Weight Today: 57.3kg
Food Intake:
2 GF toasts with DF cream cheese
1 DF yogurt with tbs of nuts and coconut mix
Shrimp and Pasta dish: 1 cup of pasta + 10 shrimps, with cherry tomatoes, oregano, olive oil, onion, garlic, Mediterranean dressing, DF mozzarella cheese
1 Good Soy herbs snack (DF/GF)
1 egg
1 1/2 tbs of peanut butter
4 strawberries
1 1/2 slice of pineapple
Exercise:
3x20 reg. squats
3x8 superman leg circles (each leg)
50 calf-raises
60 squat pulses
50 mountain climbers
NOTES: Today has not been the best of the days f0r me..........I am usually a VERY POSITIVE person, case in point any person who would get the not so nice news (very discouraging) I got today would totally throw themselves a pity party and complain for at least a night before putting the pieces together and start brainstorming possible solutions/alternatives to the problem I am having. As you all know, I don't like venting my personal stuff here...I have my reasons, but I feel like I need to get it off my chest that today wasn't a good day for me. PERIOD...the worst part is that I am - AFTER WHAT SEEMS LIKE A VERY LONG TIME - actually holding myself accountable for being 50% of the problem.....and no, BEFORE Y'ALL GET YOUR BRAINS THINKING THAT THESE ARE RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS, IT'S NOT...........IT'S A WHOLE LIFE PROBLEM!!! Part of me is happy that I recognize my fault in it today (hey, that's a start!) and the other part of me is SO INCREDIBLY DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF
I never felt like I wanted to go back a few years in life, I always thought "damn, I'm an intelligent/good hearted/well-rounded woman who loves herself and life" and that's a pretty good feeling to have by the time you are 30. Today I felt like going back the last 5 years of my life and wishing I could make better choices, choices that are now irreversible, choices that I'm going to have to live with it and learn to MOVE ON from it! It's a VERY HARD pill to swallow and I must confess that I never thought I would get this feeling........but now I have, I realize that I have to become a BETTER PERSON from it. In times like these, I always turn to my faith...the source of all my strength, of all that I am and believe. I don't know how long I will keep this diary (which for myself is an incredible resource of reliability to healthy eating+fitness)...but I hope that by writing this personal vow, I can also hold myself accountable to do BETTER in other aspects of my life. When I was a little, I had SO MANY DREAMS...so many of these dreams are still there inside of me, and while for the most part I have no control of many of these dreams...I can do my part, I can nourish and treat my dreams better by closing the gap between them and WHAT MAKES ME A BETTER/COMPLETE PERSON...dreams won't happen just because I want them to happen and/or bc I feel I deserve them to happen...to me dreams will happen when/if He thinks I'm deserving of it and to how hard I work towards holding my end of the bargain. I need TO GIVE MY ALL, MY 100% EVERY DAY...in order to never feel like I have felt today ever again, it's OK if things don't go as planned, but to me it's NOT OK knowing that I haven't given my best when I am perfectly capable of doing so. I know this much - I've always known this - and I need to put my knowledge/my determination/my desires to BETTER USE!!
For now, this is it...let's hope for better days! We need it...we all do!!