Life After Losing Mom

V

Vicky'sNewBody

New member
Well, I guess this is the best place to start in my journal. For, I am changing my life. Starting over again after almost 10 years. I will forever miss my mother. As well as my father. I have to remember that I am still a young woman and need to focus on living life to the fullest. The biggest question is HOW??? How do you live life to the fullest? How do you do this when the most important people in your life are all deceased. How do you get past the pain to finally live.

Also, I think with being this obesed I am definately not living my life at the potential that I could be. Sometimes, I feel that I can't go on. That I can't push past what has happened to my mother and I. Getting past what has been stolen from my family. I feel overwhelmed with grieving most days. Then other times I feel very strong.

It is hard to get started in my life. But, I know that my mother would want me to live my life, and be successful in my personal endeavors. So, this is where my weight loss plays an important part of my success in life. I have put everyone above myself for the most part. And, now it times to start taking care of me. It's hard to do this for I am not use to giving myself full attention.

Eating:

I don't know if I have truly made up my mind to change. I believe that I have. I know there will be times that I will not stick to my plan. I must look at myself as a temple. Something that is sacred. I know that I am the only one that can make my dreams come true. I AM my future. I am the only one that can get the job done. So, of this I must remind myself everyday. It is only I that can make the lasting changes in my life. And, the support of others will help me along the journey to get there. :)

Well, I will be back later to record what I am eating for the day. It's time to get to bed.. Wow, is after midnight and already a brand new day..

Goodnight.:sleeping:
 
Hope you had a good rest - welcome to the forum and to your journal...

But, I know that my mother would want me to live my life, and be successful in my personal endeavors.
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that's a wonderful realization... and a great starting point for yourself :D
 
Hello, its great that you are here for some motivation. I am sorry for your loss. I too lost my mom last June to breast cancer suddenly. She was only 63 and it was such an unexpected loss and very painful. I miss her every second of the day and it is hard, I too know this. So many plans that just stopped. The thought of my mom and what she would want me to do in life keeps me going and makes me want to do better. Always remember that your mom wants you to do good and I have faith that she is watching over you.

Make some goals and change your bad eating habits and the weight will come off. It is a hard job but don't give up. Do whatever you can to motivate yourself, these forums really help.

Good luck.


Your Mother is always with you . . . She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your Morther lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop. She's the place you came from, your first home; and she's the map you follow with every stop you take. She's your first love and your first heartbreak, and nothing on ear can separate you.

Not time, not space . . . not even death!
 
Thank Jellybellyjean....

Hi Jellybellyjean,

I'm so sorry to hear about the lost of your mother. I think it's the worst thing that can happen to a person. My mother was 69 when she died. She died 10 days after my birthday. I remember her taking her last breath to sing me and my sister happy birthday. The next few days she was then on the respirator. She was in the hospital for 2 1/2 months then died in April of Septicemia.

Thank you for the beautiful thoughts. I do hear my mother in my laughter and things that I say or do. I miss her very much. Her death was unexpected also. Her physican if you can call him that, left a dirty cathethar inside of her and it gave her Sepsis. I still can't believe that she is gone. You are right she is my first love and first heartbreak. I love my mother so much. I feel her with me everyday. She is always in my thoughts.

I know she has always desired for me to lose the wieght. I know I have always wanted to. Today, makes three consecutive days of exercise on the treadmill. I have set a goal to get up each morning and exercise and focus on eating small meals no more than 1500 calories daily. I weigh in every Wednesday morning. I can see a difference and how I look already. I really need to find a healthy eating buddy that is eating this way also. I think it will help me stay focused. I am doing my part and reinforcement can be a life saver. :)

I look forward to knowing you. I will try my best to log on each day. This is a commitment to myself and others for moral support. :)
 
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Hello Vicky,

I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your mother. I lost my husband and I know first hand what it's like to feel so much pain you don't think you can bear it. You'll never forget her, but I promise it will get better and easier in time. I joined GriefNet () after my husband passed away and it was the best thing I could have done. It was free and there are different forums for those who have lost different family members, so the people you are speaking wtih are going through the same thing and are a tremendous source of comfort. There were also people online from all over the world so during those sleepless nights, there was always someone to talk to.

I'm glad you are here. I'm new myself, but everyone has been so helpful and encouraging. Don't be too hard on yourself right now, but you can take small steps that will help you a lot. Exercising, even taking walks will help with weight loss, but will also increase the endorphins in your body to ease your mind a bit and will also help you sleep. Sleep. Drink a lot of water and keep things like mini carrots and celery close by to munch while you're on the computer (a trigger of mine).

Hang in there.
 
Thanks 2B135Again...

Thanks 2B135Again,

I'm so sorry to hear about you losing your husband. I know it is very tough. I watch my mother cry alot when my father passed away 18 years ago. I have never been married but I can only imagine that pain. I'm getting a little better. It's been over 3 months now. And, I am not as freaked out living in my apartment. I don't want to move for my mother and I had a lot of great times here together. We had birthday parties and gatherings etc. My brother lives here also. I think I would of went completely nuts otherwise. I am getting use to being the two of us now. I will check out the forum thanks for the link.

Sleep sounds really good. It has been hard to rest at night. I do notice that the exercise helps alot. And, eating healthier food choices. The good news is that I can see my body changing from all the exercising and eating smaller meals. Next year I will be 40 and I have a wedding to attend. My cousin whom I have never met is getting married. I am going to met the rest of my family. I don't want to meet them obesed. So, this gives me something outside losing weight for myself to shot for.

Thanks so much for the encouraging post and link. :)
 
Hello again Vicky,

I'm glad that your brother is around for some company. I wouldn't want to move either and if you can afford to continue to live in your home, why add the stress. The 'experts' say not to move or make any big changes for a while anyway. Having a goal like a wedding to attend is really good motivation for staying on target. I'm glad you're hanging in there. Take care.
 
Hi Vicky, just wanted to check in and see how the weight loss and eating right was going? This has been a good month for me. I have lost 14 pounds so far. I am so happy. Today I got on the scale and was 219 and I was excited because I was in the teens!!! I have a lot more to go but I am feeling a lot more motivated now with the recent weight loss and today I am wearing a pair of pants that I haven't been able to wear in years. I find that the more I lose the better my food habits get. I don't want to put the weight back on so I am very careful about my food selections and when I eat. How is it going with you? Are you finding the motivation and willpower you need?
 
2B135AGAIN said:
Hello again Vicky,

I'm glad that your brother is around for some company. I wouldn't want to move either and if you can afford to continue to live in your home, why add the stress. The 'experts' say not to move or make any big changes for a while anyway. Having a goal like a wedding to attend is really good motivation for staying on target. I'm glad you're hanging in there. Take care.
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Thanks Donna,

I noticed that I am staying away to long from the forum. It has been two weeks since I last post. I have devoted more time to my weight loss efforts online.

You are right, it is best to wait because right now I am too emotional to make a big decision like moving. I feel like I am trying to adjust a little. Even thought, I had a set back after hearing from my lawyer regarding my mother. Which, it open up the wounds. Unfortunately, I went on a eating binge for the last three days. I did however, keep my exercising regimen. It will take time.

Vicky
 
Jellybellyjean

jellybellyjean said:
Hi Vicky, just wanted to check in and see how the weight loss and eating right was going? This has been a good month for me. I have lost 14 pounds so far. I am so happy. Today I got on the scale and was 219 and I was excited because I was in the teens!!! I have a lot more to go but I am feeling a lot more motivated now with the recent weight loss and today I am wearing a pair of pants that I haven't been able to wear in years. I find that the more I lose the better my food habits get. I don't want to put the weight back on so I am very careful about my food selections and when I eat. How is it going with you? Are you finding the motivation and willpower you need?
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Hi Jelly,

Wow..... 14lbs in a month is very inspiring. That's wonderful! You are a great example of success. Keep up the great work.:)

I had a set back for the last 3 days due to talking to my lawyer regarding my mother case. I know that I can't feed my emotions with food. Or at least if I do make it healthy choices. On the positive note, I did lose another 2 pounds which makes 4lbs so far in the last 3 weeks. I have keep my exercise schedule but I need to focus on lower fat and smaller portions. Thanks, for checking up on me. I really need the support. I need to believe in myself more and know that I can do this.

P.S.

Your ticker is so cute. :)

I need to get one to keep myself motivated and remind myself of what I am accomplishing.
 
Need this badly

Hi Guys

Am new to this forum with 66pounds or 26 kilos to lose. Have been trying many diets but my motivation falls especially when am teased by my husband and compared to other mates of his. Before my two kids I was 5 kilos away from my target weight but now my life is so busy I cannot find time for myself.:drooling:

Hearing your awesome stories makes me feel I want to start and finish.
Thanks guys. At least I knwo am not alone with these feelings.:)
 
Hi Floral and Welcome...

floral said:
Hi Guys

Am new to this forum with 66pounds or 26 kilos to lose. Have been trying many diets but my motivation falls especially when am teased by my husband and compared to other mates of his. Before my two kids I was 5 kilos away from my target weight but now my life is so busy I cannot find time for myself.:drooling:

Hearing your awesome stories makes me feel I want to start and finish.
Thanks guys. At least I knwo am not alone with these feelings.:)
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Hi Floral,

You will get great support here. I know you will get the 26 kilos down in no time at all. You are not alone that's a fact. I know it is hard but try to ignore hubby's comments. Focus on the solution and soon he will have lost of words. You can do it Floral. In fact, you are doing it because you are here on the forum; which is the beginning of change. :)

It's nice to meet you. I will add you to my buddy list to keep in touch.

P.S.

Here's an acronym for FOCUS:

Follow
One
Course
Until
Successful

That's my new motto. :)

Vicky
 
Thanks Vicky

Dear Vicky

Thanks for your support and understanding. I will try to ignore comments but it is very hard since they seem to demoralise me more that encourage me to change.

will follow these forums and will hopefully get the motivation needed.

Will keep you posted.
 
Thanks Vicky

:doh: Dear Vicky

Thanks for your support and understanding. I will try to ignore comments but it is very hard since they seem to demoralise me more that encourage me to change.:doh:

will follow these forums and will hopefully get the motivation needed.

Will keep you posted.
 
floral said:
Hi Guys

Am new to this forum with 66pounds or 26 kilos to lose. Have been trying many diets but my motivation falls especially when am teased by my husband and compared to other mates of his. Before my two kids I was 5 kilos away from my target weight but now my life is so busy I cannot find time for myself.:drooling:

Hearing your awesome stories makes me feel I want to start and finish.
Thanks guys. At least I knwo am not alone with these feelings.:)
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you always have time for yourself, you just didn't realize it.
 
You Are A Winner...Floral!!!

floral said:
:doh: Dear Vicky

Thanks for your support and understanding. I will try to ignore comments but it is very hard since they seem to demoralise me more that encourage me to change.:doh:

will follow these forums and will hopefully get the motivation needed.

Will keep you posted.
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As women, we are made naturally strong. We bare children, have painfully menstral cycles, management households, etc. This usually done all in the same day. We are truly amazing people. That said, you can do it.

Not doubt the comments of hubby is painful but remember he is only hurting himself. Marriage means that you both become one. So he is really saying mean things to his ownself. I don't know if this helps any. I hope it does. :)

I can't wait to hear your great success stories. :jump:

Vicky
 
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Hi beYourself and Welcome

beYourself said:
you always have time for yourself, you just didn't realize it.
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You are right, I always thought that I couldn't make time for exercise. But, I am finally doing this on a regular basis. I have set my alarm clock each morning so I can get up and exercise.

I need to prepare better when it comes to eating. I am going to check out the recipes section. So are you any specific eating program?
 
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Well, I guess I need to journal a little. I have notice that I am trying to relive passed events in my life that involved food. I purchased the Kentucky Fried Chicken a few days ago trying to relive the child memories of my mother and I sitting at the table eating. I remember that Dad was at work for it afternoon. However, all I could feel once I sat down to eat it was disgust. My mother and father are both deceased. Therefore, nothing is the same at all. My brother being mentally challenge will never eat sitting down. Therefore, nothing is normal anymore. I wonder if I try love myself for I know the food is not quality food and very unhealthy. I know the 2b135Again is right, I need to not be so hard on myself. Nevertheless, I know my health is on the line being 269lbs. I have to stay the course and stay focus. I love the acronym for FOCUS...Follow One Course Until Successful. A big thanks to Donald Trump for that.LOL. Anyway, I did 31.14 min on the treadmill today. I had two mini...and I do mean mini muffins with cream cheese and a small egg white omelet. I will be soon lunchtime and I plan to eat a healthy salad.

The other day:

I was sleeping during a Thunderstorm and I could hear people running in the rain outside my window. They were running past my window. I guess I was still in the sleeping stage for I woke with the word ringing in my ears...FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. It reminded me of my mother and what she would tell me. These words came right after a crying spell and 5 pieces of fried fatten chicken. :( I am glad that I heard from the lawyer but I wasn't prepared for the pain of reliving the horrible events in the hospital and fighting with two evil derange doctors.
 
Sometimes in the morning I need motivation so badly and I come on to this site and you all give me so much motivation, thank you!! It is just nice to know that we are not doing this alone and there are others out there struggling just as bad. I was up one pound this morning but I am not going to worry about that since it is just one pound. I go to the doctor today and have to weigh in so I will be interested in what their scale has to say because you know it always looks so worse on their scales!!!

Vicky, you too can have a cool signature bar. Go to and make your own.

I think as long as we realize when we make mistakes and we realize what our weaknesses are then that is a major step to changing those bad habits and making new ones. Find whatever motivates you and post it everywhere so you don't lose sight. You can do it!!
 
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