Lisa's Journal

Long week...

Wow, i really havent written on here in a while. I started doing badly while I was at home. Something happened to me and I ended up using food as a comfort for the rest of the week. I think I have it under control now because I finally told someone what had happened and that took a huge burden off me. I kept it in for a week because I thought I couldnt tell anyone, but I ended up telling my best friend after sitting there shaking in fear for 2 hours. But I feel somewhat better, and I think I understand what happened better which will help me cope. Sorry for the vagueness. I know I cant describe on here what happened to me, at least not publicly in my journal, but I wanted to address emotional eating, because it was VERY powerful. I wanted soft, chewy, buttery things. It wasnt like a craving, it was more like I would see something and just have this longing for it and once I ate it, I would just want more and more. It did help me feel better in a way, but I know I need to learn other ways to deal. Today was my first day back from Spring Break and I went back to my usual diet pretty easily, and so far the longings for those comforting foods havent been toooo strong. Although at lunch today they did have macaroni and cheese which was realllly tempting, but I managed to resist. Does anyone have any tips for avoiding emotional eating? I know I am doing okay now, but this is something that will probably plague me for a while as I continue to deal with the situation.

I ate out a LOT though since all my friends work at restaurants. But I usually would only eat one meal a day, so hopefully that kept me from eating TOO many calories. I actually weighed myself this morning just to see what kind of damage I had done and the scale said I actually lost 3.7lbs since the 14th. I am also hoping I have a lot of water weight on me right now since I ate out so much and had a lot of salt. So hopefully by my weigh in on Wednesday the water weight will have come off and maybe I will have a pleasant surprise of how much I have lost in the last 2 weeks. I cant believe I only have 6 1/2 weeks of school left. That is crazy. And my trip to Scotland is getting close! only 5 months left!!! I really need to get away from it all for a while, and I'm hoping Scotland will allow me to do that.
 
emotional eating is a huge issue for so many of us.. Im glad you had someone that you felt comfortable enough to share whateve was bothering you- better to get it out than to keep i tin and let it fester...

best tip I've found for emotional eating - in my paper journal -- that no one sees but me - i write down my moods when ever i eat something and it helps to get a handle on why i'm eating -if it's anything but actual hunger I'll think twice about it and i still force myself to record everything -it just helps keep mehonest.. I don't have great days everyday but it helps...

Getting away from home is a good thing - but running away from it isn't good for you long term - if there are some issues that need to be addressed thatmake you want to leave - try to face them before you go - scotland, I hope, will be an amazing experience for you - i'd love for you to enjoy if fully and not have something on your mind as you embark on this new chapter of your life.. .

Doors always open if you want a non-parental total busybody old lady ear to listen to you :)
 
Thanks so much for the support. I think I am going to try for a while to just be self-aware of why I am eating and what I am thinking of when I am eating. At dinner I had the urge for comforting carbs like macaroni and cereal, but I recognized that, and was able to resist.

I dont think I am wanting to run away by going to Scotland, but its in interesting thought that I will have to think about. The issues I am dealing with are either long-term issues that it will be nice to have a break from or they are something that I cant really do anything about, other than move on.

I do feel good about today though. I went back pretty easily to how I was eating before. I am going to write out what I ate more for my sake than anything else. But I really am going to try to write in here more often about stuff other than my list of foods for the day.

Breakfast: Zone Bar- 210 calories
Lunch: pinto beans, spinach, and green beans- approx. 350 calories
Snack: Kashi cookie- 130 calories
Dinner: Whole wheat pasta with mushrooms and a little bit of parmigan cheeese (gosh i cant spell that word lol). A salad with vinegar and green olives and a banana- total approx. 550 calories
Total: 1240 calories but I will probably have an orange and some rice crisps later bringing the total up to about 1400 calories.
 
I have done pretty well today. I got to sleep in cause my only class for the day was cancelled, so I didnt have breakfast. I also got these new Hostess 100 calorie packs which are AMAZING lol and they will help when I have a craving for something sweet and moist and yummy and they will also help if I need a little comfort food for emotional eating. I will just have to make sure that I only eat 1 pack, or else the purpose will be defeated.

Breakfast: None
Lunch: salad with vinegar and green olives and bean soup w/ 6 saltines- Approx. 350 calories
Snack: apple and 100 calorie pack- approx. 200 calories

I have been feeling really lethargic lately and weaker than usual. I know I am losing some muscle as I lose weight, but I feel so lethargic, like I could sleep for 15 hours a day. I forgot to take B-12 while I was home for Spring Break, so that could have something to do with it. I will see over the next week or so after I start taking B-12 again whether I feel better.
 
/me resists scolding about missing breakfast..

oh screw it :)

now missy - you wouldnt start a car up and expect it to run unless you had gas in the tank - your body needs to have some fuel for it to run as well - don't skip breakfast...

lecture over.. :)
 
Dinner: bowl of bean soup and bowl of cereal with skim milk (mixed raisin bran with frosted flakes) approx. 500 calories

Total for day: 1050 calories but I will probably snack on an orange and some rice crisps during American Idol (lol I admit, I watch it religiously)
 
I forgot, tomorrow is my weigh in day. I dont expect it to be a big number since I cheated so much over Spring Break, but it would be a nice surprise if it was 4+lbs. Maybe my weight on this new scale will finally catch up with my ticker since my other scale was about 7lbs lighter than this new one.
 
I weighed in this morning and it was 249.8. So that is 3.9lbs less than 2 weeks ago. Its not a huge loss, but its a lot more than I expected after eating all that food over Spring Break.
 
Thanks :) I am aiming for 3lbs a week for the next few weeks.

Breakfast: 9 almonds and a Zone Bar- 270 calories
Lunch: Burrito with black beans, lettuce, a little cheese, and salsa. Also a 3 sweet pickles and 3 carrots with a little lite ranch. I was hungry at lunch today. Approx. calories: 500 calories
Snack: Hostess 100 calorie pack
Total thus far: 870 calories- this is a lot more than I usually have had at this time of day. I will have a light dinner tonight.
 
Dinner: bowl of bean soup and bowl of cereal (mix of raisin bran and frosted flakes) approx. calories- 500 I know this meal is lacking in vegetables, but they really didnt offer much at the cafeteria today and I just was NOT in the mood for a salad.
Total calories for day: 1370 calories

Tomorrow I am going to start working out again. I hope that will help me with my feeling lethargic, though I did feel a little better today, so maybe the getting back on B-12 is helping.
 
I'm so confused, I could have sworn I wrote in what I have eaten so far today. Lol, I hope I didnt get confused and write it in someone elses diary!!! let me know if I did lol. Oh well, I guess I will just write it in again.

Breakfast: Zone Bar (200 calories- they used to be 210, but they re-did them and now they are 200)
Lunch: Wheat kaiser role with a little bit of beans, squash, and broccoli (approx. 400 calories)
Snack: Hostess 100 calorie pack and 5 mini chocolate bars- I had a big sweet tooth today lol and at my work study there was soooo much junk food to binge on, but I just stuck to the mini chocolate bars. I'm not sure how many calories they have each, I am going to guess around 30??? So, that puts my snacks at 250 calories.
Calories thus far today: 850 calories


I have realized that I have a problem with weighing myself too much. It has become an obsession. This morning I tried soooo hard not to, but I ended up pulling it out anyways. I have the scale actually up on my top shelf of my closet, but I still pull it out every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I need to stop!!!! its depressing not seeing the numbers move, or sometimes go up, so I need to just weigh myself once a week.
 
thats the experiment i'm trying for the next month - as long as I know I'm dooing what I'm supposed to be doing - no scale for me -and I'm not gonna stress over it -I'll feel the changes in my clothes... :) least I hope anyhow :)
 
Yeah I need to just force myself to not do it. I am going to weigh myself tomorrow for the Taxing Challenge, but after that I am going to try my HARDEST not to pull it out until next Wednesday.

Tonight for dinner I went a little crazy. Not too crazy, but definitely more bad food than I usually eat. Overall for the day, though, I am pretty sure I stayed under 1800 calories which should just let me maintain my weight, not lose or gain.
 
I just weighed myself this morning for the Taxing Challenge and I am up to 250.2lbs. I think its cause of what I ate yesterday (a lot more sweets and salt than usual). I dont think I am going to get the Hostess 100 calorie packs anymore cause they are too tempting and I think they spike my blood sugar so then I crave other sweet things. Oh well, today is a new day. I am going to start working out again today. No more excuses.
 
Breakfast: Zone bar- 200 calories
Lunch: ranch style beans, 2 cooked carrots (they were gross lol), a little lettuce with red wine vinegar and a 100 calorie Hostess pack- approx. calories- 350 calories
Calories thus far: 550 calories

I am going to work out in about 20 minutes (I have to let my food digest cause I just ate lol). I am going to try and do resistance machines for about 20 minutes and then do cardio for 45 minutes. I will get back up to an hour doing cardio soon, but since I havent done it in 2 weeks, I dont want to push myself to far. I want to get up to being able to do the elliptical for a full hour, right now I can do it for 30 minutes and then I get really tired. the gym at my school also only has a few resistance machines that I know how to use. There are other ones that the guys use, but I am too intimidated to go up and read the thing on the machine that explains how to use it. I'm afraid of how much of an idiot I would look like lol. Thats one reason I cant wait til this summer where I can go to a big 24 hour gym where there are lots of machines and I wont know anyone there so I wont feel stupid reading the machines lol.
 
Hi!

Just wanted to say Hi!

Good luck with the team challenge. Here's hoping we actually do become bikini babes by the end of it! :)
 
Hi MoonGodess! I am just hoping to be able to get into some shorts for the summer. I think last summer I may have worn shorts once! and I live in Houston Texas lol. My legs have always been the thing I am most self conscious about.

I just got back from the gym and I did 20 minutes of resistance training (4 machines) and I did 30 minutes on the elliptical (350 calories) So I am pretty happy with today. I cant believe its only 1:30, today has felt sooo long.
 
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