Janvier's Weight loss Diary

Janvier, Iam sooo familiar with this sort of thing. I have always been tall and slender but I come from a family where all and I mean all the women are full figured (over weight or obesed). They constantly teased me about my size and my weight. I have also always been very physically active so they would always say I had issues because I like to work out. When in fact all my life I watched my mother diet or complain about her weight. Now that I am over weight they say things like " You finally have a women's body. You won't loss weight, you've had 3 kids. There's nothing wrong with the size you are." We all deserve to have the bodies that we want to have as long as we are going about the right way to achieve them. You deserve to be happy with your self. After my 2nd child my Dr. advised me that i may have poor self image issues but he also told me tht, that's actually normal. He said like 7 out 10 women have poor body image. We go through so much in our life time and our body changes so much. I my self some times wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and dont know who's looking back. You are transforming and there's nothing wrong with that. You are beautiful now and you will be beautiful at 120-115lbs also. Your doing a great job, keep up the good work!
 
So today went fairly well...I woke up at 6am to go to my gym and realized I forgot my workout shoes at my parents house, so I was irratated that I couldn't workout- but I was exhausted from my workout last night so I was happy to sleep for an extra hour this morning. I did well with my meals, and I plan on going home after work to really make up for the workout I missed this morning and to remember my shoes for tomorrow morning's workout. Here is what today looked like:

Breakfast:

2 Low fat blueberry waffles (160 cals for 2) and 6 tbsp of egg whites

Snack:

silhouette yogurt and all bran buds

Lunch:

Uncle bens bistro express

Snack:

apple and water

Dinner:

Lean cusine and cooked cabbage
 
It bugs me when things don't go as planned too. Just gets me in a funky mood - I think I'm getting better at getting over it but before I would get all sour and not smile and be really stubborn about it and not get in a better mood for a long time but I find with this new lifestyle I am getting better at accepting something and moving past it - good job with getting the workout in after work! Hope you remembered your shoes this morning! Have a great Thursday! :seeya:
 
I know what you mean Lisa, if it wasn't for the extra hour sleep I probably would of been pretty grumpy. But I did manage to remember my shoes yesterday, woke up on time and just wasn't in the mood, nor did I have the energy to go workout yesterday morning and the same thing happened this morning...I made a doctor's appointment for monday because I have been SO tired lately, I have no energy and actually I have been a little dizzy too...I think it might be that my blood sugar is low because I have increased my protein intake and it didn't help so it must be sugar. But I did work out last night, which I really had to talk myself into because i just didn't have the energy, I was pacing around for an hour in my workout clothes trying to decide if I wanted to actually workout or not...I finally convinced myself to do atleast 10 minutes on the elyptical...I ended up doing 25 minutes then called it quits- I was sweating buckets though. When I woke up this morning I told myself if I lost anything I will workout...and if not i'm going back to bed...I weighed and I lost nothing for the week :banghead: so I went back to bed...I needed the little boost of losing something...anything to give me motivation I needed to workout but it didn't happen, I'm not beating myself up though, staying the same is better then gaining. But I have a secretary's lunch party in 20 minutes and I'm hoping I control myself better then I did at the christmas party, hopefully they have salad, we'll see but I'll update when I come back. I hope you are all having a nice Friday!
 
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That's funny because I would have said you should have done the opposite - go to the gym if you aren't down but I do the same thing - the loss helps motivates me and if not then I would have rather slept too. That's no good about not feeling well - take it easy and don't over do it. Make sure you get lots of water - I found this week with working out more I would start to get a headache and then realized it was because I hadn't drank anything for like two hours. Let us know how it goes with the Doc and hopefully it's nothing serious! Have a great weekend and take care - be good and stay strong! :seeya:
 
chubbygirl said:
That's funny because I would have said you should have done the opposite - go to the gym if you aren't down
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Yeah I agree that I should of done the opposite, I'm a little sad that I didn't go now...But it was pure fustration that took me back to bed. I now only have 2 weeks to lose 3 pounds to get to my christmas goal and its fustrating that I started this week with that same goal and got nowhere....oh well. I have to keep trying. My weekend goal is to actually workout this weekend and keep my snacking to a minimum, then really give it my all next week all week. 3 pounds its pretty realistic for 2 weeks so I just have to keep doing my best. I did well at my secretary's lunch, I didn't take any rice or pasta, I had a small piece of chicken, a small piece of veil, 2 mini roaster potatos, 2 pieces of sweet potatos and a small salad. For desert they had two giant christmas cakes, one chocolate and one vanilla, I didn't take any of either cake, I had one piece of pineapple, one piece of honey dew and one piece of cantalope. I am pretty pleased with how I did. I'm trying not to be down today about how my week went, because I should just move foward from here but I can't help but be disappointed....I'm going to go visit family in Texas in 2 weeks for 2 weeks and its been a year since they have seen me and I think thats why I am really feeling the pressure. Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.
 
Hey Janvier,
How'd the weekend go? Get the workouts in? Good job at the party at work - I wouldn't have done as good. I ate pretty bad this weekend and pretty much had a tummy ache the whole weekend because of it :banghead: One of these times I am going to learn my lesson. I don't want to feel sick over the holidays so I think that will help me ease off or back away from the buffet lines!
It's hard to not get frustrated when the scale doesn't budge but look how far you have come and look how many pounds you already took off - have you still been doing measurements? I'm going to take some again Friday because I don't think I will be down again this week, mostly from the weekend so I'm hoping to be down a half an inch or something to keep me going.
I'm sure your family in Texas will be blown away whether you lose those last 3 pounds or not - just showering up a stronger girl will get their attention! Be confident because you deserve it and have come so far! Stay strong this week! Chat soon.
 
chubbygirl said:
It's hard to not get frustrated when the scale doesn't budge but look how far you have come and look how many pounds you already took off - have you still been doing measurements? I'm going to take some again Friday because I don't think I will be down again this week, mostly from the weekend so I'm hoping to be down a half an inch or something to keep me going.
I'm sure your family in Texas will be blown away whether you lose those last 3 pounds or not - just showering up a stronger girl will get their attention! Be confident because you deserve it and have come so far! Stay strong this week! Chat soon.
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Thanks for your constant support Lisa, You always lift my spirits and make so much sense of things. You are so right that my family will be completlely blown away and will have no idea if I lost that last 3 pounds to reach my christmas goal, all they are going to see is a brand new me, 66 lbs lighter and I want to show up at the airport in a nice outfit that shows off my accomplishments, looking good and feeling good with a new found confidence. I haven't taken any measurements since the last ones I posted so I think I will take some tonight and see if there has been any changes. Thanks again for always putting things in perspective.
 
My weekend was okay, My family and I had christmas dinner on Saturday since my mom and I will be in Texas for christmas and my dad and Sister will be staying home, But I cooked and made us a healthy dinner that was delicious and really cut back on the fatty things we usually have. I made Half of a turkey since it was just four of us, and I didn't buy the ones that are usually soaked in better like I normally would, I did one box of stuffing with zero calorie and zero fat butter, sauteed cabbage, homemade baked sweet potato fries instead of the sweet potato pie I usually make with brown sugar, butter and marshmellows and a size of cranberry sauce. It was soooo good and they loved it all dispite the healthy changes. We usually have a lot more food like mashed potatos and pasta of somekind, rice casarole...so it was nice that they tolerated the changes and really enjoyed it, nothing was left over lol. Sunday I didn't eat much, I was full from christmas dinner and did christmas shopping all day long, by the time I got home it was past midnight and I was beat so I didn't workout. I planned to get up in the morning and workout but was exhausted and slept in. I couldn't get up yesterday morning either, but I worked out yesterday evening, I had to really push myself to do it, between all of the christmas shopping and getting ready for my trip (I'm leaving next wednesday) I am exhausted. But I did 31 minutes on the elyptical- I was dying by the time I was finished, I was sweating buckets, but I burned 390 calories on it which was great then I went on the tredmill for 20 minutes on level 4, and ever 3 minutes I went to level 4.7 and ran for one minute, I have never done it before but I was suprised that I could even manage it, I will try it again tonight. My meal plans have been going well, here is what it looked like today:

Breakfast:

1 crumpet toasted with 1 tbsp apricot jam and 1/2 cheese and chives egg beaters- 2 cups of coffee with skim milk and splenda

Snack:

Banana and silhouette yogurt with all bran buds

Lunch:

Corned beef sandwhich (2 slices dempsters bodywise bread, 1 slice ff cheese, 5 slices low fat corned beef, mustard and ff mayo)

Snack:

Pretzels and coke zero

Dinner:

Lean cusine and steamed broccoli

Workout- same as yesterday and hopefully I will get up to go to the gym in my building in the monring.
 
You know it's funny how your family never really notices when you cook things healthier. I changed the way I cooked spaghetti cutting half the calories and the fat and they actually like it better. I hope you have a great time in Texas, I know you will. Have a great day!:seeya:
 
That is great mrskt20 that your famliy likes the healthier spagetti, it shows that food can still be great tasting when its healthy!

So its been a while since I have updated, all weekend I worked out every night which is huge for me, I can never convince myself to workout on the weekends, but the fact that I'm leaving for Texas tomorrow really got me working hard. I got down to 122 lbs from this weekend's workouts (down one pound) I think I would of had a little more progress if i didn't have the few snacks I had, but i'm still happy. I didn't get to my christmas goal of 120 lbs but christmas isn't here yet so I hope to get a good long "last chance workout" like they call it on the Biggest Loser, in tonight after I finish packing. I am so nervous and excited to see my family, I think the look on their faces will be priceless, they will be seeing me 67 lbs lighter then they did last christmas! My sister helped me pick out a cute outfit to wear tomorrow that really shows off all of my hard work. Packing my suitcase last night was funny because my clothes only took up a quarter of the suitcase because I hardly have anything that fits me and my boss gave me quite the christmas bonus so I will be doing some shopping! Last year in Texas I only found ONE pair of pants to fit me...in all of Houston one pair and they were a size 14, now I will be going out and looking for a size 2!!! How surreal is that??? After such a hard year i truley do have a lot to be thankful for! I have come such a long way this year and I am looking forward to going into 2010 a new me, and I am looking forward to getting to my final goal of 115 and maintaining my healthy new weight and healthy new lifestyle for the rest of my life. I am so greatful that I found this site, I have lost 7 lbs with the help and motivation and motivational stories from everyone here since I joined in October and I can't wait to keep up the weightloss with all of you in the new year! Have an amazing holiday everyone and keep up the wonderful work!
 
Hey Janvier how's it going? hope your visit with the fam is going well - yes we expect you to come back and say you ate like a pig because we all did and now it's time to get back to it! That's so nice of your sister to help you pick out a cute outfit! I bet you knocked everyone's socks off! Your so dedicated having a last chance workout to make it to your goal! Even if you didn't you will in 2010! Looking forward to your return! Happy Holidays!
 
Finally back to my diary!

Thank you for your message Lisa, its so good to hear from you! I had a great holiday with my family, they totally embarassed me at the airport when they saw me walking towards them they started screaming like crazy people lol, I was embarassed but proud at the same time to cause such a reaction. For the first couple of days they were in complete shock, they kept looking at me saying that they couldn't believe it. My poor 86 year old grandmother had no idea who I was LOL, she kept calling me Courtney, mistaking me for my 15 year old cousin lol. So it was great. Your right Lisa, I definitly had days there where I ate like a pig, cheese cake here, chinese take out there- but I also managed to work out about 4 times while I was there which was great, and for the most part I did pretty well diet wise. I came home and faced the scale, I was terrified to even look but it wasn't so bad... 2 lbs gained and I'm ready to take it off and keep working hard and really get to my goal this year and continue my healthy lifestyle. Shopping was SO amazing this time around. Last year I found one pair of pants that fit which were size 14, they year I bought SIX pairs of jeans all size 2 or 3!!! I bought an xs jacket for the first time ever, all my tops were size small or x-small! what a difference a year can make! I had a blast shopping with my new body! I am very sad to be home, I feel that Texas is where my heart is, and I am always depressed when I come home, but I'm trying not to let it get the best of me and just get back into my routine of eating well and working out and make plans for going back in the summer hopefully for a week or 2. I will be having surgery on my ovaries at the beginning of February and I'm worried about how my weight will be affected, my doctor said I will not be allowed to workout for 6 weeks!!! I know I will be able to continue eating well, but I hate the thought of not being able to workout and hate the thought of gaining weight 10x more....so I think my plan is to work really hard from now until then to make up for the time i will be missing. well anyway, I can't wait to get updated with everyone, I'm happy that everyone is back, and we are going to kick butt this year!
 
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:waving: Hey nice to have you back and in such good spirits!! Your trip sounded awesome! What is holding you back from moving to Texas? Summer time will be here before we know it - something to look forward to is always nice. Sorry to hear about the upcoming surgery - I know you will get through it. Even if you gain 5 lbs you know how to get it off and will as soon as you can - don't let it stress you out. I love the xs clothes and size 2 and 3 pants - that is incredible! Totally inspiring! Good to have you back!
 
Okay so it has been a while since I updated....It is actually taking a lot for me to do it right now because I have not been doing good lately. I have been doing a lot of after dinner snacking and only worked out once for the week and it has definitly made a difference. I only gained 2 pounds during the holidays and was fine with that and actually pumped to start 2010 strong and take it off plus more and finally get to my goal weight and i was hoping to be at 118 by my birthday (from 124) which is the 31st of this month but instead with all of my snacking and my lack of working out i gained 4 more pounds since i came home and i am totally depressed about it. i can't believe that i went from 122, the lowest i have ever been since maybe the 7th grade and gained 6 pounds and right before my birthday. I know it may not sound that bad but i feel it in my clothes, all of my new pants that i bought over the holidays are snug! And the fact that i gained should of given me a reality check but instead after i went on the scale last night i let the disappointment of the gain get the best of me and binged all night on crap...any crap i could find really, popcorn, chocolate, chips, candy and way too much cereal. So when I woke up this morning i decided to cut the sh!t and get myself because in gear because i know i didnt work my ass off for a year and come this far and finally get some confidence to just fall off the wagon and let all of my hard work go to waste. So i though the best thing to do would be to update my diary and stop running from it because even when i do bad i should write it out so it puts things in perspective. Also I am having ovarian surgery on Feb. 11th and will not be able to workout for 6 weeks and that if freaking me out, i am so scared of gaining weight when i'm recovering and I really need to get my snacking under control before then because being bed ridden and not being able to workout and snacking constantly would be a horrible combination so i will work really hard to turn things around by then. And i have been trying to think of some easy excercises I can do that wont be too strenous while i'm recovering and I was thinking maybe the walking really slow on the tredmill daily should be manageable. I have managed to do well today, ate only good and healthy, didn;t over eat and drank lots of water. I am still having cravings for sweet things but i need to re-build my will power and just keep drinking my water. i need to come up with a new goal because i am close to my goal, futher then i was before but still close so i think i need to come up with a deadline to work towards to give me some motivation to keep pushing myself. I actually have my very first appointment with a dietitan on Tuesday and I am really looking forward to it...even though i am really hoping she doesn't make me go on the scale now that i'm 6 pounds up. but i am hoping she has some good ideas to stop over snacking and to start maintaing. i will update on how it goes.
 
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Hey Janvier! I'm glad your back. I know your upset because you gained a little but it's ok. You are still so close to your goal. You can turn things around and get back on track. I know you can. So I look to here great things from you. It's a new week! It's a new day!
 
Thanks for your message mrskt20, its always good to hear from you and get your much needed support, I wrote on your diary :).

So yesterday went well, I ate well all day and I worked out really hard last night, It felt really good to be working out again, I know that if I stay consistant this week that I will really stick to my routine, because I really do enjoy having a healthy lifestyle and when you get results on top of it its like icing on the cake. Here is what I did yesterday since I didn't have time to post it yesterday:

Breakfast:

Instant cream of wheat and 6 tbsps of egg whites

Snack:

Orange

Lunch:

Campbell's chunky chicken noodle soup

Snack:

Diet sparkling lemonade

Dinner:

steamed coliflower and lean cusine

Workout:

35 mins Hip Hop abs, 10 mins turbo jam and 17 mins elyptical on level 4


Today:

Breakfast:

instant cream of wheat and egg whites on an english muffin

Snack:

Apple and ff yogurt

Lunch:

Campbell's Chunky gumbo soup

Snack:

sugar free jello

Dinner:

Undecided

Workout:

probably same as last night

I am looking foward to getting myself back in gear with my routine, I hope I get a least a little bit of results by next weekend for my birthday, I think that I can if I stick with it and try my best and I know I can do that.
 
Today is going well so far. I really worked my butt off again last night. Did 35 mins of Hip Hop abs with weights, 21 minutes on the elyptical at level 5 (i was sweating buckets) and 26 minutes walking on the tredmil at level 3.8.

My meal plan is going well, heres what it looked like:

Breakfast:

Egg white omlette with a whole slice tomato on the side and low fat keylime pie whipped yogurt

Snack:

an orange and ff yogurt


Lunch:

Macaroni with ground beef and tomoto sauce (frozen meal) - SO yummy!

Snack:

sugar free jello- I was also craving a salad so I bought one at work and had it with my ff honey dijon dressing

Dinner:

sauteed cabbage stirfry and something by lean cusine.

Workout:

same as yesterday.

I am hoping to continue this week stong and see some results my best week!
 
So the last few days of last week and this weekend sucked! I did horrible, I have been doing great during the day, especially when I'm at work, probably because I bring my lunch and have no choice but to eat only what i brought, but after i have dinner, even though i'm stuffed i continue to stuff my face, i start craving anything and raid the fridge. Friday night was the worst by far, worst cheating since I started my whole journey, I had dinner, then I had a whole bag of dried pineapple slices, FOUR special K bars, 2 bags of dried apple slices...i was soooo full at this point because all of that was after dinner and i was still craving something so i oredered chinese food!!! What the hell??? I JUST finished dinner and millions of snacks- so it came and it always comes in huge portions, i only ordered general tao's chicken, but i ate half of the order (which was a huge amount) and put the rest in the garbage. I was SO full after that it physically hurt, I couldn't even sit up! I just went to bed because I was so furious and disapointed with myself. The saturday, i decided that I would make a come back with the rest of my weekend and eat well...so i eat really well all day...then that night it all went down hill, it started with 1 bowl of cereal and probably ended up with about 3 more. I have no idea what is going on with me, I have not done this bad or cheated this much ever. I was started to really think about why i am self-sabotaging when I am so close to my goal weight. I was thinking about the Biggest Loser when Jillian said to one of the contestants that things will never change until you deal with the reason you became fat and I think maybe that is my problem. Now that I am so close maybe I am wondering if i am worth it and wondering if i deserve to be happy. I think It has been a long emotional year being without my ex, it was officailly a year this month, and i had been feeling better and all of a sudden i think about him so much, and i have been holding on to pictures and letters and cards i guess to hold onto what i have left of him, and i think maybe i need to let the past go and move on with my future to beable to really move on with my weight goals. So last night I did better with food, i tried to have a lot of veggies to really fill me up with dinner and all i had after then was a 100 cal bag of popcorn, and i decided to throw away all of the letters and cards then i have been holding on to to help me move on. So this morning i did, i tossed them, and i decided i wouldn't read them because i didn't want a cry fest before work or at all, i wanted to feel relief from it hoping that it will help me move on and start focusing on myself again and finally get to my goal, and i am so close i can just taste it lol. Well this has been long, i will do my meal plan for the day later on.
 
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