Jiwan Shakti
New member
Last month on December 22nd 2008, I stared hard at myself in the GAP changing room. I had a size 10 pair of jeans stuck half way up my thighs. I had graduated to size 12!
I’m 5 feet 4 inches tall. 11 years ago, I was 22 years old and 110 pounds. Today I am 33 years old and 175 pounds. But it is more than just about my weight.
When I look back, I wonder what happened. Yes, lots of things have taken place in the last 11 years that may have caused me to get to this point. I don’t want to make excuses for myself but at the same time, I don’t want to be unkind to myself.
I never gained weight as a child, teenager or throughout college; I could eat whatever I wanted. BUT so much has changed since then. Since then, I got married, moved away from a hot climate, friends and family to a foreign country (which is now my home), with subzero temp in winters, stopped using public transport for travel, got introduced to cheeseburgers and pizzas, worked as visual designer in a sedentary corporate setting, had a baby, got laid off, worked stressful hours as consultant, tried to deal with marriage falling apart, separated… etc.
Funny part is soon after I came to the US, I got myself a membership at Bally’s. I was initially very aware of what I ate and how much and I also worked out (cardio) regularly. But somehow, somewhere, those routines started slipping… finishing deadlines at work seemed more important, just eating to feel good became a habit.
Honestly, looking back, I know my priorities shifted somewhere when I was trying to bridge corporate America and motherhood. When I look in the mirror today with my jelly belly and fat thighs; I am angry. I don’t remember envisioning myself to grow old this way.
Like I said, it is not just about losing weight and getting back into size 6. It is setting my priorities straight and I choose to start with my body.
But I also realize, I cannot do this by myself. First of all, I wanted to feel accountable by being forthright for my own sake. Secondly, I need the support from a group that is working towards the same goals.
Cheers!
Jiwan Shakti
I’m 5 feet 4 inches tall. 11 years ago, I was 22 years old and 110 pounds. Today I am 33 years old and 175 pounds. But it is more than just about my weight.
When I look back, I wonder what happened. Yes, lots of things have taken place in the last 11 years that may have caused me to get to this point. I don’t want to make excuses for myself but at the same time, I don’t want to be unkind to myself.
I never gained weight as a child, teenager or throughout college; I could eat whatever I wanted. BUT so much has changed since then. Since then, I got married, moved away from a hot climate, friends and family to a foreign country (which is now my home), with subzero temp in winters, stopped using public transport for travel, got introduced to cheeseburgers and pizzas, worked as visual designer in a sedentary corporate setting, had a baby, got laid off, worked stressful hours as consultant, tried to deal with marriage falling apart, separated… etc.
Funny part is soon after I came to the US, I got myself a membership at Bally’s. I was initially very aware of what I ate and how much and I also worked out (cardio) regularly. But somehow, somewhere, those routines started slipping… finishing deadlines at work seemed more important, just eating to feel good became a habit.
Honestly, looking back, I know my priorities shifted somewhere when I was trying to bridge corporate America and motherhood. When I look in the mirror today with my jelly belly and fat thighs; I am angry. I don’t remember envisioning myself to grow old this way.
Like I said, it is not just about losing weight and getting back into size 6. It is setting my priorities straight and I choose to start with my body.
But I also realize, I cannot do this by myself. First of all, I wanted to feel accountable by being forthright for my own sake. Secondly, I need the support from a group that is working towards the same goals.
Cheers!
Jiwan Shakti
