Little_star's diary

Wedsday 05.08.2009

Weight: 64.8 (-200 gr)

Food
Breakfast:Milk&Coffee + 2 toasted bread (200 kcal)
Sneak:
Lunch:Meat + Cheese + Green Salad + Peach (550 kcal)
Sneak:
Dinner:
Tot kcal:

Exercise:
 
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Hey Little Star!!
I usually weigh more during my period - I don't know the technical reason for this, but I think it has to do with retaining more water.
Don't beat yourself up when you don't stick to your healthy eating plan 100%, however if you're going out for dinner or going to a party or something, decide beforehand what you are going to "cheat" with. For example if you're going to a birthday party you may decide that you want to have a slice of pizza and a bit of cake. Then everything else that day has to be healthy eating. That way you don't get there, and gorge 3 pieces of pizza and 2 slices of cake. Planning ahead means you didn't "fail" you just made an allowance for a special occasion :) Also - make sure you're not like me, and make everything a special occasion. Lunch with friends can be healthy choices! Once you've gone about a week or two without eating any deep fried garbage or whatever it is you love (I love the deep fried stuff), your body will stop craving it, and you won't WANT to eat it. So give it up cold turkey for 2 weeks and then see how you feel when you go out with friends :)
Nicole:seeya::seeya:
 
I refused to weight myself again after some days. I know I ate as a pig the past days so...just not to get depressed I'm not going to weight myself for this week. But i'm back on truck.

Monday 10.08.2008

Food
Breakfast: milk&coffie (100 Kcal)
Lunch: bread + Tuna (450 Kcal)
Dinner:

Total:
 
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Tuesday 11.08.2008

Food
Breakfast: milk&coffie (100 Kcal)
Lunch:bread + mozzarella cheese + peach (500 kcal)
Dinner: 3Tacos with meat and green salad (about...600 kcal)

Total:1200 kcal
 
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Wednesday 12.08.2008

Weight: 65.6 (+1.200)

Food
Breakfast: milk&coffie (100 Kcal)
Lunch:
Dinner:

Total:

I just wonder why I cannot be on diet for more than 2 weeks. I'm tired. I'm tired of myself and I'm tired of me taking care not seriously. Uff! I wanted to be "perfect" for the move, but maybe it is not going to happen. I know I would be much happier with a skinnier body, I would finally be happy of myself...I know it. Even reaching 60 would be a great result for me...but I'm too weak maybe...uff.
I just wonder...I know with 5 or 10 kgs less I would be happier, proud and sotisfated with myself...then why it's so hard to stay 1 or 2 months on strict diet? UFFFF!
 
Demotivated, depressed, self esteem very low, feel useless and helpfull.
What's mainly how I feel at the moment. And it's not all about the diet and stuff. (actually without doing any died I discovered this morning to I losed 7 kgr since last time I weighted myself)
It's because I have nothing to do...I just graduated, just would need to find a job, right? But there is no sense in finding a job now from where I live if I'm moving away soon. In 3 weeks, right?
I have tryed to look for jobs in the city I'm moving, but everywhere seems they need so high qualificated people and I just feel...a failure. I have studied so much for nothing. All these years of stress on books just didn't help me with finding a job in the place I want to live in.
:(
In the meanwhile my sister is coming back in 5 days and living with her will increase my low-esteem. She is so smart, she is a positive person, she is so strong,she has a good job and...even if I miss her like hell I think I'm going to hate her. Because she is so perfect. Because I'm not like her.

Anyway, here are the details of today:

Monday 17.08.2008

Weight: 65.0 (-600)

Food
Breakfast: milk&coffie (100 Kcal)
Lunch:
Dinner:

Total:
 
Tueday 17.08.2008

Weight: 64.8 (-200)

Food
Breakfast: milk&coffie (100 Kcal)
Lunch: Green Salad + Tunna
Dinner: Green Salad + Tunna + Milk
 
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Tueday 18.08.2008

Weight: 65.0 (+ 200) arghhhh!

Food
Breakfast: milk&coffie (100 Kcal)
Lunch:
Dinner:
__________________
 
Tomorrow I'm starting again.
And tomorrow will be the time of my final diet. I wanna lose 15 kgs no matter what. I'll give up only when I'll be 50 Kgs.
That's a promise!
 
As I said, today is a new beginning, not just for the diet.
I wanna be in general positive, I wanna put myself in things I do, I wanna be special. I want to be what I wanted to be for a long time.

Monday 31 August 2009

Weight: 66.4

Food
Breakfast: Soyamilk (50 kcal)
Lunch: Pasta + Tomato + Ham ( 600 kcal)
Dinner: bread + tunna + soyamilk (500 kcal)
TOT: 1150 kcal.

I don't want to eat more than 1200 Kcal per day. Possibly 1000. At least for the first month. I wanna do very strict diet on the first month, so to lose 1 kilo per week. I am really tired of being over 60. In october I will slow down trying to lose 1 kilo every other week, but now... right now I need to push myself because I know that seeing 50somthing on the scale will motivate me more.
Plus I really cannot join any activities in september because I'm leaving at the end of the month and doesn't really make sense to go to the gym (and pay for it) just for 3 weeks. Plus I know I'll be damn busy with moving to an other country... so eating less would be ok, since I cannot do any appropriate activity.
This is the time to become perfect!
 
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Tusday 1 September 2009

Weight: 65.3 Kg (-1.100)

Food
Breakfast: Soyamilk (50 kcal)
Lunch: Bread and Tunna (500 kcal).
Dinner: Ham + soyabread + tomato + Risotto + Meat + icecream (1000 kcal)
TOT: 1500 kcal.
 
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I KNEW IT!
It's my second day of diet and... my aunt invited my family and me at her place for dinner.
Now, maybe I have mentionated that also earlier, she always cook SO MUCH, with so much oil and butter, and salt and everything. I cannot really avoid going there, but I'll try to eat as less as I can. And I'll have really light lunch to compare. Maybe just tuna and bread.
:biggrinjester:
And since my sister is thinking of joing the gym... maybe I wanna go there too... but only if it' not expencive (which means less than 40 euros 1 month), since I know I'm going to attend less than 20 days.
What else?
Well, ok, totally random stuff. Like I got presents from my boyfriend and best friend from Finland. They are always so sweet <3 Just love them so much.
 
Wednsday 2 September 2009

Weight: 66.0 Kg (+700)

Food
Breakfast: Soyamilk (50 kcal)
Lunch: Soup + fish (350 kcal)
Dinner: Boiled Veg + sausages (500 kcal)
TOT: 900 kcal

So, as I said yesterday I went to my aunt for dinner, and as always we ate A LOT. It's really something you cannot avoid when she invites your for dinner. Anyway, I tryed to figure out how much I ate. The thing is that I didn't eat a bit amount of anything, but there were too many things. I noted as 1000 kcal, but I feel they were much more. Anyway this morning is not that bad. 700 grs more. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be back on 65 something.
 
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I think yesterday I ate a bit too less... well :) Today the scale didn't give a bad news, so... a bit hungry but Happy!

Torsday 3 September 2009

Weight: 65.3 (-700 gr)

Food
Breakfast: Soyamilk (50 Kcal)
Lunch:pasta with tomato sauce + Salmiakki (and I hate myself for this) (700 kcal)
Dinner: Veg balls + Salmiakki T__T (700 kcal)
Total: 1450 kcal
 
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Friday 4 September 2009

weight: 65.0 (-300)

Food
Breakfast: Soyamilk (50 kcal)
Lunch: Pasta with Tomato Sauce (700 Kcal)
Dinner: Ham + Cheese (700 kcal)
Total: 1450 kcal.

Today NO SALMIAKKI! No candy, nothing but healty food! :D
Actually I am happy I didn't gain any weight, but I still losed some. I think if I accidentally would get some weight at the really beginning (even if it is just water or something) I would get really demotivated. That is why I ate only vegetables for differ. Somehow I "compensated" all the candies. But I promise it will never happen again. :ack2:
 
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Saturday 5 September 2009

weight: 65.5 (+500)

Food
Breakfast: Soyamilk + bread (100 kcal)
Lunch:
Dinner:
Total:
 
Tusday 8 September 2009

weight: Haven't checked

Food
Breakfast: Soyamilk + bread (100 kcal)
Lunch:Vegetables + Pasta
Dinner: Chicken
Total:1500 Kcal
 
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