Lena's corner

thanx amy :) hug always helps.

i prefer typing, its faster... when i get like this i prefer fast typing and not thinking about what i wrote. i get nervous when i write in a diary hehe. maybe because i would need to focus more on how i really feel, and sometimes i find that very hard. this is somehow easier. just admitting that i have these problems is a huge step.

i started my blog at my space...so i'll write there one of these days when i find more time. i need to sit down and look at everything from the very beginning.

but i'm proud of one thing..i didn't turn to food. i was afraid of this day and i managed to eat the way i have for the past month. i didn't binge. am i starting to really take control? all i can say is - thank goodness!

higs to all of you, Lena
 
i am sorry to hear you feeel like this lena :( but also i am very proud of you for sticking to your good eating. well done :p
 
Lena - this is none of my business but i uncovered my ears when you were venting and i can totally relate... The bottle affects so much more than the person who's doing the drinking - and while I do understand the addictive personality to some degree -it's also an incredibly selfish thing tha they do - even if they do it unintentionally to those they love.

the only person that can help them is themselves, and if they won't seek help -well then you have to take care of yourself. Have you considered going to Al-Anon meetings -it's an alcoholics anonymous meeting for families and friends of peolpe who have a problem with alcohol and gives you a place to discuss it with others who are currently going thru it - or have gone thru it (not that you are not welcome to vent here whenever you want)

AA does have online meetings if there's one that doesn't meet your time frame - so I'd be willing to bet that Al-Anon does too...

Don't stop talking about it - and don't stop taking care of yourself...
 
Oh Lena,

Many, many hugs to you!
Sometimes that fast typing, stream of thoughts, is a good way for getting off your chest what you're holding in.

And you're right - there really isn't comfort in food - it fills the belly...it really doesn't replace the dad you're missing when he's drinking.

Good for you for recognizing that, and not turning to food.

Stand strong girl, you will get passed this time,
Hugs,
 
thank you so much everyone. i never talked about this with anyone because i don't like to bother people with my problems. so now reading your replies made me cry...its difficult to put things out in to the open.

mal, i'll try finding something online. because here in croatia you don't have these AN groups and especially not Al-Anon groups. thank you.

i feel much better today, at least when it comes to my dad. i do understand the addictive personality, i have it too in a way...food was my addiction. and i'm recovering now. but i know i'll need some help with that, either professional or through online support. but will still use venting here once and a while. its helping a lot :)

but now some good news. i lost some weight :) 3.3 pounds to be exact :) now that is definitely something to cheer me up :D so i'll be updating my ticker later on.

thank you again ladies for being my shoulder to cry on. i appreciate it more than you can imagine.

hugs to you all, Lena
 
3.3 pounds! eeeeeeeeeeeee :D
well done hun that is fab! glad to hear you are feeling a better - we are always here if you want to talk. good luck with finding something online :)
have a really good day - you deserve it
sophie x
 
hehe thanx sophie :) i'm at work now, but i think i'll be heading home soon because i have high fever and i came just to pick up some papers. and its raining. so no exercise for me until i get healthy. but its still a good day. have a great day at school sophie :)
 
yeah - go and get some rest .. theres no point pushing yourself too hard when youre sick else you will probably just make it worse.
have a nice day and get well soon x
 
so went to doctor's and i have to stay at home for next few days. i hate this, especially when i know i have lots to do at work. and i hate especially because i can't do my workout tomorrow. how great is that lol

anyway, did ok with my food intake today:
breakfast: nestle whole grain cheerios with low fat yogurt
snack: i had incredible urge for sour so i had sourkrout salad (sour cabbage with garlic and 1 tea spoon olive oil)
lunch: i don't know how to translate this correctly - its beef liver cooked on onions and then you put some mashed tomatoes, one potato and water. i guess its some kind of a stew. we call it liver paprikash
snack: 1 large orange
dinner: green pasta with tuna sauce (onions, garlic, tomatoes and tuna canned-no oil)
ate only half of my dinner, and it wasn't evena whole serving. well at least i'm getting enough water.
 
i'm at home. was so sad when i called the gym that i wont be able to come (we have to do this because everyone seems to want to go to this particular place...can't blame them, the instructors are great, so if you don't come for 2 times they remove you from the group - its safer when you call lol). well i'll just do more next week.
i feel really weak from being sick. i'm sneezing like a mad man. but i'm still managing. did a bit high carbs thing today.

had wholegrain toast for breakfast with low fat yogurt and some chicken breasts ham.
lunch: two burritos - cooked veggies and chicken teriyaki
dinner: will only have tomatoes and lettuce with 1 tea spoon olive oil and some vinegar.

there is also one thing i just have to share. i had a longterm relationship with this guy (5 1/2 years). he broke it off last june because he didn't want to pressure me into quitting my job and coming to live at his hometown, he thaught he couldn't offer me anything. he couldn't come to my country because he had to take care of his folks, younger brother and sister who is a single mom of two. but he told me a completely different story, said he wasn't ready for us living together, and my going to budapest for a year will only bring us even more apart...etc etc. i found out the truth when we saw each other again in august and he couldn't get his hands off me lol.
did he actually think he was noble? anyway, we kept in touch all this time. i stopped calling him and all, but he was the one who actually had more trouble letting go. how do you let go of a best friend? so now he slowly came to realize that he can't live without me. we'll probabily see each other in april, because i have a workshop near him and he called me yesterday to tell me that he has two months to sweap me of my feet. well lets see how that goes. he started by sending me an sms this morning with some kind of romantic quote lol. i do love him though and can see myself with him but i won't forgive him just like that...i'll make him sweat a little lol. MEN!!!! :D
 
lena410 said:
cinderelly you can have any kind, i have them all (you can even have hot chocolate...i'm having all the forbidden stuff here and they're all calorie free, can you imagine that??? lol)
Click to expand...

Well then, i need to drop by more often, LOL!!! Congrats on your loss, hoping you get better soon...
 
Congrats on the 3lb! Fantastic and yay for getting swept off your feet - hope it works out well!! :D:D
 
thanx all :)

cind drop by and help yourself with anything you want anytime :)

amy i hope so too lol and i hope your job goes well.

well i'm still sick, but feeling better, at least the fever's down. i wish i could go walking...i could use one long walk to clear my head.

anyway, i started creating my space so i'll put a link when i have it ready :)

foods today:
breakfast: ham and cheese whole grain sandwich (2 slices of bread)
lunch: mashed potato with beans and baby carrots (mashed only with a little bit of salt and 1 tea spoon olive oil), one turkey breast fillet... i tea spoon olive oil;
will have:
snack: low fat probiotic yogurt, 100 grams
dinner: leftover veggies from yesterday and two small eggs omlette (don't know how its spelled lol)
 
I thought to have a peek to your diary too...seems like you're doing a great job! 5 kg already...I'm sure you'll do it!

:):):)

Venice girl
 
feel free to peek any time venice girl :)

i went for a short walk...bad idea i know but i couldn't sit at home anymore even if i am sick. i hate laying around doing nothing. and to think i would be glad to do just that only one month ago lol
 
you never know.. the fresh air might actually help you on your way to good health! and dont you think that it is ace that you actually want/ crave to exercise now??
and the spelling is omelette i think.
:D
 
Sophie335 said:
you never know.. the fresh air might actually help you on your way to good health! and dont you think that it is ace that you actually want/ crave to exercise now??
and the spelling is omelette i think.
:D
Click to expand...

probabily, but the air wasn't fresh lol raining and fog. but i feel lot better today, even if my throat is still sore. and i'll probabily go for a walk later. i definitely crave exercise and if someone told me this few months ago i definitely wouldn't believe them.
thanx for the spelling tip :)
for breakfast i had small turkey ham & cheese sandwich and will have green pasta with gamberetti for lunch (yum).
don't know yet what i'll have for dinner. any suggestions?
 
I'm glad to hear you're feeling better, Lena.
a suggestion for your dinner: rice and vegetables. Rice is so much better than pasta or bread and if you take "integrale" (don't know how to say that in english, hopefully you'll understand the italian), it's got a lot of proteins which are good for your muscles.
Or you can eat some meat, usually better for the evening so that you can avoid carbs.
 
Hi Lena!! Glad you're feeling better! If someone would have told me 5 months ago that I too would crave exercise I probably would have laughed in their face too!..lol. But it's been two weeks since I've had a good walk (i hate winter!) and I feel both guilty and a little cooped up.

Have a great weekend!! :D:D
 
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