When I was young, I was the skinny one.
Of course, I'm talking REALLY young.
Up to age nine I was tall, skinny, and had big feet.
Well, I still have big feet.
Around age nine I began to pack on the pounds. I hadn't changed my eating or exercise habits, but admittedly neither had been good for my whole nine years of life. Not that my mother didn't feed me well, oh no, she was the guru of good food.
However, I was the child who snuck around while mom took a bath and stole the chips and cookies from the counter to take them upstairs and munch on them while playing video games, leaving only the cheeto-orange stains on the controller as evidence of my crime.
When my parents noticed I was getting heavy, they paid it little mind. Afterall, children seem to pick up weight at certain times, many a little while before puberty and (since my family has a history of early puberty), it seemed perfectly possible that, at nine, I could be about a year or two away from it.
However, all through and after the main boom of puberty, I continued to gain weight and it was no growth spurt either. I stopped getting taller when I was 11 and quickly fell behind most other girls in my area in that aspect, staying at 5' 3" while some of my best friends (girls) shot up to heights between 5' 8" and 6'1".
I never really paid attention to my weight until I turned 13, not really caring about my appearance. Then at 13 I was called 'fat b*%^h' for the first time. I went home, looked at myself, realized I was fat, and went off and ate a heaping bowl of ice cream to make myself feel better.
That was how it was for me, I'd be upset, or stressed and I would eat right away. Having an anxiety disorder in the mix with that didn't exactly spell weight loss. Scared of dissapointing my parents, failing a test (despite my straight 'A' record I was always afraid of failing, feeling ugly, and eventually despising my very existence all fueled the feeling of need for more comfort food and less activity.
Of course, my first signs of emotional eating came in Elementary School when the big bully, started to focus her attention on me, shoving me into walls, smacking my head on the water fountain, hitting me with books, all with no reprimanding from teachers. I would go home and cry over a serving of three or four Little Debbie's snack cakes. This particular bully went away after my mom sat me down and got the truth out of me, then proceeded to call the school and mention the word 'law suit'.
But then came other parts of my life with stress and dissapointment that, in emotional eaters like me, seem to set off some sort of part in the brain which commands the body to consume as much unhealthy food as is physically possible.
Throughout High School I tried over and over to lose weight, using Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, everything that I could get my hands on. However, nothing ever worked. The constant talk of 'When you think you're hungry, ask yourself if you really are' backfired over and over again because when I was upset was when I thought I was hungry and, with 'mind over matter' I could hardly tell the difference between upset and starving.
Finally, the second half of my Senior year in High School I decided enough was enough (after walking upstairs became a challenge and my 4 year old cousin pointed at me and said 'you're fat'). I joined a weight loss class and cut my calories, sugar, and fat intake.
Since then I have lost 54 pounds from a top weight of 264. My goal is to reach 145 at this point since that is the high end of healthy for my height. However, as that is a very big goal (almost 120 pounds total) My main goal now is to simply be at 199, below 200 pounds. Which means, at this point, just eleven more to go.
Now that you know my life story as far as weight loss goes, know that, if you're interested in looking at this again, there will be more information to come.
Of course, I'm talking REALLY young.
Up to age nine I was tall, skinny, and had big feet.
Well, I still have big feet.
Around age nine I began to pack on the pounds. I hadn't changed my eating or exercise habits, but admittedly neither had been good for my whole nine years of life. Not that my mother didn't feed me well, oh no, she was the guru of good food.
However, I was the child who snuck around while mom took a bath and stole the chips and cookies from the counter to take them upstairs and munch on them while playing video games, leaving only the cheeto-orange stains on the controller as evidence of my crime.
When my parents noticed I was getting heavy, they paid it little mind. Afterall, children seem to pick up weight at certain times, many a little while before puberty and (since my family has a history of early puberty), it seemed perfectly possible that, at nine, I could be about a year or two away from it.
However, all through and after the main boom of puberty, I continued to gain weight and it was no growth spurt either. I stopped getting taller when I was 11 and quickly fell behind most other girls in my area in that aspect, staying at 5' 3" while some of my best friends (girls) shot up to heights between 5' 8" and 6'1".
I never really paid attention to my weight until I turned 13, not really caring about my appearance. Then at 13 I was called 'fat b*%^h' for the first time. I went home, looked at myself, realized I was fat, and went off and ate a heaping bowl of ice cream to make myself feel better.
That was how it was for me, I'd be upset, or stressed and I would eat right away. Having an anxiety disorder in the mix with that didn't exactly spell weight loss. Scared of dissapointing my parents, failing a test (despite my straight 'A' record I was always afraid of failing, feeling ugly, and eventually despising my very existence all fueled the feeling of need for more comfort food and less activity.
Of course, my first signs of emotional eating came in Elementary School when the big bully, started to focus her attention on me, shoving me into walls, smacking my head on the water fountain, hitting me with books, all with no reprimanding from teachers. I would go home and cry over a serving of three or four Little Debbie's snack cakes. This particular bully went away after my mom sat me down and got the truth out of me, then proceeded to call the school and mention the word 'law suit'.
But then came other parts of my life with stress and dissapointment that, in emotional eaters like me, seem to set off some sort of part in the brain which commands the body to consume as much unhealthy food as is physically possible.
Throughout High School I tried over and over to lose weight, using Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, everything that I could get my hands on. However, nothing ever worked. The constant talk of 'When you think you're hungry, ask yourself if you really are' backfired over and over again because when I was upset was when I thought I was hungry and, with 'mind over matter' I could hardly tell the difference between upset and starving.
Finally, the second half of my Senior year in High School I decided enough was enough (after walking upstairs became a challenge and my 4 year old cousin pointed at me and said 'you're fat'). I joined a weight loss class and cut my calories, sugar, and fat intake.
Since then I have lost 54 pounds from a top weight of 264. My goal is to reach 145 at this point since that is the high end of healthy for my height. However, as that is a very big goal (almost 120 pounds total) My main goal now is to simply be at 199, below 200 pounds. Which means, at this point, just eleven more to go.
Now that you know my life story as far as weight loss goes, know that, if you're interested in looking at this again, there will be more information to come.
