Little to no help or support at home...please help

Xkwizit

Xkwizit

New member
Hello there, I am new here and I have posted a breif intro...and I am trying my best to get motivated to start getting back into shape and being healthy. I guess I am motivated to an extent..because I am here and I am seeking help! My biggest problem is that I dont have a great support system at home. Both my husband and I have gained quite a bit of weight over the past few years, I have also had a baby in those few years which obviously makes it harder to lose weight....
But my husband just doesnt seem to get it..his thought process is...tomorrow we will try.. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes and it just goes on and on like that. We have both gotten so bad that I dont recognize either of us...its so sad and I hate this. 3 years ago I was doing some modeling and now I wont even let anyone take my picture.
All that aside, aside from the fact that my husband seems that he will never try to lose weight...fine, but how do I go about being serious about it while he is eating bad foods and fried foods for dinner and eating out. How to you control yourself while everyone else does what they want. This is a hard road for me anyway, because i have suffered my whole life with a Binge eating disorder...And I dont know if I will ever overcome that with out the help and support of my family...but I can control it sometimes...But I sure have no idea how to seriously lose weight, (I have probably 60-70 lbs to lose) when I am so alone...I guiess in a way that is why I am here, to meet other people who can help me and vise versa...but any suggestions for me?
 
Suggestions?
Spend time reading the stickied threads.. there's a lot of valuable information that you can take with you for the rest of your life -not to mention helping to educate your child on a lifestyle of healthy eating and exercise...

Losing weight isn't hard.... Ditching the diet mindset is a challenge but can be overcome.

Start reading the stickied threads in nutrition, then move on to on topic and exericse and after reading - follow up with what you don't understand

And start a diary below -it' helps to keep all your thoughts in one place
 
maleficent said:
Suggestions?
Spend time reading the stickied threads.. there's a lot of valuable information that you can take with you for the rest of your life -not to mention helping to educate your child on a lifestyle of healthy eating and exercise...

Losing weight isn't hard.... Ditching the diet mindset is a challenge but can be overcome.

Start reading the stickied threads in nutrition, then move on to on topic and exericse and after reading - follow up with what you don't understand

And start a diary below -it' helps to keep all your thoughts in one place
Click to expand...

Thank you so much for your post, I was beginning to think that I was invisible..lol...I was posting and posting and no one was replying. I seem to be the kid of person that needs help from others with weight loss only...it seems I do everything else on my own but this is a hrd thing for me. So I appreciate your time. I will definitely do that, I have been reading a lot on here and finding some interesting information! Thanks again
 
i dont recieve alot of support from my family either >.>
but they dont understand, my brother and sister eat what they want and remain slim.
btw. i also have a great deal of weight to lose. perhaps we can do it together^^
 
AngelicaHope said:
i dont recieve alot of support from my family either >.>
but they dont understand, my brother and sister eat what they want and remain slim.
btw. i also have a great deal of weight to lose. perhaps we can do it together^^
Click to expand...

Thats a really good idea! If you cant get the support at home, get the support here!!

I am very fortunate to have my partner supporting me, and me her..but I often have to be the 'stronger' of the 2, and thats made me realise that I could have done this by myself If I had too (honestly, sometimes I think it would have been easier to go it alone!!!)

Have you sat down with your husband and told him truthfully how you feel?
He might think that this is just another 'attempt', and what you need to show him is that this is it!!!

Once you show that your being strong, and doing well, he'll hopefully join you!!

Keep your goals in mind, work hard, you wont care what he's eating, because you will feel so much better, you wont want to eat like he does!!!

Good luck, hope it works out for you!!

:seeya:
 
AngelicaHope said:
i dont recieve alot of support from my family either >.>
but they dont understand, my brother and sister eat what they want and remain slim.
btw. i also have a great deal of weight to lose. perhaps we can do it together^^
Click to expand...

Well I think that is a great idea...I feel that I always do better when I have someone there who is expecting me to do it, like i am letting someone else down you know? make sense? Only when it comes to weight loss though, its weird, but whatever..it helps me out:) haha
 
SyNyStEr14 said:
Thats a really good idea! If you cant get the support at home, get the support here!!

I am very fortunate to have my partner supporting me, and me her..but I often have to be the 'stronger' of the 2, and thats made me realise that I could have done this by myself If I had too (honestly, sometimes I think it would have been easier to go it alone!!!)

Have you sat down with your husband and told him truthfully how you feel?
He might think that this is just another 'attempt', and what you need to show him is that this is it!!!

Once you show that your being strong, and doing well, he'll hopefully join you!!

Keep your goals in mind, work hard, you wont care what he's eating, because you will feel so much better, you wont want to eat like he does!!!

Good luck, hope it works out for you!!

:seeya:
Click to expand...

Yes I have tried talking to him numerous times, all with no real luck. If I lived alone and was not married I could probably do pretty well on my own, bc i would controll all of what is bought or cooked...so I will do my best with out him and with the help of all you nice people here, hopefully I can show him that this tiem is for real:) thank you!
 
AngelicaHope said:
i dont recieve alot of support from my family either >.>
but they dont understand, my brother and sister eat what they want and remain slim.
btw. i also have a great deal of weight to lose. perhaps we can do it together^^
Click to expand...

Hey, just wanted to say that I totally know how you feel about this! My roommates/friends are all very thin, and eat without bounds. They get very mad at me when they see me restricting foods ("No thanks, I think i'll pass on eating scalloped potatoes at 10 pm with you..."). It's very frustrating when you feel like you're finally trying to do something good for yourself and it seems like your friends/siblings/significant others are shitting on you for it. The truth is, once you finally DO lose all that weight and look smoking hot, They'll be the ones who most often tell you how incredible you look!

Just tell yourself: They just can't envision what you can right now. But they will!

Good luck to everyone, even if you can't motivate someone else to change WITH you, do it for yourself! They will follow when they see how strong you are :)
 
well we have the same problem different story.my fiance is very fortunate in the great body department (lucky son of a bitch) he has a very fast metabolism and on top of that has become a huge weightlifiting addict. we constantly eat out and due to his extremly high motabolism he doenst have to worry about what goes into his mouth for the simple fact that in the end he will burn it off.. he gets to eat whatever he wants and doesnt gain an ounce?? not fair...arrgh!!! im constantly giving up on my exercise and dieting because i get so frustrated. but i have put myself in a new state of mind and this is it ... i'm the only one who can lose my weight, i gained it, i can take it off.. i am responsible for me, i have to push myself if i want it i can acheive it!!- THE MIND IS EVERYTHING. WHAT YOU THINK YOU BECOME!!!! - as hard as it gets and how tempting food can be i need to look past it, the fact that i would rather lie on the couch than go to the gym is something only i can change.

with all of this said so far i have lost about 40 lbs and have a ways to go. Soooo to make a long story short (to late) advice i can offer to you is to keep your chin up and remember that it is really hard but dont give up cause in the end it is a battle between you and yourself. and who know U MIGHT EVEN MOTIVATE YOUR HUSBAND!!!
 
I was in the same situation for a while, and still am to a certain degree. My husband still eats whatever he wants to, and actually complains because there are certain things I simply refuse to buy. In the beginning it bothered me, but now it makes things actually easier for me....I watch him stuff all that food into his face and then ask myself if I want to be like that....and the answer is a big, determined NO. So I just leave him to it, and have my salad, and enjoy dropping the pounds.

You need to be determined, and show everybody that you can do it, all by yourself if you have to. That's the mindset I have at the moment, and so far I lost nearly 60 lbs, and still going strong. And you can do it as well! :)
 
Well thank y ou all for your replies, it makes me happy to know that other people have tro deal with this too and I am not alone, however I wish no one really had to deal with it. My husband...well...he pretty much eats whatever he wants and does not stay slim. He has gained probably more weight than me...
Now my main reason for wanting him to join me on the weight loss journey is not because he is heavy. I love him regardless..But I worry abotu his health, he just lost his father due to poor health, and his father was very heavy! Bbut also, I have a really hard time saying no to food. It is something I am sure I will over come in time, but for now, its extremely difficult. So when my husband who doesnt care abotu how he looks, is stuffing his face with food, he shares. Which is very nice of him, but he shares even when he knows I really am trying to lose weight. So that is what makes this so difficult. Its one thing for him to be eating it in front of me, which i need to learn to deal with that. But it is another thing when he keeps giving me that food too. and saying, come on...one time wont hurt you! The I fall back into my old ways and he will get mad at me later when I say I need to lose weight. He says, you always say that and never do anything about it...Um well..YOU ARE NOT HELPING ME!!!! stop giving me food!
Yes I know I know I could say no...and I am working on that. it is not entirely his fault. But knowing how much i want this..you would think he would be supporting me and not offering me cookies or ice cream.

But so far I have been motivated just by seeing the posts you all have posted, and reading your stories and see your progress. I mean this is really only my first day really trying this again...so I have a long way to go and I havent lost anything yet. But I have been sucessful in the past, so I know I can do it again, I just need to keep it off this time!

Anyone have before and after pics to show? I love seeing pictures of how people are doing. I just posted a bunch of pics of how I looked 2-3 years ago when I was a lil heavy but very happy with my weight..for the most part...and then i posted pics of me recently..I need to keep looking at them to see just how much i have gained and to remind me that it is possible for me to get to where I was..again. But this time I have set a goal weight of lower then I have been in years. I can do it:)
 
There a thousands of pics in the "Before, After and In Between" section, incredible inspiration.

About saying no: try to make it a reflex action. "No thankyou" anytime someone offers you anything. You're just accustomed to always accepting food from people, but if you start with the "no" first, without even considering the food, it's SO much easier!
 
tinysara said:
There a thousands of pics in the "Before, After and In Between" section, incredible inspiration.

About saying no: try to make it a reflex action. "No thankyou" anytime someone offers you anything. You're just accustomed to always accepting food from people, but if you start with the "no" first, without even considering the food, it's SO much easier!
Click to expand...

Thanks for the info, I started this site yesterday but I havent quite figured it all out yet. There is so much to see, I am sure it will take some time.

As for saying no...I know what you mean, I am working on it but just had another serious talk with my husband. So hopefully he gets it now..lol...But when I am home now I try to keep myself busy with other things and trying to go to bed earlier...so we will see how it goes;)
 
u know what they say about misery loving company?? maybe the issue is stemming from your husbands eating habits. Its much easier for your husband to have someone living unhealthy along side with him then to go it alone. As hard as it is if you really really want it you have to have the strength to say no thanks. First and foremost you have to get healthy for yourself than hopefully your husband will follow in your footprints and most importantly you want your kids to grow up with healthy eatin habits so they dont repeat the cycle.
 
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