Kelly's Bringing It!!

thanks angel. I'm one of those annoying people who wants to discuss when there's a problem, and not just ignore it. So when I have no one to discuss it with, it just chips away at my mood all day.

Feeling a bit better today than I did yesterday, although still haven't had a chance to discuss it with the person that I need to. I spoke to my best friend a little about it last night. I hate airing my laundry so to speak and I almost never talk about arguments or problems with a relationship i'm in, mostly cause this relationship never has problems, but also because whether someone does you wrong or not, you're still in charge of how you handle it. i'm a big believer in not being a hypocrite, or using someone's actions as an excuse to not control yourself. Anyway, I spoke to her and she made me laugh and told me not to make myself sick over it at least until I have a conversation with the bf. A conversation that i'd really prefer NOT be on the phone, but unless I want to postpone it for weeks thats my only option. Lamesauce.

Anyway, goal today, focus on my routine as usual. I kind of want to go get some yarn and learn how to crochet a hat! lol. I've only ever been able to crochet one measly little chain but I watched videos on utube how to make a hat and it looks relatively easy and that'd give me something to do.

On the POSITIVE NEWS front! I did -not- give into temptation to feed my emotions yesterday! weeeee!!!! I'm so proud of myself. A few years ago, i'd have either gone straight for all the worst things for me, or done a shot or two of tequila (yuck). I did no such thing! I ate what I was supposed to eat. Even AFTER I road with my mom to get her and the other 6 people in this house hamburgers/fries. lol so this HUGE bag of fast food was sitting on my lap on the way back, and then I sipped on my water while they all devoured the fast food. I admit I may have looked longingly at the french fries (that was my first word after all) but I didn't touch.

For my reward, i'm down to 208.9 today. only .3 lb loss but after being at 209.2 for three days, i'm very happy to see that 8. Tomorrow is the weigh in for the august challenge and i'm hoping i'll miraculously lose another pound tomorrow to at least say i'm down 2 this week.

But even if i'm not, I still have good news. Today is day 20 of my first 30 days of P90X, and since starting the workouts I believe I have lost 8-9lbs. *happy dance*
 
Last edited:
meh. Having issues with my eating today. I guess my mood isn't quite where it should be.
I've only had two shakes today. Thats only 200 calories, and its 3:30.
I guess I should be glad i'm not the type to stuff my face when i'm sad.
My water's fine at least, drinking a lot. But I need to get myself to eat something soon.
 
She's a ...

WINNER!!! :party:

I'm so glad you're hanging in there and even lost some weight!

Being patient is SO hard for me. I personally think though, you're making incredibly wise decisions. lol. I only say so because its so unusual! I like talking about problems too because most people don't and it gets even worse as it goes on.

Crocheting is a blast! I used to crochet all the time, I've made some neat bags, never made a hat but its the same idea. Its a great pastime in the winter or on long trips or whenever. The only reason I quit is that I ran out of cool things to make. I reached crochet saturation I guess lol. I then picked up knitting and made some cozy little blankets.

Good luck with that and loosing that next pound... Yaaay for sticking with it!
 
Well I have a lot of experience in dealing with things poorly I guess lol
That ex I talked about and I had horrrriiiibbbllee communication. Every argument was practically scripted right from the last one, we never made any ground at all. I was so screwed up after him I actually got put in counseling and for depression, when I really don't think I was depressed. I mean other than feeling like a retard for staying with that guy, I had just been around his screwed up attitude so long I was stuck in a cycle of negativity.

Anyway, FINALLY at 11:30 tonight the bf txted me. Long story super duper short, there was a perfectly legitimate reason for everything and its been backed up by members of his family, and everything is fine. Which makes me glad I didn't go snap his head off as my first impulse urged me to do lol.

I tried to crochet a blanket once. Like I said all I ever knew how to do was do a single chain, so i figured oh i'll just do a single chain over and over. Well, it took FOREVER and I only completed maybe... 1/10th of a blanket, and the edges kept angling inward on me so it eventually looked like a freaky trapazoid thing. It was seriously pathetic I ended up giving it to my moms dogs to drool on lol. But the video I saw on youtube was very step my step and easy to follow. I have issues with keeping my chains uniform sometimes, but that comes with practice I guess and I haven't crocheted in ... jeez... a couple years I guess.

On the eating front, I got in 1 more shake for a total of 3, and some chicken for dinner. no veggies. Oh, and I may or may not have eating some fat free gummy candies. 1 serving, 140 calories. As low as my calorie count was today i'm pretty sure it won't effect me horribly. And of course my water was through the roof, as usual, never have had a problem drinking that stuff.

I totally failed at getting my workout in today though. My mom got a new TC helicon voicelive2!
My mom, step dad and I all sing and play instruments, and they've been in and out of bands for a few years. Neither is really trained in singing, but moms played guitar and written songs since she was 7 and has a pretty good voice, and my step dad jim plays bass and guitar and sings pretty well too, in his own rough sort of way. I on the other hand was classically trained for 7 years and play classic dorky instruments like clarinet, sax, irish flutes, etc. So my sound is much more... i dunno... operatic? choirish? anyway it doesn't fit the things they want to sing, and every time they want me to go out there and work on harmonies with them I get frustrated that I can't sing like they do, and they get frustrated that they don't sing like I do lol. I am just cursed with a very "celtic woman" sort of voice, and it will never have that rough quality people singing on the radio have.
So the garage where I happen to work out, also moonlights as the rehearsal studio, and the new toy HAD to be played with. ALL DAY. I mean seriously, we were out there in a humid nasty 97 degree garage playing with alll the voice options and pulling out guitars and basses and drum boxes and being silly. Does that count as a work out? It should. I'm just going to count it as my rest day, and keep on keepin' on.
 
Last edited:
From 208.9 to 208 today :D -2lbs for this week's august challenge!

*HAPPY DANCE*

I just noticed my bmi is below obese now! I'm just plain ole fashioned over weight.
22lbs down, about 23 more to get to my november goal. I'm shooting for 185 but anything between 190 and 180 will do me just fine! Then just another 20lbs to 165! I dont know when i'll hit that, but once I hit 180 I won't care how long it takes because it will all be new ground and i'll just be happy to be in it!

I never went and got any yarn yesterday, so I think i'll take a shower and get all dressed up and pretty and go out with my mom shopping. being here just around her and her step kids I never have any reason to get all pretty. I wonder how my jeans fit today lol
 
So normally I weight around 2lbs heavier in the evening than in the morning.
Tonight for shits and giggles I weighed myself after I got all in my jammies and ready for bed. 208.2. I can't weight to see that big shiny 7 (dare I hope for a 6? naaah) tomorrow morning.

The bf is coming up this weekend (yay) for some much needed time together, so I probably won't be checking in here till monday or late sunday.

oh! I made my crochet hat! well.. I made two. the first one sucked. like really sucked. Then I realized the mistake I'd been making and re-did it, and its all cute now. THEN just to be a show off I made a crochet flower with 3 layers (yeah baby i'm a badass). Unfortunately, I can't figure out how to attach then damn thing to the hat. Oh well, that was enough creativity for one day I guess, i'll figure it out later. I'm just glad I made something that looks like what it should be, before now i've never made anything other than a single chain, and even that was a stretch lol.
 
207.1! lost a whole 1.1lbs in mah sleep!
man I wish all I had to do was sleep to lose weight. I'd be all OVER that :)

So i'm up and showered and waiting for my coffee to brew. You ever look at yourself in the mirror after you lose some weight and go "well.... -somethings- different.... but I can't figure out what..."? I did that a lot this morning.

Goal this weekend: Don't -gain- anything while the bf is here! I fully expect to weigh in monday morning and see a big fat 206 darnit!
 
Oh me GOSH!

Lost weight and crocheted. You really ought to post a pic of this hat. Seeing as I've never made one I'd like to see how it turned out! Hah. You're just a lady of raw talent lol. You have no idea how long it took me to figure out crochet hahaha

Congrats on the weight loss! Thats AWESOME.

Hope you have a great weekend.
 
*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*
aaah what I lovely weekend. well, 24 hours anyway.
bf drove up around noon yesterday. It was sooo good to see him again, I haven't seen him since.. crap.. july 21st or so. He had to leave this morning around lunchtime, and it reminded me of when we first started dating and he'd drop me off at my house or have to leave and it sucked so bad because I had to wait another week to see him again, when we first started dating our work schedules only let us see each other 1 day a week. Being together for nearly 2 years you lose that big rush of emotion you get when you see them when they get home or when they leave. But take yourself away where you only see them once a month the last 3 months in a row, and its like being dorky lovey kids again *insert "awwww" here* needless to say it was great.

Last time he saw me i'd only lost about 15lbs, and last night he kept going on about how good I looked :) now that i'm at -23. Oh and as far as my goal to not gain while I was with him, I'm pretty sure I nailed it. Weighing myself just a second ago, after eating today already i'm only at 208, so I should still be at 207 if now lower tomorrow morning. I did pretty well in my eating while he was here. All I had were some Parmesan/garlic grilled chicken wings for lunch, and a 6 inch flatbread sandwich from subway (turkey, spinach, onions, banana peppers, and vinegar if it matters lol)
I've pretty much cut bread out of my diet entirely before then, so I was half expecting that sandwich to do me in and make me gain 100lbs overnight or something lol

Happy Dance! If things keep going so well i'm going to have a heck of a loss to record on my weekly august challenge next week, which will be nice after weeks of slow losing. Bad thing is though I didn't work out the last 2 days in a row. one was a rest day, one was just cause the bf was here. but I think i burned enough calories anyway, wink wink.

Wow i'm a nerd.
 
Last edited:
Remember how I said my goal this weekend was to not gain anything while the bf was here, and to see a big fat 6 on monday morning?
well....
206.4!

seriously, I think my body feels sorry for me that i'm going to get my period next week so its trying to help me lose before I get stuck that entire week like I always do lol.
I'm just happy to be setting goals and making them. Every other time i've attempted to lose weight I don't know why my heart wasn't in it, but i'd say "ok I want to not cheat this weekend" and do it anyway. Then whine about how I wasn't making any progress. I guess I took myself seriously this time :)

On the beanie front! I've made three now! I can take pictures of them if you want angel. Yesterday I figured out how to make one with alternating colors. Now I just wish I had more colors to play with, all I have right now is gray pink and green.
 
Last edited:
Wow wow wow! Thats awesome you can predict your weight loss..

Its also such a great feeling to be able to take it seriously! For me its been a loooong time in coming. I hope I have changed my mind enough to really make this change for good.

I second that too, last time I gained 3 lbs during that time of the month. Its disturbing but it does fall off after. I have to remind myself not to look at the scale this time. But its true, my eating goes spastic with sugar cravings etc! I definitely can wait for it!

And I'd love to see your hats! They sound coooool.
 
crud. 206.9. only up .5 lbs, but safe to say the PMS water weight party has begun lol. I'll be chugging a whole heckofalotta water the next two days, cause i'm gonna be really bummed out if my weekly weigh-in for the august challenge gets screwed up by this.

So today since I have nothing better to do with myself, i'm going to attempt to crochet a scarf. Why am I crocheting a scarf in the middle of august, in texas? pfft, iono. Cause I can baby thats why! Well, more like its a different kind of stitch. The hat was getting too easy, I wanted something different that would be challenging at least for a while.
Its sort of creepy how easily I get sucked into it. Yesterday my mom step dad and 5 step siblings all left to go to some family member's house for a "fantasy football draft party" (yeah, my step dad is THAT much of a dork.) Anyway I got some MUCH needed time alone, and what do I do? I sit in one spot, put Ghost Hunters episodes on my computer, stick my headphones on, and totally zoned out listening to that and crocheting.... the entire 3 hours they were gone. I only looked up when they got back, then noticed 'oh wow my fingers kind of hurt... what time is it..' lol i'm only a couple felines away from being a crazy cat lady hahahaha

I didn't forget about the pics angel, but I can't find my friggin charger for my camera. Still looking!
 
Sooooo... I may have eaten mexican food last night.

ok so I DID eat mexican food last night. Nothing disgustingly bad for me, just grilled chicken, rice, corn tortilla etc. I don't feel too bad about it either, which is new. Usually on a diet if I "cheat" my whooole mood goes to crap and I go binge because "well I screwed up this day anyway" etc etc. But I figured hey, I've been super low cal/low fat/working out/drinking water/thinking about food and weight and calories 24/7 for three freaking months, it wont destroy me if I go have dinner with my mom. I didn't over eat, nothing fried. I can actually tentatively say I might survive in the real world making better food choices!

Physically, I'm feeling pretty crappy the last few days though. Is it weird to think that before I watched what I ate, I never really knew what PMS fully entailed? I mean I'd hear about being feeling bloated and gross, and I never understood that. Now that I drink water all day every day, I know what it feels like if I don't drink enough, the next day my ring is tight on my finger and I feel like... poofy lol. That's how i've been feeling the last 2 days or so, and its really not fun. lol I told my bf I feel like a beached manatee, all floppin around with nowhere to go. I'm elaborate like that.

Here's the other problem too. I'm running out of shakes. For people who don't know, I've been doing a liquid based diet this whole time. Wonderslim, if you want to look it up. High protein/low fat shakes all day, 1 protein bar a day, and then a meal of lean meat and veggies once a day. The shakes are awesome and most of the bars taste great (not a fan of the brownie ones, but i dont like regular brownies anyway). There's also meal replacements that are in the form of actual food, that are just like the shakes nutritionally (high protein low fat) like spicy pasta, chili, sloppy joe, texmex chicken, cereal, cheesecake etc. Add water, nuke in the microwave, ta-da, dinner.

Anyway, I had a 3 month supply. My 3 months will be up on the 23rd, and I DO have enough left for maybe a few more weeks, just from days of not having all my shakes. after you drink nothing but shakes for a month your appetite is nil, I never drink the full 6 im supposed to have a day, I average 4-5 before dinner. And I almost always skipped the meal replacements at first and just stuck to shakes, so I have a bunch of those left too.

My concern is going through all of those, then falling on both feet back into "normal" food. I'd rather slowly taper the shakes and reintroduce healthy foods. So I've been trying to stretch the shakes and meal replacements and make them last, and i've been trying to add 2 real food meals a day instead of 1. We'll see how I do after a while I guess! My biggest concern I think is that my appetite will come back. Having 100 calories pumped into me every 2 hours for the last 3 months, my blood sugars been outstanding and my appetite is next to nothing because I get nutrition all day every day. I think if I can switch it so that my shakes become my snacks, so i'm still getting those 100 cals every few hours, as long as my meals are healthy I won't freak out and just gorge myself on stuff thats bad for me. when you get hungry everything sounds good, thats my biggest problem. never get hungry!
 
Ugh.
Why hello allergies, fancy seeing you here!
Well, as far as I know I don't have and never HAVE had allergies, but thats the only explanation for how miserable I feel. My eyes go from dry and itchy to randomly tearing up, had a massive headache the last 2 days in a row, my head feels kind of stuffy and floaty and just generally feeling really crappy.
As a result (or maybe a subconscious excuse) my eating has been really... sporadic.
Normally I eat every 2-3 hours, usually shakes or small snacks. Lately though i've been eating breakfast, then not eating again until like 3pm, maybe a snack around 5, and dinner at 7. And i've been not wanting to cook so when I eat real food its like... lean pockets, multigrain rice cakes, or my usual chicken/veggies, and last night I tried adding half a cup of rice. not really -BAD- for me I guess, but different than my usual, and i'm wondering if thats contributing to my headache, because I haven't eaten anything processed in a long time, and I haven't eaten any grains or rice either. I'm going to try to stick to all shakes today and see if that helps at all.

On the good side of things, yesterday was my step brothers 16th B day. We had yummy home made chicken stir fry (so good) and thats what I added a half cup of rice too. For his b day cake we got a dessert pizza thing, like a big cookie cake with icecream and icing and stuff on top. And I didn't eat any of it! They even offered me fat free ice cream and I turned it down. I did have a popsicle later, but those are my usual dessert when I feel the urge, only 40 cals, wee. I didn't really want any cake anyway, I was proud of me, yay!
 
I'm 5'10 as well! Yay for tall ladies! :p Anyway, just stopping by to send good vibes and tell you how jealous I am that you had Mexican food. Adoreeeee it. Keep fighting!
 
Hey hey Kelly! Way to go on the birthday celebration... its part of the body training though, saying no, I really don't need that! (Super hard at times :S )

You should consider getting another supply of shakes etc. I learned psychologically the thought of me running out of food, or going hungry makes me ravenous, and really anxious. So, if I have food, and feel content and don't eat it, I feel fine, but if I'm feeling a lack of food, I get so hungry and almost panicky, and end up eating everything in site when I get too it.

Also, 3 months is nothing in the big scheme of things, your weight loss goal should be reaaaaly long term. You don't want to fall off the wagon now either. Not when you're doin so good :)

It is really hard learning how to eat the right amounts of normal food. So I guess I'm going about it the slower way. Still, when I lost all my weight it was from the 7 day cabbage diet. I rebounded a couple of pounds after, but was able to keep most of it off. The thing is, with my gaining, I've put on only like 5 a year. So maybe, if I diet harshly with shakes, it could work as long as I could maintain, which I almost do, but not quite. Its hard to know. Maybe I'll try it in short amounts of time. I need the weight to fall off!

Well I'm just musing. Its always fun to read your diary you're so entertaining and I like how you're making progress!
 
yeah i'm thinking of looking around on ebay for some more shakes. I originally got the 3 month supply for 500 bucks, which considering is a lot cheaper than some of the other shake diets, medifast optifast etc. But last time I checked the site they'd upped the price a little bit and I don't have the money for another 3 months, or 2 months. But I know people sell their leftovers on ebay but I haven't looked for them lately.

speaking of ebay, i'm what you call a makeup whore. lol well, I have little reason to wear it around here, but i'm stocking up for renfest in october, where I'm always recruited to do everyones makeup, and there's probably 10 girls that go in our group and they all want cool makeup to go with their costumes. So I'm a big fan of ELF cosmetics. They're cheap as dirt and actually work very well for me. I got ten free eyeshadow sets from them the other day for ordering 20 bucks worth of stuff. yay! However, those eyeshadows are pretty general I guess, not wacky weird colors that some people need for their costumes (fairy makeup etc)

So I decided I needed some pigments. thats just really highly pigmented eye shadow that provides a vivid color (check out MAC, OC cosmetics, Sugarpill etc for examples). Problem is they're all very expensive, so I went snooping around ebay and found a MAC knock off store. I don't give a crap if its MAC as long as it works, and I got probably 8 select "weirder" colors for seriously, ONE CENT each. woo! Even if they turn out sucky I'm not out out any real money.

I'm REALLY glad the kids are going back to school tomorrow. The garage I work out in triples as a play room/workout room/rehearsal room and I have to fight for space in there sometimes. I've taken the past week off from working out so tomorrow i'm starting my second month of P90X! This one's going to be a little bit tougher, I think I have a couple days in there where i've got double workouts. But thats just what I need to kick my butt, i've only got 2 months left to the end of october (the renfest trip!) where I want to be at or below 190. I haven't weighed myself this week because of TOM and y'know, that mexican food thing. But thats about... 15lbs. TOTALLY doable IF I STICK TO IT HARDCORE! Home stretch for my first big goal!
 
Sunflower I totally missed your post last time I checked in! Thanks for stopping by, i'm always overly curious how other women my height are doing. Everyone carries their weight so differently. Don't be jealous of my messican food, it was naughty and bad of me lol. I'm jealous of your weight! I never weighed myself in high school, for some reason I was always mildly self conscious about my weight but it never occurred to me to buy a damn scale or utilize any tools I had available to figure out how to lose it. I was probably around 170 my senior year, I think I wore I 13. I remember having this 1 pair of american eagle jeans with silly zipper pockets that were 13s, and I wore them into the ground even when they were too tight because I refused to go up a size. lol.

SO, I still haven't weighed since last time. I'm gonna have to in a few days for the august weekly challenge, but I've been feeling very... PMSsy. Like more than usual. Been chugging water like its going out of style but I still feel poofy. I also didn't work out at all last week as my week off between P90X rounds, so I'm all paranoid about what the scale will tell me.

onto the good news. well, sort of. I've been back on my shakes full time for the last 2 days. And today i started my second month of P90x. Today is also my 3 month anniversary of being healthier. Going by my -last- weigh in, I lost about 24lbs in a little under 3 months. Considering I didn't work out at ALL my 2nd month, i'm pretty happy with it. Of course I always think I could have done better, but it doesn't do any good to whine about that.
So here's the "sort of" part. I only got through about half my work out this morning before I called it quits. I just got... I don't know, really light headed. the cardio work out warms up with yoga, and every time i'd drop my head down in a stretch or something I felt like I was going to pass out. That part aside, I was doing fine, I'm way better at this stuff physically than I ever was before, and i'd already had a shake this morning and water. The only thing I can really come up with is being on my period I guess would make me feel that way, and I took a Legatrin PM last night (over the counter pain reliever) before bed and maybe that effected me this morning.

anyway, i'm going to do the rest of my work out later today and see if I do any better after i've eaten a bit more. I currently have a little over 2 months to reach my end-of-october goal. I'll be happy to be anywhere between 180-190 by then, so thats at least 16lbs. I can do that!
 
First things first. ANGEL HERE'S THE BEANIES!


*WARNING. TMI WITHIN, MEN LOOK AWAY*

Jeez. FINALLY after 8 days of gaining water weight and 2 days late i'm FINALLY bleedin'. I'm usually like clockwork every month, so its weird this month that its being wonky.
Now i'm pissed off because that means another 5 days until any of it goes away. I checked today, i'm up to 210.4. I know it'll come off soon as my ovaries are done rebelling against my rule, but its frustrating, especially when I was 4-5lbs from onederland. My only consolation is that I have been guzzling my water, as always, so maybe it's not as bad as it could have been if I didn't drink as much as I do. Today is the first day in the last week that my ring is back to feeling super loose, so maybe i'm done being all poofy.
poofy poofy poofy.

In non-stupid-period-weight news, I've been a girly girl the last few days. I got a big haul of makeup from E.L.F yesterday*yaaaaay!* I'm what my friends like to call a product whore. The big trip that I want to hit my 1st goal weight by is on halloween weekend, every year me and about 20 of my friends go camp out for a weekend at the renaissance festival. I'm always recruited to be the makeup slave, and do all the girls makeup. So I started stocking up early this year. I'm not really a girly girl, but i'm still a girl lol and I love playing in makeup. My mom doesn't wear makeup at all, and everything I know about it was self taught by trial and a lot of error lol, so it strokes my ego that everyone wants me to do it for them. Anyway, I got a whole crapload of stuff and now im just waiting on my pigments to come in. I got cheapy pigments that are a rip off of MAC from ebay, and its shipping from hong kong so who knows when -thatll- be here. But some of the girls need brighter colors I don't own so for 1 cent a pop, I don't care who makes em as long as they work, its only for a day.
By the way, if you girls don't know about ELF, GO THERE! eyeslipsface.com. everythings between 1-3 bucks generally, and they have a studio line thats more like 3-5 bucks. But DUDE. Its good stuff. I love it, cause i'm poor, but I don't want crappy products.


So after playing in my makeup like a 12 year old all day, I gave mahself a haircut... well, a bang cut. as I had a surplus of girliness in me.
TA-DA!





bangzes! (and the makeup I played in today. I never, ever, ever wear lipstick. I think its not that bad though now)
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top