Losing weight after relationship

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angie1

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I recently broke up with my boyfriend. We had been living together for 4 years. He always prefered me to be fatter and encouraged me to eat. I used to be skinny, but always had to be on diets to stay that way so I was happy not to have to worry about my weight.

Unfortunately,now I'm single again and huge now. I feel like an idiot for letting myself get like this. Since the breakup I've been eating even more. I want to lose weight but I get so hungry. Does anyone have advice on how to reduce my appetite?
 
Angie - let's start with the basics here. Would you mind telling us your height/weight/body fat%? Because you just broke up you might be feeling a bit down on yourself and you might have a bad self image that isn't accurate for what the rest of us would see.

So let's assume that you really do need to lose a bit of weight. Well, to reduce your appetite there isn't much you can do but eat less. Then your stomach will possibly shrink and your body will get used to less food and everything will work out. But that might not be what you need to do! How many calories do you eat in a typical day? You might be at a good spot (calorically) and just need to increase your activity. That means some form of cario workout (running, swimming, biking, etc) and ideally some form of weight training as well. Most women shy away from weights because they don't want to get "big". Well, let me tell you that won't happen unless you specifically train for it. The benefits of weight training are way too many to list, but for your purposes more muscle means that your body will burn more calories and you will lose weight and be in MUCH better shape - and your shape is more important than your weight.

So the short version:
Diet - 60%carbs/20%protein/20%fats should work well.
Cardio - at least 30min 3x a week
Weights - do them.
 
Thanks for the advice and encouragement Karlog. I'm 5'2" and currently weigh a little over 200 lbs. I don't know what my body fat % is. I wish I could get back down to the vicinity of 110-120 lbs I used to weigh, although that seems very hard to imagine right now. But I'm glad to hear that it is possible for your stomach to shrink. :D
 
OK. With that info I would bet that you are correct in that you need to lose some weight. So let me start by saying that it IS possible for you to lose that much, just don't expect it over night. I have dropped 65 pounds in the past 10 months (most of that in the first half of that time) and went from 275 to 210 (with a goal of about 190 - for a total of 85 pounds) and still dropping.

Let me start with this - do you eat until you are full? The biggest change that I made to drop that much weight was eating until I wasn't hungry anymore instead of eating until I was full. Then it is just a matter of will power to know when you have reached that spot as it is different than what I was used to. I didn't leave the table hungry, but it still wasn't the same.

Once some of the weight came off, I started working out as well. Then the weight loss slowed down, but the fat loss continued no problem - I was building muscle as I dropped fat so I was getting into much better shape! Being almost 100% over where you want to be (much bigger percentage change than mine) you might want to see a doctor and ask for some exercise advice and limitations. I bet they will have some diet ideas as well, but don't forget to ask about the exercise stuff as well!

Some general advice about the diet. Don't change what or how much you eat very drastically. If you do, you probably won't be able to stick with it and your body might not know what is going on. Drop your caloric intake a couple hundred calories per day each week until you are eating just enough that you drop weight at a steady and reasonable rate (a pound or 2 per week is about all you want to go for). And stick with the exercise!
 
Wow! coongratulations. I would love to lose 65 lbs in 10 months. I have a high school reunion this summer and would love to go in decent shape (I don't think I'd dare go as fat as I am now).

After a few years of just stuffing myself I guess I would say that I eat until I'm full. In the begining it was almost uncomfortable but I guess I got used to it and now it seems like I am very hungry and don't feel that full even though I know I'm eating more than I need to. I've always loved food but I think I'm going to have to retrain myself or get some will power. :(
 
Bariatric surgery is a popular option when trying to loose alot of weight, for some people it is the only healthy choice. Before you start any excercise rotuine consult your physician and get a physical. Nothing hurts more than passing out on the treadmil in a crowded gym.
 
Still desperate

angie said:
I recently broke up with my boyfriend. We had been living together for 4 years. He always prefered me to be fatter and encouraged me to eat. I used to be skinny, but always had to be on diets to stay that way so I was happy not to have to worry about my weight.

Unfortunately,now I'm single again and huge now. I feel like an idiot for letting myself get like this. Since the breakup I've been eating even more. I want to lose weight but I get so hungry. Does anyone have advice on how to reduce my appetite?
Click to expand...

Unfortunately, here it is a year later and instead of losing weight, I've gained 25 pounds more. I come home from work and eat like a pig. I can't even see my feet anymore. Help!
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Don't go home, go to the gym instead. Clean out your cabinets of all the junk food and other crap. Trash your secret stash of goodies. Go to the park on the weekends and walk, do something besides "eat like a pig". Heck, you can even go out with your friends dancing after going to the gym, just don't drink anything but water or eat while your out. It's all up to you, IF you want it you can have it, either way you get what you sew.
 
Nothin' to it but to do it!!!

Stop typing and get to it!

Eat less, eat healthier, weight lift, and do some form of cardio. You know the answer... It is easy to "know" the answer. The question is, are you truely motivated enough to follow through?

1. Eat 6 small meals per day (make them healthy choices);
2. Drink a gallon of water each day (8 oz. every half hour or hour);
3. Walk, run, elliptical, step, aerobic 3 times per week for at LEAST 35 minutes (shoot for 50 minutes);
4. Weight lift (aim for 10-15 reps per set - 3 to 4 sets per exercise) 3 times per week (only hit big muscle groups; i.e. thighs, chest, upper back, and glutes);
5. Workout your core muscle once or twice per week (lower back and abs);
6. Stick with it and always look for ways to improve your diet, training, and/or attitude;
7. Do six again!!! "CANI" (Constant And Never-ending Improvement) - Tony Robbins

There is only one way to solve this... Now that you have heard the answer, stop questioning your ability to follow through and do it... Now! Stop read... Go!!!

:)

Good luck,
Rip

p.s. Stop in periodically to post your improvements! And, don't forget that you may not see improvements for upto 4 weeks. Stick with it no matter what!
 
Thanks for the encouragement and good ideas. I'm going to try. Here's what I used to look like so I know I wasn't born to be fat! :p
 
Angie, If you can get through the first 2-3 weeks, you got this beat. The trick is, dont think of it as an attempt to lose weight. Think of it as a change of your lifestyle. If you want to be healthy, you can be. You can get back there, just believe in yourself. Ill tell you my story. I was a very inactive person until I was 24. I drank a good deal, smoked, ate uncontrollably. Eventually I began having breathing problems and decided I needed to quit smoking. After I quit, I started going to the gym to give myself a deterrent to starting back up again. I went from 276 down to 221. I was continuing to exercise and eat cleanly, and I started umpiring high school baseball. I also began Martial Arts training (I always wanted to do it, but wasn't in very good shape). During a ball game, a hard slide into a base sent a player into my legs (I was a bit too close, more my fault then the kids). The incident exploded my knee. I had surgery, and after I rehabed it a bit, I lost interest in exercising. I also fell back into my eating habits. Here, 3 years later, at age 28, Ive decided to get my butt back into shape, start calling ball games again, and resume my training. My knee is strong enough to take it now. I started out at 283, and in a little under a month, Im back down to 261.

The point of that long winded posts (I appreciate it if you actually read it hehe) is that the only thing stopping you from your goal of looking like you once did is your mind. If you can control your mind, you can do anything. If you need some support in your efforts, feel free to contact me.
 
Angie, Have you thought of maybe finding something that you would be interested in that might force you to work out at the same time..... such as boxing, kickboxing, stepping...etc. Something fun instead of going home?
 
Unfortunately, I never much liked to exercise and now less so with my weight and shape. I don't feel comfortable going to a gym as out of shape as I am (ironic :p ). I did try to do situps but couldn't do them because my stomach and breasts got in the way. Does anyone know of some other simple exercise that could help me shrink my middle? :confused:
 
"The trick is, dont think of it as an attempt to lose weight. Think of it as a change of your lifestyle. If you want to be healthy, you can be. You can get back there, just believe in yourself."<------------ BINGO! ^_^

Ahh you see, I too, have despised excercise before. I always thought it was hard and exclusive only for those people who have biceps bigger than my head. Excercise isn't supposed to be hard... we only make it hard because we think it's hard (btw, I right now I always need to go to the gym atleast four times a day otherwise I feel sleepy). Doing sit ups won't really help (at this point in time) because doing situps is hard if you don't have proper equipment (plus the strain in your back). I think jogging isn't good either (imho, because jogging is considered impact sports and it really strains the legs and knees) if you are a beginner. When I was still a beginner, I used an elliptical trainer (its like running without the impact) and it really worked for me ^_^ and i still don't do situps. I only do crunches. Please look up the term "spot reducing" in a search engine of your choice. I hope this helps and good luck!
 
Angie, i agree holidays are tough, i'm pigging out myself too, with the chocolates and chips and wine, its bad, but hey, we only get festive season like xmas once a year, so don't be too hard on yourself, let yourself enjoy and pick up the work again.
i find that if u starve yourself, especially when everyone else is enjoying themselves, its harder to maintain on your clean diet cos emotionally you will feel terrible(why is everyone enjoying their food and not you)
good luck!
 
you so do deserve it!!! think of all the other overweight people who arnt even TRYING to do anything about it !!! you've made the 1st step now with a new year you can make it !! remember u can do ANYTHING you really put your heart and soul into !!! :) good luck, keep me posted im happy to help in any way just PM me!!! :)
 
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