This time around...
... I will succeed!
I f'd up the last time I started working on me and did not continue to keep up with my weight loss. However, 2009 will be a big change for me. I have realized a lot about myself recently and why I am overweight. It's a difficult realization but I am glad I noticed it.
Maybe some people can relate to me with this one...
My dad has always been a picker and an eater. His side of the family has always been obese. My grandmother was probably 400 or so lbs and my cousins are all above that. It's scary. I never thought much about it as a kid, but once my cousin Chris had gastric bypass surgery it all came together (he was close to 600 lbs I believe).
Anyways, that's not really the root of MY problem. I have always loved food but my father has always picked at my food and whatever I made that looked delish he had to have. He would always take my food from me. He'd grab it if necessary. Granted he was always doing it jokingly but it somehow got to me and I began to hoard the food to myself. I would bring home pizza and hide it or eat the whole thing before he knew I even had it. Now, don't get me wrong. I've always been good with sharing

but this was at a different level.
Not to mention, I can't go into my kitchen without 20 questions. "What are you doing? What are you making? How? Who? What? Why? That's quite a bit. You're going to eat ALL of that? Oh, you brought me pizza..." The more he made comments the more upset I got and the more I'd eat. The more I ate out so he couldn't eat my stuff. Then there was college where I had all the freedom in the world to eat whatever I wanted. Not to mention buffet breakfast lunch and dinner anddd fast food... beer.... liquor... 3 AM pizzas... etc. It was crazy. I really packed on the pounds.
Daddy, here's to you. You messed me up a bit but I am glad I realized why I am the way I am. It's important to me to become aware of myself and what I am going through. I love you and I love you for trying. I will conquer this though and I will let you know when it is all over why I am able to do this now.
So, here comes the problem with dealing with it. I either move out and deal with it on my own or I accept that he likes to eat my food and look at his sharing of my food as a way of reducing my portions. For now, I'll go with the latter because I can't quite afford living on my own right now.
I have begun to eat healthier though and I don't think I will see him picking at my food quite as much since he'd rather pick at the junk food I used to eat.
Anyways! Onward! I have big goals. I am currently at about 246 lbs (lost a few pounds this week). Around Christmas I was at my highest of 250 lbs. I am 22 and 5'6 and my goal weight is between 140-150 lbs. I will be happy with that but ultimately I would like to be about 130 lbs.
- I am going to eat healthier.
[*]I am going to exercise.
[*]I am going to lose this weight.
[*]I am going to do it for me and me only.
[*]I am going to push myself to accomplish my goals.
I am lucky to be surrounded by several people who are supportive of my goals and I am extremely lucky to have been working in the fitness/healthcare industry for several years. I have access to a free gym 24/7 and a wonderful friend and personal trainer who wants to help me achieve my goals and won't charge me a dime to workout with her. My boss and several others I have worked with in the past are also to willing to help at no charge and I am going to take advantage (but not too much that it hurts them) of their offers and train with them as much as possible.
I think that is enough for today... I will keep you guys updated as much as I can with my busy schedule. Photos are coming. I need to work up the nerve to share this bod of mine.
I want to thank everyone for the inspiration though. There are so many people on this forum that I admire. You guys keep me motivated. The before and after pictures get me through each day. You guys have really achieved a lot and should all be so proud that you have the strength to push through and conquer your weight loss journeys.
