Loseforreal - My journey

Jennifer,

I know I hold water every month around that time. It was a little discouraging not seeing the scale budge for about 10 days. I just kept it in my head that if I continued my workouts I was sure to see a drop in weight once I got off my period. ----And I did. :)

You are going great on your workouts! Surely, they will pay off.

At least this time of year won't be so hot in AZ, or will it? Maybe some walks around the block would feel nice in the warm weather?

I'll stop by again soon. :)

Anne
 
hiya!

thanks for commenting on my diary. i've just read up on all your postings, and it looks like you're doing great! congrats on that 2.8!! you're doing awesome! when is Thanksgiving in the US? We celebrated in October (Canada)...

keep up the good work!
 
Hi Anne, Margaret, Starry and Tammy! :) Thanks for stopping by. :D

Anne - AZ is always hot. lol. Or warm. But at least it's a dry heat and not humid. Dry heat is a little more easier to breathe in, IMO, it's more crisp so it might not be that bad to walk in. Either that or I will not exercise and just have very small portions of food. Whatever's easier.

Starry - Thanksgiving is 22nd of November here. :) Thanks for coming by!

Margaret - Congrats on your parents 65th anniversary. That's amazing. Maybe I could take my own food. I actually think that's a great idea. At least breakfast, lunch and snack food. I'm sure my brother will have fruit there. He's a health nut. But it's just the rest of his family I'm worried about. Thanks for your encouragement as always. :)

Tammy - I walk inside thankfully. I haven't got the guts to actually walk outside yet.
 
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Today...

Breakfast Honey Bunches of Oats, Skim Milk (570 cals)
Snack: About 15 Grapes (45 cals)
Lunch: Lean Cuisine Pizza (290 cals)
Snack: 18 pretzels (36 cals)
Dinner: Subway Turkey Sandwich and Chips, Medium Diet Coke (560 cals)
Snack: 20 grapes and a bag of 100 cal. chips (160 cals)

Total: 1661 cals

Exercise: 15 minutes Taebo Fat Blaster, 45 minutes Walk N Tone with Leslie

Water: 2 Liters

Things I noticed today: How fat I really am. I walked into Subway to get my dinner, and I looked in the mirror there, that stores have in the corner of the ceiling, and got suddenly self-conscious. I know I'm fat. But damn. I never really "get it" until I see myself in a mirror or photo somewhere. My mirror in my bathroom must lie to me, cuz I think I look pretty good in that mirror. lol. *sigh* It gives more meaning and substance to my weight loss journey, though. I can't believe I'm that fat. I don't feel that fat. I guess it's really time to match the outside of myself with the inside, cuz this is getting ridiculous. I have gotten too used to the being in the mid 200s, and for some reason it's embedded in one part of my mind that it's okay to be this way. It's not. The logical side of my mind knows that and is doing something about it.

Things I'm proud of: A few friends wanted to go to Chili's for dinner tonight, for no reason at all except to eat, and I turned it down. I went to the website to see what I could eat beforehand, and there were a few things, but nothing that I would really want. I know that I would get there and want ribs, mashed potatoes and a margarita, and that's TOO many calories! So I just didn't go at all.

I'm eagar for Wednesday's weigh-in. I am not expecting a lot of change, cuz of this period thing, but I know that what I'm doing will add up and I will see the results eventually, like you guys say. If I could find my tape measure, I could measure myself to keep track of that too... but I can't find it anywhere! Oh well. I'll keep looking...
 
Hi Jennifer

I know that it will add clutter to your house when you find your old tape measure - but - invest in a new tape measure. They are inexpensive and could give you a real buzz when you see the inches come down.

I have no idea what my start measurements were and now I wish that I did. The oldest measurements that I have are from late September.

When you are working as hard as we are on a project - we want to see results.

It is like dieting and then saying "I havent got scales so I wont bother weighing myself". You deny yourself such pleasure of seeing quantifyable results for your work.

Well done on being strong and not going out to eat high calorie food. We all like to go out every now and again and splurging - but if we do it too often it does make the project harder. Maybe next time you can persuade them to go somewhere that has a better selection of healthy food. Alternatively - you could offer to make a meal for them. They could have healthy food and not even realise it.

Noticing fatness. Been there - done that. It is true - the image of myself that I had (and have) in my mind bears little resemblance to what the world sees. I have spent decades bumping into things because I misjudge how far away from something I am. It is a nasty shock if we see a reflection that we do not expect - because I think we judge ourselves as we would a stranger.

You are being good with your food and exercise so it is just a matter of time before the pounds come away and the world sees you more like your mental image.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
I got on the scale this morning and I was 288.8 and then I was so annoyed by that number that I hoped on it again to make sure that was correct and it said 289.9. Now what is THAT about? My scale is digital, so I'm wondering if its starting to mess up. I think it's time I get a new scale now. This is so frustrating.

Margaret, and while I'm at it, I think I'll buy some new tape measure too. :)
 
that is odd i know that stepping ona nd off with most scales you can get different numbers but its usually by like .2-.3 not over a pound. I would look intoa new scale for sure. I am sure you jsut have one that isnt to accurate. I use this one I got from weight watchers and it seems to be just the ticket for me.

You really sound like your on the right path and congrats for turning down chilies I know that just not putting yourself in that situation is for the best.

I hope your day ends well! Keep on going!
 
Hi Jennifer

That is wierd with the scale. I havent had a discrepancy like that. As Requiem said maybe a fifth of a pound - in which case I get on for a third go and go with the most likely (i.e. whatever gets repeated).

Back to basics with scales. It is best to use on a hard floor (not carpet) and always have the scales in the same place. My bathroom floor is tiled so I always line up the sides of the scales with a certain tile. Obviously the scales would be in the same position today for you - but was it a hard surface?

If you cannot think of a problem it would be worth looking at replacing them.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
I think I'll keep the scale. It's a really nice scale, I think I may have moved it on the floor, I'm not sure. But it seems accurate enough.

It's my weigh-in day and I'm at 290.0. It's a gain. Well, technically it's a loss since I started the week at 291.2. But then I got on the scale some days later and it said 288.4. Oh well. I'm not gonna keep that number.

I'm going to update my ticker to that. I have been doing everything correct and exercising SO much. Right before I started my diet, I decided to eat some fast food... a lot of it. Plus my period. I think all these factors are what made me gain a little bit.

I'm not gonna stress over it. This is the beginning of a new week, and I know time will tell.

My calories for yesterday were 1700 cals. And I did not exercise. My body was so tired and sore from exercising everyday of the week previously. So I think I'll make Tuesdays my off day.

I also decided to stop eating so much bad food... like chips and such. Even if they are low in calorie, I have problems getting full off of it, and I'm always hungry it seems. I'm gonna switch to veggies, fruits and nuts, and hopefully it will make me more full and I won't be craving as much.

Cheers, here's to a new week... :) Thanks Margaret and Travis. :)
 
Hi Jennifer

Did you say that you have been eating chips. That could explain so much....

Did they have a lot of salt on them because salt makes you hold water.

Try not to eat anything too salty because it makes you weigh heavier with all that water. There is more to the picture than just calories indicate.

That is why I struggle to drink water instead of diet cola (which I am addicted to).

We all have days when our weight goes up. Check out some of my recent weighings on the "weigh every day" club. And other people's there. You will see that we often go down and then slightly up. It is all ok in the end if you keep being good. My weight was a little bit more on Monday and Tuesday than it had been Sunday - but it is less than Sunday's weight today.

There is absolutely nothing to stress about.

The move to veggies and fruit sounds an excellent idea.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
Hey Jennifer!!! Thanks for popping into my diary today, that was real sweet of you!! I posted a short reply back. Also, you said you were from CA in my diary, where abouts?? That's where I was born and raised. Good place!! nice weather too!!

I read about your struggles in the past, boy have we all been there. It's really hard to keep focused and make the "lifestyle" change in order to keep the weight off for life, trust me I know!! I think the hardest part for me was to stop the cravings for certain foods like "CARBS" I love bread, pasta and the only fast food I craved was "French Fries" I'm not going to be the one to tell you, STOP eating BAD FOOD, NOPE I would never do that, because I don't follow that rule. Instead, I took breaks from the so called "bad stuff" like the items I mentioned above. I would stop eating them for several weeks, then slowly "IF" I felt the need to have pasta or some fries, I would allow myself ONE day a week to do so. After about 6 months of doing this, I no longer have those cravings. Never, and I mean NEVER tell yourself you can't have something, or must not have it, because that is a total sabotage right from the start.

Weight loss is a state of mind, it's a new mind set, it's a new "lifestyle" you shouldn't have to GIVE UP anything, you just have to do it right. Like eat smaller portions, cut back on snacks, drink lots of water, and allow yourself a splurge day once a week. And of course ALWAYS do some form of exercise at least 3 days a week, ANYTHING, walking counts and so does dancing in your living room. If you can stay on top of this, then you will have NO PROBLEM getting to your goal.

I will stop by as often as I can to encourage you along your journey, I have no doubt you will make it!! Keep up the positive attitude, Don't get upset with yourself if you have a "bad day" and don't get discouraged if the scale doesn't show you what you want to see. Use a tape measure and keep that updated weekly, that is the true test of accomplishment, This I learned the hard way. Lots of luck to you my friend, and I wish you a great goal week!!
Hugs!
Kim
 
Margaret,

Yeah, I've been eating those little 100 calorie bags of chips often. I thought about the sodium that could be in the chips, and that probably has a lot to do with it too. I'm not too worried about it, just a bit disappointed. I know that I will see results and that I have to be patient because I have a long way to go, and I'm not gonna make myself be in a hurry to get there.

Thanks so much. :)



Kim,

Thanks for the encouragement! You're a sweetheart! You are absolutely right about not denying myself anything. Although I do have to cut down, a lot. The veggies I think will help curve my appetite, better than chips.

I live in Redlands, California. That's about 45 mins. east of Riverside. Or two hours east of L.A.. Nobody ever knows where it is when I tell them. It's a nice town that has been growing very rapidly over the last few years. The weather is always very nice.


Thanks for droppin' in, have a great day, and I will definitely be doing the tape measure thing.
. :D

Jennifer
 
So, the lady that wanted to join Curves with me comes by today and she says, "I think we should go to the fat doctor." I'm like, "Huh?" She's says, "Yeah, so he can put us on some diet pills. I don't really want to go to Curves, but I like the energy diet pills gives me." I immediately said no, and I was a bit irritated at nerve of her to ask me this.

It annoys me SO much when people want a quick fix to things. They don't wanna work hard. Then she went on to talk about how it would kill her to exercise at Curves, cuz she can't do it. This lady is big, I'd say 320lbs, but she seems to me to be in great shape even so. She walks around fine. She has a job that requires her to walk around all day, and be on her feet.

So then my mom pipes in and says, "Jennifer, the doctor would monitor you on the pills, it would be safe." I get mad and say "Absolutely not. No way." It annoys me that my own mother would think that diet pills are a good idea for me.

So then they stop trying to get me to go on the diet pills. And then the lady says that I should come over to her house to workout with her tomorrow because she has all kinds of exercise tapes, but then I get confused cuz she just said she can't workout. WTF?

Anyway, so I say ok. I guess I'm gonna go workout at her house. I'm probably being pessimistic, but I doubt this will last long. I know it's hard to lose weight, to get started and stick with it, but the thought of her wanting to go on diet pills just tells me that she won't stick with it in the long run. Her mind isn't in the right place.

I don't know why this is bothering me so much. Maybe it's because I can see myself in her? I can see myself a few years from now still heavy, still lying to myself. Hell, I was her just a few weeks ago. Lying to myself. Trying to think of quick fixes myself.

It's such BS, all of it. I am so tired of this endless cycle of yo-yo-ing, of lying to myself of being a threat to my own self. It's just so exhausting and nerve racking.

All of this was a huge motivator at least. As soon as she left I turned on ExerciseTV and did some cardio. It's like, I'd be damned if I let myself get back to that point. I cannot. I will not.

Sorry for my rant...
 
Hi Jennifer

Well done for doing some cardio with the television. The great thing about that is not only do you get the benefit of the exercise - but also it helps you get the aggression out of your system. And you are bound to have felt aggressive (or at least I presume so - because that is just how I feel when it seems that people are messing me about).

People can have differing opinions regarding diet pills - I however have never taken any.

I did watch a television program last week on the subject - here is the associated link in case you want to read about the points raised.



Obviously it will be nice for you to workout with this lady - these things are always more fun if you have company. But you can workout with her and not follow the same path as her regarding other aspects of her project. This is something for you and you alone to decide.

I am convinced that you can get where you want to be with hard work, diet and exercise. Well done for the work that you have done so far.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
hey jennifer!!

i've read up on your postings- scales are weird and stupid like that sometimes, but def no reason to get rid of it. it may have just been the way you were standing on it? who knows...

good job for not doing the diet pills! i had a friend (who was already a stick and didn't need to lose weight) that tried some, and she ended up getting a horrible reaction to them- for no reason! that was enough to steer me away from them. you're definitely right about the people who take the pills only want a quick fix- good to know we've got our minds on the right track! it may take us a little longer, but we'll definitely win in the long run :hurray:

have a good night!
 
heya champ,


I agree with everyone else and yourself good job on refuseing teh pills. I tried them once cause I was lazy and they made me feel weird, I just stopped taking them and trashed them outright, this was a long time ago several years. You cannot go for that easy fix. Your doing so well anyway you dont need that crap. You should go to curves yourself im sure you will meet a ton of epole to work out with tehre if thats a concern. Just stay positive and your going to keep seeing the results!
 
Hi Starry and Margaret - Thanks for the link. I will check it out. You both absolutely right. I kinda see diet pills as one step to being cocaine or something. I was just so offended that she would ask me that. But whatever... Thanks for the encougement... as always ;) You're both right. I can get there with hard work and exercise.

Hey Travis - Thanks so much. You're right as well. And I'm glad you ditched the diet pills. I once bought TrimSpa. I spent 40 bucks on them... and they are still in my medicine cabinet... untouched. I should throw those things away already. They are SO not the option.

Jennifer
 
So. I was so tired yesterday that I didn't post my food or anything. I was SOOOO tired!! lol. My food was around 1700 calories. I only got 30 minutes of exercise in.


But a good thing. I hopped on the scale this morning and I weighed 287.2! Yay. I trust that number cuz I hopped on the scale a few times, in a few different spots and it all kept saying the same thing.

So I will update my tickers, and go read some diaries.... Sorry I haven't gotten around to diaries lately!

Jennifer
 
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