Just need some support

ChelsterBelster

ChelsterBelster

New member
Boys have always ruined me in the past. I always say, "no matter what, I won't lose focus on my goal". And I don't. For awhile. Then I start thinking, "he says he likes me just the way I am... This cupcake won't hurt".

I've been trying to avoid boys like the plague. I haven't even been focusing on that inconsequential part of my life. Then - I meet him. Blue eyes, great smile, and was hitting on me. I mean, I know I'm not hideous, but I'm not used to that kind of attention at all. I've been getting more recently than I have in my 19 years of existence, but I didn't expect him of all people to blatantly flirt with me.

I can't let those pretty blues ruin me or anything I've accomplished. Sure, I'll flirt back, but nothing more. At least not now.

I can do it. Right people?
 
You have to do it for YOU. It shouldn't matter what anyone else says or thinks. If you don't want the changes, then they won't happen.

Bottom line.
 
I had that mindset for a very long time.

Which is why I was fat for a VERY longtime.

My husband always loved me for me. He didn't care what I looked like. He married me when I was the fattest I had ever been. And then I went and gained another 20 pounds on top of my "fattest weight ever".

Nothing changed until my reason behind wanting to be skinny changed.
I no longer wanted to be skinny at all actually.
My entire journey to this point started out as an exercise to be healthier.
And then I lost 10 pounds, not trying to, no diet, just eating better for my health and well being.

If I was still single and in the mindset of wanting to be skinny to be more attractive I would never have lost a pound and kept it off.

So no bull crap statement pf "Do it for you, not for a boy".
Do it for whatever reason you want, but the better the reason, the more likely I think you will be to keep it off.

This boy is cute right? Like really cute? And you like him?

Why would you want to stop that? You will lose the weight or you won't. You can date the boy or you won't.

If you believe those two things can't be mutually exclusive then they never will be.
 
I am doing it for me.

Even in my past attempts it's because I've wanted to make the change. It's just easy to get comfortable when you're with someone. From what I've seen, everyone struggles to change their mindset.
For me, my mindset has changed about the way I eat, it's still a challenge, but overall I have a whole new attitude on how to approach food.

Boys are tricky though. And though I welcome the looks of admiration over feeling invisible, I'm not used to it and I don't want to get caught up in it.


I know it's not impossible for someone to lose weight while being in a relationship. I've read a lot about someone's partner playing an important role during their weight loss.
But I know myself and I can only look back at my previous mistakes and try not to remake them.
 
Hmm, I am definitely no where near the kind of support you are looking for, LoL.

So I will just wish you good luck with your journey. :)
 
Hm. Not really sure what kind of response you're looking for :)

I started dating someone when I was at my heaviest. He never cared what I weighed, always told me I was beautiful, sex was always great. My weight was never an issue for him.

When I started losing weight he continued to tell me that I looked great, that he was proud of me, etc. But he never encouraged me to lose weight. He never "supported" me in the sense of talking about my diet or encouraging me to work out or anything like that. His attitude was that he loved me no matter what - fat, skinny, in shape, out of shape, whatever.

At no time was *his* opinion my motivator for working out, losing weight, or any of it - for the positive or negative. :)

But I wouldn't have restricted myself from doing what I wanted to do and needed to do just because he loved me regardless. I had hit a point in my life where *I* needed to make the change ... and from my perspective and experience, until I reached the point where I wanted it .. REALLY wanted it ... no matter what anyone else thought of me for good or bad, it wasn't going to happen
 
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