Jay's Weight Loss Diary

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wlchampion07

New member
Day 0

Hi, my name's Jason and I''m pretty much an exercise addict. I care a lot about my health and so I do what I can to maintain it. However, I get off track from time to time and I gain a lot of weight and lose my results. I get so angry with myself for not being strong enough to hold on to a good thing. It's so easy to begin (there isn't any bar that's been set) but when I lose my focus and slip up, It's almost impossible for me to get back on track and stay back on track (I constantly compare to prior progress and lose hope). It breaks my heart to have to go back to the same workout routine know that I taken steps backwards, when I was doing so... so well. I guess what I'm looking for from you guys is support. I can't get it from my family. They don't understand what I'm going through.

See, I'm bulimic. It stems from me feeling that I don't have any control of my life. Bulimia is why I gain so much weight when I get off track. I need to you all to tell me that when I not if, because I always do, slip up that going 200-400 calories over my caloric allotment (1300 calories/daily) won't make me fat, and doesn't warrant giving up on all my hard work that diet and exercise really are. I binge so badly when I make one little mistake. For instance, the thing that triggered my last fallout was the risk of not being able to exercise for a particular day. I panicked and I binged. Please you guys. I want this to be the last time I ever feel this way, fat and worthless. This has to work, this has to last. I don't have the will power to keep it together on my own. I'm asking for help, I'm begging for support.

I'm starting tomorrow. I'm shooting for a breakfast, lunch, and dinner of no more than 400 calories each. When I get home from school, I'm going to have dinner before my Billy's Bootcamp: Basic Training workout dvd. That way I'll have something in my stomach. I'm getting excited just thinking about it! I'll visit these forums daily, I swear. Please support me, and I won't fail. I just can't do it alone.

BTW: I'm 17, in the 11th grade, and I'm from North Carolina.

P.S. Originally posted in Newcomers.
P.P.S Good luck to myself!!!! :) :)
 
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hi welcome Jason! i'm sure u'll get the right support here.
btw wats yr height n weight?

r u doing Billy Blanks? I've them too! It's good stuff! But i didn't see the Basic Training one so got the other Fat Blaster and Cardio. Hv fun!
 
Jay,

You have a lot of courage sharing some of your backgrounds. Hopefully, we can get your down to your normal size. I'm not a big fun of cutting your caloric intake to so low, but if you feel that you can maintain this, then good luck to ya.

There's a lot of friendly folks on here and you can find lots of support. I'll check your journalf rom time to time :)

-adam
 
omg

Day 1

Thank you both so much for responding so quickly to my thread! I really appreciate it. I didn't expect to have any responses today! Wow, you've already shown me that I'll have the support that I'll need. I'm sorry if I keep talking so much about myself, I'm really not a selfish person.

I'm hesitant to tell you all my height and weight as BMI is in the "normal" range. But I trust you so here it goes. My height is 5' 8' and my weight is (goes to scale), as of today 143-144 lbs. Before all this weight gain madness, I weighed 132 lbs. My goal weight is 130 pounds. I will begin exercising soon, like within the next hour, and I hope all goes well. I haven't exercised in the last four days because I just couldn't do it without proper dieting. Now that I've started back dieting, now I finally feel like I can start exercising again.

BTW, you guys saved me today. I was about to actually jog downstairs, walk into my kitchen, and engorge myself with peanut butter. Then after that, I would have started putting that peanut butter on crackers. After that I would've probably finished the other half of the ~1 pound honey nut cheerios box. Then I would've went to the Breyers strawberry yogurt, then to the ice cream. I would've kept eating until, I felt awful enough to stop, come upstairs and exercise with a huge stomach, from all the food (I'm determined to exercise today). BUT, I decided to check the forum and when I saw that 2 people had actually took the time to read my story and support me through this, that gave me the stength to keep going, and not give up. Thank you guys so much. I won't disappoint you. :)

P.S. I always get nervous about exercising. I feel like I'm weak and I'll be unable to do it and I won't burn as many calories and I'll fail. I'm so scared about starting exercise today.
 
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130lbs for your height seems awfully low... you're still quite young and your body is still growing and developing - please make sure you are getting enough nutrition into to you... 1300 calories on a daily basis for an active young man is very low.

Have you talked to your parents or guardians or some adult at school who you can trust about your bulimia - that's a rough condition to recover from.

Have you had an honest assessment from someone who has said you are fat, becuase 142 lbs at 5'8" isn't...

We really encourage you to be healthy and if you do need to lose wieght do it in a sensible way...
 
Hey there Jason :). Excellent job that you plan to exercise again and to cut back on the binging. Please dont get mad but I agree that 1300 is too low and is probably partly the cause of your binges. I know I'd start binging on that and my metabolism is probably a lot slower than yours. How about trying to eat a bit more, say 1800 calories per day on average, and see if that doesn't stop your binging habit. Once you stop the binges, which consequently cause you to avoid exercise, you'll automatically lose the weight. On 1800 cals you can squeeze in a couple of crackers w/ peanut butter or a few bowls of cereal. So you get to have your snacks but you know you can have more tomorrow so no need to binge, right? I think it could be the extremism in your thinking that could be causing your weight gain so I'd ease up on the control a bit and I think things may fall into place naturally from there. Best of luck to you!
 
Thanks for caring

Day 2

Thanks for responding Malefent and Blancita. I totally understand your concerns. I'm starting to freak out now. I don't know how many calories I should eat! That's one of my biggest dieting fears. I just pulled the Billy's Bootcamp seven day success plan, and It doesn't make sense to me.

Verbatim here are the relevant sections: "For optimal results, follow Billy's Bootcamp Success Plan. This healthy, low-carb eating plan is designed for you to follow for one week to jump-start your weight loss regimen. Billy has designed this as a 1400-calorie plan; men should increase their caloric intake to 1800-200 calories by adding snacks from the 200-calorie snack list provided. This 7-day plan is tailored specifically for you with breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks all mapped out. All of the low-carb meals are simple and consist of real, wholesome, fresh foods."

Ok, now under "Before you begin, here are a few of Billy's Secret Eating Tips:" (there are 10 of them). On number 4 it says: " After one week, raise your calorie level by adding additional foods and snacks from the 200-calorie snack list, or resume a healthy diet. A good rule of thumb to determine how many calories your bod needs for maintaining its current weight is to multiply your current weight by 10. This number will be your calorie level. (For example, if you weigh 1500 lbs., then you should be eating 1500 calories/day.)

Now, that's all I've been working with. Paragraph 2 and 3 contradict themselves so here's why and what I did:

1. How: 1800-2000 calories is above my calorie/age range. So: I input my goal weight, now 135 (because of your health concerns) into the formula and I've come out with 1350 calories/day. I think that makes sense, please let me know if it doesn't.

*Also, I'm not following a low carb diet. I'm only concerned with eating sensibly, and not going over my caloric intake.

Based on the above information, do you guys now think that 1350 calories/day is alright. I really don't want to mess this up. I'm doing so good with it so far, and I know as soon as I make a mistake, I'll think I'm doomed. Please don't let me doom myself. I'm really depending on you guys. I need this. I'm taking this very seriously. (sorry... I'm not yelling)

Dear Diary,

Honestly, today was great. I felt so strong, and empowered that I just couldn't contain myself. I don't want to lose this feeling. Deep down inside I know that I should eat more, but I just don't know what and how much. I fear that I'll just mess up this diet just like all the others. Diary please don't give up on me, diet, please don't let me go. Diary I need you like you need my writing. I'm doing what I can. I'm fighting to keep this diet, but I'm afraid of losing it. Should I add calories and risk slowing down my diet+exercise results or should I buck it on out and keep this up? I would stay with 1350 calories if I felt I had a choice, but I don't think my body is giving me one. Diary I know that If I don't eat enough calories, I won't lose weight and I'll feel dizzy when I exercise (exercise is what doesn't let me get away with low calories). Diary, I just don't know what to do. Diary, I need help. :confused:
-Jason, Day 2

Thank you all for reading.
 
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Take adeep breath Jason..

you weigh 135lbs -why do you think you need to lose weight?

Height: 5 feet, 8 inches
Weight: 135 pounds

Your BMI is 20.5, indicating your weight is within the normal range for adults of your height.

BMI isn't a true indicator of health, but it's a starting point...

what makes yu think you are fat?
 
Improving your fitness and physique are both good things and there are people here who can help yoou with that -but that's seperate from your weight ... I'd hate to see you do long term damage to yourself by losing too much weight
 
Hey, quick response.

No, my weight isn't 135. That's my new goal. I weight between 143 and 144 pounds. I put in 135pounds because I wanted to eat the amount of calories necessary to maintain that amount of weight.

I know I need to lose weigh because I have a lot of thigh fat and am quickly gaining belly fat. I don't want to wait until I'm "overweight" according to my BMI in order to lose weight. I can *feel* and *see* where the fat on my body is that wasn't there before. You guys are helping me.
 
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