Imagine that... actually eating and losing weight and not starving yourself -
Whoddathunk?
Congrats on the weigh in
Whoddathunk?
Congrats on the weigh in
J
Jillzy_2008
Guest
Imagine that!! hee hee
ok, resident meanie... thank you, truly
skipped breakfast, was waiting for the daycare kiddos to get here so we could eat together so I didnt eat MY breakfast and THEIRS!!
they all came late, figures!
so I started today with lunch:
4oz slice of lasagna (I scarfed from that buffet yesteday!) salad with olive oil, 2 glases skim milk (Im really beginning to love skim milk!) MAJOR CARB MEAL ALERT
also got in all my water for the day...
after I tracked this meal into fitday, I decided it was too much carbs and not enough protein, so I drank another glass of skim milk and added tbsp protein powder to round it out....
entire meal was calories 550 fat 9 carbs 59 protein 56
I feel better when I follow the 40/40/20 rule which i 40% protein, 40% carbs and 20% fat which this ended up being...
ps. bringing one of those FLAT OUTS from tupperware to a buffet is soooooooooooo cool, you can slip it out, fill it up and RUN, hahaha (sans the lasagna today!)
I shared my peice of lasagna with the daycare kids today and we were all happy!
Ive got a little girl here who LOVES salad!! isnt that cool!!?? she ate two bowls and so did I, it sure was fun to be eating the same stuff im serving the kids, I think they like it too...
snack with the kiddos: 15 baby goldfish (only 25 calories!)
ok, resident meanie... thank you, truly
skipped breakfast, was waiting for the daycare kiddos to get here so we could eat together so I didnt eat MY breakfast and THEIRS!!
they all came late, figures!
so I started today with lunch:
4oz slice of lasagna (I scarfed from that buffet yesteday!) salad with olive oil, 2 glases skim milk (Im really beginning to love skim milk!) MAJOR CARB MEAL ALERT
also got in all my water for the day...
after I tracked this meal into fitday, I decided it was too much carbs and not enough protein, so I drank another glass of skim milk and added tbsp protein powder to round it out....
entire meal was calories 550 fat 9 carbs 59 protein 56
I feel better when I follow the 40/40/20 rule which i 40% protein, 40% carbs and 20% fat which this ended up being...
ps. bringing one of those FLAT OUTS from tupperware to a buffet is soooooooooooo cool, you can slip it out, fill it up and RUN, hahaha (sans the lasagna today!)
I shared my peice of lasagna with the daycare kids today and we were all happy!
Ive got a little girl here who LOVES salad!! isnt that cool!!?? she ate two bowls and so did I, it sure was fun to be eating the same stuff im serving the kids, I think they like it too...
snack with the kiddos: 15 baby goldfish (only 25 calories!)
Last edited:
J
Jillzy_2008
Guest
ok, dinner:
ate light because going to soccer game tonight, and I want a hot dog!
dinner: tossed salad with 2 oz steak and 1/2 avocado
at the game: hot dog with mustard and onion... mmmmmmmmm, and 15 almonds
pm snack: cup milk with 2 tbsp protein powder
a huge portion of my calories today came from fat, something to be aware of
Totals calories 1477 fat 57 carbs 108 protein 133
ate light because going to soccer game tonight, and I want a hot dog!
dinner: tossed salad with 2 oz steak and 1/2 avocado
at the game: hot dog with mustard and onion... mmmmmmmmm, and 15 almonds
pm snack: cup milk with 2 tbsp protein powder
a huge portion of my calories today came from fat, something to be aware of
Totals calories 1477 fat 57 carbs 108 protein 133
J
Jillzy_2008
Guest
Hi Trevor!! ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))) Hope you are doing well....
My daughter is supposed to be spending this week off with me, but so far it hasn't worked out, i'm on the brink of depression, but holding tight..... I think my sadness is a big turn off for her, so its like this stupid dance...
______________________________
anyways, Im going to forward some stuff ....
from my last journal:http://weight-loss.fitness.com/weight-loss-diary/19131-jill-s-diary.html
my before photos: Picasa Web Albums - Jill - Jill diet start
Start Weight: 215.8
Goal Weight: 150 pounds
Before Measurements:
Chest 45 inches
Upper Arm 16 inches
Stomach 41 inches
Hips 50 inches
Upper thigh 30 inches
My original survey, with some editing...
What is your current height and weight?
I'm 5'2 and a 1/2 and I weigh 203.2 pounds...
If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be?
I dunno...I like 150, I know its still heavy for my weight, but it made me look nice and healthy...clothes fit good, if I get there, and still feel too heavy, Ill set a new goal.
At what weight would you like to be at four months from now?
I was HOPING for 15 pounds a month, thats probably too much, I guess 2 lbs per week x 16 weeks would be 32 pounds.
Why do you want to lose weight?
I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror, not home, not out, not in the bathroom of a bar, not full length...only maybe sometimes face only is okay. I also hate the way I look in photographs. I want to feel better in my clothes. I want men to look at me...I want to be able to join the gym and not be embarrassed about how I look, I want to be able to run without having my daughter laugh at me.... I want my brother off my case...I don't want my kids to be embarrassed of me anymore...I want to eat healthy and have healthy hair...I want to wear a bathing suit, I want to dive off a diving board, I have NEVER done that before!!! maybe even a cannonball! I don't want to be laughed at, I don't want someone to look at me, then whisper to the person next to them, "look at that fat person", I don't want people to be shocked that I can do aerobics, or yoga, or sled down a hill.. YES! FAT PEOPLE CAN DO THESE THINGS! I wanna pull the seatbelt on the plane nice and tight and have EXTRA SEATBELT!, I wanna be able to curl up in a ball like I used to, I want to be able to stand flat against a wall to adjust my posture without my giant ass getting in the way...I don't want to turn sideways to get thru a turnstile...
What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?
me and my impulsiveness to just say FUCK IT... I am my own worst enemy.
Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?
hmmmm.. I can look back to my childhood, I alway loved sugar, used to steal it...used to mix up cake mixes in the basement and eat it raw..YUCK! I was sent to bed ALOT with no dinner, I went to bed hungry ALOT...used to have to sneak into the kitchen at night like a thief....tip toeing into the kitchen, praying no one would hear me, I would get into trouble for eating fattening foods... my brother could eat anything he wanted, it wasn't fair...Dad was always saying how pretty I was, if I just lost 10 lbs... sad thing was, I wasn't even fat!! Im fat now! anyways, I saw a special on bulimia, and I was like, COOL! I can eat and be thin! Oh it worked wonderfully...eating and vomiting.. til I get sick of bulimia, of course then the weight piled on.... I didn't have a good relationship with food....and still don't...
What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight?
eating healthy, nutritionally balanced foods, continue to use fitday and the support here, if I fall off the wagon, GET BACK ON! Move, eat, plan, balance, hydrate!
Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight?
Bulimia did it my whole childhood and college years... not healthy I know.. then I lost weight on weight watchers, got down to 130...then I married an abusive man and started to not care about my weight, maybe the weight help me feel safe, I don't know... I lost a TON on atkins, but gained it back PLUS... and I have cut out sugar, flour and wheat before.. but said FUCK IT one day, and never went back...
What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work?
It doesn't help to have my brother nagging at me, I get passive aggressive and act like i don't care about my weight...jenny craig didn't help.. I ate the whole days food by noon (lol)...only exercising doesnt work, I get soooooooooooooooooooo hungry!
Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time?
Yes, and i'm doing it.
Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook?
Im cooking at home, I havent eaten out since hitting up this venture. I love to grill ont he foreman grill, my favorites are salmon, and Tilapia! Yummy, also love protein smoothies, I am told I make excellent salads.
How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go?
very rarely. wherever whoever is taking me takes me..its never my idea.and I always eat appetizers it seems like..
What are your three favorite foods?
sunflower seeds, tilapia, spinach
What are your three favorite restaurants?
Olive Garden, chinese, Italian
What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food?
plan, plan plan ahead, know where Im going and what they are going ot have, my worst times are when I eat out, I do better at home cooking my own food.
If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different?
oh my gosh!!!!!!!!! my giant ASS! beautiful face! my clothes would fall off me...
Do you eat when you are not hungry?
Yes
Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)?
Yes, I have
Do you hide your food or eat in secret?
I have done that in the past...but its been a very long time.
Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed?
Yes, and happy, and joyful, and bored...etc...
Do you eat as a reward?
ill have to think about this
Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer?
BIG Yes, and over the sink!
What do you normally eat for a meal?
protein, veggie, salad this week... in the past, anything easy... the kids uneaten food...cereal and milk, pasta, break dunked into olive oil...whatever, no rhyme or reason, just what was easy..
What type of snacks do you eat?
cereal, fruit, sunflower seeds
In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing?
walking
Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home?
Neighborhood.
What, if anything, are your three favourite types of exercise?
swimming, stretching, biking
What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals?
Daily – take it one day at a time, Jill
Weekly – to see the scale go down, hopefully
Monthly – to see my updated monthly photos.. I cant wait!!
Yearly – to reach my goals, maintain and inspire others
Do you have rewards for certain goals?
yes! a healthy happy new me!!
What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?
Thinking its just too hard and quitting...
My daughter is supposed to be spending this week off with me, but so far it hasn't worked out, i'm on the brink of depression, but holding tight..... I think my sadness is a big turn off for her, so its like this stupid dance...
______________________________
anyways, Im going to forward some stuff ....
from my last journal:http://weight-loss.fitness.com/weight-loss-diary/19131-jill-s-diary.html
my before photos: Picasa Web Albums - Jill - Jill diet start
Start Weight: 215.8
Goal Weight: 150 pounds
Before Measurements:
Chest 45 inches
Upper Arm 16 inches
Stomach 41 inches
Hips 50 inches
Upper thigh 30 inches
My original survey, with some editing...
What is your current height and weight?
I'm 5'2 and a 1/2 and I weigh 203.2 pounds...
If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be?
I dunno...I like 150, I know its still heavy for my weight, but it made me look nice and healthy...clothes fit good, if I get there, and still feel too heavy, Ill set a new goal.
At what weight would you like to be at four months from now?
I was HOPING for 15 pounds a month, thats probably too much, I guess 2 lbs per week x 16 weeks would be 32 pounds.
Why do you want to lose weight?
I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror, not home, not out, not in the bathroom of a bar, not full length...only maybe sometimes face only is okay. I also hate the way I look in photographs. I want to feel better in my clothes. I want men to look at me...I want to be able to join the gym and not be embarrassed about how I look, I want to be able to run without having my daughter laugh at me.... I want my brother off my case...I don't want my kids to be embarrassed of me anymore...I want to eat healthy and have healthy hair...I want to wear a bathing suit, I want to dive off a diving board, I have NEVER done that before!!! maybe even a cannonball! I don't want to be laughed at, I don't want someone to look at me, then whisper to the person next to them, "look at that fat person", I don't want people to be shocked that I can do aerobics, or yoga, or sled down a hill.. YES! FAT PEOPLE CAN DO THESE THINGS! I wanna pull the seatbelt on the plane nice and tight and have EXTRA SEATBELT!, I wanna be able to curl up in a ball like I used to, I want to be able to stand flat against a wall to adjust my posture without my giant ass getting in the way...I don't want to turn sideways to get thru a turnstile...
What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?
me and my impulsiveness to just say FUCK IT... I am my own worst enemy.
Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?
hmmmm.. I can look back to my childhood, I alway loved sugar, used to steal it...used to mix up cake mixes in the basement and eat it raw..YUCK! I was sent to bed ALOT with no dinner, I went to bed hungry ALOT...used to have to sneak into the kitchen at night like a thief....tip toeing into the kitchen, praying no one would hear me, I would get into trouble for eating fattening foods... my brother could eat anything he wanted, it wasn't fair...Dad was always saying how pretty I was, if I just lost 10 lbs... sad thing was, I wasn't even fat!! Im fat now! anyways, I saw a special on bulimia, and I was like, COOL! I can eat and be thin! Oh it worked wonderfully...eating and vomiting.. til I get sick of bulimia, of course then the weight piled on.... I didn't have a good relationship with food....and still don't...
What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight?
eating healthy, nutritionally balanced foods, continue to use fitday and the support here, if I fall off the wagon, GET BACK ON! Move, eat, plan, balance, hydrate!
Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight?
Bulimia did it my whole childhood and college years... not healthy I know.. then I lost weight on weight watchers, got down to 130...then I married an abusive man and started to not care about my weight, maybe the weight help me feel safe, I don't know... I lost a TON on atkins, but gained it back PLUS... and I have cut out sugar, flour and wheat before.. but said FUCK IT one day, and never went back...
What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work?
It doesn't help to have my brother nagging at me, I get passive aggressive and act like i don't care about my weight...jenny craig didn't help.. I ate the whole days food by noon (lol)...only exercising doesnt work, I get soooooooooooooooooooo hungry!
Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time?
Yes, and i'm doing it.
Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook?
Im cooking at home, I havent eaten out since hitting up this venture. I love to grill ont he foreman grill, my favorites are salmon, and Tilapia! Yummy, also love protein smoothies, I am told I make excellent salads.
How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go?
very rarely. wherever whoever is taking me takes me..its never my idea.and I always eat appetizers it seems like..
What are your three favorite foods?
sunflower seeds, tilapia, spinach
What are your three favorite restaurants?
Olive Garden, chinese, Italian
What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food?
plan, plan plan ahead, know where Im going and what they are going ot have, my worst times are when I eat out, I do better at home cooking my own food.
If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different?
oh my gosh!!!!!!!!! my giant ASS! beautiful face! my clothes would fall off me...
Do you eat when you are not hungry?
Yes
Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)?
Yes, I have
Do you hide your food or eat in secret?
I have done that in the past...but its been a very long time.
Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed?
Yes, and happy, and joyful, and bored...etc...
Do you eat as a reward?
ill have to think about this
Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer?
BIG Yes, and over the sink!
What do you normally eat for a meal?
protein, veggie, salad this week... in the past, anything easy... the kids uneaten food...cereal and milk, pasta, break dunked into olive oil...whatever, no rhyme or reason, just what was easy..
What type of snacks do you eat?
cereal, fruit, sunflower seeds
In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing?
walking
Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home?
Neighborhood.
What, if anything, are your three favourite types of exercise?
swimming, stretching, biking
What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals?
Daily – take it one day at a time, Jill
Weekly – to see the scale go down, hopefully
Monthly – to see my updated monthly photos.. I cant wait!!
Yearly – to reach my goals, maintain and inspire others
Do you have rewards for certain goals?
yes! a healthy happy new me!!
What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?
Thinking its just too hard and quitting...
Last edited:
J
Jillzy_2008
Guest
took a quick 10 minute walk this am, will walk more later with the babies...
breakfast: smoothie with cup red rasberries, cup skim milk and scoop protein powder
(becoming my new favorite food!!)
breakfast: smoothie with cup red rasberries, cup skim milk and scoop protein powder
(becoming my new favorite food!!)
I think that was insightful what you said about your daughter's feelings and the vicious cycle of your being depressed about the kids, them feeling that and not being able to bear being around to witness the depression (which they know they caused), and then you of course getting even more depressed as a consequence. My mother was ill for a number of years with a multitude of conditions that she had to dig to figure out, some of which I believe were in her head (but very real to her), and it got very depressing to hear her complain constantly about her illnesses and the doctors, that's ALL she talked about. I would still call her every day but ever conversation was the same and I wouldnt want to stay on very long or visit her very often. I know that has nothing to do with your situation, but honestly, that vibe got really hard to take and it made me want to avoid my mother. It was soooo depressing I couldn't take it. So if you think about it, your kids know that THEY are the source of your depression and as young teens they would rather avoid what makes them feel bad and guilty, even if that ends up making them feel even worse too.
I think you need to always keep this in mind: everyone needs and wants the love of their mother. No matter how bad or great they are. It doesn't matter, a child with its mother is like one of those couples that never seem to be able to break up, whether they argue, do horrible things to each other or whatever, they always seem to be hot for each other and back together. Well its like that with kids, no step mother with loads of money or buckets of smiles could ever take the place of one's own mother. Its absolutely NOTHING that you have to worry about because nature (and years of being a great mother to them) has bound them to you. That homing signal will always be there, but it does tend to get muddied during the teen years and it easily gets distracted with material items and big houses, but that homing signal always finds its way back.
I say ease up and hide your depressive feelings around your kids. Do not put a guilt trip on them because it will back fire on you. Be happy go lucky and dont put pressure on them, and given some time things will get better and better between you again. Ooops I just remembered about the advice, if this counts as advice you dont want my apologies and I'll delete my message.
I think you need to always keep this in mind: everyone needs and wants the love of their mother. No matter how bad or great they are. It doesn't matter, a child with its mother is like one of those couples that never seem to be able to break up, whether they argue, do horrible things to each other or whatever, they always seem to be hot for each other and back together. Well its like that with kids, no step mother with loads of money or buckets of smiles could ever take the place of one's own mother. Its absolutely NOTHING that you have to worry about because nature (and years of being a great mother to them) has bound them to you. That homing signal will always be there, but it does tend to get muddied during the teen years and it easily gets distracted with material items and big houses, but that homing signal always finds its way back.
I say ease up and hide your depressive feelings around your kids. Do not put a guilt trip on them because it will back fire on you. Be happy go lucky and dont put pressure on them, and given some time things will get better and better between you again. Ooops I just remembered about the advice, if this counts as advice you dont want my apologies and I'll delete my message.
J
Jillzy_2008
Guest
Thank you!!!
"I say ease up and hide your depressive feelings around your kids. Do not put a guilt trip on them because it will back fire on you. Be happy go lucky and dont put pressure on them, and given some time things will get better and better between you again. "
Thank you!! Thats probably the best advice Ive ever received, alot of people say I need to be honest with my kids about how im feeling, but it truly has backfired!
I needed to hear what you said to me... THANK YOU Soooooooooo MUCH!
"I say ease up and hide your depressive feelings around your kids. Do not put a guilt trip on them because it will back fire on you. Be happy go lucky and dont put pressure on them, and given some time things will get better and better between you again. "
Thank you!! Thats probably the best advice Ive ever received, alot of people say I need to be honest with my kids about how im feeling, but it truly has backfired!
I needed to hear what you said to me... THANK YOU Soooooooooo MUCH!
J
Jillzy_2008
Guest
as for the advice, it was really geared towards that sugar flour and wheat dilemma, I was trying so hard to follow my therapists advice, im sorry ..... Im not above advice by any means!! xoxox
J
Jillzy_2008
Guest
lunch:
made this combination of peas, chicken and brown rice ate 1 1/2 cups of it
alo had glass skim milk with a scoop of whey powder
so far today:
Totals calories 812 fat 10 carbs 88 protein 92
still need that vitamin D, Im surprised my milk isnt helping! LOL
made this combination of peas, chicken and brown rice ate 1 1/2 cups of it
alo had glass skim milk with a scoop of whey powder
so far today:
Totals calories 812 fat 10 carbs 88 protein 92
still need that vitamin D, Im surprised my milk isnt helping! LOL
J
Jillzy_2008
Guest
dinner:
1/2 cup rice, 1/2 cup peas (leftovers from lunch) 4 oz salmon and a naked protein drink.
todays Totals cals 1404 fat 20 carbs 162 protein 140
still a wee bit low on the vitamin D....
1/2 cup rice, 1/2 cup peas (leftovers from lunch) 4 oz salmon and a naked protein drink.
todays Totals cals 1404 fat 20 carbs 162 protein 140
still a wee bit low on the vitamin D....
Last edited:
bikinibound
New member
Take a multi-vitamin and you won't have to worry about it. It's very hard to get in ALL one's daily requirements from food alone.
Congrats on losing more weight!!!!!!
Very good advice from Claudia re your kids.
J
Jillzy_2008
Guest
Thank Kimberly....
now I just need to figure out what to do with myself when i dont see my kids... Im especially at my worst when I plan to see them and it doesnt work out, like this week....
darned depression!!!
ps. thanks for the congrats!
now I just need to figure out what to do with myself when i dont see my kids... Im especially at my worst when I plan to see them and it doesnt work out, like this week....
darned depression!!!
ps. thanks for the congrats!
bikinibound
New member
Break out the tequila!!
Just kidding!!I dunno what to tell ya about that. Maybe have a back up plan of something fun that would cheer you up. Or exercise--that releases endorphins which make you feel better. So the next time you're feeling down, go work out. Not only will you feel better, but you'll burn calories. And then the only thing that'll be down is the scale.
When I get mad or frustrated, I find that a good workout always makes me feel better. I'm sure it will have a similar effect with depression. The trick is getting off your butt and exercising..lol. At least, that's the hard part for me.
J
Jillzy_2008
Guest
youre so cute!! I do need to find that love of exercise people talk about! haha
J
Jillzy_2008
Guest
aw! HI!!!!
Thanks sooooooooooooo much for checking in!!!
busy day yesterday, I didnt get on much, sunny weather mixed in with my favorite pro soccer team starting up, having daughter here (it worked out!!) and fighting a cold... topped with all the neighborhood kids wanting to come over cause my daughter is here...
but did pretty well yesterday...
somehow I skipped breakfast again but I dont seem to mind that, I get done what I need to get done!
lunch and dinner were the same: my homemade garlic chicken with broccoli, mmmm
(with lunch I had a nice tossed salad)
nightime snack, quesedilla with cheddar cheese, two cups apple juice
Totals cals 1505 fat 64 carbs 110 protein 124
Thanks sooooooooooooo much for checking in!!!
busy day yesterday, I didnt get on much, sunny weather mixed in with my favorite pro soccer team starting up, having daughter here (it worked out!!) and fighting a cold... topped with all the neighborhood kids wanting to come over cause my daughter is here...
but did pretty well yesterday...
somehow I skipped breakfast again but I dont seem to mind that, I get done what I need to get done!
lunch and dinner were the same: my homemade garlic chicken with broccoli, mmmm
(with lunch I had a nice tossed salad)
nightime snack, quesedilla with cheddar cheese, two cups apple juice
Totals cals 1505 fat 64 carbs 110 protein 124
Last edited:
J
Jillzy_2008
Guest
I picked up a dr phil weight loss cookbook from a fellow freecycler this am, he lost 100 pounds!!! so inspiring!!!!
Dr Phils weight loss scheme always amused the crap out of me - His "ulimate weight loss solution" or something like that - with a picture of his not even remotely slim looking self on the cover...
J
Jillzy_2008
Guest
hee hee!! (of they wouldnt let me just send HEE HEE, too short!)
His recipes look kinda cool!
His recipes look kinda cool!