Kaitie's Open Diary

Congrats on 153!!! After reading your post.....and I thought nurses were the only ones like that!!! Don't worry, it will all blow over!!
 
LOL: Hopefully the work drama--which it turns out the gym teacher was more correct about than I had originally believed--is over.

I had a pretty nice weight-loss week! I was retaining lots o' water since all the stress started with my show and I shed all of it this week (plus a little more!), so I'm way happy. It's funny though, how can I lose weight and still feel like a cow. I can't wait until my fat gut is gone, I feel like my gut sticks out a mile and now makes me look pregnant. Go away gut! Go away!
 
Kaitie, I haven't visited your diary (or most people's!) in a while. It's nice to see you are still posting and losing weight.

Look how far you've come! Over 50 lbs lost. And you are going to break that 150 barrier and leave it in the dust.

Best wishes.
 
Phew----spent a long time outside today. John and I worked on pulling out a 15 x 5 area of grass and weeds, putting in a small retaining wall, and putting in new soil. On Monday we'll plant some flowers in the ground, in some containers, and put down the mulch. My hands are all chewed up from all the digging and pulling but I can't wait to see it all done. Maybe I'll post a picture when it's all done.
 
Kaitie said:
I feel like I should never have told him what happened and I probably shouldn't have even asked the music teacher what the 'real' converstation was in the first place b/c I knew that it was nothing. How is it that I do nothing wrong and I feel bad? That's not fair.
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I think it is part of beign human - especially if you are a decent human being that gives a shit and has compassion, morals and values...

Excellent job on the weight loss - look at you go - you will make your goal I am sure of it and you are also cranking out miles liek crazy - you go girl!!!
 
I really don't know why I have this insane need for everyone to like me. Especially if I don't like them---why should it bother me if they don't like me back??? It's stupid. Not everyone in this world is going to like each other and that doesn't mean that we're enemies---I guess I just get the feeling that the stupid Art teacher is up to her freakin' antics again and is talkin' trash about me to the new science teacher--who by my standards is weird anyway so I guess I just need to figure out why I should care that the Art teacher is talkin shit about me to someone who I don't like anyway.

I don't know. The art teacher also wrote Sarah (the vocal music teacher) this nasty letter about making sure that her name gets in the program and 'don't forget this and this person'---I have half a mind to 'forget' to put her in at all when she throws around attitude like that.

This has been a shitty week. If my concert wasn't next week I would so not even be in school.

I'm stuck at 152....I know I'm not working as hard as I was last week, but then again I had all that water weight that made it seem like the weight was really fallin' off fast---just gotta refocus again.

I went to Panera bread and had this turkey/artichoke panini. Now the nutrition menu says that half a portion is 420 calories but here's the dilemna. Is the portion they served me considered half a portion? It's definately half of the panini bread (which comes in a giant circle), or is half a portion half of what they gave me....I'm so confused.

Ok...I've rambled enough.
 
Hey you - I havent checked in for a few days - Im sorry to hear abt the school teacher drama agian but as you said if you fdont liek them anyway who cares what they think and how they feel

The weight will come off - you ahve been doing it and it will continue :):):) SOme weeks we cant work out as hard as others
 
I just feel this immense sadness on me today, it's so freakin' strange. I weighed in at 152.8 this morning---I haven't lost anything this week and up until today I maintained at straight 152, so I'm way bummed. I wanted to hit 149.8 by May 15 but that is seriously not going to happen---which sucks b/c I my 'new plan' was supposed to work better than this and it's not.

I went to John's schools Choir concert yesterday and they were really really good. I walked away hearing all the joy in their voices and hearing all their happy not-a-care in the world laughter and totally felt like crap. This is a super suburban school where everyone has money--even the poor are rich if you catch my drift. My school on the other hand, no one has money...everyone is just scrapin' by, moms on the street corner, dad's in jail or in gangs---and just an almost complete lack of that joy I heard at John's school...it was so sad. I want my munchkins to be happy, I want them to feel joy and have a carefree childhood. Unrealistic I know, but it would certainly be nice to wish for.

Maybe that's part of whats bugging me. I really like my school...and as much as people say 'oooh your school district is tough'---and as much as that's true, I really like it. Most people have the opinion that if you teach in an urban school that you can't make it in a 'real' school, and sometimes I feel like that. I've tried two suburban schools and both of them thought that I was crap but both of my urban schools think that I'm the best thing since sliced bread---so who's right? Is it true that I can't cut it in a suburban district? Why should it bother me when I have a great job---and I feel like I make a huge difference in my munchkins lives.

I think I should see a therapist. I've got issues.
 
My wife teaches poor kids and vastly prefers that over the suburban school setting. Granted, the conditions in suburban schools are MUCH nicer, but the parent aren't nicer, and often aren't very appreciative at all. Her kids love her, and are always telling her how much they love her as a teacher.
 
Hi Kaitie!! It's the end of the year, and believe me, my husband (who is a teacher) comes home everyday "worrying" about this and that. I'm going to tell you what I tell him. Don't do that to yourself!! You know you are doing a great job!! If you like where you are , stay there!! You are making a difference in those kids lives. As far as your weight, look how far you have come!! The rest will come off, just keep going.
 
Sounds like yesterday morning was a rough time, but by the afternoon your mood had lifted. That's good! The new ipod, working out and singing must have helped...
 
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