It's all about ROUTINE!

Thanks feelingooder..

Yeh think you are right for getting rid of the underweight clothes I have put them in to take to a charity shop. Because even tho some of them are pretty I never want to be underweight again..even tho half my head misses being like that in reality its not healthy mentally or for your body. I have decided to keep healthy weight clothes which are plain tshirts,jumpers,shorts,2skirts,a couple of nice tops, and a black dress. These are useful clothes...but the rest is going to go :) cant wait to get rid of it now.


Lol yes the winter is horrible now! Im guna try get out to the gym in a mo as im feeling a bit of a zombie.
 
managed to get to the gm but didnt do much it was very very busy because I went at 5pm and it's a monday i must remember not to do that again. swimming pool was so busy that I only went in for ten mins. But ate least I got out. Feeling quite chilled now though and it feels better having my flat more tidy!
 
Feel free to put whatever you want in your signature babe! You did the best thing for your guinea pig, love is being able to let go, sometimes. I had a couple of guineas and ended up having to give them away because they needed more than I was willing to give. Currently I am "babysitting" a hedgehog, and I am quite enjoying spending time with it... but in the long term, an animal would not be right for me, because I don't have the time and dedication for it, right now.


You are doing great, and a UK 16 is not that big. I know it always feels very different when it is your body. I am a 14 and I see other girls being a 14 and think they look great, while I only see fat in the mirror some days... Apparently Marilyn Monroe was a UK 16! ;)


Have a great week, J
 
Hey :) aww thanks for saying that about the guinea pig. Think it's going to take me a while to get over it but I will. It is nice though not having sawdust all over my flat as it got everywhere!


It is true what you say about a size 16, I am more used to feeling this weight on me now, when I first put it on it felt horrible. It still feels a bit uncomfortable now and I feel uncomfortable in front of others and I do struggle with doing the same things at this weight that I would do if i was slim. But my thinking isnt as bad as what it used to be, and i can think other people are my size, also smaller,also bigger. And like you have just said I look at other people who must be a 16 and think that they look great. I think the main thing though is health and I want to be healthy. :)


thanks for coming by again, have a great week too.
 
I am sleeping way way too much probably about 11 hours a night. I hate the mornings...I tell myself to just go back to sleep because I haven't got anything to do and I don't want to get up and face the day or face what is going on right now. I might write a list of all the things I don't want to face.


When I get up I feel low. It takes me an hour or two to not feel groggy. Before when I had a routine I used to be up and out of the door three days a week and cycle for half an hour to the center I was going to, but I am not there anymore.


On a Monday I will be up and out by half nine as I will be volunteering at a toddler's group. yay! :) On Wednesday next week I have my NLP course so I will be out by 12. On Friday I have my other weekly group so I will be out by 10.30


Now i have nothing to do i get up and just don't go out until i feel like it and feel awake. how can I motivate myself to get up ? ! !


OK there is a yoga class at my gym tomorrow morning at 9.35 that is going to be a hell of a challenge to get to!! I would be half a sleep! But I could try just once. I have to get moving somehow.


*edit also I was thinking yesterday that I'm not doing anything that is FUN. And maybe that's where my problem is. Yes I Enjoy coming on here, or going to the gym, but I don't do anything really really fun and I don't know how to get that ! Although I am thinking of making some cakes and I find that fun.
 
Hey Tink,

I don't know what all you are going through right now and not having a job may have put you in the early stages of depression (the sleeping alot could be a symptom of that). One thing you might do is to write a gratitude list...that means, write a list of all the things for which you are grateful...it can be big or small stuff...and this list is for you...not for me or anyone else. It's hard to be depressed when you are grateful! don't just think it...write it...there is something magic about pen and ink (or computer wordprocessor!). While you are at it, you might want to write down your goals for your weight...I see you have been underweight...and now, you are over weight...I'd suggest writing down what you want your body to be and then write the plan to get there. Each person has to find their own way, and I'm certainly not an expert, so take that for what it's worth (not alot I'm sure!) ..so just know we're here to help and encourage you to find the person you want to be!

Sarah
 
thanks sarah I do think of the things I am grateful for, Im definitely going to get onto that list! thankyou for the suggestion. I do have a lot to be grateful for. Yeh I can suffer from depression, I don't really recognise it in myself right now as when I am depressed, I sleep in the afternoon even, I dont get dressed,shower,dont go out and I am bad with food. I dont seem to be doing those at the moment...and I am really trying hard I think. Although you are right in when I wake up I feel depressed. then the rest of my day I managed to distract myself. My grandpa is very unwell at the moment and I think that is something I dont want to face and is probably what \I think of too when I dont want to get out of bed. Thanks for your post you have given me a lot to think about. :)


As for my weight I have small targets in my head of half stones to loose, just half a stone and see what its like there, then another maybe and stay there for a bit...taking it in chunks! ok I have gone and written my goals. I now know what I am actually aiming for!


My goals:


I want a healthy weight and lifestyle that is forever going, not just a short term fix. I want to maintain at a weight, which will be about 9.5 or 10 stone. I want a forever ongoing exercise regime of doing the exercise videos I have, cardio at the gym,yoga,gym classes, outdoor cycling/jogging/walking and swimming. I want to get the right balance of exercise.


I want to learn how to relax and give this time to myself. [/b]


I want to enjoy things in my life.[/b]


I want to do a short course in something I am interested in.[/b]


I have amazed myself today and just done an exercise video which I haven't done since I was about 21. It is one of Davina's and I really do recomend them. Felt a bit cold and shaky afterwards, but feel ok now. I made myself a smoothie with soya milk,protein powder, and blueberries. Although my smoothie maker makes this strange smell that something is wrong with it...and the blueberries didn't get smoothiefied and were at the bottom. And I am also aprehensive about the protein powder I am using as I don't think it is good quality. These are the ingredients:


these are the ingredients protein blend(whey protein concentrate,whey protein hydrolysate,why protein isolate) sucralose,cinnamon powder, emulsifiers,maltodextrim,cocobut oil, sucrose, lactoperoxidse, beta carotene,vitamin c,vitamin e, anti cake agent


I have read up on info of different protein powders on the fitness forum but don't know what whey protein concentrate is.I get that whey is good because It gets absorbed quickly for recovery after a workout. However I am aprehensive if whey is good for the body or not..i.e kidneys to deal with protein being absorbed that quick.


I have also thought about getting some egg white powder or pea protein from myprotein.co.uk. But these aren't absorbed quickly but are a good source of protein.



I also know that the body can only use 26g of protein at a time so having any more than this is pointless. So I want to aim for about 26g 3 x a day. Having protein in shakes will be useful after exercise when I don't feel like eating, and sometimes for breakfast. I am going to work out how much protein I am eating per day.



[/b]
 
Hi! I think you should keep some of the cloths that you really liked and didnt represent anything bad. I think it would make you feel really good to get back into them someday.
 
size32someday....thankyou i might do that. :)



eeeeeerrrrrm..................My legs are really sore! ! ! ! ! argh!! from the exercise video, I only did half an hour focusing on the stomach with cardio intervals, my stomach isn't so bad ( I can feel it at the top), and half an hour on squats with cardio (starjump/jogging on spot intervals. ) Obviously the muscles in my legs haven't been used before and the fronts and backs of them feel heavy and harder to move...even to walk. So where do I go from here? obviously I need a couple of days rest, although Im meant to be cycling to a group tomorrow, so hopefully I will be ok by then!! And I need to cycle to the shops today.


But what about next time I want to do the video? where do I start? Maybe I should just do half of the leg video. I really don't know what to do. I would like to do the video about twice a week because It was fun. But that's not possible if my legs are like this, so obviously somehow I need to build it up. Annoying thing is while I was doing it I felt fine, so I won't know until the next day if I have over done it or not. But ohwell I guess I would only learn by try and error, and can adjust the amount I do next time, and gradually build it up. I might try and go for a swim today although I don't know if that would help or not?


I couldn't sleep last night either, I felt stressed and hyped up. I have managed to sleep this morning from 7 till 11.30.
 
Hey Tink

I'm really impressed by your goals! They are reasonable vision of you! Most goals are achieved when we put some short term objectives with them. To do that, take your goal and think of some measureable objectives that will contribute to making the goal...not all at once, but something you can build on. For example for your first goal, you may want to set an objective of "To walk or swim 30 minutes/day". For your second one, you may want to do something like " Read at least 3 books and do the actions recommended on relaxation techniques"...I don't know if this will help you, but it's a tried and true method to achieving goals. I'm rooting for you!


Sarah
 
Hey Tink,

I was just on facebook...and one of my friends posted this in her status...I thought about your previous post...


"A goal without a plan is a wish"...the objective setting is part of the Plan! Step by step and inch by inch...that's what it's all about to achieve goals! Hope this helps!


Sarah
 
:iagree: with Sarah about moving on to setting the objectives next and those goals are fantastic. Maybe make them a weekly series of objectives you want to achieve that you can review at the end of each week, gauge your progress and figure out what to tackle next week. As Sarah suggested, having something specific to measure against forces us to make a commitment to ourself that is not easily ignored. Ask yourself, what four things could I do this week to put me closer to each of my long term goals?
 
Hey sarah and feeling gooder, your advice has really helped. I am now thinking of my goals as split into building blocks and each thing I do such as look up smoothie recipes, learn a new stretch,tidying house ( makes me less stessed ), eating protein etc, is a building block. I have written in a big book my goals and how I can achieve them. I am also going to write in nutritional information and whatever else which will help me. I have written building blocks to do this week, and building blocks for each day. A lot of things I need to do over and over again so I need to be consistent. I also need to be patient as this isn't going to happen overnight!


Anyway thanks so much for what you have put as it's going to really help me a lot. :)


Today my building blocks were to rest my legs, which i need to do in order to be able to get back to the gym. To eat protein which I need in order to not loose muscle and to build it. To tidy up - I have cleaned out my kitchen cupboards. Look at short term courses, which I have done and just need to decide which I want to do and will book them this Wednesday. Look at smoothie book, have done. Been to shops and goten fresh air. Done stretches this morning for my legs!


so doing pretty good :)


I realize to reach my goals there are things I need to do such as be organized, be tidy, and relax, otherwise I get too stressed to do anything at all.


This morning I didn't go in to my group as It is half an hour cycle and two hills and I couldn't do it because my legs were stiff and like lead still.

I am going to try and learn from this, i know doing that particular exercise video will do that to my legs because of the squats, so squats I need to build up gradually when my legs are better, maybe by just doing 5 per day or something. I realize that it is going to take a while to get to where I want to be with doing these sort of exercises. I also think it is important to have some rest days for the body to completely recover.


I didn't sleep well last night, I need to learn to relax before I go to bed and give myself this time, I am finding this hard to do.
 
So I had kind of a couple of bad days at the weekend..I left my legs recover from last thursday till today so Haven't done any proper exercise since then which feels like a long time. I don't now know how to approach that particular exercise video again, if it means I then can't exercise for the rest of the week!


Anyway on saterday I had to go over to my mums house for the night as we were picking up my cousins the next day for the day over at hers. I had a meal on the sat night but felt bad because I wasn't hungry and my body felt like it didn't need it, but once i started eating I found it hard to stop, and would have rather have been at home following my own eating routine.


On the sunday we had a large sunday meal of chicken,sausages,stuffing etc. again I didn't feel that i needed anything, but because everyone was eating and my cousins were there I sat down to eat. And ate too much...and then after the meal continued to eat/slightly binge. I went home stuffed and to bed stuffed and felt horrible. I hate using food in that way. Anyway even though those days were bad I need to come up with a plan around family of how to cope and write it in my big book. Maybe I should take myself away from the food and not eat a meal with them when my body doesn't need a large meal because I hate being full. Maybe I could just stick to my eating routine and explain to them and ignore what they are doing. When I know people are eating a big meal, it's like a switch gets turned on in my brain and I go into binge mode.


But the good stuff is that I went to volunteer at the toddlers group. So I got up early. After I was too tired though to then go to the gym.


Also yesterday I ordered some pea protein,inulin( like fibre stuff), and whey protein isolate.


I am going to take a shake in the morning with pea protein which will then be released slowly throughout the day which will be very useful. I am going to take the whey after doing a workout and no more than once a day. I also wanted to get some flaxseed but it was well expensive so I will look in a health food store for that.


I also now need to start saving money. I spend so much money on food each week. I need to keep track of what I spend and also get the cheapest items. It's easier to see what the cheapest items are online, so I may start shopping online if I need a lot of stuff even though the delivery is then £5.


I think that I am drinking too much soya milk probably 1 to 2 L a day. However I don't know how bad this is for me, and I don't know what to drink instead of it. Any other milks have a high carb content. I know there is rice milk,almond milk, normal milk,lactose free milk. soya is the only one with low carb content which really suits me.


I think that's all now! Hope everyone has a good day!
 
just thought about family meals...and if it's because I feel a pressure to eat when actually I wouldnt be eating otherwise, I feel a pressure to appear normal and be social, I don't feel in control, almost feel as though I have to eat, I am being forced, and I think that switches on my binge trigger mode in my head. Next time I think I need to just do what is right for me instead of thinking about the other people, I know that Is harsh but what is the point in me putting myself in a dangerous zone to keep others happy when it makes me so unhappy?



Anyway Last night I had a dream that I was binging on toast! My older brother and I were at my mums house and we both made sandwhiches...he made a ham one...and I duno what sort I made...and we both swopped...and the bread triggered me into binging...and for the rest of the day I couldn't stop eating sanwhiches and toast and I was stuffed. I have binge dreams sometimes, I almost panic because they feel so real. And this being at my mums house with my brother is familiar....and obviously still raw in my mind of when I was at home in my teens and I did binge with my brothers around and it made me feel "bad" ,discusting,selfish,horrible about myself. And I was told off and moaned at . . . . and told I was selfish yada yada. obviously dreaming about this it is still in my mind. This is far from the case today however as I don't live with them anymore, my brothers are grown up and my mum and I have moved on in wonderful ways and we now have a great relationship. It's always hard to let go of the past, especially when it's in your unconcious mind!!!


SO I hope that doesn't affect me today. I woke up thinking about my grandpa today too.


Anyway I am getting up earlier at the moment and going to bed earlier!! YAY! :) today I got up at 8.30 and woke up at 8.00. I have a doc appt at 11, then after that I will go straight to the gym, probably on the cross trainer and then for a swim. Yesterday I went on the treadmill I slow jogged for about 4 one mintues in between walking, which isn't much but I didnt have the energy to do much so was pushing myself. when I stretched after had a bit of pain in my knee. I am always worried about injuring myself through exercise. I wish I had the money for a personal trainer! lol.


erm I kind of think thats it....apart from I want a scale that shows body fat percentage....as I don't like normal scales. And also I am thinking of not weighing for a while. because I don't think weighing myself is going to help with mentality at this point.
 
Hey Tink,

Keep in today...and don't believe your dreams...they are that, dreams...not reality! Good job on the treadmill and running! I've heard good things about personal trainers...but I've never had one...some people say it helps motivate them to exercise..others need someone to tell them what to do...my experience is that it's nice, but not necessary. I don't know about the new scales...I'm pretty basic...a scale once a month and measurements once a month...and the biggest indicator is how my clothes fit...and that's every day! Keep it simple!

Sarah
 
thankyou sarah. I only would want a personal trainer so I could properly learn how to do squats, lunges,sit ups etc safely and properly to prevent any damage/injuries. But I can't afford one anyhow! lol. And the scales is because when you loose weight, it can be water and muscle that you loose and not fat...in the past when I have lost weight I have most likely lost a lot of muscle however I am trying to do this differently this time by eating protein regularly to try and prevent muscle loss. So for me to have a way to measure body fat percentage would be a better way to measure my progress. Been to the gym again today but didn't have much energy at all and felt a bit spaced out. So I did absolute minimal! The weather here today is more like summer! its usually very cold recently. I think it was the change in weather that made me feel spaced out! Anyway I feel way too tired though to go out and enjoy it and go cycling. :( although I'm guna try go down into the communal garden. It feels like a shock to the system to have weather like this!
 
Agree with you on the body fat % tracking. Have had a fairly basic scale for the past few years that tracks weight and body fat % and while it's far from perfect it gives a good rough number to track which also lets me keep an approx track of my lean body mass to see if I'm building or losing any significant amount of muscle.

If you do pick one up, try to use it at the same time of day and in roughly the same state you were in on the previous day. I've heard first thing in the morning after drinking a single glass of water is supposed to be a good time for it. Like the scale don't take it too seriously as it can tend to fluctuate over the smallest things. (If I get on my scale after I shower vs before I end up seeing a 2-5% swing in the percentages and even something as basic as having cold feet this morning threw it off by 2% within 30 minutes to weighing myself.
 
Im struggling today... I think with emotions, I am hopeless at making decisions, and today I had to decide to go into this particular group or not and I decided not to go. That then made me feel bad...which has had a bit of a knock on affect on me I think. Now I feel a bit annoyed at myself! Im worried the people in the group will be angry at me for not going. But currently I am deciding if the group is what I want, if it is good for me or not...making this decision is really affecting me. I overeat about it last night. Not good lol. I just worry far too much! I am thinking maybe I should go for 2 weeks and see and then make up my mind. And if It is not for me than I shall not go again. I don't know if the group is going to help me or hold me back! There are a couple of people there who I am unsure of...and I just don't want to be put down/feel down etc.


So I haven't exercised today and haven't been that nice to myself in some ways, but I have kept above water. I have tidied up, got fresh air, and looked for courses to do. So those things are good things...and I can make the rest of the evening good too. I can sort out my huge draw of clothes, watch a bit of TV, do some more research on courses and get organised with my next steps for next week. I an also sort out my music on my ipod.


I had a mad craving a moment ago for tinned mackeral in oil. so i just had to have it asap!!! I am eating a lot of prawns at the moment and I have just realised that they contain a lot of salt...and I think this is leaving a taste in my mouth and making me crave salty/oily thing. I am really craving oily fish and olive oil!. I am eating a lot of fish right now. I am also probably not drinking enough water. I am thinking I need to stop eating the prawns even though I really like them. I should def not eat them for breakfast anymore. So in the morning I shall have a smoothie made with pea protein...and maybe some scrambled eggs. when I get up I also always need to come on here as it gives me motivation and makes me feel positive. Then do an exercise video/cleaning/walk.gym. Then evening is the time to sort out whatever else i need to do.


Ok so I need to pull myself up from here and focus on my goals and stop worrying about the group!




feelingooder - thanks i think Im going to look into getting one :)
 
Thanks einszwei I do usually vision myself being at the weight I want to be. Think I was just feeling a bit off yesterday.


I think when I think about my goals such as I want to do an online diploma, there's voices of people in my head telling me I cant do it, or laughing at me even thinking I could do it. . and I am haunted from my past and the stress I had doing a levels, but that now was a long long time ago. I am A LOT better now than then. I was not well mentally back then. I was only 17/18, I had pressure from teachers, peers etc. Now all of that is GONE...and when I start the online diploma this will be something that I am interested in, so will be eager to study. It will also be something which I HAVE CHOSEN and I will be studying for ME. I have an eagerness to learn things right now...so right now is the time to be doing it. Great thing about doing it online is that I can study whenever. There are no dealines and no pressure. It's just me learning for the enjoyment of it. And I have the money saved for it. I Just need to decide which course is the best and then get going with it! :0). I need to constantly remind myself that I am in a good place now, that there is noone to bother me or put me down or put pressure on me. It's just me! And I am on my own side. So the feelings that I am having about it and myself are actually invalid and I need to remind myself of that.


feeling a bit calmer now. I KNOW that I can make something of my life. I KNOW I am not stupid. I KNOW I would be good advising people and i KNOW that this is the right time to start that journey it may take a while to get there but bit by bit I can If I wanted to. A diploma is a good way to start.


Weight wise I cant stop weighing because I am bored. I am worried that I am not loosing very quickly at all. I know I am eating a lot, I don't know if I should try and cut out fruit at some point to reduce carbs. And I definitely should exercise more!! Im being very lazy right now. But I am trying to not put so much stress on myself, and as long as I am eating healthily still that will be good enough for now. I am in a much better position than what I have ever been in. I am making a lot of smoothies so getting a lot of greens and antioxidants. I am eating a lot of protein. I am eating the most healthy-iest I have probably ever eaten.
 
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