joebuzz
New member
Hi Everyone,
This is my first time actively trying to write a journal/blog about anything so bear with my rambling.
Yesterday was a big day for me. I realized that I have multiple things in my life that will either distract or hault my weight loss progress. One of which, and the biggest, is a game.
I play a game that some of you may or may not have heard of/play, called World of Warcraft. The game is fun and allows me to interact with a lot of my friends that I dont see much in real life. With that in mind, also keeping in mind that I might be trying to defend my playing habits, I play alot more than someone should.
This habit does not take over my social life completely; I still see my friends and do things outside of play the game, just not as often or as easily as before I played the game.
I've quit before, but like any other addiction (and yes this is an addiction, google WoW addiction), it hangs in the back of my mind and eventually I start playing again.
To give you a scale of how bad this addiction is I will let you know how much time in the last few years I have spent playing this game. For those who haven't played this game, while on your in game character you can use a text command (/played) to see how long you have been playing on a specific character. I have a total of 12 characters.
For example, my oldest character, the one I've been playing the longest, has been played for 74 days. That doesnt mean that I've played 2 hours for 74 days. That means I've played 1,776 hours (74 days).... ON THAT ONE CHARACTER!
My other characters are less, but by no means better. Another character has been played for 48 days. Another for 30 days. Another for 15 days. the next for 11 and the rest are 3-7 days.
Here are the stats of my estimated play time:
Days: 204
Hours: 4896
Months: Close to 7
....I've spent 7 whole months...WHOLE MONTHS... of my life playing this game. This one game. I'm only 25 years old, 7 months out of 300 may not seem like alot but when compared to the percentage of life wasted on this one game (2.3%), its alot.
Would you think that the data I just presented would wake me up and make me stop playing the game 'cold turkey'? ...Nope. Instead my mind is now conflicted.
One part is thinking, wow you cant spend anymore time playing this game. Real life is happening and the more time 'you' spend playing this game the less you will be able to enjoy the pleasures of real life. The one life 'you' were given.
The other part of my mind is thinking, if 'you' stop playing now all of 'your' friends will surpass 'you' and 'you' wont be able to spend 'time' with them. 'You' enjoy their company and wouldn't want that to happen, would 'you'? Besides the game is really fun and 'you' can control it. Why not continue to play, even if only for a little bit?
Then when the time comes to do things in real life my thought process changes to: How can I get done with this as quickly as possible so that I can get home and do random things in the game? Do I need to go to the gym? Why not just stay home and enjoy time with my friends on the game and have some food that tastes good? I've eaten well all day today, if I have a sandwhich or pizza it shouldnt be bad right? I'll just go to the gym and start fresh with eating tomorrow. No big dead.
YES, BIG DEAL!
It's gotten so bad that from doing really well and feeling really good with the way I look, I've become self concious and doubting again. I've not gained too much weight back (deflecting again), but it's enough to cause me concern. I went from being 283 to 295. 12 lbs has returned to my body.
My Stats:
I'm 295 lbs rigth now. I started at 335-345 lbs in august of 2006. The lowest I've gotten was 273 over the last year and a quater. My weight seemed to become stable at 283 for a very long time. I went from not being able to do 1 push up to doing 183 in an hour. From no dips to 30+ in 10 min. From no Pull Ups to 32 in 10-15 min. From 60lb dumbbell rows to 120-122.5lbs in each hand. And from 45lb dumbells in each hand to 95lb in each hand for chest presses.
The progress and muscle growth is obvious. I look much different than when I first started. I feel different from when i started. Since I've slipped up, I feel like crap and don't have the confidence I once did, but everyone that I know will compliment me whether I saw them yesterday, a month ago or 2 years ago. I ask for their opinion, "Do I look like I've gained weight to you?" The typical response is no, you look great.
Right now, I'd say I'm in a bad trend. I'm aware of this trend and have been for a while. I don't feel like I'm strong willed enough to get through it alone or even with my current set of supportive people. I'm not the type of person who can motivate themself for extended periods of time. Also, motivation from others doesn't last long. I'm not sure what to do to keep the motivation alive.
This year I hope things will be different. My goal weight isn't too far away. My ideal appearence is not far away. I want it so bad, but at the same time I'm destracted and my goals are getting further and further away. Why? I know the answer, but can I fix it? Can I Really fix it?
I hope that this post doesn't come across as rediculously pathetic. Please comment if you wouldnt mind. I can use some unbiased opinions and support.
This is my first time actively trying to write a journal/blog about anything so bear with my rambling.
Yesterday was a big day for me. I realized that I have multiple things in my life that will either distract or hault my weight loss progress. One of which, and the biggest, is a game.
I play a game that some of you may or may not have heard of/play, called World of Warcraft. The game is fun and allows me to interact with a lot of my friends that I dont see much in real life. With that in mind, also keeping in mind that I might be trying to defend my playing habits, I play alot more than someone should.
This habit does not take over my social life completely; I still see my friends and do things outside of play the game, just not as often or as easily as before I played the game.
I've quit before, but like any other addiction (and yes this is an addiction, google WoW addiction), it hangs in the back of my mind and eventually I start playing again.
To give you a scale of how bad this addiction is I will let you know how much time in the last few years I have spent playing this game. For those who haven't played this game, while on your in game character you can use a text command (/played) to see how long you have been playing on a specific character. I have a total of 12 characters.
For example, my oldest character, the one I've been playing the longest, has been played for 74 days. That doesnt mean that I've played 2 hours for 74 days. That means I've played 1,776 hours (74 days).... ON THAT ONE CHARACTER!
My other characters are less, but by no means better. Another character has been played for 48 days. Another for 30 days. Another for 15 days. the next for 11 and the rest are 3-7 days.
Here are the stats of my estimated play time:
Days: 204
Hours: 4896
Months: Close to 7
....I've spent 7 whole months...WHOLE MONTHS... of my life playing this game. This one game. I'm only 25 years old, 7 months out of 300 may not seem like alot but when compared to the percentage of life wasted on this one game (2.3%), its alot.
Would you think that the data I just presented would wake me up and make me stop playing the game 'cold turkey'? ...Nope. Instead my mind is now conflicted.
One part is thinking, wow you cant spend anymore time playing this game. Real life is happening and the more time 'you' spend playing this game the less you will be able to enjoy the pleasures of real life. The one life 'you' were given.
The other part of my mind is thinking, if 'you' stop playing now all of 'your' friends will surpass 'you' and 'you' wont be able to spend 'time' with them. 'You' enjoy their company and wouldn't want that to happen, would 'you'? Besides the game is really fun and 'you' can control it. Why not continue to play, even if only for a little bit?
Then when the time comes to do things in real life my thought process changes to: How can I get done with this as quickly as possible so that I can get home and do random things in the game? Do I need to go to the gym? Why not just stay home and enjoy time with my friends on the game and have some food that tastes good? I've eaten well all day today, if I have a sandwhich or pizza it shouldnt be bad right? I'll just go to the gym and start fresh with eating tomorrow. No big dead.
YES, BIG DEAL!
It's gotten so bad that from doing really well and feeling really good with the way I look, I've become self concious and doubting again. I've not gained too much weight back (deflecting again), but it's enough to cause me concern. I went from being 283 to 295. 12 lbs has returned to my body.
My Stats:
I'm 295 lbs rigth now. I started at 335-345 lbs in august of 2006. The lowest I've gotten was 273 over the last year and a quater. My weight seemed to become stable at 283 for a very long time. I went from not being able to do 1 push up to doing 183 in an hour. From no dips to 30+ in 10 min. From no Pull Ups to 32 in 10-15 min. From 60lb dumbbell rows to 120-122.5lbs in each hand. And from 45lb dumbells in each hand to 95lb in each hand for chest presses.
The progress and muscle growth is obvious. I look much different than when I first started. I feel different from when i started. Since I've slipped up, I feel like crap and don't have the confidence I once did, but everyone that I know will compliment me whether I saw them yesterday, a month ago or 2 years ago. I ask for their opinion, "Do I look like I've gained weight to you?" The typical response is no, you look great.
Right now, I'd say I'm in a bad trend. I'm aware of this trend and have been for a while. I don't feel like I'm strong willed enough to get through it alone or even with my current set of supportive people. I'm not the type of person who can motivate themself for extended periods of time. Also, motivation from others doesn't last long. I'm not sure what to do to keep the motivation alive.
This year I hope things will be different. My goal weight isn't too far away. My ideal appearence is not far away. I want it so bad, but at the same time I'm destracted and my goals are getting further and further away. Why? I know the answer, but can I fix it? Can I Really fix it?
I hope that this post doesn't come across as rediculously pathetic. Please comment if you wouldnt mind. I can use some unbiased opinions and support.
I am familiar with WoW though Ive never played it, I knew someone who did a long time ago. I heard it can be very addicting. Have you ever tried papa johns whole wheat pizza? Thats the only kind of pizza I order now and I prefer to the white flour pizza, Ive never gained weight from eating that so ive never felt guilty~ maybe that would be a good alternative if you want pizza and help you to not feel guilty? Anyways congrats for what you have lost, I cant wait to watch you succeed your goal!!
