I'm tired of getting critized for how I work out and how big I am... I constantly get big boy and other names, not realizing how it impacts me... also I hold on to the treadmill when I walk and people I work with are always saying crap about it... im just so tired of rude people! Thanks for hearing me!
Yeah, this is tough. When I show up at the local track, and it's only me and another woman, she somehow never finishes anymore laps and ends up taking off. It's consistent enough I notice it, and while I can't argue with wanting to protect yourself, I guess I look like the bearded jolly rapist.
Playgrounds are one thing, but being singled out in adult life, at a gym no less, just tells you about the kind of culture we live in.
I don't know what to tell you. Staying quiet is bullshit, but you can't hit anyone, and if you give it back verbally, then you're "sensitive." Once a sore spot is discovered, it's returned to again and again.
People you work with? Like daily, job work? Or people at the gym? Because I've found there were some folks who enjoyed having me around because it made their dick look big. Once I wasn't satisfied with being the fat, single friend, they took off.
I guess the bottom line is that you're doing this for you, and you have to put up with total jackasses for awhile, any way you can.
If you're really up to it, and you should be above this, but sometimes I'm not, you just STOP everything when someone says something. Just stop. Get off the treadmill. VISIBLY, in front of everyone, ask the person to join you. Look them in the eye, and just say, "what, exactly, do you mean by that?" Keep looking them in the eye. They WILL look away, but just keep looking at em. This works well, because their whole goal is to draw negative attention to you. This maneuver twists that energy back and around at them, like judo. Suddenly, they're on the spot, and they have to explain why they said something cruel. This will create nervousness; you're coping with yours, but they most likely are not. You might get a terse, mumbled apology, or even worse, the person will continue but press back harder because inside they sense the confrontation. You often will get a "well, you know", or, "What, it's just a joke!" What you say then is up to you, but on the few occasions I have done this, I have *withered* some people and made them tuck their tail between their legs.
But people are assholes. Doesn't mean you have to be.
