Jaymie's fitness journal :)

J

JaymieB

0
I am kinda scared mine is going to be alot different from you guys'. But I am going to put it on here anyway because I am trying to structure my thoughts with all this..

Okay so here is today so far:

FOOD:
--------
breakfast - 1 packet of instant oatmeal (100)
1/2 cup skim milk (45)

lunch- 1/2 cup nonfat yogurt (35)

okay well its 1:30 now .
So if I get hungry later I'll probably have a packet of oatmeal with water instead of milk. so another (100)

EXERCISE:
---------------------
30 minutes of straight speed jump rope
30 minutes of hard stationary bike
10 minutes of hard calisthenics
5 minutes stretching

GOALS:
-------------
height 5'2.5"
current weight 120
highest weight 205
goal weight 112 by April 4th 2006

:)
 
You need to eat more. If the (#) is the calories, then that means you ate less than 300 calories so far. You need to eat at least 1500 a day. You have to eat to lose weight, no way around it. If you continue your current trend, it will severely hinder your progress.
 
Wow! I'm amazed you have enough energy to type!!

The good news is that you get to eat A LOT more food and still lose weight! :)
 
Actually,
this may come as a SHOCK ( lol ) but I am stuck in a state of mind that really sucks!
I have been battling with anorexia for about a year now.
I went from 150 lbs in August of last year and went to 112 at the first of January.
Then I decided I was killing myself so I wanted to recover.
Then came the comments from everyone
they all said you look so much "better" and to me that immediately meant, I look like I've gained weight. My clothes started to fit differently and I freaked out and relapsed. Now I just can't get past it and I'm scared at what the rest of my life is going to be like with the preoccupation with image all the time. Also it has alot to do with how I treat the ones I love...I am mean when I feel horrible about myself (when I eat a meal or feel full or am thinking about food or have gained any weight whatsoever)

I am nice to everyone when I numb myself away from food and treat it as non-existent...

So here is what I had today:

FOOD: CALORIES:
-------- -------------
breakfast was 2 whole wheat biscuits ( the teeny ones) 60
60
oatmeal 100
small apple 86
piece of whole wheat toast sugar free 40

-------------------------------------------

EXERCISE:
---------------------
lunch break --- walk for an hour
after work------gym elliptical for 30 minutes
weight lifting 15 minutes all leg exercises
treadmill 15 minutes
sauna

home----------- jump rope fast for 15 minutes
stretch 5 mins.


I am hoping to have lost at least 2 pounds by this Saturday.
Already lost 4 pounds since last week.
did 200 crunches ,40 pushups , 60 squats , 120 leg lifts , 200 donkey kicks and side lifts on all fours(whatever you call that! )
lol
and my pants are loose on me today! So happy!
 
Don't take offense to this but you need to start going to a psychologist if you can afford it. If not, I know some great books about eating disorders that may help you out. Anorexia is serious and besides that it will ultimately KILL you it's affecting your relationships with people close to you. I have posted this before but I was bulimic for about 8 years and I have finally beat it. I didn't do it on my own though...my husband helped and I also went to a psychologist once a week. I also read a bunch of books. I initially gained weight because I messed with my metabolism so much but it eventually got back to normal.

Please go get some help and get healthy! Besides severely restricting your eating you're also over-exercising. I'm worried about you! :(

~teresa
 
First off, congrats on overcoming anorexia. That is not an easy thing to acheive by any means.

I will have to agree with the others above. You really need to add a few more meals into your diet. This will not hurt your progress in any way shape or form. It will actually give you better results even faster.

I would re-asses your diet.
 
Quite frankly, I can't figure out why you're "Laughing-Out-Loud". There's nothing comical about what you're doing to your body. The honest to god truth is that you will not find it so funny when you first hear a doctor mention anemia, or heart palpitations. You won't think it's funny when your body starts to ache and you can't sleep at night. You surely will not be laughing when you start seeing fine hair growing all over your body, and the hair on your head gets so thin and wiry it looks like a bad weave.

Another not so funny reality, untreated anorexia gives you 5 in 20 shot at living a very short life.

NOW WAKE UP AND GET SOME HELP!!!!!!!!!!

It's not easy, but it can be done. Do it before you permanantly destroy your body.
 
I would like some help.
and no I cannot afford to go for treatment right now.
I guess I'm asking for help from you guys. Like if I should eat more...then more of WHAT ?
and how much is more???
 
okay,
for lunch I had a bartlet pear and .3 cup of fat free cottage cheese
(83)
(42)
so far I've had 445 calories today...

how do yall eat like you do and not feel horrible about it???
its like one of your meals is as much as I have in a whole day :(
Tonight I am going to have a filet of tilapia baked
I think its like 100 calories
and I will have some fresh cooked green beans probably like a cup and a cup of salad with FF dressing on it....
I'll see if I can eat that without freaking out
 
Jaymie,

If you feel that bad about eating then I really think you need to seek professional help. Judging from your last post you only average over 500 calories a day. How do you have the energy to function?

Do you really want to eat more? Because that's what all of us are telling you to do but will you listen? We're going to tell you to eat more, exercise less!

Eat 5-6 times a day. Include a complex carb and protein in every meal and snack.

For breakfast have a slice of ww toast, some fruit AND a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese! Or have oatmeal made w/ skim milk AND some egg whites!

For lunch have that salad WITH some grilled chicken AND a whole wheat pita!

For dinner have that fish WITH a serving of brown rice AND veggies!

For snacks you can have fruit, cheese, yogurt, whole wheat crackers, nutrition bars, protein shakes, tuna, peanut butter (not all of this at once, lol)! Do whatever you'd like, just have a protein and a carb!

Drink lots of water too!

Can you do this? :confused: Are you ready to change?

We're all here to help but only you have the power to change. Stop what you're doing, don't do that to yourself. Live a life that's healthy - you'll be much happier :)
 
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Also i know this might scare you away from wanting to eat more, but if you really do take the advice i don't want you turning away because this comes about. You will gain weight. Yeah. You have been starving yourself and when you start to eat right at first you will put on a few pounds because your body is so used to not having food it is going to take what it gets and keep it. However if you eat right and excersise well it will also come right back off very quickly, so don't freak out. You are going to think "great i listen to them, i eat right and more and now i am fatter" Its not like that, its just a short period of time shock to the system for your body that will even out.

You also have to trust the people here, alot are professionals in their fields, you must believe that no one here will tell you to do something that isn't good for you. The ultimate goal for everyone here is to be in better shape, low body fat, and better energy and overall well being. Those aren't too bad of goals eh? See we all want the same thing, you just have more of a negative spin on it, you need to turn that around into a positive. You want to obsess over something, then obsess over being healthy. Really get into it, get some books, look around these forums, look at some before and after pictures, get excited about how great your body will look and how much energy you will have. You need to beat it into your head what a healthy body looks like, and why you would want it. You need to take that obsessive thought about the food you have to a different area. At the end of the day you need to not say "oh god i ate to much"... you need to say "oh god did i eat enough cause i want to make sure my body is happy and getting what it needs".

Good luck, and believe in your beauty and the potential for great health and happiness.
 
Jaymie, I worked with Mental Health for 12 years, there are many, many centers nationwide that have FREE counseling with wonderful therapists. I don't know where you are from, but call your local crisis hotline number and find out where you can have some help for free. The crisis hotlines have all the local information on mental health treatments in the area. With your situation you need emotional and physical recovery and they can help. If you need help finding your local crisis hotline, either post on here where you are from or PM me and I will get it for you. Your life is the most beautiful gift you'll ever have and our time is short, enjoy it while we have it!!!
 
I just have one question..
If I am supposed to be in the ideal weight range for my heighth "5foot 2.5 inches.. then why the heck does everything say my ideal weight is like 109 to 125 ir something?
I AM in the healthy weight range.
I am at 117 now.
But last night I actually had a 6 inch sub from Subway with mostly vegetables on it but I did eat it . That was instead of the fish fillet so that huge thing probably had about like 500 calories in it or something, :(
I had two pieces of toast this morning WW toast (80 calories for both pieces)
and two tablespoons of FF cream cheese ! ( 60 calories )
so I had um.....140 calories so far I guess thats good right??
and for a snack I am going to have FF cottage cheese ( 90 cals )
every 3 hours like you guys said!

THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH !!!!!!!!!! :)
I feel very positive about this. I know my body isn't healthy last night I had the most horrid stomach cramps and my uh....I know this is gross but....my urine was almost brown or slightly reddish ??? it scared me you guys/....

I don't want to laugh about it in denial anymore..
I really REALLY want to get healthy and I am taking in all of your advice please don't give up one me!!
I want to do what you are telling me!

Thank you!
 
JaymieB said:
I just have one question..
If I am supposed to be in the ideal weight range for my heighth "5foot 2.5 inches.. then why the heck does everything say my ideal weight is like 109 to 125 ir something?
I AM in the healthy weight range.
I am at 117 now.
But last night I actually had a 6 inch sub from Subway with mostly vegetables on it but I did eat it . That was instead of the fish fillet so that huge thing probably had about like 500 calories in it or something, :(
I had two pieces of toast this morning WW toast (80 calories for both pieces)
and two tablespoons of FF cream cheese ! ( 60 calories )
so I had um.....140 calories so far I guess thats good right??
and for a snack I am going to have FF cottage cheese ( 90 cals )
every 3 hours like you guys said!

THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH !!!!!!!!!! :)
I feel very positive about this. I know my body isn't healthy last night I had the most horrid stomach cramps and my uh....I know this is gross but....my urine was almost brown or slightly reddish ??? it scared me you guys/....

I don't want to laugh about it in denial anymore..
I really REALLY want to get healthy and I am taking in all of your advice please don't give up one me!!
I want to do what you are telling me!

Thank you!
Click to expand...


Hon, I'm so happy that you want to eat and be healthy!!! I'm so proud of you :) You did good for your breakfast and snack, I would love to see you eat more but that is a great start! Have some fruit with that cottage cheese ;) And eating that sub last night from Subway was a very good move so don't stress out about it. As far as the cramps and stuff go you should probably get that checked out.

So yes, continue to eat every 3 hours to fuel your body and also to get your metabolism back in order. Remember you need food! Don't punish your body by starving yourself. You're doing way more harm than good, eventually you could end up killing yourself! It's not worth it. Be happy :) What you will gain from eating right is lots of energy and good health.

And you're at a great weight, 117 was the lowest I have ever been and I thought I looked great. So learn to love yourself.

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! EAT EAT EAT!!!!! :D
 
A six inch veggie delight (no cheese or dressing) is only about 230 calories. See the link below:



There are some really accurate free calories counters online and also most restaurants (fast food and dine out) have online nutrition info. If you can't get it online, ask the server before you order. I've ate out at the Olive Garden and Ruby Tuesdays and stayed well within my calories range for one meal. A tip I use is to order healthy (most restaurants have healthy heart or calorie conscience selections) and cut each course in half when it's served to save part for a meal later or the next day.
 
Thanks ShanesMommy!

Yes I do feel a little better today...I guess kinda somewhat...
But am very afraid of gaining weight and if I'm doing the right thing here..

I feel tired though. Maybe it was the toast ?? carbs??? idk.

I did scare myself I lost 7 pounds in 3 days . Which I know included muscle and water weight and food weight etc. i am NOT bragging at all. I was looking at myself thinking "how did I end up like this?"
I was a soccer star for 7 years and never even thought about the rims and rams of food. I just ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was full. There was no guilt or shame in eating.

Now I don't know when I'm really hungry or if its all in my head. I get a compliment that I look good and immediately want to defy them by being horribly thin instead of just good. I am selfish, and I am tired of being this way. I want this out of my head. I WANT TO BE "NORMAL" AGAIN ! But if I do that I don't want to be like I WAS when I was fat and thought I was looking good or something.
I don't know.
I am just rambling about nothing I'm sorry!

okay so here's my plan for the rest of the day:
---------------------------------------------

FOOD:
-------
breakfast--->2 slices WW toast --->80
------------> 2tbs FF cream cheese>60
snack------> FF cottage cheese---> 90
lunch------->half sandwich/ bread-->40
FF cheese------------>30
98% FF turkey 2 slices>70
mustard-------------->0
( should I try to eat the whole sandwich???????????????)
or is that too much?????????

snack------->FF cottage cheese---->90

okay that's 460 calories already...
dinner-------> fish fillet tilapia------->120
green beans---------->20 (?)
slice of FF cheese on fish>35
picante sauce--------->5
cup of skim milk -------------------->80

720 cals ! is that better??? Well, I am getting there if I can just take it slowly I think maybe I won't gain weight so bad....hopefull not at all..but I know that I will gain just a little but I hope its not 14 like it was last time I tried to recover..just wish everyone at work could keep their comments to themselves I already got told my hair looks like crap today since I got it cut and highlighted all the women are so jealous of me because I'm young and they're all just miserable people anyway that have no passion for life...ohwell,,, I'm glad its Friday,

if anyone reads this thank you for your time! And be assured that you will not be wasting your "breath" by giving me advice or pointing something out that I'm missing. I am working on it seriously I am. I want to get healthy.
 
Maybe you should think about throwing away your scale. At least until you have a healthier food mentality?
 
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