Ladies: Ever been asked "When are you due?" when you're NOT PREGNANT?

patsfan

patsfan

New member
It's only happened to me twice- once in the last year, which was so humiliating. I was slimmer than I'd been in many many years and this woman looks at me and says "Oh, you're expecting! When are you due?"

In front of my boyfriend.

This was something I'd told myself to just forget. Put it in the back of my mind and never ever think about it again. People can't help it if they're idiots, right? :mad:

But I remembered it the other day for some reason, and wondered how many other people this has happened to.

I just can't believe people ask questions like that.

So has this ever happened to you? How did you deal with it?
 
that is a question I will never ever ask someone - even if they are ready to pop any day.. there's a woman who works about 7 cubes down from me - asked me today why i haven't asked about her pregnancy - and I said -honestly - I didn't want to assume she was pregnant jst in case she really wasn't :)

yeah I've been asked - it's not fun :)
 
years ago...about a year after two very close together pregnancies...went to ER with a UTI and the physician asked me if I was pregnant....oh man.... :(
 
My problem area is my stomach and when I started to put on wieght, I think I was 180 at the time, I had these jumper dresses and a few people asked me when I was due when I wore them. Honestly, it didn't really surprise me because my stomach is my most problimatic area and I, in all honesty, did kind of look pregnant. I actually laugh about it now all though in all fairness, no one asked me that in front of my boyfriend. After gaining even more weight though, no one asks me that any more. You could tell at this point that I am simply fat.

You may want to look at it this way. You obviously lost wieght in other parts of you body it's just taking a bit longer for your stomach to catch up but it will so in a weird way, it's KIND of a good thing. I know that sounds strange but it's kind of a good thing when you think about it in that way.
 
Yeah, I'm totally not an asker. I think I was about 5 months post pardem with my son when a cashier at the grocery store asked me if I was pregnant again. I said no, just fat and she said "oh, maybe its time to lose the baby weight!" all chipper like she was telling me there was a blue light special on isle 7. I about jumped over the counter and strangled her. Instead I told her she needed to stop bleaching her hair or move to a trailer park.
 
Iwan naloseit said:
Yeah, I'm totally not an asker. I think I was about 5 months post pardem with my son when a cashier at the grocery store asked me if I was pregnant again. I said no, just fat and she said "oh, maybe its time to lose the baby weight!" all chipper like she was telling me there was a blue light special on isle 7. I about jumped over the counter and strangled her. Instead I told her she needed to stop bleaching her hair or move to a trailer park.
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Bwahahaha! That's awesome!
 
Iwan naloseit said:
I told her she needed to stop bleaching her hair or move to a trailer park.
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ROFL at your reply. The second comment she made was even MORE out of line than the first one!!

Someone did ask me when I was due, just after I joined this forum and started feeling confident that I had finally cracked the secret of turning things around.

I didn't know her. I was just collecting a parcel from a store.

Actually I didn't feel all that bad. I just thought:
- oh she is going to feel so bad that she asked that. (Cause other people I know have told me about times when they made that mistake and they still felt like crawling under a rock days later.)
- I do look like I'm about to explode.
- I should feel ashamed, and I do a smidge, but not much, cause I am unfastening this fat suit!
 
i only got asked once, when i was still on maternity leave after having my first. i met a work colleague, who asked when it was due. mind you it was a man! i still had a biggish belly, but i had been absolutely huge before i delivered. no way i could be mistaken for almost 9 months (ok maybe 4 or 5 months)
 
What a terrible question.....

I, being a man have never experienced it personally, but I have sure seen it in action. I have seen my friends do the old "congratulations! Do you know if its a boy or a girl?" thing several times before....... And only once was it the correct question. I have seen the reactions of the women asked go anywhere from shy amusement to donwright bawling...... Personally after seeing women actualy break down and cry after being asked I have never and would never make that assumption, unless of course shes wearing a baby on board teeshirt. And even then......

sirant
 
Iwan naloseit said:
Instead I told her she needed to stop bleaching her hair or move to a trailer park.
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LOL!

As for the original question, I was asked this once, by a little girl at some county fair. When I was fifteen. You can imagine how I felt after that :(

I was about 175, which is overweight (I'm 5'7), but not that overweight. Or so I thought, anyway.
 
When I was quite young I poked out my belly and my mum said 'you look pregnant!' im not quite sure whether she was trying to say 'lose some weight!' or being funny, was a little weird at the time...
 
I was about 148lbs and I went to my neighbor's grandaughter's birthday party and a little girl came up to me and asked me when I was gonna have my baby. I was SO upset. I still remember to this day. Damn kid. lol. I'm kidding. She was like 7 years old! Haha...but yeah, bleh..been there too. ;)
 
I have had this happen as well when I used to work with young children. It happened a lot and I really don't think they meant anything by it.

What did bother me was this:
In the summer I usually work a part time job along with my full time job. I have worked in the same place for the past couple of years. Last year, the owners son, who is 13, kept asking me why I am so FAT. It wasn't like he only asked once, but instead he followed me around asking until his mother finally told him to stop. Everyone I worked with heard him and that made it really embarrassing.

UGH! It still bothers me just typing about it.
 
I have been asked 5 times.

The first time was a little over a year ago, when my coworker(who is now one of my closest friends) asked me to sit in the car with her 5 year old daughter(who now refers to me as her sister) she asked if I was going to have a baby.
I didn't think much of it because she is so young....but....

Last year in April I was asked 4 times while I was at work.

The first time in April, my co-worker(not a bright guy) said loudly in front of everyone we worked with "hey Brittany, some lady asked me today if you are expecting." it was followed by DEAD SILENCE.
I couldn't sleep all night, and I was like a zombie the next day until my friend/coworker pulled me aside and forced me to tell her what happened. She made the guy apologise to me, and told him to never say something like that to a woman again.

The next time, I was doing a double count of like 20,000.00 cash, and before we started, the woman asked me if I was pregnant. I had to stand there and fight off tears the whole time we were counting her money.

The third time, some man asked me while his wife was sitting right next to him. I just said "Nope!" with a cheerful voice, and changed the subject back to their finances.

The fourth time was similar to that, except at that point, I was about to just cut off my belly with the scissors in my desk drawer.

I will never forget that feeling. It was right when I started to put on ALOT of weight, and it's really made such a huge difference in my self esteem.

The rational part of me just knows that these people were trying to find a reason as to why I was gaining weight. I worked in a small credit union, and saw the same people all the time, so they were just trying to find a reasonable answer.

The sensitive part of me still wants to cry just thinking about all of those times. I cannot fathom EVER asking a woman that question. The thing is that I wasn't even HUGE. I had just put on a weight in my stomach area, but I wasn't HUGE at all.

I am so sensitive about my belly now, I wont even let my boyfriend touch it. Sometimes I wonder if I will let him when my belly is flat. I am just so sensitive about it now.
 
Oh Britta that breaks my heart!! Don't worry, it will be flat!! You can do it! My BF has one of the flattest belly's I've ever seen, and he made a comment about mine when I was 155 lbs--"It could be flatter." Boy did I give it to him after that! But now that I have a slim middle, I love it when he touches me--and he touches my stomach all the time now. It feels great--I can't wait until you feel the same!
 
When I was 18, I weighed 145(my goal) and it was a very healthy weight for me. My boyfriend made a comment like "have you SEEN your stomach?" I've never forgotten it.

** just wanted to add that this was not my current BF!
 
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Britta Bear said:
I have been asked 5 times.

The first time was a little over a year ago, when my coworker(who is now one of my closest friends) asked me to sit in the car with her 5 year old daughter(who now refers to me as her sister) she asked if I was going to have a baby.
I didn't think much of it because she is so young....but....

Last year in April I was asked 4 times while I was at work.

The first time in April, my co-worker(not a bright guy) said loudly in front of everyone we worked with "hey Brittany, some lady asked me today if you are expecting." it was followed by DEAD SILENCE.
I couldn't sleep all night, and I was like a zombie the next day until my friend/coworker pulled me aside and forced me to tell her what happened. She made the guy apologise to me, and told him to never say something like that to a woman again.
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People can be jerks. Just remember, you are not your weight. Weight is something that can be changed. If someone tell you that you look pregnant or your fat or whatever, this is something that is not YOU, and you can always change.

I know it stills hurts, but whether you dwell on it or not is your decision. I see you've been losing weight; that's amazing. I'm just starting and it is so hard. Hopefully we'll both some day be "thin" but even then, I know, life will not be perfect and people will still criticize us for something.
 
helga said:
People can be jerks. Just remember, you are not your weight. Weight is something that can be changed. If someone tell you that you look pregnant or your fat or whatever, this is something that is not YOU, and you can always change.

I know it stills hurts, but whether you dwell on it or not is your decision. I see you've been losing weight; that's amazing. I'm just starting and it is so hard. Hopefully we'll both some day be "thin" but even then, I know, life will not be perfect and people will still criticize us for something.
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Thanks :) I can only imagine how the women who asked felt afterwards. Even the men must have felt like asses. I know now that it's not my problem that they are stupid enough to be so rude. Sometimes I just dont understand what people are thinkng.
And even if I saw a woman who looked pregnant, I wouldn't talk about it. Even if it was obvious that she IS, because at that point, every stranger is coming up and wanting to touch your belly....hahha at least i didn't get that.

My coworker/friend and I still joke that when I go back to work there, and I will have lost weight, if someone asks how my baby is (I'm assuming some dumb people will think I'm on maternity leave not knowing about my granna), I will tell them I dropped it on it's head and then sold it into slavery.
Seriously, if I weren't at work, I would have probably made up some story about how I was pregnant with Tom Cruises baby...at stupid question like that deserves a stupid answer.
 
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