Janvier's Weight loss Diary

Thank you all for your very kind words and support.

Cowboy- I'm not sure if the switch from shovelling sweets down our throats to not eating anything when you're depressed is a good thing- I guess it has its good side being that when I would go on a sweets binge due to being sad then I was always 10 times more sad as soon as the food was gone because I couldn't believe I would do that to myself. Don't worry I'm not reaching for any donuts! Thank you for your advice.

TikTak- Thank you for the support! I started reading your diary, I'm going to stop by.

Justina- Thank you very much! I'm trying hard to to keep my chin up. Thank you for the kind words, support and hug- I needed it! I'm going to stop by your diary.

Tally- Thank you Tally, I think my body is just so hurt appetite is really getting affected, I've never had this happen before- the appetite loss that it. I'm so happy you have the BL another chance! I agree with you that it could be easy to sprial back when you get home but I think in most weighloss, once you reach your goals and you get into maintaining you're weight bounces around trying to find a happy medium with eating and excercising, that's what happened to me, but as long as you always get up and keep trying you will make it.


So yesterday wasn't different from the rest of the week, I have very little energy which is probably a combination of lack of sleep, too few calories and just being sad. I managed to force myself to eat an orange, yogurt and a mango during the day and a bowl of cream of wheat for dinner (100 cals) and 4 strawberries for desert and I felt stuffed :ack2:! I went to bed around 10pm and tossed and turned all night long- this week is :icon_bs:- I decided to get on the scale and I've lost 6 pounds since Sunday morning! Not good, this isn't the way I wanted to lose 6 pounds. I slept in today until 9:30am- also not good because I start work at 9am lol, but my boss is away. I was hoping the extra rest would of woken up my appetite but no luck, I did make another bowl of cream of wheat because I was feeling a little dizzy and managed to eat 3/4 of it. Yesterday being on here and reading some diarys made me think that I just need to throw myself back into eating well and working out to take my mind off of all of this, so I think by Saturday I need to just to put on my workout clothes and push myself to not just keep sitting around sulking. Thank you all again for the support. :waving:
 
Janvier said:
Thank you all for your very kind words and support.

Cowboy- I'm not sure if the switch from shovelling sweets down our throats to not eating anything when you're depressed is a good thing- I guess it has its good side being that when I would go on a sweets binge due to being sad then I was always 10 times more sad as soon as the food was gone because I couldn't believe I would do that to myself. Don't worry I'm not reaching for any donuts! Thank you for your advice.

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I know what you mean. I just meant if we are going through such a bad stage in our life then I would rather not eat than eat something like a chocolate cake. You are right, eating like that just makes it worse. Not only do you have the original feelings but now you have compounded it by the feeling of a chocolate cake in your stomach and the guilt. Oh the guilt!! I would rather not have that. It is a difficult time for you right now but things will get better. They always do. Take the time to pamper yourself. Go out with friends. Set some new goals. You can get through this!!
 
Good job on picking yourself up Janvier! I definitely agree with cowboy48 on pampering yourself! Go get your hair done or something just to make you feel better! Personally for breakups I would have to escape with my friends! We talked about it for a while and then we had to change the subject to something better! Someone always has a spicy to tell lol

Also why doesn't the girl on BL just leave? Is it cause her dad doesn't want her to go? I was a bit confused by that.

Feel better Janvier :)
 
Hey lovely!!!
I trully hope your appetite comes back!! I know it takes time. it always does but it will only get better! :grouphug:
Silver lining - the 6 lbs - i know its not the way you wanted to go out about it - but you can keep it - a tiny bit of positive!!
Ihope you feel better soon :grouphug:
 
Cowboy- I agree with you for sure with the not eating at all compared to eating cake and having the guilt for eating the cake, that's usually me in a nut shell- bad day, cake and guilt lol. Thank you for the encouragement! I plan on taking your advice this weekend, a little pampering and getting out out of pajamas and bed. I'm going to work on my new goals as well, I have a trip to Texas in June that I want to be looking good for so I need to make some plans on how I'm going to make that happen.


Tally- Thanks Tally! I will take your advice for sure, I'm tired of looking live I've been crying and tired of not caring what I look like when I leave the house because the truth is I look terrible! I need to try because when you feel like you look good you feel good, so I'm going to work on that this weekend, i've been dying for a manicure so why not get one? I already told my best friend we need to go out tomorrow to get me out of my sulky state.

I know! She should of just left, she only stayed for her dad but it was selfish of her to ask her team to not try as hard that week so they wouldn't do well so that she could get sent home, very selfish, she should of just packed her stuff and left.

Thanks for the support hun!

Justina- Hello lovelier :blush5:!! Thank you for all of the hugs and support Justina, it was exactly what I needed! lol, you're right about the 6 lbs, they were a very stubborn 6 pounds and my pants are looser so I'm happy to have them gone, I don't by any means suggest not eating to lose weight but it is nice to have them gone and now I need to just get back into my routine of eating healthy and working out to keep them off and to keep going. Thanks again for the support hun! :grouphug:

So I made it to Friday and I thought it was never going to come! I had a rough night, I went to visit my mom and she was in a very woe is you mood and kind of just discussed everything that I already had in my head, all of the why did this happen to you, I thought it was going to work, I'm so disappointed- all of that was her talking :svengo:, so I just felt worse and cried my eyes out and went home and caved and called him and did the sh!t ever hit the fan :cuss:, that pretty much blew up in my face and we ended up arguing which sucked because the break-up was actually very sweet and emotional, no anger. We got off the phone and I emailed him to just saying that I never wanted it to come to this and I will give him space. He lives in Ireland and I live in Canada and he leaves in August so we agreed before the arguement that we would like to see eachother again before he leaves so I would really like us to stay on good terms and stay in eachothers lives so I expressed that and he emailed back saying he agrees. So I will give him his space and try to keep myself busy in the mean time and start focusing on myself and having fun again. I hate being depressed, who doesn't, so the sooner I get out of it the better. I still have no appetite but I'm feeling optimistic that it will be back soon and I will start working out again tomorrow morning. Thank you all for being so good to me this week, I really needed the support and I felt a lot better talking to you! Have a wonderful healthy weekend everyone!
 
I'm sorry that your mom made you feel worse :( Sometimes people just try to help in the wrong ways.

I'm glad you resolved it after the argument. It's so hard to be calm when you are upset. That is so grown up of you to still agree to see each other! I have to admit I have never done that lol

BL Talk - I didn't realize they actually tried not to lose the weight! Holy Moly I would have been pissed if she would have asked that! I mean the point would be for you to really try hard to lose all the weight! She should just leave.

Have a wonderful weekend Janvier! It's amazing how much better you feel by simply helping yourself appear happier! I wish you a wonderful manicure and all the other fun and cute things that you may find this weekend :)
 
Hello beautiful!!! Hope you are feeling better.
Its Saturday - you should plan a weekend with loads of activities to take your mind of things!! Surround yourself with friends. Watch Friends!! (LOL - when i broke up with my ex - i watched the whole series..back to back - all seasons) :D
Have you gone back to excerczie? If you did - sure you worked up some appetite!!!!
Hope you are having a fab weekend!!! :grouphug:
 
Tally- Thank you for your uplifting message Tally, lol you're right, it is grown up of us, I hate being a grown up sometimes, having to make grown up decisions and trying to always see the bigger picture, I would just rather always have him in my life then not. Thank you for the on going support hun!

*BL Talk- I know! Selfish wasn't it? For her and her team to be on the show to get to a healthy weight and then rather then leave she asks them to hold back on working out! Insane.

Justina- Hey doll! I am getting there slowly. I took your advice and hung out with my best friend on Saturday night and pushed myself to get out of the house. I love your idea of watching Friends, it reminds me of when Monica and Richard broke up. I ended up watching my sex and the city dvds all weekend long. I did force myself to do some sit ups and crunches on Saturday morning and forced myself onto the stepper this morning. I'm trying to jump back into working out this week, I think its what I need to get back to eating well and to feeling better. Thank you for checking up on me! :grouphug:


So this weekend certainly had its ups and downs, on friday I finally was hungry after work and had a big bowl of cereal for dinner. On Saturday morning I tried forcing myself to workout, all I had the energy for was push ups and crunches but I thought it was better then nothing at all. On Saturday night my friend and I went out for drinks and appetizers and boy did I overdue it on both, everything we had was full of carbs- cheese garlic bread, mac and cheese and mashed potatos- then we went dancing after that for a bit. It felt good to get out but I woke up with a huge stomach ache probably from not eating much all week to binge eating a ton of carbs and felt super dehydrated and bloated. I did a whole lot of nothing all day Sunday, laid around watching tv and did a some laundry and cleaning- I got pretty sad right before bed and ended up calling my friend to vent a bit. I set my alarm at 6:30 am this morning and forced myself out of bed to do 35 minutes on the stepper. I thought I would feel great once I woked out but I'm exhausted, I have no energy but I just have to keep going, keep forcing myself until I feel better. I do have a bit more of an appetite today so hopefully it gives me the energy I need to workout again after work. Thank you all for your support last week, I couldn't of made it to this week without you all! :grouphug:

Here's what today looks like:

Workout 6:30am- 35 mins on the stepper
B- 1 packet cream of wheat and ff yogurt
S- orange
L- chicken broth and sauteed cabbage
S- mini pretzels dipped in laughing cow cheese and orange
D- undecided
Workout- tredmill

I'm happy that I am back to listing my food and workouts for the day! Have a wonderful healthy Monday everyone!
 
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Hi Janvier,

Sounds like you are slowly making your way back- that is good. It is always hard when something bad happens to us. It affects your life energy. You will get through this. Don't worry about the carbs- you will get back on track again. It is funny how when we used to eat all that stuff it didn't really affect anything. Now that we have eaten healthy stuff for a while- the minute we eat anything like that- it makes us sick-lol. I had a couple of McDonald's fries a couple of weeks ago - I think I could literally feel the grease go down my throat and into my stomach. I felt sick right away-lol. I won't do that again.

The best way to get rid of the sadness is to let yourself feel it. You know- face it- know that you are sad- cry or whatever and let it out. You will feel better afterwards. Eventually , you will feel sad less and then happiness will come back again- I promise!!

You will get through this. Look at how strong you are! Look at what you have accomplished!! Have a great Monday!!
 
Hey girlie!!
I am sooo happy you are getting better!!! :party:
Yeah - you might have not eaten the right food but hey, you ate!! Good job girl!!
& you even worked out when you didnt really have the energy!wow - that takes some discipline!! i ll give you extra brownie points for that :D
Sex n the city dvds- they are perfect when you need some cheering up - i have them along with my friends dvds!!

BIG HUG!!! & remember it ALWAYS gonna get better!!!! :grouphug:
 
Besides that stomach your weekend sounded like a nice release of tension! I love mashed potatoes :drool5: Everything on your list sounded super delicious lol so I hope you feel a bit better about things :) I know its not likely to go away right away but its nice to see you getting into routine again!

I hope you have a great healthy monday too :)
 
Cowboy- Thank you for your on going support. I am really looking forward to getting back on track and putting all of my energy into that. I love working out and eating right just makes me feel so good so i know it will be a great thing to focus on right now. You're so right that bad food just makes you sick after not eating it for so long, I love that though, it's a lot less appealing when you think of it that way and it clearly makes you feel sick for a reason. Thank you for your uplifting words!

Justina- Thank you so much for your support and hugs, they have been really lifting my spirits.

Tally- Thank you for your support hun!


This has been a rough week for me, it has been quite the rollercoster of emotions for me and I fell off the wagon pretty hard foodwise this week and I just didn't want to come on here and be depressing about it :nopity:

I have had very little sleep this week and because of it I haven't had the energy to workout and also I think it has caused me to get sick which is draining my energy even more.

I spent a lot of time with friends this week who have been encouraging me to put all of my energy and focus into my hobbies and that for me is working out so I decided that I just need to keep dragging myself out of bed and keep pushing my self non-stop to workout and to ignore cravings and to eat healthy because it's what makes me happy and seeing all of the things I can accomplish when I do eat well and work out just builds my confidence so I am really going to encourage myself to turn a new leaf next week and start focusing on myself and my workouts again. Thank you all for your support, It has been keeping me going.

I packed a healthy lunch today and my friend wants to take me (by that I mean drag me) out shopping after work, I know the mall is going to be temptation city so I told her I want to have dinner at home before I go so I can have a full stomach and clear mind to beable to resist giving into fatty mall food. Here is what my meal plan looks like:

B- 1 packet cream of wheat and ff yogurt with fresh strawberries and rasberries
S- pineapple chunks
L- chicken broth and mini pretzels dipped in laughing cow cheese
S- banana and cucumber slices
D- whole wheat nann bread (its a indian flat bread), scrambled egg whites and low fat bacon

Have a wonderful weekend everyone, I can't wait to start fresh and strong on Monday!
 
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Looks like a good meal plan there. Be sure to get a lot of rest and stay focused during the weekend and you'll be able to start next week on un upbeat note.

Have a nice weekend!
 
Janvier said:
This has been a rough week for me, it has been quite the rollercoster of emotions for me and I feel off the wagon pretty hard foodwise this week and I just didn't want to come on here and be depressing about it :nopity:

I have had very little sleep this week and because of it I haven't had the energy to workout and also I think it has caused me to get sick which is draining my energy even more.

I spent a lot of time with friends this week who have been encouraging me to put all of my energy and focus into my hobbies and that for me is working out so I decided that I just need to keep dragging myself out of bed and keep pushing my self non-stop to workout and to ignore cravings and to eat healthy because it's what makes me happy and seeing all of the things I can accomplish when I do eat well and work out just builds my confidence so I am really going to encourage myself to turn a new leaf next week and start focusing on myself and my workouts again. Thank you all for your support, It has been keeping me going.

I packed a healthy lunch today and my friend wants to take me (by that I mean drag me) out shopping after work, I know the mall is going to be temptation city so I told her I want to have dinner at home before I go so I can have a full stomach and clear mind to beable to resist giving into fatty mall food. Here is what my meal plan looks like:

B- 1 packet cream of wheat and ff yogurt with fresh strawberries and rasberries
S- pineapple chunks
L- chicken broth and mini pretzels dipped in laughing cow cheese
S- banana and cucumber slices
D- whole wheat nann bread (its a indian flat bread), scrambled egg whites and low fat bacon

Have a wonderful weekend everyone, I can't wait to start fresh and strong on Monday!
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Sounds like you are doing things that will make Janvier happy. Good for you!! Use this time to focus on YOU and what YOU want to do. Hanging with friends is a good start- surrounding yourself with people that love you- is a good thing especially if they understand about the weight loss goals you have. You can get through this. Now go out and have some fun- and that is an order-LOL!!!
 
Hey Janvier! Good to see you posting while I was gone but sorry to hear things haven't been going so great. That guy doesn't know what he's missing and you could do so much better!! So much better!!! I'm glad to see you got your appetite back a bit and the energy for exercise will come. Give it some time and just make sure your giving your body the healthy food it needs. Lots of water too. I'm sorry your mom didn't offer more understanding words. Mom's have a tendancy to do that sometimes - I'm sure she meant good.
I hope you have a great relaxing weekend and spend a lot of time with your friends or reflecting on your dreams and desires. It's all about you so you just need to work on making yourself as happy as can be.
It's good to be back - thanks for the nice comments in my diary. See you Monday - take care!
 
Don't worry about getting on here and being depressing! Silly its your diary so put whatever you feel like putting in it :) Plus I think people can write to you their support. I am super happy your friends have banded all together to bring you back to a happy place and I hope you buy some super awesome things while shopping today!

My family always eats when we go to the mall or really anywhere and I never thought that was strange until I met my fiance. We eat before we go somewhere which I think is nice. But I loved eating chinese food anytime we went to the mall lol

Have a fabulous weekend!
 
Cowboy- Thank you for ordering me around Cowboy lol :blush5:, I needed it. Thank you for your wonderful advice, I took it and had some fun this weekend and spoke to my best friend about getting myself back into the swing of my healthy eating and working out so that she can help encourage me to make good choices when we do go out and have fun. I'm trying my very best to focus on myself this week. I appreciate all of your great advice!

Lisa- It's so good to have you back! Thank you for your very kind words, advice and support. You are such a huge motivation for me and I'm trying my best this week to really channel my energy into being healthy and feeling good because I think being healthy always makes me feel good about myself. I'm taking your advice and putting good food and lots of water in my body this week to help me regain my energy to workout and to keep up with you. Thank you again for always supporting me, it means a lot!

Tally- Thanks for convincing me to keep posting Tally. I got a super cute dress to wear out over the weekend, blue and white- super nautical and LOTS of leg! Its a good thing I'm short otherwise the booty would of been outside for sure lol :svengo:- Plus I wore some thick black stockings with it just in case.

My family was the same way, going to the mall meant getting greasy fatty food for sure, and like you my favorite was always chinese- yum :drool5:- But I was good, I ate prior and was a little hungry when I got there but got a small cup of fat free frozen yogurt!


My weekend was okay. I didn't do anything much on Friday after work, I went to a thrift store looking for an antique picture frame and then went home and laid on the couch watching sex and the city all night. I did end up making some nachos and melted cheese with salsa but they were the healthy baked version of nachos and where only about 150 calories for about 30 chips and I used low fat cheese. On Saturday I ate well all day, went out with my friend for drinks that night and ended up ordering a big plate of nachos covered in cheese, guacamole and sour cream- I had way too much of it and probably far too much to drink. We went dancing after that for about 2 hours and when we left my friend wanted fries that we ended up sharing. I woke up on Sunday still feeling stuffed from the night before. I didn't do a whole lot, did a bit of cleaning but mostly laid on the couch all day watching tv and reading fitness magazines. I ate well all day long and decided to peel myself off the couch and did 30 minutes on my stepper, 20 push ups, a ton of crunches and some arm excercises with my 8lb dumbells. This morning I really had to force myself out of bed, my energy has never ever been this low and I feel like walking to the bathroom is a chore. But I did force myself out of bed and did 25 minutes on the stepper (which felt like climbing a mountin this morning) and did my push ups, crunches and arm excercises. I packed a healthy lunch today but I still feel so worn out and exhausted- the lack of energy is getting annoying and I'm not sure what I can do to increase it. Although I had a great time on Saturday I spent most of my day yesterday feeling down, I know it takes time but being sad is exhausting. My plan for myself is to continue to push myself dispite the lack of energy and workout in the mornings and when I get home from work. I want to go back to eating healthy and reading my fitness magazines for motivation as well as continuing to post on here to stay accountable and to keep the motivation going. Thank you all for keeping me going, I hope you all had a great weekend and I wish you all a happy healthy Monday!

B- 1 packet cream of wheat and ff yogurt
S- 1 1/2 cups of fresh strawberries/blueberries & rasberries and 1/2 cup of dry cheerios
L- Campbells Hearty Noodles hot & sour soup (190 cals) and 1 cup of sauteed cabbage
S- 6 mini pretzels dipped in laughing cow cheese and a mango
D- undecided
Workout- treadmill or hip hop abs or both
 
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Your welcome, Janvier. That is what we are here for- support!! Nachos are my downfall too- I could eat them at every meal-lol. The problem with them is once I start- I can't stop until they are gone. Good job on getting back with the exercise though. Being sad definitely affects your energy level. Best thing to do is what you are doing- resting. Your mood will improve along with your energy level. Then you can kick up your exercise again. Keep fighting the fight!!
 
Hey Janvier,

Happy Monday! Cheers to a great week ahead. That's pretty awesome of you getting on your stepper even though you don't feel like you have any energy!! I set my alarm to do the treadmill this morning but I lied in bed till 2am and at that time changed my alarm because I knew I wasn't going to get up at 6. Not smoking weed before bed has been pretty difficult lately because I was so used to smoking it and then passing out right away - it's a bit of a struggle now but I'm sure I will get used to it soon. I packed my gym bag to go after work and there will be no excuses not to go.
I had some nachos too this weekend - lots like we were craving the same thing. Once we get a good week in it will be easier on the weekend - no ruining hard work this time!
Glad you had a good time out with your friend - don't feel bad for it because it was needed. Lots of water today!
 
You are doing so good Janvier! You are still exercising and keeping a hopeful attitude! I really love it!

Also the dress sounds super duper cute and I am sure you looked hot and sexy in it! Dancing for 2 hours burned a ton of energy! Plus you sound like you had such a fun time!! I hope you had a healthy wonderful monday too :)
 
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