Keep me motivated!

Beautiful1

Beautiful1

New member
Where do I begin? I have never done this diary thing before so here goes nothin'!
I started exercising just last monday, I've been going walking everyday for about a week now! Today was expecially hard for me! I did not want to get up, see I have to get up at 5 or 5:30 because my husband goes to work early and I do not want to lug my two toddlers with me everyday! So this morning I was battleing in my mind, one half saying....it will be okay, just sleep, don't go, you don't have to go walking today etc, talking me out of going!! The other half saying, GO DO IT< GET UP!! so I got up put my walking shoes on and went! I am feeling good, because it was hard but I did it anyways!

I am walking about just short of 2 miles in about 40 minutes! I feel great about that! My current wieght is about 300lbs(i'm not exactly sure because I can't find my scale UGH) and my goal right now is 20 lbs, lol, I know that sounds crazy right! I have to start slow or I will fail! I have done this many times and I KNOW what I got to do now, and I am doing it! :)

My ultimate goal weight is 150, so I need to lose 150 lbs.....WOW! when I think of that big number to lose it does discourage me, but I tell myself, Erica, you got to start somehwere, and sitting down and packing it on isn't going to get you where you want to be!!!!

The hardest part is the eating! I want to eat something bad for me so bad!!! But I'm not, no I do not deprive myself, and I yesterday I had 1 scoop of ice cream and I started to feel guilty but why?? I am doing good compared to what I was eating OMG, I am fabulous!! I was probably consuming close to 4000 calories before on select days, and now I am trying and most days I do stay under 2000, plus being active, wow, I can do this!

I also think that people should stop comparing themselves to others!!! this bothers me when I see others do but it bothers me when I do it! I have done it here on these forums, I Compare what they are doing to what I am doing, and compared, I suck!! But in my life I am doing great! you cannot compare yourself to others because you are not in the same place as them and they are not in the same place as you! I get discouraged when I see joggers run past me in the morning I feel like a loser, and I feel like they judge me and laugh :rotflmao: becuase they run and I am walking and am sooo fat!! This is how i feel! SAD!!
I have been changing that though, why do I compare? they are probably not laughing at me at all, I would hope they'd be happy to see such a fatso walking and trying! And to tell you the truth I am so Proud of myself and Have learned not to CARE what OTHERS think about me, just so long as I am happy with myself!:)
 
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I get discouraged when I see joggers run past me in the morning I feel like a loser, and I feel like they judge me and laugh becuase they run and I am walking and am sooo fat!! This is how i feel! SAD!!
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Im the same way when Im walking ANYWHERE on a day to day basis. Even if Im just getting out of my car to walk into a store, I feel like everyone stares at me and judges me, and when I used to go to the gym once in a while, I used to feel like a complete loser because there were always a lot of good looking people who were already in shape.. and here I was, feeling so fat and uncomfortable.

But you know what? Think about it.. one of those mornings, somewhere in the future.. YOU will be one of those joggers. You will run for miles, and will breathe the fresh morning air as you thank yourself for the changes you have made in your life. You will appreciate everything around you more, you will feel strong and healthy. You will feel so pleased.. and someday, you may jog by an overweight person.. and would you judge them? No. Because you know what it's like to have to start somewhere! You'll be glad that they are taking the first step, just like you did.

Im so proud of your positive attitude. A couple years ago I started at almost 300lbs. When I was 16, I lost around 40 lbs, and then I gained some back and then lost some more. It had just been going up and down for almost 3 years, and so at the beginning of THIS month, I started taking this seriously at 273 lbs.. meaning I need to lose at least 133lbs to be in the higher end of my healthy weight range (BMI.) When I look at other people's diaries, I sometimes compare myself.. just like you said I shouldnt. You are right. I start wondering, "maybe what Im doing isnt enough." But guess what? It is enough as a starting point for me. I used to consume around 4000 calories a day probably too, and I did it without thinking... just like it was a normal routine for me. So now, Ive been eating up to 2200 calories some days.. and Im STILL losing weight from it, so what works for one person, may not work for another. besides, people of our weight burn more calories because we have more weight to carry. Meaning that we can eat more calories than, say, a 170 lb person, in order to lose weight.

So dont beat yourself up over a few treats here and there, because anything is better than the 4000 calories a day, right?

Slowly and surely we will do this. Both of us!

Ill be reading your diary, and Ill keep an eye on you to see how you're doing. I'll push you and try to question you to keep you motivated and in check. :) Im so proud, and Im glad you decided to join us. This site is so helpful and is FULL of supportive people who will help you when you are feeling a little discouraged or unmotivated. You have an awesome start with the positive attitude. Ive always been a very negative person, and I didnt realize how much being positive about this may help me.. It really does! And it can help you too!

... so keep the good attitude! You can do amazing things.


xo
 
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Beautiful said:
So this morning I was battleing in my mind, one half saying....it will be okay, just sleep, don't go, you don't have to go walking today etc, talking me out of going!! The other half saying, GO DO IT< GET UP!! so I got up put my walking shoes on and went! I am feeling good, because it was hard but I did it anyways!

And to tell you the truth I am so Proud of myself and Have learned not to CARE what OTHERS think about me, just so long as I am happy with myself!:)
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Ok, Erica when I first read your diary I was puzzled at the fact that you only wanted to lose 20 lbs but then say that your final goal weight was 150. Wow is right our goal weights are the same although I only have to lose 111lbs if i can keep myself going and actually met my workout goals. Your saying that battleing in your mind about whether to do it or go back to sleep sounds like me everyday except since i started taking my new meds my doc prescribed me I haven't really had the problem of sleeping is more like I have so much energy but still don't feel like exercising. So I figured If you can do it when you have to get up at 5:30 every morning I surely can do it when i don't even get up until my son wakes me up in the morning although i usually don't go to bed until 2am the last week anyways.

On another note, the being proud of yourself and learning that what matters is how you feel about yourself is great. Thats the main that really matters is how you feel about yourself. Cause I have always heard that If you like yourself then people will start to like you too but I have yet to actually test that theory yet as i am still working on being totally comfortable with myself image.

Good luck on your goals. Hope you have a great day.
 
Thanks you guys for the support1 It feels great to have people behind me supporting me! Thanks all of you for the kind words!
 
Next day!

Okay so today was a little easier than yesterday, possibly because I got an hour more of sleep :sleeping: YAY!!
I rolled out of bed this morning at 5:15am, wanted to just lay back down, but no I didn't! This is day #10 of my journey! OMG I have a LOOONNNGGG way to go still!!
I CAN DO THIS!!!
My new motto,lol, well my walking I think has improved.....I walk ruffly 2 miles in 30 minutes, I have cut 10 minutes off my time but walk the same distance! Next week I will add more distance, I do it week by week! I sure love being sweaty,lol, I love that feeling of accomplishment I get when I'm done working out/walking, and I feel so good that I'm not Sleeping still! Yay for me, tomorrows another story!
 
Beautiful,

I found your opening post very encouraging. Same with Still Hurting. I'm going to be following closely with both of you since the three of us seem to need to lose around the same amount and feel the same way about this adventure.

As a suggestion, Beautiful, I got the junk out of my house and substituted it with similar items without the fat. Potato Chips became Baked Lays. Ice Cream became Weight Watchers ice cream bars. Chips Ahoy become fat free Fig Newtons. Candy or something sweet become red licorice. Butter become the nonfat butter spritzer...............and so on.

I am so glad I did that because it is absolutely saving me right now.

Good luck to you!!


TS
 
still.hurting said:
But you know what? Think about it.. one of those mornings, somewhere in the future.. YOU will be one of those joggers. You will run for miles, and will breathe the fresh morning air as you thank yourself for the changes you have made in your life. You will appreciate everything around you more, you will feel strong and healthy. You will feel so pleased.. and someday, you may jog by an overweight person.. and would you judge them? No. Because you know what it's like to have to start somewhere! You'll be glad that they are taking the first step, just like you did.
xo
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this is totally true. I'd been walking for a few months, and basically maxed out my time on a 2k walk (I walk at lunch)...about a week and a half ago I was thinking about that during my walk and thought "why not try running?"
so now I've incorporated running with my walks....2min run/3 minute walk. it's hard but I love it.

keep it up everyone!
 
:)

heyy!

I decided that I need to start following other people's journey's in order to get more inspiration. Ive been keeping my own diary, and get feedback but I think that I should put myself out there more and subscribe to a couple diaries.. but not too many. I want to get a couple people that I can follow closely and help to motivate them with advice, etc. The reason I only want to do a couple is because of the quality of advice..

If I only have a few diaries to read, then I will have sufficient time to keep up with reading them and commenting, whereas if I had a whole bunch, I would probably miss a lot of posts and my advice would be rushed and probably not-so-helpful.

Since we are roughly in the same spot.. I decided I am going to try my best to follow this diary.. and I'll check it out to see if "Truthseeker" has one. It'd be cool to follow people who are in the same area I am and who have to lose approximately the same amount of weight. Itd be very motivating to be able to read about how you guys are doing.. in order to keep myself in check. Id hope that you'd have time to check out my diary too sometime. No pressure. :)

You can do this.. you're doing great so far with walking so early in the morning! I cant get out of bed that early unless its for work! haha. I actually have to get up at that time tomorrow. YAY! (sarcastic.) Im so proud that you can do that. It takes SO much strength to get up so early for me.. especially since Im a night person. Im usually up till around 2am at least. Ive got to change that bad habit with the rest of my lifestyle. My body needs the rest.

Congratulations on being so determined. Your posts really inspire me, and I hope I can help you out in some way too in the future.

Hang in there, you're doing great!

xo
 
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Hey Beautiful,

I can relate to your opening post so well. I LOVE your attitude. It is so inpiring.

Still.hurting is right one day you will be jogging right along or right past them.

Keep up the great work... I can't wait to see you progress on your journey

~Jenna
 
WOW.... I am Inspired by all this feedback i have recieved! Thank you all very much!! really you have no Idea how much this helps me :)


Okay so today, was better, I guess the Payday things helps get me out of bed! it was still difficult OMG I want to go back to sleep!!! I get up, put my hair in a ponytail, sit down and stretch and put my shoes on almost at the same time, drink a big glass of water, fill my water bottle, grab my head phones, and head out, ALL while I am so so sleepy! Even as I start walking I feel tired! But then I turn my tunes on and I get my pace a little quicker then I see it.....the most beautiful Sunrises I have ever seen before, YEAH this is worth it!!!
I feel so great! No I don't think I've lost anything yet :( but...Just feel so great that I am actually doing this! I eat pretty well, I track everything on Thedailyplate.com, and it tracks it pretyy good for me! I always consume less than 2000 calories a day! Now as for sodium I do not know how to keep this down ugh, Everything Has soduim in it, so I figured, well I ONLY drink water so it should even out right :doh:
I finally got a new scale, Why O why O why did I get on it! Such a Horrible invention!:rolleyes:
 
Scales are Evil torture devices... well... that may be taking it too far... but they can be horrid little devices...

Just keep up your excellent work with your eating and morning workouts (I love beautiful sunrises) and the numbers will start to go down.

The only way to check your sodium is to pay careful attention to the nutritional information of the items you are buying.

~Jenna
 
...

I cant believe your determination!

wow, awesome work!! Keep going and you'll start dropping the pounds!

I wish I could get my butt out of bed that early.. Ill work up to that eventually. :)

xo
 
I love watching the sun rise...

Beautiful said:
WOW.... I am Inspired by all this feedback i have recieved! Thank you all very much!! really you have no Idea how much this helps me :)


Okay so today, was better, I guess the Payday things helps get me out of bed! it was still difficult OMG I want to go back to sleep!!! I get up, put my hair in a ponytail, sit down and stretch and put my shoes on almost at the same time, drink a big glass of water, fill my water bottle, grab my head phones, and head out, ALL while I am so so sleepy! Even as I start walking I feel tired! But then I turn my tunes on and I get my pace a little quicker then I see it.....the most beautiful Sunrises I have ever seen before, YEAH this is worth it!!!
I feel so great! No I don't think I've lost anything yet :( but...Just feel so great that I am actually doing this! I eat pretty well, I track everything on Thedailyplate.com, and it tracks it pretyy good for me! I always consume less than 2000 calories a day! Now as for sodium I do not know how to keep this down ugh, Everything Has soduim in it, so I figured, well I ONLY drink water so it should even out right :doh:
I finally got a new scale, Why O why O why did I get on it! Such a Horrible invention!:rolleyes:
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I don't know how you do it but keep up the good work. I could never drag myself out of bed at 5:15am unless i had to work but since I haven't worked in over 3 years its definetly going to be a change when i do go back to work. Anyways, the whole getting your pace faster when listening to music is so me too.. i love my ipod it works great when it comes to working out. no if only they made them wirefree so i didn't get tangled in it sometimes when trying to do my crunches.. lol

Scales are evil.. lol but i usually weigh myself 2 times a day once right after i get up but before i eat or drink anything and again before i go to sleep. to see how my weight changes during the day. I only officially weigh in once a week though so even though my weight has changed per day by going down i haven't changed my ticker yet.
 
Honestly I don't know how I do it either!! It is very difficult! I am just seriously determined! SERIOUSLY! I want to lose this weight more than I ever have before!
Last night was so difficult, and today is also. I broke down last night and cried because I couldn't just eat what I wanted to!
That might sound weird to some people, but if you know how it feels not to be able to eat what you want when you want and you know how difficult that is to have control, then you know where I am coming from!
I was so hungry last night, and it was getting late, I just didn't want to eat a salad or a potato or turkey or whatever, I wanted a something fast, like fast food, yeah I am still having withdrawls from not eating it! I want a double double or a chipoltle chicken cibatta, with cheddar wedges, or just a plain ol' cheese burger! I cried and cried because I wanted it but told myself no!! DON'T!!! So my husband said how about a shrimp cocktail? Like the mexican kind, OMG I love those a lot, but they are kinda pricy so I don't get them much at all. He said how many calories is that? it can't be that bad? I figured the same! God only knows! So I had one, it is about 24 oz cup, I ate almost all of it, LORD knows I wanted all of it and more! It couldn't be that bad right? why do I feel guilty then??
I feel a little better today!
It was hard as usual getting up this morning, maybe one day I won't say that! :) So I went out, and met a nice dog he was so sweet but locked out of his yard! The other day I saw two cyotes, I was scared but they ran as soon as they saw me! It's pretty cool getting to see some of the things I see in the mornings all by myself! Things I would be missing if I chose to not go out! So yeah I have to keep my mind right and not worry to much about anythings else!
DAY 12!!
I have been walking everyday and doing some other kinds of exercises plus eating right for 12 days now, I am not sure if I should take a break? I am scared to so I don't, but can this be healthy? YEAH I think so? I am going to get me an exercise ball or some resistance bands this weekend, not sure which yet but I am excited for something new!
Aslo I am tired or thinking about what to eat!! So tired of it, It is difficult! Then I get discouraged when I think about......Oh my for the rest of my Life!!!!:eek: Wow that's a lot of thinking about food!
 
Aslo I am tired or thinking about what to eat!! So tired of it, It is difficult! Then I get discouraged when I think about......Oh my for the rest of my Life!!!! Wow that's a lot of thinking about food!
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That is why we need to learn that this is not a diet, it is a LIFESTYLE.

If you make your expectations of yourself too unrealistic you will get discouraged. You need to make changes that you know you will be able to stick to for the rest of your life, not just until the weight is gone because unless its a TRUE change, the weight will come back. We all know that we cant go around eating plain lettuce leaves and carrots sticks for the rest of our lives. That's why you need to start off slowly, until you adjust. Start making small subsitutions, eating more fruit and veggies, and more wholegrains instead of refined white carbs.

Make a plan that you can stick to without driving yourself crazy. If you dont enjoy yourself it will be a harder journey. Think of ways that you can keep it challenging, yet fun. You also need to find ways to keep yourself from getting bored! When you start to get bored with your eating pattern, then it means its time for change! Try some new things that are good for you. You may discover some things that you really like!

It also wont hurt you to eat foods you like ONCE in a while!

Everything in moderation, my dear. Moderation is the key word!

Take care, and keep going! You're doing very, very well!!

xo
 
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Thanks Kari, your right of course! :) And I I do relize this is a lifestyle and I have actually done the things you've said like start slowly and incorperate new things, cut some things out! I do relize this, and I feel I have been doing that. I just felt like, i didn't know what to eat, and I just wanted something greasy, but when i look at the nutrition facts for it, it is so Scary, then it sucks cuz I can't have it...lol...it's crazy. I will let myself once in a while I just gotta learn not to feel soooo guilty when I do!



As for today, Wow, I didn't wake up at 5:15 and go walking :( I ended up waking up at 6:30, yeah thats late for me! And by that time...here in AZ it is Blazing hot! So I wasn't gonna go, plus my husband was telling me to just lay there with him, AHHH sooo sooo tempting, so I did. And for about and hour i debated, Then I Went!! YUP I DID :eek: It was hard, and HOTT. I even added extra distance to my walk, not as much as I wanted but, I was walking 1.82 miles now I'm walking 2.30 miles. YAY me! that was pretty difficult so I probably will stick to that distance for this week then add more next week! I am so proud of myself for actually going today! NO I ddin't want to at all! I also ran farther than before, I feel good! Oh yeah and I have lost a few pounds, LIke 1lb, from when i made that ticker thingy, but Since I've started I've lost 3 lbs! YAY!! I am SOre!!! And my knee hurts a bit. I am not sure if I should take a day off from my walking? I am afraid to actually so i don't, but i think I need to rest?!?! :confused:
 
Beautiful said:
Last night was so difficult, and today is also. I broke down last night and cried because I couldn't just eat what I wanted to!
That might sound weird to some people, but if you know how it feels not to be able to eat what you want when you want and you know how difficult that is to have control, then you know where I am coming from!
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There have been times when I am in the supermarket or a restaurant and all the food starts to make me feel sick or upset and I start crying. I have an internal struggle at that moment and I just lose my appetite and all food makes me sick (including yesterday in the supermarket).

Sometimes food is such a battle but we'll overcome it and our new lifestyles will emerge. I have learned that things don't need to be fried, buttery, fattening, full of calories, and extremely large plates of food to be satisfying and filling. Its still hard sometimes because I want the crap but I cant have the crap.

You are doing such a great job Beautiful...

And congrats on getting out and doing that walking today:)
 
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wow, im proud that you still went for your walk today! It would have been so easy to say no, but you were strong and did what you knew you had to do! Congratulations on another pound gone! Sometimes I get discouraged when I think "I have only lost one pound?" But think about it.. next time you are at the grocery store pick up a 2 lb tub of margarine and feel its weight.

You have lost that much off your frame, plus another pound on top of that! You should feel proud, you're doing awesome!

Keep it up Beautiful!

xo
 
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