Jen's Journal

J

JenJen

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I've always been the "chubby" one of my friends...funny thing, though, is that when I look back at the pictures of me in highschool (only 5 years ago) I was MUCH thinner and really had no reason to always feel so fat. I'm certainly not the same now, I know I'm overweight, and I'm not happy with myself. I'm tired of hearing "Jen would be hot if she was thinner". It's not so much in how much I weigh, but how I feel. I'm uncomfortable, I can't find clothes that fit right that look good, and I get nervous when I feel like someone is looking at me for my size. I dont necessarily want to weigh a certain amount, although I did set a goal for myself, I want to be a size 10, whatever weight that may take me to. Theres a long history of heart problems in my family, so my first and foremost concern is my own health. I have back pains from being so "top heavy", carpel tunnel, bones that pop whenever I twist, I'm always tired, and always.. always.. hungry. It's sad, but I can sit and think to myself how I really need to do something about my weight and in the same thought wonder if I have any icecream left. I need to do this, for my health, for my happiness. My boyfriend is supportive either way I go, he loves me whether fat or thin, but I see his eyes get side tracked by other girls, and it's NEVER girls my size. He's a man, I know he's not blind, but it makes me feel like I'm not what he's attracted to. He always reassures me I'm beautiful no matter my size, no matter how ugly my pajama pants. I'm joining WW next week, I've lost 18 pounds on it before (which came quickly back as soon as I stopped) but if anyone has any suggestions or ideas please share!! Another concern of mine is loose skin. I'm not terribly obese, but I'm so scared that losing weight is going to cause floppy skin and saggy breasts. So if anyone knows of a good way to prevent or at least minimize this possibility let me know how! :confused:
 
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hey there hon! glad to have you with us!

I can relate to so much of what you are saying!!! Just know that someone has been there before, and that we understand everything that you are going through... you can do this, and we can help =)

I haven't ever tried WW, but I hear that it's really great. I think what helped me the most was keeping track each day here in this forum what I ate and what exercise I did. I didn't always pick the best things to eat, even if I THOUGHT it was healthy, and having people be able to look at what fods I was eating and comment was SO helpful!!!

I was concerned too about loose skin... I think that for the most part, our body will respond and it is not a huge problem for everyone. Something that I have tried is skin firming lotion... you can get it pretty cheap if you look for the generic brands (I think suave has one)... I haven't noticed a huge difference, but I also haven't used it everyday like it suggests. But if it is a concern, you could try that.

oh... and the breasts were a worry for myself too! But actually, if as you lose weight you are able to do some chest exercises - even just throwing in a few push-ups a few times a week... you will be fine. The only thing that I don't like is that my boobs have gotten smaller... I used to be a 36-C, and I went in for a fitting at Vicky's today, and I was down to a 34-B :eek: My fiance LOVES how I look (and he really never complained and always told me I was beautiful before) BUT he is sad that I don't have as much "boobie" for him to - well, you know... ;)

I'm glad you are here! whee!
 
Well, I am hoping they do get smaller, but not too much. Yesterday I didn't do very well at beginning the lose 5 pounds by the 7th thing. My scale is broken, unless I somehow went from 205 to 150 with no visual effect within a week. When I move around on it it goes down lower, so I think it's time for a new one.
 
Hey JenJen.....
I have been in your place..and its a good thing your doing something about it NOW.....the older you get the harder it is....
Weight watchers is great!......That is what I am doing..( just not going to the meetings)..I love it because you can still eat normal food.....it may cost you alot of points...but that is the whole idea.....to teach you to choose healthier choices so you dont run out of your points by 1 pm....lol....
You boyfriend sounds like a great NORMAL guy!....Dont tell me you dont ever look at other guys??!!!..lol....
So what kind of exercising do you plan on doing?.....Have got to do the exercise thing if you dont want saggy excesss skin....but your young(and from your pic dont look big at all.).....so you shouldnt have any problem with that!!!!!.....
And putting skin lotion is not a bad idea....just dont rely solely on that!.......
 
that's crazy about the scale! I have to reset mine each time I move it... b/c my bathroom floor isn't very level... if I don't like what it says, sometimes I move it to a different part of the room, and then it's better ;) now I have it in a corner though where it seems pretty level and so we'll see how it goes! good luck finding a new one, if that's what you need =)
 
As far as exercising, I have a gym at my work I can go to for free, I plan on scheduling my fitness assesment tomorrow. The fact that I sit in a cubicle all day doesn't help much, either. I plan on taking the stairs at least half way up (i work on the 6th floor) until I can get used to doing it without passing out. I've also seen a lot of people talking about taebo, maybe i should try that? Does it work well? My mom used The Firm tapes, they incorporate weights with aerobics, and she's gotten results from that.
 
JenJen, glad you joined us. Ohhh I have felt exactly like you do and still do at times. The thing that surprised me most about eating well, was that when I do it right I am never hungry. I might crave the bad stuff and I don't mind having some of it as long as I fit it into my calories...but man, I am starting to hate empty calories. Anyway -- my opinion, if you are hungry all the time it is like your body is crying out that it needs something...for me it is/was protein and iron. Check your library for the book picture perfect weight loss by howard shapiro -- I don't agree with everything he says and the words in the book are not why I recommend it. The book has pictures, side by side comparisons of two meals and when you see how much food you can eat if it is healthy you will be amazed. The pizza pic for me was a killer...I love love love pizza, but haven't had a slice since seeing how much one piece adds up to. Anyway, the book is an eye opener.

The other thing. You are beautiful...just as you are. Your picture shows that. This has been a big problem for me too. So while I am working on changing my eating and exercise, I am also working on accepting myself the way that I am. I'm trying to change my definition of beauty. Because deep down inside I don't want my appearance to define me. I know I have a lot of great stuff inside and slowly I am starting to realize that that might just be more important to me. Keep posting!
 
Today was (is) my first day counting points with WW. I've done okay, so long as I don't eat terrible foods for dinner. I planned on having salad tonight with steamed vegies anyway. For breakfast, I turned down a big fat bagel with tons of cream cheese (YUM) for oatmeal (2 points). I've snacked on graham crackers (2 points) and for lunch had a chicken cordon bleu wrap (which is what killed my points). I hope I'm able to stick with WW and not cheat like I did last time. I've been drinking water whenever I think about eating some candy. This is hard, but I know that in the long run it will be well worth it.
 
Hey JenJen, glad to have you in Group #1... we are going to win this girl!
Do your weight watchers and I think you'll fall right back into things.
I was very hungry when b4 I started dieting, even though I was always eating. It didnt make sense. Now that I am on sched, my body is on sched, and is only hungry when its lunchtime, snacktime, dinnertime.... its nice!
TAE BO ~ I LOVE IT! Tae Bo helps me get my day started and gives me energy, strength and I feel like I can kick some butt too. LOL You should see me, I'm always faking people out with fake throws and kicks at them.... I'm too silly
I looked at your pics, another pretty girl joining the club!
 
way to go with your choices today! you can do it and stick to your plan this time... because you know what is different? you have us!!! =)

keep it up babe... only 11 days left
 
JenJen-
If you can just get through the first 2 weeks ....It will become so much easier!!!! Dont look at it as a "diet"....its your new begining of healthy life eating!!!!
My dad lost 80lbs..My aunt lost 90.......You can do this!!!...Add the exercise and the weight will just start to melt off you!!!!!.....Buy the weight watchers magazine...they really help ! And they have success stories..( great motivational tool)...and wonderful recipes!!!......
 
Not so great today. I had the fitness exam at the gym in my work, I weigh 206, not 204. I was a little disapointed, but thats alright.. I ate sort of okay... oatmeal for breakfast, pretzels for snack, turkey sandwich for lunch, then.. heres where i messed up... more pretzels.. then more pretzels... I still haven't had dinner yet, I'm not real hungry right now. I'm not sure what I'll have but I know I'm craving a big fat cheeseburger.

On a positive note, I'm about to exercise. The gym trainer showed me some things to do to get rid of my bat wings (underarm fat) and tone my butt so it will be more sexy-ish. I'll be doing those tonight.
 
while a cheeseburger may TASTE good... it won't LOOK good on you =) hehehe... I keep thinking of those commercials where the people become donuts b/c they have been eating them... maybe that will help you pick out some nice tall lean asparagus to eat tonight instead?! =)
 
hey !! good thinking ... lol* right on! i need to think more like that ... hmm what veggie would I like to be ... how about a long stem of celery! works for me!
 
sweetie, where are you at? How is it coming? do I need to threaten you like Christina did to me ;) Hop to it babe =)
 
Hey, I'm gonna have alot of traveling to do, getting all my girls back on track.... Hope youre doing well sweetie!
 
Hey babe... group one is doing awesome so far, and christina and I are totally rockin out here... are you doing okay?! Hope everything is all right!
 
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