I’ve been weight-loss shamed!

[Lauretta]

Hello everyone,

As the title says, yesterday I was weight-loss shamed and hoo-boy is it ever bothering me.

I put on a TONNE of weight in the last year thanks to Covid. I wasn’t exactly a waif before 2020, but I was accepting of those few extra pounds. I had slacked off on the exercise, but I wasn’t in horrible shape. Then Covid hit and between a year of lockdowns and being unable to work (I’m a musician), I managed to depression eat-drink-Netflix my way to a horrible number on the scale.

I saw that number at the beginning of February. It was the wake-up call I needed (well, that and not even coming close to fitting into any of my clothes). From that moment I cut out the croissants and the pizzas and the “family size” Chinese take-out and the BEER and replaced them with fruits and vegetables and lean meats and whole grains. I drink a lot of water. I am off the couch and exercising every day (I have a spin bike at home and free weights AND I live in a beautiful place and I do a 10km walk 4-5 times a week for “zen”). I want to do this right so I have been logging everything I eat and calorie counting and I am trying to stay between 1,600-1,800 calories a day (not less). I am not doing a “fad“ diet. I am never feeling hungry.

I have lost 22 pounds, but with all of the exercise and strength training, I think it LOOKS like more as the jiggly bits are turning to muscly bits. I am feeling great. I am happier, have more energy and I think I look good! I also have friends and family who are wonderful cheerleaders.

Yesterday an acquaintance said to me (unsolicited I might add) “you have lost a notable amount of weight. Whatever you’re doing must be bad because it’s too fast.” I found myself trying to justify my weight loss - explaining that I had gone from being a couch potato eating and drinking lord knows how many calories a day of junk food to a healthy and balanced diet and a lot of exercise. But he insisted that I am doing something wrong and kind of hinted at an eating disorder.

I know I am being silly, but I am so bothered and annoyed ... 5 minutes before that conversation I was feeling good, I was happy with the changes in my body and I was so happy to be wearing clothes that didn’t resemble a potato sack. Now I am doubting my process because I am having reasonably fast results (so far).

Anyone else been weight-loss shamed?

 

[Llama]

Congratulations on losing a LOT of weight! I haven´t been shamed but there have definitely been people who were uncomfortable with the change they saw in me - before my weight had even gone down into the healthy range. Most people just don´t like change much. And some feel that other people improving themselves threatens their own sense of self-worth when they used to feel superior and now no longer can. Losing 22 pounds in 7 weeks IS a lot, by the way, unless you started at a very high weight. Still: it´s your body and you get to decide what to do with it.

 

[marniebake]

there's always going to be someone who, completely unsolicited, simply insists they know us better than we know ourselves. if you're listening to your body and it's saying, "We're good to go, nothing wrong here" then you have two equally valid options:

1. ignore them, because their comments don't really merit the mental energy required to correct them
2. flaunt the body you've been working hard for and show them just how little their unsolicited opinion of you matters

congratulations by the way! it may slow down somewhat soon, since a temporary plateau is quite common, but so long as your method works for you and you're not feeling deprived, depressed, or overall awful because of it, then your process is likely just fine

 

[Cate]

It sounds to me like you lost this weight in a very healthy way, even though it was quick. Your "friend" should be ignored. Be proud of what you have achieved & don't take any notice.

some feel that other people improving themselves threatens their own sense of self-worth when they used to feel superior and now no longer can.

This may hit the nail on the head.

 

[Ellyria]

Hi, I've not only been told I'm, "getting too thin" in person but on this forum I've been told I shouldn't be trying to lose any more weight. I'm only 5' 2" so the 8 stone I would like to get down to is still far from underweight. Like you Lauretta I found myself justifying why I want to be a perfectly appropriate weight for my build and I'm still irritated by it. Try to ignore the comment, it was just stupid but it is a shame it was said. Good luck with your continued weight loss. Could your friend be jealous? It is odd how overweight people are often the first to give unrequested diet advice.

 

[Laura0280x]

my god!! some people are so on alert for eating disorders while being judgemental about it in the process They obviously know nothing of them. As bringing someone down would only aggravate the issue. everyone loses weight quickly in the beginning it will slow down, exercise is the main reason you have lost this weight. You've obviously worked hard to lose it so quickly and now you're feeling great! Well done you should be proud, Continue with those positive feelings and don't let that one person making an error of judgement ruin your Happiness.