Just joined...need help

Medicryan1

New member
AHey everyone, I am brand new and I am ready to make a permanent change. The problem is, I have tried to make a change before but I've had some psychological barriers. That's where I am going to try something new and ask for help from everyone on the forum.

A little history...I am a 29 year old white male, currently 220lbs, 6'6" tall and I have had huge weight fluctuations over the last 10 years. In 2001, I weighed 215 lbs. I slowly gained weight until 2005 when I was at my peak of 275 lbs. At that time I was deployed overseas and managed to drop the weight down to 225 in that time. I returned to the states, and my weight went back up 10 lbs until I started working for the post office (walking route) and dropped all the way down to 178! I left that job last Dec and am now back up to 220. Man, is that a roller coaster or what?!? I never really did much strength training, but I do have a lot of experience doing cardio and know exactly how my body responds to it. Because of my lack of strength training, I have a doughy appearance and feel fat even though I am quite thin.

Ok, so lets get into the meat and potatoes of the discussion. I have done a lot of thinking over the last few weeks to try to figure out why I have not been to sustain eating right and exercising regularly and I have narrowed it down to two things.

First, after I get myself motivated, start working out, and start seeing some results, I will come up with excuses like, "well I'm starting to see results, this gives me some lee way to relax and eat like crap." the story behind this is, I really don't like working out (unless its and active sport) and I don't like eating chicken breast and steamed veggies everyday. I do set realistic goals for myself but quickly talk myself out of them once I get ahead.

Secondly, I am a perfectionist. I should have said this first, because its the bigger issue. If my diet is not perfect, and my workout is not just as perfect, I will give up very quickly because I feel like I am wasting my time. This is my biggest cry for help. If I slip on my diet, I will not work out that day or the next because I say to myself, "whats the point? I just ate poorly, so my training session is going to be a waste of time."

So this is my mental state on a silver platter for ya. I am, however, very happy that I, at least, figured out what the issue is. That is definitely a step in the right direction. So, any help you guys can give me to help my finally make the last and final change will be greatly appreciated!

-Ryan
 
Hi Ryan,


I applaud your honesty and insight and you are right on point in regards to your perfectionism. I have found the secret to successful long term weight loss has absolutely nothing with one diet or another and has nothing to do with standing on the scale every morning and feeling the disappointment of yet another failed attempt to loss weight.


It has everything to do with getting balance in your life. The first place to start before you try one more diet is to take time to get your emotional state in shape. Emotionally we all carry hidden messages around in our heads from our earliest days as children.. Our core beliefs are developed from our collective experiences from parents, teachers, coaches and even peers. Many of those core beliefs are dysfunctional by nature and unfortunately they stay with us over the years into adulthood and remain as old "truths" Those old messages play through our heads like old tapes everyday and affect our judgments and behaviors of Everything we do in life.


The path to achieving your goal of weight loss must begin with an examination of your old messages, understand they no longer serve you in life and begin a process of replacing them with positive and healthy ones until the barriers of life are gone. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CGT) is an excellent process which has helped so many overcome old messages and lose weight. Dr Judith Beck has a book called the complete Beck Diet for life. It address how old messages, " Perfectionism" can be overcome.


A good question to ask yourself is, " Where did little Ryan learn he had to do everything perfect?". You must also know that old dysfunctional messages come with a Cost.. What has this old message of perfectionism cost you? How has it impacted your life, not just in weight loss but other areas of your life? And are you ready to let go of that old message? It is also important to also know that in some ways that old message has served you in life. Perhaps it has been used as a convenient excuse to overcome failure. Only you know how this old message has been serving you, even in a dysfunctional manner.


Ryan I understand your situation because I have walked in your shoes. I will take a leap here and suspect your old message of perfectionism may have come from mom or dad and you have been carrying that hugh burden around your entire life. I can only imagine it must feel like a 300 pound gorilla on your shoulders and in some ways that high weight has become a comfortable and familiar load in your life. It sounds like it is time to Jettison that unnecessary load.


Once you are able to successfully address your old messages will be the Day when your attempts to lose weight be achieved. A little secret: Once you get past the old messages, the next initial element is not to jump into another killer diet and frustrate yourself. Balance in your life, become an expert in nutrition and develop a consistent training routine is the key. (was doing so well..up till posting a website and trying to advertise - Jericho)


You are so close to getting the answer you desire. Take the leap and get your Emotional State of Mind in shape first and everything else will seem easy.


David
 
There is a big difference between "trying to advertise" and offering a well meaning and sincere suggestion to someone. Obviously Jericho did not take the time to even look at the recommended resource on behalf of his reader.
 
Please...you think I just started moding this site? You don't think I know what to look for.


ok then..Well let's see..from your own site..


2. Description of Services

We make various services available on this site including, but not limited to, information for self improvement
access to professionals offering services
re-sale of third party goods, and other like services.



Oh and let's not forget under toolbox where you sell books, fitness tools, spiritual tools..etc.



Thus..advertising. Don't like the forum rules, you are welcome to go to other sites to try and network your site.
 
love your eagle.


You are still in the wrong, trying to be snide about my avatar doesn't change that.
 
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