-Devil-
New member
For most that do not know me, i started trying to lose weight Feb of last year, and for a while i was doing good ... (at the time i had my wife doing it as well which was helping me stay focused) ... well around August she quit doing it ... and then around the last of Sept and Oct we had a falling out that almost ended in a Divorce. since then things are back again relationship wise ... (for the most part) ...
but since that event i have lost pretty much any desire i had to exercise, loose weight or even ride my bike (which i really love to do) ...
i haven't gained back up to my orig weight yet (was 281, right now in the 250's range) .. but i can feel it happening soon if i do not find something or somehow to get it under control again...
heh, tried going to Ruston (where there is a great mountain bike trail) today to ride for a bit ... and all i ended up doing was realizing that i have lost the desire or willpower to push myself while riding my bike ... all i can blame it on is the BS between me and my wife that happened back in Sept / Oct of last year ... it was that point when i stopped really caring much about stuff i do ...
i guess it is time for me to rethink a lot of stuff .. and try to find something to do or something to focus on that will help me get everything back in line and moving forward again ...
so for now it looks like i won't be riding much ... the 'fun' is gone for me ...
i made it about 1 mile at at the park in Ruston before almost passing out and throwing up ... after that i just sat by a tree for a bit before going back to my car and coming home ...
if it makes sense ... my desire to ride feels like it has been replaced with a hatred that just makes me want to push myself till i go to far ... instead of being able to pace myself like i used to.
not really expecting much of a response, just posting this up in case anyone wonders.
when i got back home and unloaded my gear, all i could do was sit around for a while and cry, because i can't do something that i enjoy doing ... and i do not honestly know why i can't do it ...
but since that event i have lost pretty much any desire i had to exercise, loose weight or even ride my bike (which i really love to do) ...
i haven't gained back up to my orig weight yet (was 281, right now in the 250's range) .. but i can feel it happening soon if i do not find something or somehow to get it under control again...
heh, tried going to Ruston (where there is a great mountain bike trail) today to ride for a bit ... and all i ended up doing was realizing that i have lost the desire or willpower to push myself while riding my bike ... all i can blame it on is the BS between me and my wife that happened back in Sept / Oct of last year ... it was that point when i stopped really caring much about stuff i do ...
i guess it is time for me to rethink a lot of stuff .. and try to find something to do or something to focus on that will help me get everything back in line and moving forward again ...
so for now it looks like i won't be riding much ... the 'fun' is gone for me ...
i made it about 1 mile at at the park in Ruston before almost passing out and throwing up ... after that i just sat by a tree for a bit before going back to my car and coming home ...
if it makes sense ... my desire to ride feels like it has been replaced with a hatred that just makes me want to push myself till i go to far ... instead of being able to pace myself like i used to.
not really expecting much of a response, just posting this up in case anyone wonders.
when i got back home and unloaded my gear, all i could do was sit around for a while and cry, because i can't do something that i enjoy doing ... and i do not honestly know why i can't do it ...