So exactly how old are you, James? Because to hear Mal talk, it sounds like you're 18..lmao.
I'm 24
I loved your prerequisites for a woman. Cracked me up. And here I always thought my long legs/short waist was a problem...lmao. Just a question, do you tell your woman multiple times a day how gorgeous and sexy she is? Do you brag to your friends when she is in hearing distance of how great a cook she is? lol
I am a leg man, followed by a face/neck man. Breasts and Ass, I could really care less about. Hair pulled back in a ponytail with a little tank top, and some of those shorty shorts, and i get driven nuts. Prepare for the sex.
As far as telling the women I date how I feel about 'em, I am a very vocal person. They'll know exactly how amazing I think they are. As far as cooking, I am usually the chef. No woman I have dated ever really cooked for me more than once or twice. Normally, it is me doing the cooking, which I am fine with. I wouldn't mind sharing the cooking responsibilities, but I've just not really dated any women that enjoy cooking, I guess. (Also, the grill is mine. Not to be a sexist, but grilling the meat is a man's job, and I am the manliest man I know, and my grill is the best grill I know, so it is my responsibility to grill, and I'm awesome at it)
I've seen relationships in my friends where the fella comes home and sits down and has himself a beer while his girlfriend runs around and does his laundry / prepares meals for him / packs him a lunch for the next day... I wouldn't have thought that that sort of crap still exists, but I have multiple buddies that live every day in a relationship like that... None of those relationships seem healthy to me. The women I date always end up being smart / sassy, and if I ever asked them to do something of the like, I would like to think they'd tell me to kiss their ass. Now, I'm not talking about an occasional doing something just to be nice, or just because, I'm talking about the girlfriend / fiance / wife taking over those sorts of duties, and the man expecting them to get done.
Now, that being said, and in a completely dick move, I have also never been in a relationship where I wasn't the handyman for everything, and I LOVE it. I learned through my pop how to fix pretty much everything in a house, and when I've run into shit that I don't know how to fix, I've learned how (and then bought the corresponding expensive powertool that makes a lot of noise). I consider that my dominion. Socket isn't working? BAM, I got it. Something is leaking? BAM, I'm on it. We need new floors, or the deck needs new wood? BAM, I'm handling it. I cultivated a body and knowledgeset that will allow me to ensure that the mundane day-to-day projects that my friends and people I care about have, I am able to do.
Long post over a bunch of different random crap, but I'm tired, and it is the afternoon, so you're going to hear about it.
P.S. An easy way for a man to catch a quick beatdown is to come to my house and tell me how to grill, or to open the lid of my grill "just to check and see if the meat needs to be turned"... No... Mine...
But honestly, the way ND sucks balls this year, I think wearing their jersey would make your penis shrink, and your balls shrivel up. 
