Littlebitnorth's Weightloss Diary

Littlebitnorth

Littlebitnorth

New member
Hi there :grouphug:

So I have been here over a month and just found the diary area... sad!
Anyway, this is my first post.

I am kinda excited because I will be over the 200lb mark soon. It seems like it has taken a long time but it really hasn't. I feel like I'm getting my life back. I have become a hermit living out here in on the edge of nowhere. I have become kind of socially backward. I used to be very outspoken and outgoing. But I've become a person who doesn't like being around people.
I think its my weight that has contributed to that.
Now.. when I wake up in the morning..I run my fingers down my stomach and feel the difference. Then I day-dream about how I will feel when it all comes off. How it will feel when I can feel my hip bones and my ribs. How it will feel when my legs dont rub together.
I have always associated happiness with my weight. I day dream about being happy a lot. I can feel it coming.
 
Today up 4oz. which isn't much but I think its because the taco seasoning I put on my chicken last night for supper had lots of sodium in it. The chicken also has salt in it as a preservative. I was just trying to eat what everyone else was eating with a few alterations. Its hard sometimes to make 2 dinners every night especially when the other dinner looks so much better. I am trying to incorporate healthy eating into my hubbys dinner but he is 6'3 and 165lbs and needs a lot more sustantial food than me.
 
hey LBN!
there you are! i see you just started your diary, that's really great!

i wanted to say thanks for the kind words earlier, i guess there'll be good days and bad days....and today i was just having a bad day. you're probably right about it being salt so its probably water retention for now...yesterday i made a stew and added one of those beef cubes to add flavour but they are usually packed with salt so i hardly ever use them, and coincidentally its the one day i've seen an increase. i occupied myself with stuff the whole day to get my mind off it. tomorrow is another day and will keep going strong!

wow, i just read your first post and can identify alot with it. the past two years i also became a hermit, i never wanted to leave the house anymore, i never wanted to see anyone or do anything apart from eat, sleep and watch lots of movies....i was sooo unhappy. but i made my change early this year and have never looked back. even though i haven't changed physically yet, inside i feel like a new person, i'm starting to gain a little confidence everyday because i know i'm taking control of my life now. i have a looong way to go but this time round it's for real and i'm not going to stop untill i'm at a weight i'm happy with.

i'm so glad you started a diary, will be checking in often to see how you're doing. there's a link to my diary on my signature in case you want to have a look, but it's a bit boring for now since i just mostly post my workouts. hopefully as the pounds start falling off i'll start adding some spicy stories to it...lol!

k, all the best xoxo
 
So..finally to the 200lb mark. Maybe tomorrow will be the day!!!
I started something new. I honestly hate walking the same road every day. I stopped walking because some days it bores the living crap outta me! So I started carrying old bread in my pockets to feed the ducks in the river. The river is my halfway point and feeding those ducks is so rewarding that I walk faster to get there.
Ive been watching that Valerie Bertinelli (sp) Wow is that amazing looking at her in her bikini. My big worry is skin. She didn't have that much skin. What about all this skin thats left over when you lose weight. A subject for google.
 
It is very motivating seeing her (Valerie)..did you say there is a special on about her? Is this somethign just in canada?? Hmmm, I would like to see that. Sometimes I play the episodes of biggest loser on my computer screen (that i mounted above my treadmill) and walk the treadmill the whole time they are on. Its very very motivating.......

welcome to the board....
 
Congrats on the 39 lbs you have lost so far! That is such an achievement!

About the extra skin, I think its different for everyone - It depends on age, how elastic-y your skin is, what your skin care regimen is, etc.

I really really hope that mine shrinks back when it's in place. I think its a worry for a lot of us.
 
hey LBN!
thanks for stopping by my diary and your kind words! wow, i see your doing really well too! that new route with the ducks sounds lovely!

i'm assuming the person you mentioned in your post, valerie bertinelli is one of the biggest loser contestants? (i only just recently started watching the show, but here i get the australian version). i got so amazed by what people can do and seeing the fat melt away week by week is so inspiring! as you mention though, at the back of my mind i'm also worried about the loose skin issue, i can only pray that it won't happen. but i think for now we should all keep our eyes on the prize first, that is, loosing weight, and deal with any other issues later, at least that's what i'm doing for now because otherwise i'd get all depressed and stop all my hard work!

i'm now a regular in your diary from now on....till next time xoxo

Littlebitnorth said:
So..finally to the 200lb mark. Maybe tomorrow will be the day!!!
I started something new. I honestly hate walking the same road every day. I stopped walking because some days it bores the living crap outta me! So I started carrying old bread in my pockets to feed the ducks in the river. The river is my halfway point and feeding those ducks is so rewarding that I walk faster to get there.
Ive been watching that Valerie Bertinelli (sp) Wow is that amazing looking at her in her bikini. My big worry is skin. She didn't have that much skin. What about all this skin thats left over when you lose weight. A subject for google.
Click to expand...
 
Hi Guys, lol..I forgot your not just around the corner as I've come to think of you so close.
Valerie Bertinelli used to be a child star on a sitcom called "One day at a Time" Shes around my age.. 47. There is a weightloss group company here in Canada and in the states called Jenny Craig. She became a spokesperson for them. She had 40lbs to lose. She's not very tall so that 40lbs came off and she looks fabulous! (I am secretly so jealous that I have lost around the same amount and I'm not even half way there yet. ugh) Anyway, she makes it seem possible to look good. She looks 20 not in her 40's. I will leave you a link here if I can.
I should watch the Biggest Loser, everyone keeps talking about how motivating it is. I think thats the key..motivation where ever you can get it! You guys do so much for me. I couldnt do it without you all and your goals and stories. Thank you
Here's a few Valerie links
 
OH My Gosh!! I am SO BUMMED!!! Today I thought.. ok I will find a picture of me thats the heaviest I have ever been. That would have been the summer of 2007. I weighed 50lbs heavier. So I got that picture and went and found those clothes (which I hate and cant believe they were still in the drawer) I put them on and took a picture because I wanted to see in a picture if I had really changed that much. OMG!! I didn't look any different. Just longer hair. I have been in the worst mood all day. I didn't want to do my work out but luckily the pain in my back doesn't subside until I do my exercises and forces me to continue on. I didnt eat anything bad because when I get that upset thats the last thing I want to do. I totally lost my appetite. I bit my husbands head off. Everything has been making me crazy today. I can't believe I can lose 50lbs and see no difference. What the hell!!! man!!! All this hard work. Honestly, I feel better. My feet feel better and they used to hurt all the time. I started this because of health reasons and not for my looks. But somehow looks got wrapped all up in it anyway. I just wanted to see a big change. Like a BIG change. 50lbs man!
I'm ranting... I can't stop it.. its all I can think about.
Hopefully I can get this out of my mind.
 
Awww, don't get too discouraged! But I understand how you feel. I'd be bummed out as well. But I know that I probably won't have any DRASTIC differences in my appearance until I have lost 100lbs maybe. It's just that you can't tell your body where you want to lose weight from. Instead it gets a little bit from everywhere, making you lose the 50 lbs, but its not that big of a difference in the mirror because its only a little from each place.

I'm glad you feel better. Just remember that everyday and each pound will eventually take you to the place you want to be, appearance wise and health wise. You apparently already see the benefits health wise, which is awesome!

Another thing you may want to keep in mind, you may see yourself differently than others do. Other people can probably tell a difference if they were to look at the pictures side by side. When we look at pictures of ourselves we tend to nitpick at ourselves, or at least I do. I think that makes it a lot harder to come to any practical conclusion.
 
hey LBN,
aw, i was so sorry to read about the bad day your having! you know what? we all have those but whenever i have mine i just make sure i'm still staying on track. alot of the days i just wish i could wake up thin, but when i open my eyes it's just same ol me in the mirror.

i have this huge suitcase full of some really great stuff i bought 3 yrs ago during my trip to the US, i need to mention that they are all pretty much still brand new because i put weight on so damn fast the past few years. some days when i'm going through a rough patch i try those clothes on and absolutely none can fit and i want to cry, and a few days letter i do the same thing. just a few days ago i decided i'm now going to go 4 full weeks without trying those clothes, and every 4 weeks after that because it was getting me down too much. the only one i've noticed a difference with is this one black dress i tried on in february when i started the journey (by the way i wore it to a wedding 3yrs ago and it fitted perfectly but soon outgrew it), anyway, i was saying this black dress i tried it on in february and it was sooo tight it wouldn't go below my hips, and i tried it on the other day and it now goes below my hips but is really tight.

so for now my progress is the clothes that were super super tight are now super tight :( ...you can imagine that's not the greatest of feelings because i'd like to see them loose not tight....but you know what everyday i go on and as i said i'll now only be trying them on once a month.

i agree with dreamingblue, you've probably lost weight in some places that you can't notice. and since you see yourself in the mirror everyday you wouldn't notice as such. i'd also suggest in addition to the weighing scale (just in case your not already doing so) also use a tape measure to measure inches on your waist and other major body parts and start to write it down every week or 2 weeks. in fact the only reason i started using the tape measure was because i joined one of the forum challenges (the super mega challenge) and i need to log in my stats every week, weight and body measurements....and so far i've lost about 1.5inches on my waist which i'm glad about. but the thing with the tape measure is that sometimes you'll check again and it seems you've increased when you know you havent so it can also be a little frustrating too.

okay i'm sooo sorry i've rambled on and on (i'm horrible at explaining things...lol!), but the point i wanted to try and make is that 50lbs loss is a figure you should be damn proud of and alot of hardwork has gone into that. and just like you say, at the end of the day on the inside you feel happier and you've done your body a world of good because things like body fat levels have definitely decreased, your able to be more active in life without always breaking into a sweat or huffing and puffing etc its those things that matter, knowing your body is getting healthy from the inside out. k, all the best hun. xoxo
Littlebitnorth said:
OH My Gosh!! I am SO BUMMED!!! Today I thought.. ok I will find a picture of me thats the heaviest I have ever been. That would have been the summer of 2007. I weighed 50lbs heavier. So I got that picture and went and found those clothes (which I hate and cant believe they were still in the drawer) I put them on and took a picture because I wanted to see in a picture if I had really changed that much. OMG!! I didn't look any different. Just longer hair. I have been in the worst mood all day. I didn't want to do my work out but luckily the pain in my back doesn't subside until I do my exercises and forces me to continue on. I didnt eat anything bad because when I get that upset thats the last thing I want to do. I totally lost my appetite. I bit my husbands head off. Everything has been making me crazy today. I can't believe I can lose 50lbs and see no difference. What the hell!!! man!!! All this hard work. Honestly, I feel better. My feet feel better and they used to hurt all the time. I started this because of health reasons and not for my looks. But somehow looks got wrapped all up in it anyway. I just wanted to see a big change. Like a BIG change. 50lbs man!
I'm ranting... I can't stop it.. its all I can think about.
Hopefully I can get this out of my mind.
Click to expand...
 
Wow you guys, Cherry and Dream. Thank you for putting that all in perspective. What you said makes a lot of sense. I have been measuring with my tape and at first the inches just fell off. Now not so much. Maybe I have a lot of fat around my organs, lol. My tape measure says Ive lost 6 inches off my waist but the pictures say no. But like you said Dream, maybe its because its me looking and we are so critical of ourselves.
Cherry.. I completely understand about the clothing. I have a bundle of clothes in a box. It will be a while before I even dare to try them on. Just think though.. you said it was super super tight...and now only super tight..and you can see a difference. That is amazing!
I absolutely hate shopping for clothes. I get so disappointed. My jeans are so baggy right now and I dont want to go buy another pair because it will be disappointing. Sure..a size smaller but why is it I always pull out something a size 10? I dont think a size 10 would go over my thighs. I always see the clothes a smaller size...pick out the one my size and I look horrible. I need someone to shop for me, lol. I cant put clothes together.
I swear, men never have this problem!
Anyway... you guys made me feel better. If I get brave enough I'll post my pictures, then you guys look...ugh. I'm pretty sure its hard to find the missing pounds. =)
 
So its been really busy around here with the cattle. I think its working off some lbs.
Today I just realized, I'm never going to see 200 again. No way it can pop up to that over water gain. So thats it...Goodbye rotten friend 200lbs. Hehehehehe
Jeans are baggy..bra's too big.. I can pull my jeans off without even unzipping them. I have lost 2inches off my neck. I never knew my neck was fat. LOL. I need new everything. But I think I will buy it at the 2nd hand store because I'm not gonna stay long here. I think I can do this! One more pound and my Wii Fit wont be saying "Your Obese" anymore. I wonder what that sounds like when I'm not obese. Silly goal...but its the small things that get you there!
 
LBN,
you know every time I go shopping I get a little bit upset. BW (before weightloss) it was a torture. I barely ever went shopping, I lived in London and in 4 years there I did not shop for clothes even once! When I'd go to visit my mom she would take me clothes shopping, she is skinny and loves it, my sister is a size 0 (or maybe 2) and she loves it even more. I would go, try stuff on and then cry in the dressing booth. Sometimes even the largest clothes would not fit me (I was not that heavy, my highest was 160 pounds, but I have a tiny frame and in Spain 44 is usually the biggest you can find which is a UK 14, a US 10 I think. Ridiculous!), I always looked like a sausage when they did fit me and sometimes I would even give up before shopping. Just peeking at all the size 34 and 36s made my eyes water.
Now I weigh under 130 pounds and although shopping has become bearable, I still have low points. I try stuff on without my family in the same booth because if it doesn't fit I will be embarrassed. I refuse to buy trousers I like if they do not fit me in the size I want them to fit.
I am absolutely sure it is visible that you have lost 50 pounds! I have days when I feel like a whale and I just know I am still as fat as in my fattest days. The scale is just joking with me. But then I have days when I feel svelte like a fairy! My goal (apart from the weight loss of course) is too feel like that every day! For a lot of people I am already thin, but for me I am not yet. And I am sure the same goes for you. I lost weight on odd places like my back... (who'd have thunk my back was fat??), my neck, my wrists... and still have a very pronounced muffin top.

But instead of getting upset you have to be positive and think, well in 50 more pounds those clothes will look like crap! I am gonna show those trousers who is skinny here!

Have a great week, Camy
 
wow! that was a really nice positive post...it's always sooo good to hear of other peoples successes, it's so inspiring! and it must feel great saying goodbye to the 200's too! and the clothes being loose too! and nope...it's not a silly goal at all, that is, wanting your wii fit to no longer say your obese, i wonder what that feels like...someday i'll know. your doing great LBN! let's all just keep on truckin because we'll surely get to where we want to be. xoxo

Littlebitnorth said:
So its been really busy around here with the cattle. I think its working off some lbs.
Today I just realized, I'm never going to see 200 again. No way it can pop up to that over water gain. So thats it...Goodbye rotten friend 200lbs. Hehehehehe
Jeans are baggy..bra's too big.. I can pull my jeans off without even unzipping them. I have lost 2inches off my neck. I never knew my neck was fat. LOL. I need new everything. But I think I will buy it at the 2nd hand store because I'm not gonna stay long here. I think I can do this! One more pound and my Wii Fit wont be saying "Your Obese" anymore. I wonder what that sounds like when I'm not obese. Silly goal...but its the small things that get you there!
Click to expand...
 
WOw Camy and Cherry, Its so good to have friends like you. Camy I totally know where your coming from when you say inside you still feel big. I am a tad smaller in certain areas and it shocks me sometimes when I run my fingers over my collar bone...and I can actually feel my collar bone!! Its like... HONEY! I CAN FEEL MY COLLAR BONE!!. He rolls his eyes and says...you said that yesterday. But its like a shock every time I feel it. LOL.
Cherry..You are making it! I love watching your numbers go down. I look every day. We are doing this!! We are!!!!
Anyway..thanks you guys for posting. Its so nice to be among friends =)
 
I am with you with the collar bone! And wait until your shoulder bone is visible! Or the hip bone!!! The hip bone is my favourite bone and it is still onnly visible when I lie down, but soon soon soon, everyone will be able to see my beautiful hip bone!!

Thank you for your visit in my diary, have a wonderful day, Camy
 
Haha Camy. I know what your saying. I run my fingers over my stomach every night feeling if there is any difference.
I just realized..4 more lbs and I'll be half way. (If my math is correct) WOW!! Ok..that was motivation! Half way....half way there. I can do it!
I called a gym yesterday in Utah and asked about a 2 week membership. They said yes. What a treat! I live in a very rural area. There isn't a gym for miles around so to be able to go on my holiday and work out in a gym is a real treat!! Lots of equipment. Its going to be like an amusement park. hehehe.. Excited!
 
heya,
just wanted to wish you all the best on your trip...glad to hear you've already found a gym that you'll sign up to! there's no stopping you! :hurray: xoxo
 
Thanks Cherry =) Good luck while I'm gone but I think I will be back checking you while I'm down there. Especially when I need a boost. Your always so motivating to me with your hard work.
My day yesterday was a whirlwind. When I left yesterday morning it just kept getting busier. I got some really good news at the physio though. I dont have to go back until I see a specialist. He said I was doing great on my own. That was great news! Then I went to find new jeans. First place I went the jeans were 150.00! I about died! Sales woman was really pushy and it put me off. Really nice things in that store but I didn't see spending that much to wear something that might only fit for a couple of months. I just wanted 1 good pair that fit. (I was a little scared to try on sizes too with a snooty skinny bitch, LOL)
So I pretty much gave up already depressed about the situation. Then I tried one more place. This little lady came to help me. Again..I was about to run out of there but I found this pair of light blue jeans. I mean..they looked sexy and had all the requirements- No flaps on the pockets, no pleats or other crap, Just plain jeans. These had skinny tight looking legs and a small flare at the bottom. Reminded me of high school. You know..good ole 70s. They were so faded they didn't look new at all. PERFECT! So I Grabbed a size. She brought me another pair..new jeans looked and I went into the dressing room. I put on the faded and came out. These were 34s and I thought I was pushing it but they weren't tight. I came out and she said..TO BIG! and went and got a smaller size. 33's. I came out and she said TO BIG! I was like..No Way! She Brought back a 32 and they were snug. I mean..these jeans hug! I came out and she said...Thats it! YOu have a cute bum! LOL.. I was laughing. I said...are you talking to me? She said..Yes..Not everyone can pull off that faded jean but your legs are so long it gives you a really cute bum. She said.. You better be careful when you go outside in those jeans. Anyway..I know I'm large anyway, not like a model. I can't believe she said all that. I came out of there feeling like a milllion...No 10 million bucks! and a size 32!! WQOOT! I'm definatly a return customer. What a schmoozer!!
 
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