I wanted to leave an update
I guess I started this diary in 2009? That was three years ago....
Anyway, I ended up gaining a bit of weight sometime... Maybe I had gained and lost even before 2009, or something, and I never admitted, but I should say my highest weight was 197.
But I started working out really seriously recently, and also getting busy with music and various activities, and then when I eat, I don't panic. I don't scold myself. I eat whatever I want. I just ate five or six pieces of chocolate, you know, those balls of chocolate that you have to crack on the counter and you get slices kind of like an orange? and an entire tray of Qiueen Anne Cordial Cherries. And now I'm satisfied for chocolate, and I'll go upstairs and eat salad with dressing and sunflower seeds and cheddar cheese, and possibly some toast or boiled and salted vegetables. Eggs sound good too. I'm able to eat anything I want because I'm a wild sort of person... I work out by dancing in front of my TV with my favorite music going, or by stretching a lot, or by jogging, or running around the house cleaning.
I eat healthy most often though, because it tastes better and makes my stomach feel happier. Working out makes you want to eat healthier since you're already in pain in the first place, the food you eat doesn't really matter too much. Since you're starving.
I reached my weight loss present today!! I have more to go, but today I weigh 168!!! Three days in a row, actually. I got to open my manga/comic book set that I'd bought earlier, Nana (??) and I'm super happy about it~! It's lined up in my bookcase right now.
168 is very good for me. Recently I was 187, at my basic "I can't move away from this number" kind of thing. So this is fantastic.
And that's just how it's going so far!
Thanks, everybody, for being supportive. I'll pray that you guys succeed as well!!
? [I know I'm a loser for not visiting the forum...for two years.] LOL...
Basically, if I could give one... err, a few tips, it would be like this.
1. Don't focus on food. IF (IF!) food is the problem for you in the first place, and if you don't mind trying something new, try forgetting about your diet. That doesn't mean giving up on your health and trying to kill yourself with cotton candy and fried chicken and potato chips just because you missed them. It means NOT beating yourself up about everything that goes in your mouth, and thinking you're a failure or a gross person. And your mouth NOT is a trashcan. If you go on diets a lot, this is hard to do because you (might) have trained yourself to worry a lot about your self control, what you eat, and bla bla bla. So you don't even trust yourself anymore.
So yeah, you should eat healthy. Some foods are bad for your heart and your joints and your life. But cracking your skull repeatedly on a brick wall as mental punishment will not make your self-control better. It's going to make you weak and afraid and embarrassed and not able to take hold of your problem and strangle it.
If you feel shame about how you are now, that might help you lose weight. But for me personally, it doesn't help me to slam my head into the wall of "reality" too many times. You COULD try accepting yourself, your body, your shape, even while you want to change yourself. You don't have to hate what you want to change about yourself. For instance, accept that you are handsome or beautiful, but tell yourself and other people you are losing weight for your HEALTH.
INSTEAD, FOCUS ON LIVING, GETTING FIT (no matter what age you are, get fit for that age) AND ENJOY IT. Get busy with that, and busy with trying your best to be happy and positive and cool and collected. And it's not easy, so don't be surprised if it doesn't work right away. You're going to have to work your butt off. And when you think you're at your limit, you have to keep going another twenty miles.
Other stuff that MAY help you...
2. make weight loss goals that are tiny. Even better, goals that you know you can make it to.
3. Weigh every day at the same time. (poop and meals and fluid in your body will change your weight, so take weight at the same time every day for accuracy.)
4. Accept what's going on. Admit the truth. If you gained weight, say it out loud. If you feel like punching the wall or crying, don't pretend you aren't upset by hiding it.
5. Don't make excuses, especially not to yourself. If you do that, you trying to make yourself feel better about making mistakes. If you just admit that sometimes you're going to fail, it isn't so difficult to try.
6. just believe in yourself already. There's no other way to have confidence except by taking it.
