Losing Weight - Finding Life....
- Thread starter ButterflyBliss
- Start date
ButterflyBliss
New member
Week 6 29/10
I am right back to square one again - where to start....
First it was having the blood test - major stress outbut had that on the Tuesday (4 days after it was due), then I was at another work function with much more senior staff than me and I was too embarrassed to ask for a special lunch or to even use my hermasetas in my coffee! And then there were the lollies at the table etc. My body was all over the shop after that.
I also let myself run out of food in the house and I used that as an excuse to get take-away on and off for the rest of the week. I was so stressed about weighing in I left work early on Friday and went to bed. Then I went out and bought 4 large blocks of chocolate. I finished the last block today (Monday) and didn't consume anything but chocolate and winter (in between mega sleep sessions!) all weekend. Of course I am totally feeling like crap because of it and didn't go to work today either. My head is all over the shop and I am seriously thinking of taking some time off work for the rest of the week to clear my head.
I did weigh in last Saturday (a week late) and had lost 6.4 kg's in the 5 weeks even with all the ups and downs I had. I must've been the only person they've ever had who was so upset about losing weight! I was hyperventilating!
There are things I need to really work through in my head at the moment. Things are so muddled I don't even know where to start. The sabotage and fear are overwhelming and on the flip side I keep weighing myself and trying on old clothes to assess how my weightloss is going despite what I keep doing to stop it!
I know that I'm not stopping so I just have to find a way of working through this until it isn't so scary.
BB
xxx
I am right back to square one again - where to start....
First it was having the blood test - major stress outbut had that on the Tuesday (4 days after it was due), then I was at another work function with much more senior staff than me and I was too embarrassed to ask for a special lunch or to even use my hermasetas in my coffee! And then there were the lollies at the table etc. My body was all over the shop after that.
I also let myself run out of food in the house and I used that as an excuse to get take-away on and off for the rest of the week. I was so stressed about weighing in I left work early on Friday and went to bed. Then I went out and bought 4 large blocks of chocolate. I finished the last block today (Monday) and didn't consume anything but chocolate and winter (in between mega sleep sessions!) all weekend. Of course I am totally feeling like crap because of it and didn't go to work today either. My head is all over the shop and I am seriously thinking of taking some time off work for the rest of the week to clear my head.
I did weigh in last Saturday (a week late) and had lost 6.4 kg's in the 5 weeks even with all the ups and downs I had. I must've been the only person they've ever had who was so upset about losing weight! I was hyperventilating!
There are things I need to really work through in my head at the moment. Things are so muddled I don't even know where to start. The sabotage and fear are overwhelming and on the flip side I keep weighing myself and trying on old clothes to assess how my weightloss is going despite what I keep doing to stop it!
I know that I'm not stopping so I just have to find a way of working through this until it isn't so scary.
BB
xxx
MellyP
New member
What happened to you???
Hi Butterflybliss, I'm so sorry to hear that you have had so much difficulty lately.
You haven't posted for a while now and I hope you haven't given up all together. This isn't the easiest of programs to be on, but it is for such a small time in your entire life and it will be soooo worth the effort to see it through and be looking amazing at the end of it. Just think this time is going to pass anyway, why not use it to get yourself on track and give yourself a bit of TLC, (and not with food and chocolate comforters). Struggles do come and go and test our resolve and character, but you CAN do this, you ARE worth it, and you will look and feel so much better for it. I don't know how much you are looking to lose, but all it takes is small steps each day. Don't beat up on yourself for blowing it, just pick yourself up, scrape yourself off and tell yourself that you can do this. Every day tell yourself - I will Not sabotage myself and my future happiness today! I can and will be the person I know I can be. Please don't give up and take care of you!
Best wishes!
Hi Butterflybliss, I'm so sorry to hear that you have had so much difficulty lately.
You haven't posted for a while now and I hope you haven't given up all together. This isn't the easiest of programs to be on, but it is for such a small time in your entire life and it will be soooo worth the effort to see it through and be looking amazing at the end of it. Just think this time is going to pass anyway, why not use it to get yourself on track and give yourself a bit of TLC, (and not with food and chocolate comforters). Struggles do come and go and test our resolve and character, but you CAN do this, you ARE worth it, and you will look and feel so much better for it. I don't know how much you are looking to lose, but all it takes is small steps each day. Don't beat up on yourself for blowing it, just pick yourself up, scrape yourself off and tell yourself that you can do this. Every day tell yourself - I will Not sabotage myself and my future happiness today! I can and will be the person I know I can be. Please don't give up and take care of you!
Best wishes!
ButterflyBliss
New member
Thank you for checking in on me MellyP!
I'm fine but work has been hectic so no time for reflection and diary entries!
I had my second weigh in and it was only low numbers but I was having one of those weeks where my weight had a mind of its own. I have so many clothes that fall off me now that I can feel the difference even if the scale flatlines. It is nice not to be bulging out of everything I own!
And even luckier for me - I seem to be losing the majority of my weight off my thighs and butt first (never had much of a belly anyway). Usually it comes off from my face and heads on downwards, with the thighs being the absolute last place to reduce.
My younger sister has been a gym junkie for a couple of years but her weight has stuck at like a size 12 (underneath it all we are both only little size 8's - small boned). Anyway she has read my Cohen's manual and thinks she might sign up too since it is working for me - dispite my ups and downs!
I haven't been perfect with my food but next week it is looking very good for me to refocus again and kick things up a notch. I am also close to booking an OS holiday for April 2007 and think I have decided on something a bit more physical, which will give me a good goal to work towards. I promise myself that I wont be fat when I go overseas next year. I just wont!
BB
xxx
I'm fine but work has been hectic so no time for reflection and diary entries!
I had my second weigh in and it was only low numbers but I was having one of those weeks where my weight had a mind of its own. I have so many clothes that fall off me now that I can feel the difference even if the scale flatlines. It is nice not to be bulging out of everything I own!
And even luckier for me - I seem to be losing the majority of my weight off my thighs and butt first (never had much of a belly anyway). Usually it comes off from my face and heads on downwards, with the thighs being the absolute last place to reduce.
My younger sister has been a gym junkie for a couple of years but her weight has stuck at like a size 12 (underneath it all we are both only little size 8's - small boned). Anyway she has read my Cohen's manual and thinks she might sign up too since it is working for me - dispite my ups and downs!
I haven't been perfect with my food but next week it is looking very good for me to refocus again and kick things up a notch. I am also close to booking an OS holiday for April 2007 and think I have decided on something a bit more physical, which will give me a good goal to work towards. I promise myself that I wont be fat when I go overseas next year. I just wont!
BB
xxx