JadeLynn's Weight Loss Diary

Today was a pretty good day. Since I didn't have to work, I could workout a little longer.
Ran 3 miles
Did a pretty tough upper and lower body toning DVD. I'm feeling it all ready.
20 minute Pilates ab DVD.

I did eat better as well. Had an apple chopped up in my oatmeal. Lunch was chili with a cucumber and tomato salad. Dinner half a burger (cut it in half and made sure to eat only that) with mashed potatoes instead of fries.

So I am trying to get in more fruit and vegetables. Last night I did have the Greek Salad.

I do feel a bit better. So we will see if eating better continues to make me feel less sluggish and if my stomach continues to be flatter. I want my old abs back big time!
 
Your job sounds similar to mine. I’m often the go to person because I apparently know everything and how to fix everything. It drives me insane sometimes. If people would just think for themselves once in a while things would probably run smoother and would also free up other people’s time. I’m also an introvert. I have my own office and a perfect work day for me is when people leave me alone and I can just blast my MP3 player. I love days like that! :)

As for your not being able to lose weight, if you’re doing exercises which will add muscle to your body that may be what’s happening. You said your pants weren’t biting into your stomach so clearly you’re losing inches. Maybe you’re losing fat, but gaining muscle which is canceling the weight loss out, BUT you’re still doing your body good and are making good progress towards your goal. Don’t get discouraged. You’ll get there!

I’m also with you in not eating enough fruits and vegetables. I definitely need to start adding more of both to my diet.
 
Hmmmm this is odd, my post from yesterday is gone. I think that I get logged out as I'm responding. Bummer!

Hi Mandy...I am hoping that eating better will make a big difference. I have always exercised, so I know that isn't the problem. We shall see :)

Today was okay, struggled to get in as much fruit and vegetables, but I did have some. Had pasta with a veggie pasta sauce for dinner. It was loaded with squash, zucchini and red pepper. Had some fruit for dessert.

Exercise was a three mile run and some lower body Pilates. Ran out of time to do abs, so I will do them first tomorrow.

It really is difficult for me to be aware of what I am eating and to be aware that I am in the process of making life style choices that will get me where I want to go. I did eat better before, just got out of the habit. Time to get back in the habit!
 
I cannot figure out how to change my ticker again. My weight today was 147. Today I did not do as good with eating enough fruits and vegetables. I did have a fruit smoothie for breakfast though. Should have had my apple for a snack, but I forgot.

I am trying to remember how I used to eat when I was thinner, there must have been a difference. I never drink soda, cannot stand the stuff, so that is not an issue. I think it is the over processed junk that really adds up if you look at the calories. Our bodies are basically like science experiments, there is a formula to get where we want to go. Then emotions and other kinds of desires kick in and seem to override what we actually need, and we go for what we want.

I bought a book that I am hoping will provide some of the answers that I am looking for. I do know that basically you've got to burn more calories than you take in. But I do think that there are foods that make us hungrier, those that help speed up our metabolism and all of that kind of thing.

It is definitely not working out that is my issue. I am doing all of the things that I remember back from my fitness instructor days (seems like a lifetime ago) so I do know that for the time that I'm spending working out that I am doing the correct combinations and burning more calories.

I didn't grow up with parents who really worried about nutrition. My Dad has always been heavy and my Mom stays remarkably thin for someone who doesn't worry about weight. She is 5'8" and about 145. My size actually, but she is 64. I'm just not comfortable at this size and of course the fear is that I will gain more weight.

So must keep going with this. I really want to get this accomplished as soon as possible. 20 lbs is certainly doable, I want this to go faster, I cannot lie. I really really do.
 
Click on the ticker in your signature, it will ask you for your PIN. If you don't remember it just create a new ticker with a new PIN.

Don't get discouraged, scales can be evil and don't tell the whole story. When was the last time you took your measurements? Have you noticed pants or shirts fitting better? Perhaps you are gaining muscle so the scale is budging. Even if that is not the case, don't give up. You will get there, just keep at it and your hard work will start to show.
 
Thanks for the encouragement icychic. But no, I am not gaining muscle, I have not changed my workouts enough to have that happen. I literally workout at least 360 days a year. I am going to try to change my run from 3 miles to 5 though. I did do that before and I think for me, with my body type, running is the best way to shed fat. I run better in the cold than the heat, so at least that is a bonus!

It is alas my diet. I need to create a calorie deficit with both my workout and my diet to spur the weight loss.

I know that I seem impatient, but that is kind of just the way that I am when I set my mind to something. And while I passively let this happen, I apparently do not feel very passive any more. Unfortunately nutrition books have the unfortunate side affect of making me fall asleep. Gosh I don't like to eat healthy and I don't even like reading about it! :D
 
I understand the impatience, I just want to be at my goal weight already!

If you feel it's over eating, you could try smaller portions. I have been attempting that and generally it works. I find otherwise I will try to finish the food on my plate whether or not I'm full. I've also been using way less salt in my cooking and try to avoid it completely if I can. Same with sugary drinks, include tea which I used to have super sweet, I've cut down a lot on the amount of sugar, and almost completely cut out pop, and can't remember the last time I bought juice. Sometimes just small changes make a huge difference, big changes may be too much too fast and won't last.

Sounds like the change in exercise should help as well. Good luck! You can do it!!
 
I hear you on the lifestyle change. I still struggle with it too. I know I shouldn't order out, but sometimes I just crave it too much or just don't have time to cook so out of convenience I do it. It's not doing me any favors, but once in a while doesn't really hurt.

It's funny that you mention how you mention how the over processed foods is what gets us into trouble. I'd been struggling big time with getting below 200lb and I was eating very little whole, fresh foods. Since eating more fruits and vegetables I'm now below 200lb. It's only been a week or two of eating this way. Coincidence? I think not! :) As far as remember how I ate when I was thin... unfortunately, I don't remember ever being thin so good for you for at least having that on your side. :)

My parents are the same way. My mom has always been on the thin side, but now she does have some extra weight she's trying to lose. My dad, he's horrible! The guy eats like a pig all day and doesn't gain so much as half of a pound! It's sad that I can't fit into his clothes. Not that I'd want to wear his clothes, but just knowing that a grown man is thinner than me... it's depressing!

I'm glad you're trying to mix it up for exercise to see if that helps. Hopefully it will. Just don't give up. You'll get where you need to be. :)
 
icychic and Mandy...Congratulations to you both on getting to your lowest weight!!! Thank you so much for your kind words and support. They really mean alot to me.

As I said before...I do not make it a habit of talking about my weight with anyone. I also do not talk to other people about their weight. I will tell someone, "Oh you look really pretty!" But I will not say, "Oh you've lost weight!" I don't like it when people say that to me, because all I can think of is "So you think I was fat?" Silly I know, but that is just me.

So what happened yesterday has bothered me quite a bit. I have told one friend that I am quite upset about gaining this 20 pounds (really more if you count my lowest weight of 112) and that I am working very hard to lose it. She made a big fuss about how I didn't need to and how and I quote "Everyone at work used to worry that you were anorexic or that you were sick and weren't telling anyone." WTF?!? I mean seriously, I don'thave the time or inclination to talk about anyone's weight or other personal types of issues. I really don't.

I work in a medical setting. I am in administration, but I would periodically, like maybe once a month, go to the clinic to weigh myself. I do remember one time hearing two of the nurses whispering about me. Now I do have a bit of a temper, so as I walked past them muttering a few choice words.

So I explained to my friend, that look I'm just not happy at this weight at all and whether or not you or anyone else thinks this suits me, I do not.

She then brought Halloween candy! Part of the reason I told her about my weight loss goals is that she often brings me cookies, candy and such. She always says "Oh you've had a stressful day, you deserve a treat." or "When it is Wednesday, there are no calories." She is by the way about 60 pounds over weight.

I told her that using food as a source of comfort when I have a stressful day is the last thing that I need and not a good habit to get in to.

So...I feel like she is trying to sabotage my attemps at weight loss and I feel like this little gossip group is probably secretly happy that I have gained this weight.

I do know that my friend wants to lose weight and I have tried to encourage her. I even brought her an exercise video catalogue. Why in the word would she try to discourage me???

Bleh! :confused:
 
Sounds like she's being a bit of a 'food pusher'. It can be frustrating, but she could be doing it so she feels better about what she's eating, or she's jealous that you are taking steps that she isn't ready to take herself for her health. They way she kind of snapped about you potentially having an eating disorder in the past makes me think it's jealousy. My best friend (who I love to death) always tries to make me eat junk food when I go home, I know it's because she wants to make herself feel ok about eating it though. I have a housemate that used to keep bringing me chocolate too, he always seemed to get me when I was weak to so I'd eat it. I'd tell him the next day to stop bringing it home but then he would again, then I finally snapped at him and said if he really wants to spend money on food for me, bring me avocadoes and strawberries. Haha, now he does!

I stumbled on this article last night which was interesting, it's thought experiments on weight loss and the great calorie debate: If you find reading about health stuff boring though it might bore you, haha! I lean more towards the belief that hormonal imbalances and nutrient deficiencies play a bigger role in weight gain than the simple calories in/calories out. A great blog with a heap of free info on all the recipes: I have her metabolism book and the cravings/moods one. Both awesome reads!

Haha sorry to make this post a bit of a novel! Lastly just wanted to say- I tend to run off the rails if I don't plan my food for the next day. It gives me structure and something to stick to, also means I spend time getting food ready for the next day so I'm less likely to derail myself. It's all about changing old habits!
 
You are losing this weight for you, right? So do your best not to let what other people say get to you. Your co-workers, like others said, are possibly jealous, or perhaps they are genuinely concerned that you do not need to lose weight and are going to be unhealthily underweight. As long as that is not the case, then ignore them. If it's simply that you do not feel good about yourself, do not feel healthy and do not feel self confident, then ignore them. Try to take the "have you lost weight?" comments as compliments, it means your efforts are working and your body is changing. But even if you cannot allow yourself to accept those comments as the compliments they are, try not to let them irritate you.

Focus on yourself, focus on eating right and doing what you need to feel better and get the body you want. Be firm when your friend brings unhealthy foods/treats and tell her you simply do not want any, but thank you for the offer. Even though she is overweight, it appears she has no intention of losing it, and that is her choice. Don't try to get her to change as it will do nothing but frustrate both of you.

YOU CAN DO THIS! Just focus on yourself and keep moving towards your goals. As hard as it is to do, try to ignore and forget that co-workers have been talking behind your back. It does you no good to worry about this as there really isn't much you can do about it.
 
There's a reason why I prefer the company of animals more than people the majority of the time. People can be so mean, intentional or not. Or, they could just be totally clueless about things and how the words that they're saying can affect others. I can understand why you're angry, but try not to let it get to you. You know that the truth. All you can do is be a better person today than you were yesterday. Reach for your goals and don't let anyone else get you down. :)

I hope you're feeling better about things today.
 
Let me start my saying thank you to Lucy, icychic and Mandy. Thank you for stopping by and adding your words of encouragement to my diary. When I say that I never ever talk about how much I weigh or feel super comfortable talking about how much others weigh with them I really mean that.

I don't mean to sound dramatic, but I think that I was a bit scarred by the school nurse. We'd get weighed each year and she'd shout out our weights. I matured very early. I was as tall as I am now (5' ft 7 in) in the 5th grade. So I was pretty much the size of a full grown woman. And while I was not heavy, I weighed significantly more than the other girls who still looked like girls.

That is why it was kind of a big deal for me to actually talk about this with my friend. She has been saying that she wants to lose weight for a family wedding. I brought her those exercise catalogs because she asked for them. I just won't eat what she brings and I won't feel badly about it either.

Today I went to the clinic (I had to, not to weigh myself I now have my own scale) and one of the women who is a known pot stirrer said to me "Oh your skirt is so cute, my daughter has one too." Her daughter is a freshman in college and she was insinuating that I was dressed inappropriately. Well one of this ladies thighs would not fit in this skirt. So I just said really loudly, "Oh wow thank you so much! It feels so great to know that I can still fit into clothes bought in the juniors section!" And it felt good! Then I just sauntered away leaving her red faced. I am seriously over these people! Later someone came up to me and said, "Good for you!"

All of this kind of nonsense is amazing to me. And although it makes me uncomfortable, I will try not to let it get to me.

I did have a really bad, down day on Saturday. I was totally unproductive, although I did work out. That meant Sunday I was super busy. Got up at 4:30 am. That always feels better to me, to be productive. Today was another busy day. I had to be at work a little early to prepare for a presentation, so I got up early too. Did my 3 mile run and an ab DVD. Had chili for lunch, so Yay and I have packed some leftovers from dinner for lunch tomorrow.

I will keep on track. I will also avoid going to the clinic. Thank goodness I don't work in that part of the building.

Again...thanks everyone for your support. I am realizing that I have a lot of hangups about weight. I kind of knew that, but even knowing it is still kind of unsettling just how much of my self esteem and happiness is tied in to my comfort level with my body. When this gets sorted out, I will never ever let this happen again, since I have been quite miserable!





Lucy I will look at those links. I admire your ability to be motivated to invest time and energy into cooking. I do have a bit to learn about nutrition that is for sure.
 
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Oh Jade, I think we all have hang ups about our weight. Otherwise we would not be here. I love this place. It's really a great place to vent and to give and get encouragement from others who are fighting the same war.

I'm glad you stood up for yourself and felt good about it. If that lady is a known pot stirrer than she totally had it coming. :)

I hated school. We didn't have a nurse who did our weigh ins, in fact I don't remember weigh ins at all, but I despised phys ed classes in high school. It wasn't the class itself that I hated, but the whole changing in the locker room. Our locker rooms were not private at all in terms of having any individual stalls or anything. It was all out in the open. Self conscious people were left with no choice but to have to undress in front of the other girls. Ugh.. just the thought of that makes me cringe! :( I wonder if things have changed since then?

Anyway, keep going as you're going. You're going to be just fine. Keep pushing yourself and blocking those nasty people out. They deserve any of your time or energy. :)
 
Thank you Mandy...I'm glad that I did too.

I thought it back then and all of these years later too...forcing people to underess in front of others should be against the law. Period end of story. My locker room was the same. Just plain wrong! Apparently there is some hot springs in I think Iceland, where you have to strip naked and shower before going in. There is even a diagram by the shower on how to wash. My fiance was interesting in going there one day, so I googled it and found this information out. I said I love you but absolutely not. Not ever ever ever :)

I have been pretty good about packing my lunch for the past two days. Left overs from dinner. I eat them at my desk while doing email and then go to the library for a bit. I have added in fruits and vegetables and even though I still have a big bowl of Halloween candy I have not had any. I am not the kind of person who can have one piece of candy. :)

Exercise has been good. Running and weights and abs. I have also been trying to go to bed a half hour earlier. Didn't work last night, but I will try tonight. Then I am less tired in the morning and am able to start my workout by 5:00 am.

I had some work stress today and felt myself ready to grab for some sweets. But I resisted. Yay! And my boss is finally beginning to understand me and that I do not react very well to her mood swings. I've totally nailed some big projects and I think she is now like "Ooooohhh that's how she works when left to her own devices." She told me she totally understands my need to 'sequester' myself at times to work too.

So my car overheated today and I may have a major repair to pay for...but well you can't have everything!
 
I didn't go to bed early last night as planned, ended up looking for a cool pair of boots that I want on the internet. I love boots.

So I will need to make myself be quick.

My car is ok, Yay!

Day started off very rocky because I went to bed at midnight. But I got myself on track. I then gave myself a day to just do some things that I needed to do. I did work at home, and I did make some progress on my next big project. But I was very chill and did laundry and ate a healthy lunch and just basically was very quiet and alone. I need that. I wish I didn't need it but I do. A little afraid about what is waiting for me in the office tomorrow, because I didn't even check my work email.

I actually ate a grilled chicken wrap and a fruit cup for lunch. Dinner was vegetable lasagna with a cucumber and tomato salad. Strawberries for desert. I did later have a pice of some kind of pseudo healthy coffee cake. Tastes a bit dry, but better than nothing. It was a pineapple carrot cake.

Tomorrow I will get a good start. Clothes are picked out, breakfast is 'pre made' and lunch is packed.

I did a 30 minute cardio with light weights DVD. A 15 minute upper body DVD and a 10 minute ab DVD. I was all set to run, but then it started to rain. Rather short workout for me, but that was before I knew I was going to not go in to the office and so I was rushing.

I really am trying to eat better and get a little more sleep and I must say that I don't feel as drained. Well except for last night....but boy did I want those boots!
 
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Sorry I'm a bit behind in your diary :(

First: You're friend asked for the exercise stuff? Then she is just not at the right place yet. She will get there in her own time, maybe. All you can do is encourage her really, the rest is up to her. Seems like part of her wants to change, but another part is still in denial or lazy and resisting the change.

Great come-back at the clinic! I would NEVER have thought of a witty response like that. Good for you!!

Mandy: I hated changing in school too. It sucked. I always put my shirt on first and got very good at doing it in a way that I didn't show much, and not for more than half a second if I did. It was generally a long shirt so I could have my bum covered while I changed my pants. Then when putting my regular clothes on it was the opposite. Also ensure I was facing a wall, and tried to find a corner with few people in it. Very uncool!

Good for you Jade not eating the evil Halloween candy! And the better eating and exercising, yay!! So great :) I have been bad with chips, but not a full bag in a day. Took me a week I think for the last one, but caved and bought another bag yesterday. Just so yard lately to say no! They call to me, and they were on sale...evilevilevil.

Glad your car is OK! Vehicles...they are great, but they can be way to costly sometimes.

Keep up the awesomeness!!
 
So I think we were all lockerroom haters!! :)

Thanks for the support icychic, the chips and candy are calling to me today!

I have actually avoided my friend. Life is difficult enough without people who become difficult. As bad as it sounds, she is just not someone with a lot of motivation and now that I recognize that, I will not waste my time trying to motivate her. When she says that she is going to start doing whatever for her health, I will just say, "That's good!" and be done with it. Much easier that way for me!

Sometimes life is just plain hard and I do get resentful. I'm ready to have everything that needs to be sorted out, done with. But that is not to be just yet.

I think it is at those times that I reach for the junk. It is very hard to be mindful in those moments but I try. Today I decided to write in my journal instead of reach for that candy!

I packed lunch again yesterday and ate really early. I get up so early, workout early and really don't have time for a huge breakfast, so I think waiting until 1:30 pm to eat lunch was just too late.

Today I am actually having some motivational problems. That happens when I get off track, but I will work out as soon as I'm done with this post.

I can see what a difference adding the fruits and vegetables to my diet is making with my energy levels and in particular with the way my stomach looks. I can just barely make out my oblique muscles again! Yay! Gotta get a little more fat off of them first before they will be how they were.

See the indentation of the musles in my outer thighs coming back as well. Triceps need work, but I am trying. For me a combination of cardio mixed in with weights seems to work best.

I had tendonites in one of my rhomboid muscles last year and I think that is also part of the reason I put on weight. Came from work stress and working long hours typing on a computer. The weight lifting I do has helped with that.

The ab exercises that I like to do became impossible and made the tendonites a lot worse. I'm still building up to the more challenging ab exercises.

Ok so this was a good distraction from the candy and chips that were calling to me at 9:00 am lol. On to a late workout and a hopefully productive day!
 
I wish I knew why Saturdays seem to find me in a bit of a funk for two weeks now. I didn't do half of what I wanted to do and I slept a lot. I am not usually one who sleeps so that was very odd.

I did have some junk. But I also did my workout and then made myself eat some fruit and vegetables. Even though I slept during the day. I'm still tired now, which is good because I don't want for my sleep schedule to be off.

Hopefully this is just a temporary thing. It is quite new and not something I like at all that is for sure!
 
Thankfully, I never had to change clothes in front of other people, but I shudder at the very thought of it. It is definitely something unpleasant.

As for your friend, even if it doesn't sound good, I think she is best avoided. I hate to say this, but if the person doesn't see the effort for improving his health will be worth it, or doesn't realize the impact his current lifestyle is having on him, He'll never make any progress, and no amount of help or support will ever change that.

It's up to the individual, to first change internally, either by an immense desire, or by a tragedy. I had to hit rock bottom, before I realized what I was doing to myself, and willful ignorance had a lot to do with it, but I've never been as committed as I'm now. I don't think it could have happened any other way.

I'm sorry that today didn't went very well for you, hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Good luck, and take care. :grouphug:
 
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