let's play... the weight game!

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slvrcharmbrclet

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goodbye, four-month-long plateau!

Monday, April 30, 2007

it's usually after my fifth day of consistently dieting and exercising when I break down.

don't get me wrong, I don't eat half my kitchen... I just slip and either don't work out, don't even go for a walk... or I eat a lot of food that's kind of okay if eaten in portions.

today is my fifth day of being consistent again, and I'm going to have another five consistent days. even more than that. I will have consistency until my last day of this particular weight loss journey. how do I know this, you ask?

I can feel it. no, really... I can.

something in me has changed.

have any of you ever heard someone talk about how hard it is to get back on a diet? well, my weight loss plateau from Christmas to April had nothing to do with that.

I lost 30 lbs. unintentionally in 2005, my freshman year of high school.
I realized this at the end of the year and decided to go on my own weight loss program. I lost 40 lbs. over that summer, the summer before my sophomore year.
I lost nothing sophomore year.
I tried to lose the rest the proceeding summer, but failed to lose any weight.

I had lost the devotion that had carried me through that first summer. but now that I'm sitting here, feeling what I am feeling, I have to admit that it took me about one year and nine months to get back into the weight loss sensation.

sure, tonight I weigh myself and see 156. I've seen that number many times before. sometimes I'm less than it, sometimes more. but this time, I really don't care. I can see the results, and that's all that matters. I love this feeling more than anything else.

I am back in business.
 
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Wow that sounds great! I am sure that you will be able to succeed this time. What did you do before that you lost all that weight?

See you around the forums! :)
 
Hi sweetie :). Sounds more like you were practicing maintenance rather than being on a plateau. I think a plateau is when you're on an active weight loss plan, having calorie deficits, but still not losing. That's happening to me right now :mad:. But staying the same weight without too too much effort, that's maintaining and that is not an easy undertaking. Being able to maintain one's weightloss is a great thing as lots of people re-gain their weight. So good for you!
 
thanks to both of you!

actually, I really was on a four-month plateau. this year since Christmas I have been desperately trying to lose weight. and I hadn't been able to becaues I couldn't remain consistent.
but, I'm sure that this phase is over!

today, I didn't finish my workout, but I did most of it, more than 2/3 and I didn't eat anything bad like I normally do when I don't do workouts or don't finish them. so in perspective, I've still made this day work toward my weight loss goals!
 
keep on pushing towards those goals :) youre gonna get there. make sure that what is going in to your body is coming out. do you use any tracking device such as to calculate what youre burning off against what youre eating?
have a nice day :) x
 
five pound loss leads to gorging: okay or no?

before reading, know that I've already lost seventy-five pounds, but that was a little less than two years ago. ever since then I've been off and on (but mostly on) diet programs that have led to yo-yo weightloss results. however, I just recently got back into that weight loss "mode," if you will. the feeling you get where you won't stop working out and you won't stop ignoring those nasty cravings until you are satisfied with your weight.

so I've just gotten out of a plateau that lasted about four months (from Christmas to April). during this time I've been fluctuating between 150 and 160 lbs.

I remember being down to 155, 154-ish, but it was usually when I was on a low-calorie diet (like the Special K diet, or something else that isn't very healthy to do).

in the past week and a half I got down to 155 again, but this time it resulted from challenging workouts and consistency. I usually can only last five days before gorging one night and not working out, which usually leads to another day or two of the same behavior, which makes me feel like a failure and causes me to gain some weight back, and the cycle starts again.

this time, I lasted a week (which as short as that sounds, is a HUGE accomplishment). but I still felt like I needed a reward. my birthday is in three days and I am not having anything for it... no cake, no treats, no special dinner. I'm eating a salad at a restaraunt and going to a charity fashion show at a coffeehouse where I'll be having fun drinking tea.

BUT, before any assumptions arise, I feel like this day (today, I didn't work out and ate quite a few things I shouldn't have) isn't like the rest. today, two friends of mine from school told me straight out that I looked good, and skinny. and neither of them knew of my recent success... they were just basing it off what they saw. tomorrow, I will continue to work out and stay on my diet, but I feel like I need reassurance that today isn't like the other days I've had before. days I've had before as described above, where I wasn't rewarding myself, but kind of caving to indulgence because I would become irritated at five whole days of having to exercise and not eating what I wanted to.

today, this isn't the case. I honestly felt like I needed a reward. and it seems as though I need days like today. I'll weigh myself tonight, see a number I don't like and worry about it, probably roll around in bed thinking about it for an hour since I won't be able to sleep because of the extra sugar in my body that it isn't use to having in it, and then I'll continue with my program tomorrow.

gosh, that sounds such failure-like. but, it's either have days like this once every two weeks, or I will go crazy. I am a woman. I get menstrual. I get salt cravings and chocolate cravings, and major peanut butter and honey sandwich cravings. no joke.

I guess what I want answered is... am I justified in this?

you all should know that during my plateau, I literally could not go five days without having a day where I wouldn't exercise and instead would eat something of nearly everything in my kitchen. and I did it every five days. contrarily, today is the first day I've eaten a lot in a long time. and I felt good in the fact that I've found this new positive outlook on my ability to lose weight. I hadn't been able to do it for such a long time, and now I finally am, and I know I'm not going to stop. I love working out, I love being on my plan, and I love the feeling of weight loss. I know this won't stop me. nothing can. I'm too subborn to give up. but every once in a while, a girl's gotta give in to her cravings, right?
 
a mental breakdown, and a letter to Oprah

yes, I wrote to Oprah. I don't really expect a reply... it was just a way to relieve stress. today, I came home from school because only five minutes into first period at school I felt something was wrong. I felt like I my head was going to combust. I asked my teacher if I could go call my mom in the bathroom, and I went. And I cried. And I got a permit from the office and left. I've been home all day.

I knew I wanted to share the story, but I might as well just show you all the letter. I had to star out some things, like my name and where I live, for obvious reasons.

Dear Oprah,

The average morning of a high school student doesn’t usually involve being excused from class to have a good cry in the girl’s bathroom. Sure, it happens, but not to me. The only time I cry is if I’m menstrual and watching ‘The Notebook.’ Regardless, it was only a half hour ago I was leaving my school parking lot, bawling. Now, as I sit here at my computer, my face puffy and raw, my head is swimming with emotions I’ve yet to release via tear ducts. In fact, I don’t really expect that this letter be read by the Oprah Winfrey, maybe a producer if I’m lucky. As I sit at my computer, I find this to be more of an exercise for stress relief… something to ease my soul, if you will.

My name’s Jenny B****r and I am a seventeen-year-old from *****, *****. I doubt if someone looked at me, they’d comment on my weight. But because it was roughly two years ago, when I was only fourteen years of age, that I topped the scale at 230 lbs., I think I have right to scrutinize over my appearance. I’ve been to Obesityland (in fact, I’ve been obese all my life until now), and believe me when I say I’m grateful I was able to shed 70 lbs. through my freshman year of high school and the following summer. As ecstatic as I was with my new hot bod, I didn’t try to lose weight during sophomore year. By the next summer, however, I was ready to lose the rest. At 170 lbs., I was still overweight. What happened that summer was extremely discouraging to me and everyone who knew that I was on another weight loss plan.

I didn’t lose one pound.

I tried. Really, I did. But have you ever heard someone talk about how hard it is to get back on a diet once you’ve come off it? Well, I exercised enough, but never followed my diet plan. The three months that seemed so generous to me the summer before haunted me that year. They flew by, and my junior year of high school began as quickly as I could have said, “Oh, yeah, I’ll be done losing my weight before school resumes.” In fact, I said that quite a lot.

October 7, 2006, I began dieting again. I didn’t exercise as often, but still lost weight. I soared from 170 to 160 and then hit a plateau around Christmas that has lasted until very recently. Between those months, I developed new forms of failing. My usual week went something like this: remaining relatively consistent for three or four days and then eating half my kitchen the fifth, sixth and possibly seventh day, feeling horrible about the fifth through seventh day and then continuing on my weight loss journey the next day after that. I had become a yo-yo dieter. In the past month, however, I’ve been exercising mostly every day and have lost real weight (not the Special K diet water weight loss that got me excited for a good week and a half before I consumed bags of potato chips and plates of cookies to replenish my slightly malnourished self).

After making so many mistakes, I’ve accumulated nutrition and physical activity knowledge. My diet is not a low-calorie one. I eat nothing but vegetables, whole grains, fruits, lean meats, skim milk and healthy dairy products and nuts (just a handful). My workout is sensible for my body type – it’s long and calls for endurance. Every day I come home from school at 3:30 p.m. and exercise until 5:00 p.m. Later at night, I go for forty-minute walks with my mom.

So what’s my problem? Why was I sitting on a bacteria-infested high school bathroom floor just an hour ago crying into wads of toilet paper? Well, something’s not right. I have success and despite how hard I work for it, I suddenly find myself opposed to working out or dieting. I even have a five-day hump. It seems I last a certain amount of days (usually five) and then my spirit sinks. I no longer have the heart to keep going, even though this journey has consumed the past ten months of my life. At this point, I don’t want to eat half my kitchen but I can’t trust myself enough to know for sure that I won’t do it anyway. I love working out once I’m warmed up and actually exercising. It relieves stress and shapes my body, but for some reason I dread even thinking about doing it.

Literally three minutes of my day cannot pass without me thinking about weight loss and every single factor that influences my reasons for doing it.

My senior year is merely four months away, and I know I’ll be buried in college prep and a senior project our school district requires all graduates to complete. I admit that this year my straight A’s have slipped a bit due to this obsession. I admit there’s that one boy I want to woo with my weight loss. But more importantly, I know that when I picture myself attending an art school in San Francisco after graduating, I don’t see myself this way. I see myself lean and fit. I don’t care about numbers, I care about my self-confidence, and I care about loving my body. I look at other girls and even obese girls look human. When I look at myself in a mirror, I don’t see who I am, and I don’t see what I see in anybody else. I look at my curves and despite how many times people may compliment me on how great I look, I try to see the person I know I am. All my life I’ve dreamed of being thin. Not being thinner, being thin. I am thinner. I am not thin. And I certainly did not lose so much weight to call it good when I’m twenty or twenty-five pounds away from my ideal body. I did not imagine myself as a half-assed job.

All this stress and all these problems consume my every thought. I wake up and want to work out, want to lose weight. Then I have to go to school and sit in a classroom, read a book, complete an assignment. It’s hard to pay attention when my mind isn’t in that classroom. My mind is always in that workout room, it’s always thinking about my future and if I will ever succeed at this. My local graphic-designing, senior picture-taking mind is not on the posters and t-shirt designs I must make for that charity fashion show, or Sara’s senior pictures I have to take that weekend. My mind isn’t on Amber’s birthday barbeque on Friday. It isn’t on that leaf project for AP Biology. It’s on me, on what I’ve been trying to do for ten months. Augusten Burroughs wrote in his memoir, Dry, about dealing with alcoholism, “A lot of people go back out and use at the nine-month point. It’s like the seven-year itch. I think this must be because we have nine months programmed into use from our time in the womb. After nine months we are ready to make a dramatic change.” I know there’s a big difference between being a recovering alcoholic and trying to lose weight, but so much time has been wasted on something that two years ago I had so much control over. I could lose weight back then. So what’s wrong with me now? I know in my heart if I don’t lose this weight at least before I graduate high school, I may never do it. Sure, people of all ages lose weight, but if I can’t do it now, when I am so mentally centered on it, who’s to say when I’d be able to do it later? My body’s been used to dieting and exercising so long. It feels so horrible that for two years, when someone offers me a cookie or when a teacher brings donuts for her favorite class, I can’t accept it. Not because I don’t allow myself to enjoy small portions of food. I do. It’s a combination of being around people who know I’m trying to lose weight and not wanting to disappoint them, though I have been for so long a time. It’s me not wanting to be that person who’s always trying to lose weight and never will. I want to enjoy my last Christmas and my last birthday in the following year. I turned seventeen four days ago and didn’t even have a cake. I avoid going out to eat in fear of indulging. I can’t watch television without pitying myself when I see skinny people in movies or commercials. I told myself that by the next season of my favorite show, NBC’s ‘The Biggest Loser,’ (it’s my favorite for obvious reasons) I would be at my ideal weight. Right now, I don’t know if that will happen. I don’t know if anything will happen. I don’t know if I’ll exercise today. I’m exhausted from this mental breakdown. Right now, my graphic art class just started. They’re probably all working on their personal web sites.

I am writing to Oprah.

I should probably go watch ‘The Notebook’ now and release those extra inner emotions I haven’t spewed all over this letter. Do with it what you will; whether it ends up in a trash can, or you send Bob Greene to ambush me in my sleep, I trust it will be for the best. Thank you for your time, Oprah/producer/camera guy… whoever you may be.

:)
Peace,
Jenny B****r
 
I hope writing that letter gave you some peace and made youo feel a little better... Hang in there Jenny... and take care fo yourself... and you might want to talk to your mom abouot how your feeling when you take your walks.. I'm sure she'd want to do everythin in her power to help you...
 
Hi Jenny,

There were a lot of things in your letter that I know I have felt along the way in the weight loss journey and I am sure I will feel again.

You sure aren't alone in feeling this way and even though I am definitely old enough to be your mom, I can remember how it felt to be 17.

I also know how sometimes our desire to be thin and to reach our goal, consumes us and our every thought...at least for me. I have posted about it. I work on that aspect of my journey, too. I know, too, how disappointed I feel when I hit a plateau or feel like I have failed (without a good reason!). It's normal.

I just wanted you to know that I share your doubts and fears. But just like the balance that you want to find in your eating...you need to have that balance in all of your life. Try to give each part of all of your life the attention it deserves. Focus on school when you are there and focus on the gym or your workout when you are there.

You have done great and you will continue to succeed! Hang in there, girl!

Oh, and Happy Birthday! :)

Beth
 
thanks so much to both of you. :)
after ten months of failing and failing, I should have seen this day coming. I don't usually cry or let my emotions overwhelm me, but I think all the tension had to some how come out.
 
I feel for you. You are bright and intelligent and full of heart. It will be okay.
Your efforts will be rewarded. Just make the changes and get out of your own way.
 
women: how to diet while menstrual

so, I didn't really want to stick this in the nutrition section since it isn't spefically about what to eat, but about eating. plus, this is a sort of diary entry of the week.

so, I've been doing really good. for the first time in ten months, I have a grip on the concept of losing weight. my whole outlook on a weight loss plan has changed... for the better.

so, even though I'm happy and am doing well, I ended up binge eating twice in the past week (last Sunday and on Thursday). BUT I know for a fact they were cravings caused by my.... period.

females... you know the cravings. you aren't hungry. in fact, you are so full you feel pregnant, yet you have this monstrous urge to eat another bowl of ice cream or another five Oreos. it isn't hunger. it's like you're on a mission to eat, no matter how more angry you become at yourself for having eaten everything in the kitchen.

so, my questions are...

1.) how should I deal with the cravings? believe me, I've tried hard to resist them. but like some girls get super bad cramps or fatigue, I get cravings. nothing else... just horrible cravings. normally I crave peanut butter, salty things, and chocolate.

2.) should I beat myself up after having one or two binging days out of a whole month of being consistent with my weight loss plan?

3.) does anyone else have this problem? and if so, how do you deal with it?

thanks guys!
 
I dont have any problems related to visits from Aunt Flo. However, I do tend to get bingy sometimes and I feel its fine if I'm doing well other days to make up for it. Just go with it, still log your calories to keep yourself accountable but dont feel guilty. When you're feeling less bingy, you make up for it by eating extra strict. I dont believe in self-discipline to the point of torture. And I dont think people get fat or stay fat from a few bingy days a month if they're eating well and exercising the rest of the month. That is actually quite good if you can keep it to such a minimum.
 
I have the exact same problem...two solid days of my body screaming for carbs, preferably ones that taste sweet....complicated by the fact that I have a history of some serious prolonged binges that all started with "just one bowl of ice cream"....so I basically just spend those days eating my bodyweight in fruit, shying away from the calorie dense ones like raisins and bananas and eating as many as I want in apples, tangerines, melons and berries. The downside is I get all nice and bloated by bedtime and the scale reads a pound or two higher for a couple of days, but the upside is the calories stay in check, all that fruit makes me cheerful instead of irritable, I know the extra weight on the scale is temporary and not fat, and best of all all that fruit sugar pretty much satisfies the carb cravings just as well as refined sugary (and fat laden) junk food.
 
hmm. thank you both for your replies :)

I've also read that when craving foods, one should set a timer to 15 minutes, drink a large glass of water and have a small, high-protein snack.

the only problem is that in the rush of the moment of getting something to eat, I forget this tactic. so I've yet to find out if it actually works.

thanks again to both of you!
 
June 13, 2007:

okay, so the whole "weight game" was just a lure, but I honestly need someone to help me out!

here's my predicament: I got out of school for summer vacation a week ago, on June 6, and noticed changes in my body right away. I went from about 156 to 153ish, and am happy about it, but because I am anal, I have a summer weight loss goal of losing two pounds per week. this Friday, I'm supposed to be 150. I've been worried, because I feel like I'm 150 (every single time I lose about five pounds I can see it, so I know). so because I keep weighing in at 151.5-153 in the mornings, I'm beginning to freak out. BUT, I'm due for my period on the 16th, so I'm probably just retaining water.

anywho, I'd like to ask for advice on what my idea weight might be, according to everyone's knowledge of body structure (you know, build, muscle percentage, etc.)

1: I have a bigger build. for example, I have broader shoulders, I'm 5'7", have big feet. yeah.
2: I know I'm pretty muscular. I can just barely see a six pack underneath my ab fat! because of running so much, I have huge leg muscles, and my arms are pretty well defined as well.
3: my only weak area (when it comes to fat buildup) has always been my lower abdomen, which is pretty much the only thing I have left to rid myself of.

SO, my initial goal was to get to 130, because I started at 230, and that would make a one hundred-pound weight loss, which would be pretty cool, but because of my body structure, I'm wondering... would I really need to lose that much?

what do you guys think?
140?
135?
130?
lower?

thanks!
 
distraught in diet & exericise.

June 27:

it's been exactly three weeks since summer vacation started, and I've seen a huge change in my body shape.

however, the scale has not moved.

it's great that I've noticed the change and all, but after a while... it kind of get's to you.

what's happening here?
I really do know pretty much all there is to know when it comes to exercise and nutrition.

for the past three days I've been working out for a total of two and a half hours a day (not consecutively) and realized tonight I should probably stop because I'm likely to overtrain.

but what am I to do? I've been stuck at 155 lbs. for three weeks and I've no clue what my goal weight is anymore. I thought it would be 130 lbs., and now I'm thinking more like 140 lbs. or 145, depending on how I look at that time...

but how am I supposed to stay motivated when I've got only two months before school starts, I really want to lose this weight, and it's just not happening?! after losing 75 lbs. already, I know I'll never give up... but, do some of you have some answers or helpful words for me?

I think my head may implode.
 
my story: from start to... almost finished

hello all,

so, I decided to finally present my story here. it's a very long one, but I'll try to keep this thread short and sweet. :)

I've been obese all my life, peaking at 230 lbs the summer before my freshman year in high school (I was 14 years old). that year I lost 30 lbs unintentionally. probably because I stopped growing so much & went out with friends more, it just happened naturally. I didn't really weigh myself back then but by the end of the year I noticed a change in how I fit in some old clothing & finally got on the scale. after realizing I'd lost so much, I had the confidence to go on my own weight loss program for the summer.

during that summer (of 2005 - the summer before my sophomore year) I lost a total of 40 lbs. I went from exactly 200 lbs on the last day of school (year 2004-2005) to exactly 160 lbs on the first day of school (year of 2005-2006). I looked good & felt great, so I didn't try to lose more, though I knew I wasn't at my eventual goal weight.

by the middle of the year I decided I wanted to lose the rest, but I figured it'd be too hard during school, so I waited it out until summer, knowing if I lost 40 lbs the previous summer, I could lose another 30 lbs or so the next, right?

wrong.

I didn't lose a thing. I later got a better scale & I weighed in at 168 lbs. and was not happy about it. so, on October 7, 2006 (early in my junior year of high school) I started dieting again. I didn't exercise more than three or four times a week because I dreaded it too much. I went from 168-ish lbs to 160-ish lbs & all was well. then, I became a yo-yo dieter.

it started around Christmas time & got to the point where I had a five day hump; I'd start out strong, dieting hard (eating a very low amount of calories) and then by the fourth day I'd be agitated and hungry, and on the fifth day I'd eat everything my kitchen had to offer (& my mom runs a daycare in our house, so there are lots of goodies). this behavior continued throughout the year until about April when I realized I didn't care how long it took to lose the rest of the weight. I'd have to buck up & just do it. throughout the month, I got over my five day hump & started dieting better (meaning I had finally learned that eating only 1,000 calories a day doesn't work & is very unhealthy). I was also exercising every day.

finally summer arrived. I began at about 155 lbs & since the start of vacation (June 7th), I've dropped to about 150 lbs. only a five pound loss - but an amazing difference. I thought my ideal weight was 130 lbs, but, because I am 5'7" & have a very broad build, not to mention the muscle I have (a lot of it, I'm proud to say :p ) I realize now my goal weight will not necessarily be that low. I don't really care about numbers anymore. I can literally count the pounds of fat on my body that's left to lose, and I don't think there's more than five pounds of it. my stomach & back have always been my weak points. I've always had skinny arms & legs. my bowl-shaped lower abdominal area has shrunk in the past 39 days (there are still 41 days left of summer!) & I have about 1-2 lbs of fat left to flush out.

I decided to write this out today because I'm premenstrual (ladies, you already know where I'm going with this), meaning I feel lost & depressed, as though the world is ending & I'll never lose this weight. even though I know it's not true. I'm taking a day off of exercising & dieting. though I feel guilty, I probably do really deserve it. I've been craving brownie batter forever & had to give in.

hope all is well with all your guys' weight loss journeys.
words of encouragement are welcome (I feel really bad about that batter!)
 
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