Kdel's confessions/Diary

Hi Kdel,
Good for you for tossing all that candy! Not to mention walking with some sugar free candy - I'm going to have to try that next year!

I wasn't tempted during the actual trick or treating, but afterwards, we came home, went through the loot then settled on the couch to watch a movie and 'snack'

Tis a family tradition that needs to be changed ;)

As for your daughter being shy...I don't know what would help, having never been quiet or shy myself, and having no experience with it with Megan...but I think giving her the space she needs and not 'nagging' would be a good thing.

I think it's much harder to do better when we're made to feel bad or uncomfortable with who we are.

10 is such an awkward age!
 
Wow, I read your first posting in here about how you like to eat and think "no one will know that I ate this." Only you said for you it was after 2 weeks, for me it's after 2 days. But seeing that You have lost so much weight already is really inspiring! I know my ticker says I lost 30 lbs, but those 30 lbs were kind of an accident from being in the hospital for 3 weeks after my baby was born. This is where the hard work starts! Thanks for making me think that I can do it this time!
 
Hi kdel. I read your question to M2M about your daughter. Hope you don't mind if I respond.

I was VERY shy as a child. So softspoken people couldn't hear me. I was a good student, but hated being called on. I froze to think people were looking at me. People telling me to "not be shy", speak up, be friendlier, smile, none of that helped. It just made me retreat further.

So as you know, nagging doesn't help. Are you an extrovert? My husband is one. He thinks my daughter and I can become extroverts by just wanting it to happen. It doesn't work that way. As I've become older, I care less what people think and my self-esteem has improved over the years, so I do come out of my shell more. But my basic nature is toward being an introvert.

My older daughter is just like me. One way I've tried to help her is by telling her I understand what it's like to be nervous about talking to people, but that good manners and being polite are very important. I practice with her on meeting people - if she meets an adult to hold out her hand, respond to whatever they ask and look them in the eye. It is difficult, but practicing helps. The last time we were at a favorite restaurant of mine, I introduced her to the owner's mother and several employees and she did very well. I could see the pride in her face afterwards that she faced her fears for the moment. Halloween, though passed now, is another great opportunity to practice. Tell her what to say, including looking at the person and saying thank you, and have her practice it out loud with you several times.

Practice for the upcoming holidays. They can be shy even around loved ones, or relatives they don't see much. Teach her how to shake hands, respond. It's tough, but you'll empower her.

What else? Try this exercise. Be somewhat dramatic. We've done this in girl scouts when girls meet one another. Have her greet you, say hi or whatever. Your response should be a mumbled hello, looking down at the floor. Have her do it again, this time looking at her, smiling brightly and saying hello back in a friendly way. Ask her which response SHE liked better. It made her feel better to be responded to so nicely. Tell her when she responds to people like that, it lets them know she is interested in them and makes them feel good.

I'm sure there are more specific ideas, exercises, and books out there on this.

I'm not advocating nagging, pushing, or trying to change your daughter's basic personality. Just gently try to equip her to face life and people.

I hope this helps.
 
That is such wonderful advice. Thank you so much Patty!:D I'm glad you let me know how it feels having been in those shoes. It really has helped me see from her point of view, and you gave me great Ideas on how to help:D I truly thank You. I realized real quick that telling(NAGGING) her to just go do, and say something was not working at all.That came quite clear to me at Halloween:eek:
We will have a good talk this weekend (hart to hart) I want to let her know I'm with her, not against her:D
Thanks again :D
 
I am terribley shy in real life. I would rather burst into flames than make conversation some days. Pushing and nagging makes it worse cause you start to feel self concious. It helps to think of it as a phobia that you have to learn to deal with & try to desensitize yourself. You wouldn't try to make her hold a spider if she was deathy afraid of those.

Patty had some fantastic ideas - might have to try some of them myself. :D

Have a great day Kdel!
 
Thanks guys, thank you for the support :) I have been doing good on changing my life
(I'm still walking and loosing weight):)
I had that talk with my daughter and all is good -Poor kid! I also talked to her about getting her period too. That was so hard for me!(she was like, OK what ever Mom)
My Mom never told me about it when I was a kid and I thought I was dieing! I told myself I was not going to let that happen to my Daughter!
I told her when we were playing soccer at the park (One on One) that way, we could talk serious
but light hearted. It seemed to work well.
Once we talk about sex, than the monkey will be all the way off my back!
This parenting thing is hard ;) But I'm working it! LOL :D
Have a great Day
 
Kdel, that's cool to hear that you've had these talks with your daughter. Even though your daughter maybe like "whatever", i'm sure she still appreciates it. :) And you are definitely doing good on changing your life. Congrats to you.
 
My mom never talked with me about that stuff - i learned it all from my friends at school..lol CFL is right - she maybe all 'whatever' now but it will definately help keep a line of communication open later when other questions may come up. Those teenage years are going to be sooo fun :rolleyes: ...lol

Thanks for the nice words in my journal thingy. I really appriciate them. Have a great day!!
 
Thanks guys :) Have a great day.
I tell my Kid that she will have times that she wont like me, when she is a teenager. But I keep telling her that no matter what happens I LOVE HER :)
HEE HEE :) she so sick of me telling her that
 
one thing about kids is they aren't afraid to ask about anything. Mine will ask about things at the oddest places. Mine are strange they have the mom around but I always get the questions.
 
Kdel said:
Thanks guys :) Have a great day.
I tell my Kid that she will have times that she wont like me, when she is a teenager. But I keep telling her that no matter what happens I LOVE HER :)
HEE HEE :) she so sick of me telling her that
Click to expand...

Wow Kdel, you're a great mom for even realizing that. I know most parents don't want to admit their kid might hate them, or at least be really frustrated with them.
 
I remember being a kid and my Mom and Dad were so out of it. That I had two identities! The perfect kid for my Mom and Dad, and then there was the real me(the rebel:) ) and that got really dangerous. Lucky I got out of that life style! If you know what I'm getting at ;) -So I figure If I can get to know the real Lauren (thats my daughters name)then hopefully she wont have the hang ups that I had:D Same thing with food too. I hope she will eat healthy when she get older. I know I'm a little late with the eating habits. But I'm hoping it will stick with her now that we are changing for the better.:p
Thanks for letting me ramble on
Have a good evening :D
 
you can get out of the rebel stage....hummm ill have to check into that lol....

changing eating habits are prob a good thing no matter what age you are....
 
I'm still doing good on eating.
I have the same thing all the time, thats why I don't post it every day.
But this is what it is (for the most part)
AM- Banana
Snack-Light yogurt
Lunch-Turkey sandwich,whole wheat,mustard and sprouts-If I'm feeling saucy I will put Tomato slices on it.
Snack-Carrots
One cup of whats ever is for dinner and veggies.
Tons of water all day and vitamins
After work, I walk at the park for about a 45 min. to one hour
I'm so Fun!:D
Have a good day
 
Kdel, It sounds like you found a system that is working for you...sometimes it is easier having a routine that we don't need to think about! Are you taking a multivitamin?
 
Mornin' Kdel!! :D:D Ooo i love sprouts on my samiches! I put them on my hamburgers too. Have a great day!!!
 
Wow, you eat really good. About how many calories does that total out to for you, or aren't you counting? Just wondered! Sounds like you're doing so great. just keep at it!
 
Hello Guys,
I hope you all have a great day!:)
Thank you for the suport ;)
I don’t count calories anymore. I tried at first and I found it was to involved, and I did not want the feeling of frustration.
I wanted to keep it simple and fun.
So that is why I don’t post my food all the time, because it is the same almost every day.
Like M2M said, I think I like the routine of my diet.
Its simple and that is what I need in my life.
Work has been stressful (My Boss is actually coming into the office!) So I have to be working all the time :)** LOL** that sounds so bad:p
Have a good day:D
 
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