larae's diary - weight loss journey prep

[laraecs]

Alright so, this is my first diary entry and I'm really excited! This is the first time in my life I've ever been really serious about losing weight and getting healthy. Food and weight have been my whole life for as long as I can remember. I have always been overweight; I have no idea what it's like to be thin. I think that this fact is part of the reason why I've remained overweight for so long; being fat is all I know... it's comforting to me. The idea of completely overhauling and changing my lifestyle scares me so much that up until this point, I've avoided it completely. But I know it's something I have to do. I know that if I continue with my current lifestyle of eating junk/over eating/not exercising, I will gain more and more weight and endanger my health in my future. My mother has diabetes, so I'm at especially high risk for that. Also, my self-esteem and self-image is (and always has been) extremely low. I think that if I lose weight, I would become more confident and the way I view myself would change. And honestly at the end of the day, to me it's not about the numbers on the scale or the size of my jeans. It's the way I think about myself when I look in the mirror. I've always been that girl who avoids mirrors whenever she can because looking at my body is too painful, too embarassing, too disappointing to withstand. For once, I just want to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself, and think, Wow, I'm beautiful.
Today is December 30th, 2009. I begin my new life in 1 day. So, for the record, here are my current stats:

HEIGHT: 4'11"
CURRENT WEIGHT: 175 lbs
GOAL WEIGHT: Between 115 and 100 lbs
START DATE: January 1st, 2010
TIMEFRAME FOR WEIGHT LOSS: Approx. 6 months (24 weeks)
WEIGHT LOSS PLAN: I plan to stop eating at fast food places and restaurants; while it is cheap and convenient, it is extreme unhealthy. I plan to eat no more than 1200 calories a day, eat less sugar and fat, and more protein and fibre. Also, I plan to exercise for at LEAST 30 minutes every day (with a treadmill in my basement, this should be simple enough). If I start to get lazy or tempted, I will ask my friends and family for support to help me through the rough patches.

Well, I guess thats it for my first entry. I'll update again on January 1st, the day my weight loss journey is scheduled to begin. 2010 is gonna be MY year, I can feel it! Wish me luck!

 

[laraecs]

larae's diary - first day.. kinda

Happy new year everyone! Today was a strange one for me in terms of weight. I got home VERY late from new years partying (6 am) and therefore woke up at 4 pm. So my "breakfast" was consumed at 5 pm, and consisted of three mini spring rolls (the hors d'ouevres kind) with some sauce. I also drank some sugary fruit juice which is bad I know, but I was hungover and irritated and wanted something sweet. Then at about 7:30 I was feeling hungry, so I made a Lean Cuisine meal and drank a glass of Crystal Light. My plan was to eat dinner and go straight to the basement and walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes. But when I went downstairs, the treadmill wasn't set up (I forgot my Dad had put it away for Christmas eve). So when I called my dad downstairs to put the treadmill up for me, he told me that he was too tired and that I shouldnt even be exercising anyway since I just ate. He actually told me NOT to exercise! A first, in my life at least. The weird thing is, I really and truly do want to exercise. But I cant. So I guess I'll just wake up early tomorrow and do it. By the way, I'm going to brunch tomorrow with my family and my sister's fiancee's family. I hope that goes well and I find something okay to eat. Ugh, I dont wanna be a lazy ass so I'm gonna go do some sit-ups and pushups and stuff; it cant hurt. What a sucky start to my weight-loss journey! But whatever, I'll start for REAL tomorrow.
xoxo!