Looking for support!!! please!!

confuzzledwife

confuzzledwife

New member
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Hi everyone!

Well, here I go again. A bit about me - I'm almost 40, married, 5 kids and work from home. About 4 yrs ago I weighed in at 187. Been heavy all my life, chubby, fat, you name it that was me since I was a kid. 4 years ago I was determined to lose weight and for the first time in my life did it! I used the Power 90 program and cut my calories to about 1100 a day. It worked. I said to myself 3 months or 90 days is nothing- exactly 90 days later I weighed 142.. I was SO happy! I went from a tight fitting 14 to a nice fitting 8 or 10. I liked the way I looked and felt.. I stayed that way for awhile, gained 10, lost 10- but overall was happy. And I'm 5'4".

Well everything changed this past year, primarily the past 4 months. Nothing changed in my life, except my eating patterns.. for whatever reason I've become addicted to hot fudge sundaes and I use extra hot fudge, extra heavy whipped cream and in a day I go through a quart of ice cream. I have NO energy, I'm tired ALL the time to a point where I can't get up energy to do simple things like housework. Oh, and oreos- that's another one, I've been eating 2 rows with milk like it's nothing then I feel sick afterwards.

The last time I weighed myself (around May), I was 192. UGH. That's the heaviest non-pregnant weight I'd ever been. I know I weigh more than that now but have been too afraid to get on the scale.

But tonight reality hit me. I was giving my kids a bath- normally I leave the bathroom door open, tonight for whatever reason I shut it. I have a mirror on the bathroom door- I was sitting on the edge of the tub while they were playing and OMG- I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror in a position I'd never noticed before and couldn't believe what I saw! I thought something was stuck to the back of my shirt and realized it was a HUGE fat roll on my back! YUCK! I feel so disgusted with myself right now. I ended up getting on the scale and my weight is at 195. :ack2:

I feel gross .. I don't know what made me think I could eat this junk and things would be OK.

My goal is to lose this weight.. I don't like to set a certain weight, the reason for that is because last time I wanted to get to 135 and at 142 I felt GREAT.. I know for sure I want to get back in to the 140 range, so I'm looking to lose at least 40 lbs.

I need encouragement, support and this forum seems the place to go.. I'm also hoping to connect with someone that is looking for a weight loss buddy, someone to share ideas with, etc.,

I'll be back tomorrow to post my measurements.. I also took before pics but right now I can't get the nerve up to post them.

Thanks for reading!
 
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Hi and welcome.

You might want to start a journal in that section ... it's a great place to keep track of your progress and for people to check in on you.
 
cw, its for sure not an easy task of taking the weight off and keeping it off. I myself tried a "diet plan" about 4 yrs ago that a co-coworker suggested who was using it and I dont even know how much I lost but I for sure looked better and felt better and one day one of the guys at a local shop was walking by and said "hey, your losing weight arent ya?" and I really felt proud of myself. The bad thing was, that I continued the diet for a few more weeks and Im not sure exactly what happened... something between trying to adhere to the diet plan + the fact my wife hadnt noticed or made any comments like that guy did... and I fell off the wagon and never looked back.

Now this time around Im 100% positive that I will get it all off and keep it that way, because this time Im not following a specific plan. I made up my own personal plan... and in all reality its not even a "plan" because I eat what I want out of all the choices "I" decided were the right things to eat/drink. And Im not considering it a diet, because to me a diet is something you do and then it ends at some point, where as I consider this more of a lifestyle change since this is something I will do forever.

Diet plans can sometimes be too restrictive on what you can eat and also tend to be rather repetative in what they want you to eat. There are tons of foods that can be eaten out there which are healthy, so try to sit down and come up with a list of "good things" and take it slow.

You can do it!
 
re looking for support

Hi!
I know what you mean.. when I go into the mindset that it's a "diet" it's probably the worse thing I can do to myself.. like I'm depriving myself.

Funny, when I'd lost weight before I kept track of my calories but didn't restrict myself from foods I liked.. for example, if I just HAD to have that McDonald's cheeseburger, I did so and and deducted it off my calories for the day, and the same went for if I wanted or (needed) chocolate lol.. I didn't feel deprived knowing that if I really wanted it I could, but that I'd have to take that from the calories for that day.

I actually maintained that weight loss for a good long time without trying afterwards. I exercised sporadically, walked the track, but no set schedule. I kept that weight off for over a year then slowly it came back, but when I gained 10 I just went back on the program and lost it.. but this past year, mainly the past 6 months OMG- it's all back and then some! I've been telling myself, ok it's 10 lbs.. I'll lose it, then it was 15, then 20, and I kept getting myself in deeper and deeper.

I need to get out of these 16's (which I never wore) and give myself a kick in the ass to get going.

I imagine it sucked for you that your wife didn't notice.. sorry to hear that.

BUT - I totally appreciate the support :)
 
Well that wife is roughly days from having the letter X in front of her name once I sign the papers, so now within a few months when Im ready to have my picture taken for the cover of GQ... she can think about that mistake hahahaha.

And like wise... appreciate the support :)
 
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