Lena's diary

back from dreamin'

it was nice while the vacation lasted now its back to reality...

spent 13 hours in bus yesterday :puke: really felt sick buy the end of it. i think my mind is fed up with buses for life.

food was bad...
weather was really bad
goran's mom was so so :)banghead: lol)

apart from that everything else was

ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS :party:

I am very happy. i managed to get a lot fo rest and i needed that. it was nice to snuggle in front of the tv and just relax.
anyway now i'm back and tomorrow its back to work. and eating right and exercising :)
will post more and catch up with all in the next few days. i still have some unpacking/laundry/cleaning and thingies to do.
 
i'm in search of a right gym.

i don't really want to go back to my old aerobic center because 1. its too damn crowded; 2. i got bored of the same routines

my foot feels better and i need some kick from the outside. i found one center which i like...its run by a dancer ivona brnelic who was long time coreographer in london...did tina turner shows and stuff. i sent an e-mail to the center asking for their prices. it is probable it is a bit over the top. hey she can ask for the price. she is that good lol. anyway she has some dance groups, target classes and pilates and yoga, as well as the combination of both. so we'll see.

if not i will still continue to workout at home.

i am making plans for my weekly menu. i am all concentrated and focused.
amazing what little time spent with bf can do haha
 
one of those days

today was a slow day at work. i just looked really busy. and i was reading around various forums and through various articles and stumbled on some discussions regarding beliefs, faith and their role in everyday life.

and it somehow made me think that i lost my spirituality somewhere along the way. i don't know what i believe in anymore. and i don't mean that in a sad way. i am perfectly happy and well today lol but i'm kinda confused with myself.

i used to be pretty spiritual. and it seems to me that i completely stopped paying attention to my spiritual side. as I was reading today through posts and people's beliefs i realized that my inner voice was being fairly sarcastic in while i was commenting in my mind. and honestly i didn't really like that side of me.
i think i need to do some soul searching.
:confused:

that's just a philosopher me...i did graduate in philosophy so i have these episodes every now and then...professional deformity as they say hehe. now i'm serious thinking mode lol (hopefully thinking burns calories lol)

on the weight front i am doing really nicely yesterday and today. sticking to my planned meals and calories. did 50 minutes yoga yesterday. today i plan on doing 30 minutes of yoga and some pilates :) or i'll jump on the elliptical and do steve's exercises. but will put in the effort. i really like the challenge claudia set up. and even if i don't officially belong to any of the teams i decided to follow it anyway. seeing all my dear friends doing it definitely is motivating :)

btw did i mention i feel really good today??? :reddevil:
its freakin cold but i feel like i usually feel in the spring. never had that before. lol
 
:)Good luck on the gym hunt!

I have only just restarted exploring my spiritual side again...

The meditation is helping me wonders and i look forward to it , an hour a day after work before I go and nap!

AS you said in my diary about writing and sharing, it goes ditto for you.

Id love to hear more about your spiritually adn when you rediscover and refind it or bring it back....

Ya know what I mean:)
 
Hi lena! Thanks for stopping in at my diary. How is your gym search going? I belong to one, but I get very frustrated at having to wait for a machine or area and that deters me from utilizing it like I should. Hope you find one that suits your needs.

Good job on getting through the holidays so well!
 
cinderelly said:
:)Good luck on the gym hunt!

I have only just restarted exploring my spiritual side again...

The meditation is helping me wonders and i look forward to it , an hour a day after work before I go and nap!

AS you said in my diary about writing and sharing, it goes ditto for you.

Id love to hear more about your spiritually adn when you rediscover and refind it or bring it back....

Ya know what I mean:)
Click to expand...


lol yea i do.
i was thinking about it all day...its more like...i believe in God (or some higher power, energy...i don't belong to any religion so i don't define it any other way but with word God), i don't even doubt that presence. i know its there, in every single thing. and most of my life i felt at peace knowing that no matter what the hardship, no matter how bad things are...they have to end and one day because of him everything will be alright.

although i still have the same belief i stopped thinking about it. i stopped looking for answers. i stopped paying attention to my evolving and just communicating with that side of me. you know how sometimes it happens you have a very close friend..and somehow you depart. you still care about them, you still think about them on some rare occasions...but you stopped paying real attention to them. that's how i feel. and the thing is..i don't want that. i don't want to disassociate myself from spirituality... and become skeptical towards these things.

so i will keep looking. i guess just by starting to think about it more i'm making a progress ha?

bethann1156 said:
Hi lena! Thanks for stopping in at my diary. How is your gym search going? I belong to one, but I get very frustrated at having to wait for a machine or area and that deters me from utilizing it like I should. Hope you find one that suits your needs.

Good job on getting through the holidays so well!
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hey beth :) well the gym search is still on. didn't get any replies from that center, but i heard they're expensive and completely packed. so i'll keep looking. for now i'm exercising at home...so at least that's a plus hehe
 
the weirdest thing happen with my body the past few days, whenever i eat anything heavier than salad i start feeling sick. you know the feeling you get when yopu had too much alcohol and just want to forget about ever having one???? :svengo:

the same happens to me. for example yesterday i had 2 small pizza. it felt like rocks. the day before risotto with meat...the same thing. the only food that sits right is light stuff...like corn flakes, small pieces of bagels with yogurt. yogurt in general feels really good.

today i'm going to go with light salads. for lunch i'll go for subway tuna salad and later i'm having lettuce, cherry tomatoes, pepper, salad with feta cheese and piece of chicken breast. just to see how that one sits. i'm not pregnant...well i'm not supposed to be lol...

ah and yesterday i did about 10 minutes elliptical (interval) and steve's exercises. altogether 30 minutes. i felt like shit exercising on the ellitpical especially but i kept going. i have to until the first fatigue goes away and i actually start enjoying it again.

after work i'm meeting my friend tina for lunch and coffee :D ah some good ole girlfriend therapy..doesn't get any better than that :D plus she's a spiritual person so i think i might engage her to talk about it with me. there are many other topics we need to go over before lol
 
lena410 said:
you know the feeling you get when yopu had too much alcohol and just want to forget about ever having one????
Click to expand...

Nope, have no idea what you mean....(NOT) ;)

Maybe you have a touch of a bug and your tummy is telling ya to take it easy...after I have been eating really clean, my stomach will feel that way if I eat something too rich or greasy.

Good job on the elliptical! :hurray:

Have a nice visit with your gf today. :)
 
lena410 said:
and it somehow made me think that i lost my spirituality somewhere along the way.

i don't know what i believe in anymore.

i am perfectly happy and well today lol but i'm kinda confused with myself.

as I was reading today through posts and people's beliefs i realized that my inner voice was being fairly sarcastic in while i was commenting in my mind. and honestly i didn't really like that side of me.

that's just a philosopher me...i did graduate in philosophy
Click to expand...

Glad you feel great and had a great time--I have some things to say

I don't think you've lost your spirituality. I come from the school of thought that "belief" is fixed and closed off. Yoga especially has affirmed my own idea that an open curiosity to what the universe has to offer is the best approach for ME. I almost majored in Philosophy, and I actually liked Nietzsche's tearing down and idioms better than any religion so I know what it's like to be where you're at (I hated his ideas on women but Beyond Good and Evil is one of my favs). What I think is, you just plain don't agree with lots of these people. Their posts and ways of communicating their own spirituality just don't jive with you. It's all the same message! You probably prefer a different articulation. To simplify with a stupid example, a person could say, "Yo bitch, you iz HOT and I'd like to bang YOU." That might not jive! :rotflmao: Maybe if they said, "Lady, you are so beautiful, I'm starting to get turned on despite myself." Same message, different articulation. I see religion similarly. But when I read this post, I think that you're even BEYOND some of the messages, and perhaps you really are looking for inner peace. Which is like the Holy Fucking Grail, LOL! Anyway, soul searching is great and I think it's best to explore an avenue of creativity. For myself, I find inner peace with physical activity and meditation, socializing and dancing. I have more things I want to so, too, but I need to pour that energy into THEM otherwise I'll probably feel STUCK after a while. This is OK. When we get stuck, and we change it up, we get the privilege of learning how great it is to keep it flowing. :D

have a great weekend!
 
Curvie Girlie said:
Glad you feel great and had a great time--I have some things to say

I don't think you've lost your spirituality. I come from the school of thought that "belief" is fixed and closed off. Yoga especially has affirmed my own idea that an open curiosity to what the universe has to offer is the best approach for ME. I almost majored in Philosophy, and I actually liked Nietzsche's tearing down and idioms better than any religion so I know what it's like to be where you're at (I hated his ideas on women but Beyond Good and Evil is one of my favs). What I think is, you just plain don't agree with lots of these people. Their posts and ways of communicating their own spirituality just don't jive with you. It's all the same message! You probably prefer a different articulation. To simplify with a stupid example, a person could say, "Yo bitch, you iz HOT and I'd like to bang YOU." That might not jive! :rotflmao: Maybe if they said, "Lady, you are so beautiful, I'm starting to get turned on despite myself." Same message, different articulation. I see religion similarly. But when I read this post, I think that you're even BEYOND some of the messages, and perhaps you really are looking for inner peace. Which is like the Holy Fucking Grail, LOL! Anyway, soul searching is great and I think it's best to explore an avenue of creativity. For myself, I find inner peace with physical activity and meditation, socializing and dancing. I have more things I want to so, too, but I need to pour that energy into THEM otherwise I'll probably feel STUCK after a while. This is OK. When we get stuck, and we change it up, we get the privilege of learning how great it is to keep it flowing. :D

have a great weekend!
Click to expand...

yes i am in search of a holy grail lol :D the belifs are here and i need the tools in which i can find it. breathing helps...but i was wondering weather i can find more...something that fullfills me on various levels. you just clarified myself to me...like a true philosophical mind.

p.s. i love Nietzsche :D

Steve said:
Happy new year, Lena! Thanks for always stopping by my journal. :)
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aw thanx steve :D its always nice to see your face (or any other part of your body) in here :biggrinjester:
 
:party:i feel like dancing dancing...lalala

i am feeling really good.i eat good, i rest i exercise. lets hope the feeling lasts :)

yesterday and today i mostly eat fish and salads and yogurts.very light indeed. yesterday i did 30 minutes yoga and about 20 minutes brisk walk going home.
i spent the entire afternoon relaxing with tina...talking about life :) she's always so full of positivity. i love that about her. immediately lifts me up even more.

this weekend i'll stay at home and relax, i need it after all the traveling last week :)
plus i got jillian michaels (or whatever her name is) dvd so i'm gonna try me some of that, along with some other exercises. but from what i saw she aint easy. but i'm looking forward to challenging myself a bit.
 
Glad to hear you are feeling good!

It's good you have such a positive person in your life! Those type of people always tend to come in handy during our moments of blah.

Keep up the good attitude and have a great day!
 
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Hi lena. When you stopped posting here before, I missed you a lot too. I'd forgotten how much, until I caught up a teeny bit in this diary. You really put a big smile on my face.
 
Alteredimage said:
Glad to hear you are feeling good!

It's good you have such a positive person in your life! Those type of people always tend to come in handy during our moments of blah.

Keep up the good attitude and have a great day!
Click to expand...

I agree...its so much better to have those kind of people than all the vampires with their negativism. they say attitudes trend to be contagious. i'm starting to agree on that one.
again thanx for stopping by. i need to return the favor :)
felici said:
Hi lena. When you stopped posting here before, I missed you a lot too. I'd forgotten how much, until I caught up a teeny bit in this diary. You really put a big smile on my face.
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thank you :D the minute i saw you on here again i had the biggest smile. its really good to see you back...hope you stay a bit :D
 
its monday i'm in love :)

lalala the good mood persists...a very good thing. i managed to make some delicious meals this weekend. very yummy and pretty low in calories. i'm kinda into making middle east type foods...like shawurma. and i had plenty of salads and fruits. i was even too low on cals yesterday so i baked me some apples with cinnamon, a bit of sugar and butter just to get some more in :)

life is good :D
 
:) I'll be here.

Mmmm. Cinnamon apples! Yum. I love fruit and cinnamon. It's nice when you're feeling so good that you don't notice the non-food time slipping by - AND good that you didn't let yourself get too low.

I hadn't heard of shawurma - it's like a kebab? Shaved meat wrapped in flatbread?
 
Im glad your so happy:)!Ive been on a pretty even playing ground myself:)!

I think maybe you just must have gotten some really good loving in when you were away an dyou are still singing and humming due to that:D!
 
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