Jessica's Diary- small goal, long struggle

jesbar

jesbar

New member
My current weight is about 144 lbs. I am 5' 5.5" and 28 yrs old. Here is my info:

I want to loose 5-10 lbs in the next 2.5 months by eating high fiber/lower carb and exercising. My hubby is trying to get in shape for an adventure race but dieting with a man is just not the same. It is so much easier for him. My old weight loss buddy moved across the country and I am looking for a new one. I know I am capable of loosing the weight, I just need to stick to it and not eat too much crap! I have been watching what I eat and dieting for about 10 months, lost about 10 lbs and in the past few weeks, I just sputtered out. I was emotionally eating, drinking too much beer and Easter. So, this past week I started eating better.

I really HATE counting calories but I do try to journal and kind of keep track. Here is a typical day of eating for me (on a good day):

Breakfast: English muffin with PB & J
Decaf with cream
Snack: Banana
Lunch: Salad (spinach, veggies, croutons, little cheese, hard boiled egg,
light dressing)
Skinny Cow cheese wedge
Strawberries with 1 tsp sugar
Snack: Orange
Dinner: Grilled chicken
Salad/steamed veggie
Grilled sweet potato with a little olive oil and salt/pepper.
All Day: 6-8 glasses of water or sugar free kool-aid

This looks ok, may have too many calories but I can loose weight with it when I exercise. It is just the BAD days with the bad snacks and candy.

My exercise plan is pretty fluid. Unfortunatley working full time, with a child, a puppy, and a house, finding time to exercise when it is light out is difficult. I like to run and rollerblade and am going to do that every other day with at home weight training. Then, the off days we take our son to the park and walk the dog. Hopefully I can stick to healthier eating, find time to run, and loose the fat! I want to look good in a bikini before getting preggo again. Plus I have my 10 year hs reunion this summer.

I would love feedback/advice/motivation!

Thanks,
Jessica
:eek:
 
The Jelly Beans Got Me!

I would think that the first day into my diary, I would try really hard to be good but some jelly beans over powered me :mad: . At least they are now gone and I got a long walk in with a friend. I ate pretty well today dispite those jelly beans.
It seems like after we put our son to bed, I am unable to do much of anything. I am so tired, I just want to go to sleep on the couch (I wake up at 5:45 every day and don't stop going until about 8:00 pm). Usually we get in a chore or two, and I either cash out on the sofa or grab a beer and relax :( . There are a lot of crafts I enjoy, cleaning that could be done and exercises I could do in front of the tv. I am hoping that more exercise will keep my energy levels up.
I wish I better undstood why it is so difficult to stick to my diet. Is it because I am within reach of my goal? Is it because I don't mind the way I look? I don't know....
I will try better tonight! Maybe I will put on that bikini for inspiration :p !:
 
Who knew that highly processed, kid friendly foods were so good? :rolleyes: Maybe that is why kids like them.... We were sitting down to a nice dinner of grilled turkey burgers (no bun), grilled sweet potato, and steamed veggies when my 18 mo son's chicken corn dogs were ready. I just HAD to eat a couple. Oh, and he loves chips so I HAD to eat some of those too. Oh, and why did I need two beers? Because of my hard day at the office? No, because I wanted them! This self control thing is tricky. At least I walked again last
night (no run though, my son was too crabby to strap into the running stroller).

My hubby wanted rice crispy bars last night so I helped him make them. I was good though, just had a little. He, on the other hand, chowed down 2/3 the pan and probably won't see a slight difference in the scale. This is the same person that thinks eating an entire bag of cesar salad is good for him (50 grams of fat, tons of calories...). I have been dreaming of the six pack he had when we met, and I am sure he is dreaming of the tight butt I once had. But, I always think that I would rather have him home than working out two hours a day.

I brought my running clothes and shoes to work today and am going to try to go over my lunch break. I am not sure about coming back to the office hot and sweaty will be too much fun (my office is a nice steamy 80 degrees right now) but I am willing to give it a go. If I don't, I won't get any exercise at all today - we have to watch my friends kids.

I have this fantasy that is kind of selfish. I really want to be a stay at home mom, at least part time, so I see more of my son. Yea, that's great. But, I also want more time at home so I can exercise more...I feel a little ashamed and would never tell my hubby that. It really isn't a possibility right now but we are trying to get things ready so I can do that after we have another child (daycare is sooo expensive! :mad: ). I work at a University that is surrounded by neighborhoods and always see moms out with the strollers during the day. I wish that was me! Maybe I can find a job where I can work from home.
 
Am I just getting heavier?

We have this group of friends that gets together once a month for dinner. Each week, one couple takes a turn cooking a vegetarian dinner for everyone. Last night was Thai. We had cream cheese wontons, soup, spring rolls, and green curry. Yes, that is a lot of food and yes, I ate some of all of it. I left the house thinking that I would be good and watch what I ate, and I did ok. But, again, I drank too much and ate too much. Most of it was healthy though! :p
The rest of the day went pretty well. We are totally broke right now and don't have any food. So, I had a breakfast burrito, then a middle eastern wrap w/veggies for lunch, a granola bar for a snack (oh and some chocolate that was delivered to my office:mad: ). It will be better today!
I wish I understood why I can't commit to this better. I know I REALLY want to loose the weight but I have such trouble saying no. I stepped on the scale this morning and it looks like I have gained about 3 lbs in the past 3 weeks :( . I am pre-menstrual and that may account for it :rolleyes: (I have no idea what is normal for me, I just went off the pill for the first time in a LONG time).
This morning I set my alarm for 5:20 to get up for a run but it seemed too dark out to be on the street. Maybe I will suck it up and just do it!!
The plan for today: (breakfast was crap because again, we have no food)
-Two eggo waffles (they do add vitamins to them!) with all-fruit jelly
-Raw veggies, 2 hard boiled eggs, and a granola bar for lunch
-Orange for a snack
-Dinner...hmmmmmm.....We have turkey hot dogs or pasta. Neither sound very healthy to me. The plan is to go grocery shopping tonight.
My hubby and I are going for a run when I get home from work. Tomorrow I am planning on running/rollerblading again and I have a softball scrimmage on Sunday (although it is supposed to be raining). I have no excuse not to be outside this weekend. Most of it is supposed to be beautiful. Maybe we will take the kiddo to a nice park and fit in some exercise while we are there.
 
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