Lori's Diary

[bmohearn]

I"m sorry everything sucks for you right now. You need to take a personal day, and remember not to put too much on your plate. I am struggling with money at the moment too... but there is nothing either of us can do except for working where we can to get the money. I know this is cliché...but it is always darkest before the dawn. Its true. Keep your chin up.

 

[missblonde4878]

I"m sorry everything sucks for you right now. You need to take a personal day, and remember not to put too much on your plate. I am struggling with money at the moment too... but there is nothing either of us can do except for working where we can to get the money. I know this is cliché...but it is always darkest before the dawn. Its true. Keep your chin up.

You're right..things always get worse before they get better. I think its just starting to get to me because it is taking sooooo long for me to find a job. But, that just means I haven't found the right one yet.


So, this morning I woke up totally confused. Yesterday morning, I weighed myself and was 207 a huge jump from 200.5. I was so upset. I mean, I kind of expected to be a little heavier because I had eaten Chinese the day before..and I'm sure it was loaded with sodium - but I didn't expect it to be that much! Throughout the day though, I went back down to 202 which was a little more reasonable..so I guess the majority was water weight.

But, the reason why I'm so confused this morning is because my boyfriend and I had friends over last night, and we drank and ordered out - pizza, italian hoagie, jalapeno poppers, fries with bacon and cheese..the works. And after quite a few cocktails, I decided to splurge. So, I knew for sure that the scale would be higher this morning because of all of the crap I ate - but it wasn't! It was still at 202 - very weird. Can't complain though...just weird.

 

[bmohearn]

That food sounds so good. lol. mmmmmmmm.

Maybe the reason you didn't gain was because you still had water weight left from the chinese food that you got rid of- and replaced with the other food??? I don't know. BUT lucky YOU!!!

 

[missblonde4878]

Well, I haven't exercised in the past 4 days...very, very disappointed in myself. I did let the stress get to me, and just didn't feel like doing crap. I pretty much had an emotional breakdown yesterday and wasn't myself at all - and my mom pointed out that I haven't been doing anything to release endorphins for the past 4 days and no wonder I was an emotional WRECK!

Its so weird with me because I ate times I have this self-discipline that can't be beat, and then its like I fall off the bandwagon and don't give a shit. I guess its pretty normal, but I wish that I could get to being consistent.

I'm dreading putting my progress pictures for the last day of February because I don't think that there will be much of a change. February was not a good month for me..I didn't really watch what I ate..and didn't exercise as much as I did in December and January.

I am disappointed in myself, but I know that I can either just give up, or pick up where I left off before I started being a slacker! Just gotta figure out a way to motivate myself.

I noticed that it has been harder sticking to healthy eating since I started working with my mom. Before, I was home all the time, so I didn't have the temptation of fast food and could prepare the meals myself. Now, I'm just being too lazy to pack something to take..that, and the fact that I don't have money to buy stuff to pack for lunch. I'm just going to have to start making healthier choices when my mom takes me out to eat.

I haven't done my measurements since the beginning of the month, so maybe doing the pictures and measurements this weekend is what will kick my ass into gear.

 

[bmohearn]

Cheer up girl! I went off course for 6 months one time. I ignored the forum, ate what I wanted, didn't exercise, etc... I gained back the 20 lbs that I lost. So... its always possible to get back on the horse. Cheer up and do 5 minutes of something fitness related- you will feel better even if it is only 5 minutes.

 

[missblonde4878]

You gotta good point bmohearn.

Yesterday was a little better. I did 55 min of cardio with weights..and I felt better afterwards. My knees are aching a little this morning. And it was a little tougher doing last night - I guess since I haven't exercised.

I sat down last night and tried figuring out what kept me motivated for the past few months - and it was the forum contest that I was doing, and my family and friends.

I have sort of shut off my family and friends - I mean I still talk to them, but over the past couple of months, it was to the point where they were asking me how I was doing with my weight loss journey - if I was still exercising, etc., and that kept me motivated because I felt like I wasn't in it alone.

As far as doing the contest on the Forum - it held me accountable for the week. I knew that I had to weigh in every Friday and bust my ass to hit the goal for the week or I would be eliminated. I have tried entering other contests, but they just aren't the same.

Maybe I could start a thread or contest that is similar to that one. I don't know what the rules are though - if anyone is allowed to start a contest - or a particular moderator has to do it.

I guess I'll jump around on here a bit and see what I can find out. Unfortunately, if I did start a contest..I don't have the funds to get any cool prizes..lol.

But I'm gonna put some thought into it because I think if I got back to that weekly accountability, it would help - and I'm usually pretty good at thinking up contests.

Well, today is a new day - and hopefully my knees aren't hurting tonight so I can workout again!

 

[MissJellyBelly]

I have a picture of Britney Spears when she was at her best on my refrigerator as a goal of what I want to look like.

So, am I actually hurting myself in striving to be built like a celebrity? Does anyone else out there have the same motivation?

Just curious..

Hi MissB! I came by to check out your diary cuz I saw your friendly smile on your avatar in another thread.You look like a happy person!! We have some things in common, especially the celeb motivators. OMGoodness did I obsess over wanting to look like teen Britney. I have her DVDs to watch to make me disgusted with myself, but I haven't actually watched them in years. Maybe I should to get more motivation. lol Now that Britney is larger, I think we can look just like her! haha She now looks more like a real woman. I'm still a big fan and think she looks good.

 

[MissJellyBelly]

But, the reason why I'm so confused this morning is because my boyfriend and I had friends over last night, and we drank and ordered out - pizza, italian hoagie, jalapeno poppers, fries with bacon and cheese..the works. And after quite a few cocktails, I decided to splurge. So, I knew for sure that the scale would be higher this morning because of all of the crap I ate - but it wasn't! It was still at 202 - very weird. Can't complain though...just weird.

OMG! That sounds so good, and so much like what my favorite foods are. My mouth is watering. Those are old friends. Poppers are my favorite. I find after I eat them that they have a way of evacuating the system first thing the next morning, so perhaps that might help with water weight?? I hope this doesn't just gross you out, but when I want to drop it like it's hot, I eat poppers!

 

[bmohearn]

You can start a contest whenever you want to. I was thinking about making a contest soon (like within today or tomorrow) Just like the one that We were both in that bikinibound made. I asked her because I wanted to take her idea from the Biggest Loser contest... she said she didn't mind. But also... March 7th, Bikinibound is making another contest designed like the Amazing Race. So take a look for one starting up soon... like I said, I am going to be making one tonight or tomorrow.

 

[missblonde4878]

lol Now that Britney is larger, I think we can look just like her! haha She now looks more like a real woman. I'm still a big fan and think she looks good.

You know its scary..because I have thought the EXACT SAME THING! My friends think I'm crazy for still supporting her..but I honestly feel bad for her. I can imagine having paparazzi in my face like that 24-7...I think it would make anyone go crazy!

And when she was under all the criticism for her performance on MTV last year for being overweight, I wanted to scream! I hope and pray that I look that good after 2 kids...I mean, I haven't even had any kids and I'd still like to look like that!

...but when I want to drop it like it's hot, I eat poppers!

Okay, you have me dying over here..I fell off of my chair when I read this! Too freakin funny! It is true though!

I just need to figure out a way to make those kind of foods a thing of my past...its so hard though - There's a different pizza place on ever corner where I live - so driving home and seeing them just KILLS ME! But I know if I'm determined I can do it!

Thanks so much for stopping by my diary! Come back any time!

 

[missblonde4878]

I was thinking about making a contest soon (like within today or tomorrow) Just like the one that We were both in that bikinibound made.

YESSSSS! That is the kind of contest I want to do! That is the one that held me accountable week to week. I liked the fact that they were small teams..and we all got to know each other and keep each other motivated.

I joined the Body Transformation Contest...but it just isn't the same. I don't know if the time period is too long, or it just isn't as close and personal as bikinibound's was, but I really liked it. I am a very competitive person, but the contest has to still peak my interest, ya know? I would definitely sign up if you made one similar to bikinibound's...I thought that one was awesome!

If you're making one, I will wait to do one.

Have a fantastic day!

 

[bmohearn]

YESSSSS! That is the kind of contest I want to do! That is the one that held me accountable week to week. I liked the fact that they were small teams..and we all got to know each other and keep each other motivated.

I joined the Body Transformation Contest...but it just isn't the same. I don't know if the time period is too long, or it just isn't as close and personal as bikinibound's was, but I really liked it. I am a very competitive person, but the contest has to still peak my interest, ya know? I would definitely sign up if you made one similar to bikinibound's...I thought that one was awesome!

If you're making one, I will wait to do one.

Have a fantastic day!

I made the contest. Its called the Summer Solstice challenge. It is sort of long, but it will be teams and eliminations. NOT exactly like bikinibounds...but very similar. I'm still working out the fine tuning of it, but the sign up sheet is there. Take a look!

 

[MissJellyBelly]

You know its scary..because I have thought the EXACT SAME THING! My friends think I'm crazy for still supporting her..but I honestly feel bad for her. I can imagine having paparazzi in my face like that 24-7...I think it would make anyone go crazy!

And when she was under all the criticism for her performance on MTV last year for being overweight, I wanted to scream! I hope and pray that I look that good after 2 kids...I mean, I haven't even had any kids and I'd still like to look like that!

Okay, you have me dying over here..I fell off of my chair when I read this! Too freakin funny! It is true though!

I felt bad for brit brit too! I can't imagine what that must be like to have fricken human size mosquitos all around all day long flashing and clicking and harassing. I too felt like she looked amazing after having two kids. I didnt think she was anywhere near fat. People are so cruel. I'll show them fat. haha I didn't think her MTV appearance was that bad, she only messed up a few times. I was so happy to see her rocking it like she did. She'll make a bigger comeback, I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of her good days.

You want a piece of me? lol

I joined weight watchers, and am on my 4th week. I have been eating a lot of Lean Cuisine pizzas to get my fix. I can live on pizza! If only they made wings and poppers. lol

 

[missblonde4878]

I didn't think her MTV appearance was that bad, she only messed up a few times. I was so happy to see her rocking it like she did. She'll make a bigger comeback, I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of her good days.

I don't think she was HORRIBLE the way that the media made her out to be, but it definitely wasn't the normal "Britney" performance. There wasn't any umph in it. But no one wanted to take into account all the shit she has been going through...all of the speculation from the media. I honestly thought it took balls to get up there on that stage knowing that people were just going to tear her apart - regardless if she did well or not. She seemed like she was a little out of it, and not really into her performance..but I think her nerves just got the best of her.

I joined weight watchers, and am on my 4th week. I have been eating a lot of Lean Cuisine pizzas to get my fix. I can live on pizza! If only they made wings and poppers. lol

I don't know why I always forget about those pizzas. I usually have a very strong will..but lately with stress, I have been a major slacker in the diet area. I have to figure out a way to force myself to make healthier choices and not give into temptation so easily.

 

[bikinibound]

Hi Lori!

I do hope you'll get a team together and join my Amazing Race contest. You did so well on the last one, and I think you'll enjoy it.

I'm sorry your dad has given you so many self-esteem issues. I'd like to take a whip to him. No wonder so many women these days have become almost neurotic about their looks. As a society, we place far too much emphasis on it. I hope that you can learn to love yourself for who you are, and not who someone else thinks you should be. Forget about Jessica Biel or Brittany--just try to be the best Lori you can--that's all you can do. I think (and I've told you this before) that you're pretty even at your current weight.

I'm sorry the job search is taking so long. I've been there, done that, so I know how frustrating and worrisome it can be. Best of luck!
~Kimberly

 

[missblonde4878]

Hi Lori!

I do hope you'll get a team together and join my Amazing Race contest. You did so well on the last one, and I think you'll enjoy it.

I'm sorry your dad has given you so many self-esteem issues. I'd like to take a whip to him. No wonder so many women these days have become almost neurotic about their looks. As a society, we place far too much emphasis on it. I hope that you can learn to love yourself for who you are, and not who someone else thinks you should be. Forget about Jessica Biel or Brittany--just try to be the best Lori you can--that's all you can do. I think (and I've told you this before) that you're pretty even at your current weight.

I'm sorry the job search is taking so long. I've been there, done that, so I know how frustrating and worrisome it can be. Best of luck!
~Kimberly

Kimberly - Thank you so much for the encouraging words...thankfully, my mom was the person who raised me -- they got divorced when I was three..and he didn't play a very big part in my childhood. My mom is the exact opposite of him. I've learned to kind of push the negative voice in my head waaay down inside..but I still hear it. My boyfriend tells me all the time that I'm too hard on myself and that I don't need to lose as much as I think I do. I don't even think its about hitting a certain number, I just want to LIKE my body.

The job search is looking up...I got a call back from a company that said they picked a different candidate..but now they want me for a different office..so that could turn out to be kinda cool -- especially since its the job I really want. I just keep telling myself..it won't be like this forever!

As far as the contest - you know I'm in! I think I'm going to team up with Wulsk and mom2.

Thanks again for stoppin by my diary! Come back anytime!

 

[bmohearn]

I think all of us can be really hard on ourselves... I am the biggest candidate for that- and yet I think that is what made me even bigger. The Summer Solstice Challenge isn't going to start until March 7th- I hope you're still up for it, JUST not enough people signed up for the short notice I gave. My fault. We don't even have 1/3 of how many people we need. lol.

 

[missblonde4878]

Oh, I'm still in...do you have a backup plan if you still don't get enough people in time? Maybe shorten the amount of players needed...

 

[bikinibound]

That's great news about the job! I hope it pans out. What line of work are you in?

I think you, Wulsk and mom2 would be a very tough team to beat. There are some really good teams signed up so far. I've got my work cut out for me.

 

[missblonde4878]

That's great news about the job! I hope it pans out. What line of work are you in?

Well, I spent the last ten years of my career in the Finance/Mortgage industry..and as you've probably heard in the news, the mortgage industry isn't doing so well. The majority of my career was at a finance company and I worked my way up to a Manager - and I did Sales, Customer Service, Collections..you name it, I did it.

I kinda wanna get away from Sales - just don't want the pressure anymore. So, the position I'm hoping to get is an Admissions Advisor for a beauty school...big change from the MONEY industry..but much needed!