Lils Diary

L

lilone

New member
well, this past week was suppose to be the week I started my 'new habits', (i'm tired of using the word diet) well i started off great but, by mid week... i was over eating (I love food, buts its more like a love affair. I have come to the realization that i eat for comfort, when work starts getting stressful i reach for the lunch bag, but knowing is half the battle) I had planned to work out every night, 7 days a week starting with 20-30 mins... i did good, doing 30mins, but it was only for 3 days :-(

I take it hard when i fail, which is never great, because it brings me to my knees and an overwhelming depressing state...i won’t go into details on this because i figure we are all here to get motivated.

i was reading about this 'one change a day' plan someone had posted, whish i think is great she listed day one drink water in place of pops and sugary drinks.... doesn't apply to me b/c i don’t drink pop... so i need help with this one... if anyone has ideas on what i can change once a day please list them...


I thought i would share some of the things that are motivating me to lose weight:
1. health reasons, at every check up my Doctor so kindly reminds me that i am over weight (like i don’t notice everyday when i look in the mirror) :p

2. my cousins confirmation this May (also lands on my birthday), i'll be her sponsor. I bought a nice summer dress that would look even better on me if i lost this tire roll around my mid section!

3. to do everything that i want to do but feel like i can't because of my weight:
- fit into a tiny bikini, or better yet go to a nude beach in Italy!
- feel comfortable in a bathing suit this summer
- go away to a hot sunny destination, where i can feel comfortable wearing a bathing suit
- feel like the sexiest woman at a wedding in a sleek sexy dress ( i have a wedding to go to in May and one in June, i know i'm cutting it close)
- feel better about myself so i have more confidence in the bed room
- feel better about myself so when someone says i look beautiful i can believe them
- stop men in their tracks when i walk past them

4. in general, i have a terrifyingly low self confidence, and many insecurities that goes along with it, and on a bad day ... it can push me to a breaking point. My weight dominates my life and holds me back from many things i want to do. I need to get control of my life and gain some emotional and mental stability. (oh boy, now you all know i'm crazy :-/ )

This coming week my goal is / my plan is to:
1. work out for 20 - 30mins on the elliptical trainer on monday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday

2. stick to the Canadian food guide ( this past week i went over my daily intake of grains...I'm Italian - i Love my pasta...its a curse!) YES, I AM CANADIAN!!!!!

I'll keep you posted on my progress, or lack there of...

Best of luck to everyone this week...keep up the good work!!!! RA RA RA GOOOOOOOO TEAM!!!!!
 
Hey first off you can do this, but don't try and do it all at once. There is a wealth of information on this site and there are even some great pasta recipes from the daughter of an Italian chef in Venice that may fill that taste for pasta without adding to the spare tire. You are so right in not calling it a diet, it has to be a lifestyle change. It sounds like you know your triggers, that's a big step. Good luck. I have found the support here has kept me making these changes for almost a year now.
 
Thanks for the reply,

Yes, I haven’t been on this site for more then 5 days but so far, so good...

I will definitely have to find those recipes! Thanks for the heads up!

:) I can't wait for my ticker to start moving!!!! (to be honest I don’t have a scale ... that should be one of my goals for tomorrow ...buying a scale!)

talk to you later!!!
i just realized the time, i best get some sleep i'll have to be up in 5 hours!

well tomorrow is week 2 .... hopefully more progress then last....
 
Hi Lilone :)

Welcome to the WLF and to your diary!

First and foremost - let me be the one to tell you - you are NOT your weight. What that scale says is merely a snapshot in time of where you were - not who you are.

Take a look at my signature - what's written there has meaning.

-The future is NO place to put your better days-

They start here and now :)

Losing weight is a slow process, we all know that instinctively, that doesn't make it easier to accept. Remember to take it one pound, one day and if you need to, one meal at a time.

You CAN do this.

I think taking small steps is THE best way to make this life style change. I never said I was going to exercise every day - but I did say "I'm going to walk this morning." Then the next day I committed to walking - little by little I found myself doing it every day - not because I HAD to - but because I learned to love it. It took about 8 months for me to get around to adding strength training. I don't love it yet - but I'm committed to doing it 3 days a week.

When we bite off more then we can chew, whether that's restricting our food intake too much, over extending ourselves with exercise - then when we do "fail" it becomes too much like defeat - then guilt - then all that other crap we throw on ourselves.

Now, if I want cheesecake, I eat cheesecake...but I'll factor it into my calories for the day. If I were to go on a "diet" and had to use someone else's plan - I would have failed at this losing weight business miserably.

You'll find what works for you - just be gentle with yourself and take it one day at a time. Not all those days are perfect, life gets in the way, but gradually, you'll have better and better days and will begin to see results!

Best wishes to you,
 
well here I try again for another successful week...
I have to say, I think I did pretty well today. I still haven't bought a scale, but I took my jeans out of the drier this morning and I think they were fitting a little lose around the butt...being that they just came from the drier, know what I mean?

I worked out a little 20 whole mins!!! (hey don't knock it, I actually broke a sweat!....the machine said I burned 289 cal. how accurate do you think that is?)

let’s see for food:
Breakfast - I had a yogurt
snack - grapes
lunch - HA lunch was a disaster, I had a salad. I made a tuna sandwich but I took one bite and I think the mayo or something was bad :p
after a while I was hungry again so I had to resort to crackers ... and on top I put some avocado (when I went to look up the nutritional facts for the avocado I was so surprised something like 200+ for half and I think it was like 80% from fat...note to self limit the avocados!) and then I had some with peanut butter...
snack - celery
what else did I eat?.....that’s all for work...besides the water...
dinner - a bowl of homemade minestrone soup and some cheese...

oh I also did some weight lifting :eek: I know!!!! look at me go! what a start, and the race is on and here I come on the inside watch out!!!!

anyways, what do you all think?

tomorrow will be a challenge for me. I am going to a fashion show which starts at 7Pm with wine tasting and Hors d’oeuvres. I have been telling myself all day stay away from the Hors d’oeuvres ...hopefully I won't eat too many...any tips for self control...how can you resist those tiny, tasty treats!!!! I want to eat them all up!!!! LOL I will try my best to keep my fingers off...wish me luck!
 
well, another day another dollar....
as i suspected the fashion show last night was the down point of my eating habits... I think i still did rather well... I only sampled 3 wines... which was equivilant to 1.5 glasses. the real bummer was the amount of bread and cheese i ate...and what makes it worse is that i didn't get any cardio in .... but given that it was a night out for dinner and entertainment.... I am pretty pleased with my self control....


as for today....i think i am in good standing....I'm starting to get the hand of balancing out my meals and calories... i figure i have had natural low fat Peanut butter a couple of days this week so i figure that is enough this week...so for lunch i had tuna. anyways


Tonight is my cardio night .... I will try to do 30mins .... I find the forum:
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/club...ise-challenge-around-world-how-many-days.html
is a motivating for me....

the fashion show was emotionally tough ... just with all the thin models (maybe too thin). I just find it hard enough to look in the mirror and say yes i'm looking good... then try saying that when you're in a room full of models... ouch!
ttyl

lil
 
I'm feeling low today. Instead of eating my depression away, i'd thought i'd remind myself of the many reasons not to stuff my face with food:
I thought i would share some of the things that are motivating me to lose weight:
1. health reasons, at every check up my Doctor so kindly reminds me that i am over weight (like i don’t notice everyday when i look in the mirror) :p

2. my cousins confirmation this May (also lands on my birthday), i'll be her sponsor. I bought a nice summer dress that would look even better on me if i lost this tire roll around my mid section!

3. to do everything that i want to do but feel like i can't because of my weight:
- fit into a tiny bikini, or better yet go to a nude beach in Italy!
- feel comfortable in a bathing suit this summer
- go away to a hot sunny destination, where i can feel comfortable wearing a bathing suit
- feel like the sexiest woman at a wedding in a sleek sexy dress ( i have a wedding to go to in May and one in June, i know i'm cutting it close)
- feel better about myself so i have more confidence in the bed room
- feel better about myself so when someone says i look beautiful i can believe them
- stop men in their tracks when i walk past them

4. in general, i have a terrifyingly low self confidence, and many insecurities that goes along with it, and on a bad day ... it can push me to a breaking point. My weight dominates my life and holds me back from many things i want to do. I need to get control of my life and gain some emotional and mental stability. (oh boy, now you all know i'm crazy :-/ )
Click to expand...

It's kind og like a self-guit trip but it semi-worked...i don't feel like stuffing my face, but i'm still feeling low...

I think i'll try this HIIT thing i learned about today in the forums...perhaps it will make me feel accomplished and that i have done a good sweaty workout ... that usually motivates me....hopefully tomorrow is a brighter day...

have a good one.
lil1
 
Something to hold on to

Well it’s been a while since I have written anything in here...
I've been losing weight which is great... I have my bad days when I eat too much, they are typically on weekends when I go out to eat with family or friends. I also have my emotionally draining days. I’m sure many of you have the same kind of days, when you feel like you just aren't reaching your goal. I weigh myself every Monday morning last week I lost 3 #s. I weigh myself over the course of the week too. I think I ought to stop because it really drags me down. For example I woke up this past Monday and weighed 177, right now I weigh 179. Logically I think to myself...well I just had dinner, then emotionally I beat myself up. I must applaud myself though, if this was a month ago I would probably go down to the kitchen and eat just to comfort myself, but now I feel like jumping on an elliptical, to try to run myself tired.

I'm going to put myself out on the ledge and share with everyone how my weight problems have dominated my life. as you can read in my previous postings my weight issue holds me back from many things in life. Lossing this weight is more in an effort to love myself then to look good, which I guess can seem like one in the same. But when i tell you that one would consider me suicidal, and my suicidal thoughts are derived from how i see myself, a person so out of control of my own life. my weight loss is more then about health reasons like heart disease, or obesity, its really just about life or self-proclaimed death.

I thought that maybe someone else on this site may feel the same as me at times. Hopeless, out of control, helpless, tired, drained of effort due to failure, and worthless.

If anyone knows how hard it can be I assure you it's me. So I offer you the one thing that holds me together in my times of absolute depression and suicidal thoughts. This email address: jo@samaritans.org

I don't work for this organization; it's just a website I ran into looking for help one extremely horrible night:

Please don’t post me any bull shit sympathy replies... this is a weight loss forum, and i just wanted to lend out what helps me, in fear that there are more people like me.

I wish you all the best in achieving your goals.

peace.
 
well, its been a pretty good week... any week leading up to a long weekend (Victorica Day, I am Canadian!) is a good one if you ask me. I have designated myself as the driver this long weekend...that way i have 2 reasons not to drink 1) to cut the caloric intake, and 2) as stated i'll be driving. I'm going to try to stick to water all weekend and maybe a beer each night. I don;t have much planned but i was thinking either heading down to niagara (states side) to do some shopping...as a form of exercise (hey all that walking and carring all those bags can be tough! he he he) or I may just do some work around the house... cut the grass, unload the hay wagon, then i may go out to the river and do some paddling. I'm feeling pretty motivated and up for alot of exercise, each week i have been losing weight (some weeks more then others) but i have been digging through my closet and finding that some items i haven't worn in a long time fit me again!!!!! wooo hoooo..... I still notice the tire around my mid section, but slowly (very slowly) it's starting to disappear....
I'm hoping by June 10th when i go on my holidays i'll be feeling more confident and sexy on the beach half naked, and half sun baked!....

I hope you all are staying motivated too...You can do this, it takes time but think of it as a lesson in patients...It has been like that for me.
 
Back from Panama - WHAT A TIME!!!!

hola amigos,
well i'm back from my holiday...Panama was great!!!
If there is anyone looking for a great holiday destination it is Panama: Royal delcamron beach, spa, golf, resort. I went in the wet season but because the hotel is located in a micro climate due to the mountins that catch all the rain... we hardly got any and when we did mother nature timed it well. The resort is huge but because it was the off season it was plesently quite...untill you got me in the bar! HA! but really if you have a family its great for small children, its an older mature crowd so its not one of those "i'm here to get ****ed" kind of place... we met alot of really nice people (visitors and people who worked at the resort) we (everyone we met) are all starting to plan a good time to go together next year! WHAT A FUN TIME!!!!!

ANYWAYS....

I'm really happy because i only gained 4# which i hope to lose this week to get back on track with the June weight loss challenge .... I'm really surprised its only 4#s considering all the drinks i had! and late night hambergers :p I must say this though: I can really feel a difference in how my boy feels after eating like a pig compared to when i eat at home (the whole healthy routine) my stomach feels sooooo grogy...like there is 4 days worth of rotting food...(that sounds really gross! but i'm sure you all know what i mean) I am fasting for the day....drinking lots of water then tonight i have dinner with my family to celebrate my cousins graduation from law school...she is an official lawyer now (just what the world needed right!) HA HA HA

best of luck to you all
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top