It's all about me

Wow that's a good calorie day. That's what most people eat in diet mode, are you able to maintain on higher? I agree that life should not be spent counting calories all the time. If you're eating a lot of junk and being bad then that's another story altogether. I used to count cals in my head but would always stop as I started binging. There's got to be a happy medium to maintaining without obsessing and still enjoying life and the wonderful flavors of food.
 
Hey Blancita! I haven't actually counted calories on a daily basis since June 17th (I had to go back and look it up! LOL), until then I was religiously faithful to fitday every day. So I'm not sure what my maint. number really is, I've been going on the assumption that it's a range between 1800-1900 - provided I'm lifing 3x week and running 2x. That's probably a good guesstimate because I haven't varied in weight by more than 2lbs up or down since then...and the 2lbs up only since I got sloppy about the running.

Making up templates based on cals/macros has worked pretty well for me since then so I'm going back to a very simplified one.

You said something that made me think though "There's got to be a happy medium to maintaining without obsessing and still enjoying life and the wonderful flavors of food." Right now, despite the fact that tomorrow will be DAY FRIGGIN SEVEN before I get an "off day", I'm loving life...but weird as it sounds, a large part of the reason I'm loving it is because I'm lean and fit and like the way my body looks and feels.

Imagine being the size you were when you were 9 months preggo, then add about 25lbs to that, plus make yourself really flabby because you didn't have a history of weight training.....even if everything else in your life were exactly the same - would you be just as happy? I wasn't. I was one very unhappy female.

That's kinda been my trade-off. To a degree, although I'm working on minimizing it, I'm always going to have to be a wee bit obessive about my food/exercise...and I'm always going to have more days than not when I really, really want a piece of pie but have to say no, or turn down drink #2, or have to force myself to get up at the butt crack of dawn and go run. That's the price I gotta pay, today, next year, next decade, forever - not to achieve the body I want - but just to continue to maintain it.

It sucks, I may have to take a mini-break from it once in a blue moon, but I really only have two choices 1) suck up the "pain" required to stay lean and fit or 2) get tired of it, say WTF, and get fat again and then stay that way cause I swear I do not have the energy to lose all that weight again.
 
Had to do the fitday thing (again) because I veered too far off template (again) for it to be useable. Looking at my cals I'm wondering why I thought I was eating so much...cause even with the inclusion of a piece of cake it still doesn't amount to 1600..or it could just be that I was eating a lot but now that I know I'm gonna have to account for it in writing at the end of the day, I'm unconciously dialing it down. I guess I really don't care. I'm not hungry, satisfied with macros for the most part, and realize I need to start getting some more fruit in (haven't been able to make it to the grocery store in over a week is what's up with that).

Beans, black,
Beef steak
Cappuccino
Eggplant, raw
Olive oil
Sweetpotato, candied
Tomato puree
Turnip greens
protein bar
Pork roast
Salmon patty
Cake, marble, without icing
Crackers, saltines,
Cantaloupe (muskmelon), raw

Total: 1528
Fat: 62 557 37%
Sat: 21 191 13%
Poly: 8 73 5%
Mono: 25 224 15%
Carbs: 110 368 24%
Fiber: 18 0 0%
Protein: 114 454 30%
 
No need to either count the cals or check the template on this one - just list the foods for accountability (sorta following a promise to myself 'bout this)....

First (and possibly last for a while) day off in what feels like a decade...spent 10% shopping & replentishing kitchen with healthy supplies....20% munching from a semi-reclined position like some fat old pasha, 70% sleeping - and I mean sleeping hard.

popcorn
almonds
honey
cappucino
merlot
grapes
protein bar
tangerine
 
cym said:
"There's got to be a happy medium to maintaining without obsessing and still enjoying life and the wonderful flavors of food." Right now, despite the fact that tomorrow will be DAY FRIGGIN SEVEN before I get an "off day", I'm loving life...but weird as it sounds, a large part of the reason I'm loving it is because I'm lean and fit and like the way my body looks and feels.

Imagine being the size you were when you were 9 months preggo, then add about 25lbs to that, plus make yourself really flabby because you didn't have a history of weight training.....even if everything else in your life were exactly the same - would you be just as happy? I wasn't. I was one very unhappy female.

That's kinda been my trade-off. To a degree, although I'm working on minimizing it, I'm always going to have to be a wee bit obessive about my food/exercise...and I'm always going to have more days than not when I really, really want a piece of pie but have to say no, or turn down drink #2, or have to force myself to get up at the butt crack of dawn and go run. That's the price I gotta pay, today, next year, next decade, forever - not to achieve the body I want - but just to continue to maintain it.

It sucks, I may have to take a mini-break from it once in a blue moon, but I really only have two choices 1) suck up the "pain" required to stay lean and fit or 2) get tired of it, say WTF, and get fat again and then stay that way cause I swear I do not have the energy to lose all that weight again.
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Hey, Cym -- good to see you again. I took a month off myself. What you wrote here describes my feelings exactly, except the "lean" part. Fit - yeah, I think I'm pretty fit, but "lean" - no that's definitely not me, yet.

But I've stopped counting calories too. In fact I've pretty much stopped all my obsesssive measuring, though I still do weigh myself daily. I have managed to maintain my weight, which has made me happy.

Hope you're doing well!
 
TomO said:
In fact I've pretty much stopped all my obsesssive measuring, though I still do weigh myself daily. I have managed to maintain my weight, which has made me happy.

!
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Hiya Tom: I need to come troll your diary soon, but meanwhile, let me say that I totally understood your daily focus on the seeming minutiae - it served it's purpose and at this point you know enough, and are comfortable enough to let go of the parts you don't need while keeping the parts you do need. Never struck me in the least as obsessive - just you not only doing what worked for you, but being disciplined enough to do it consistently.

A general thought - more like a rant - about being "obsessive"...... cause I've heard that word directed to me so many times by those near and dear to me..... I think I started to believe it 'cause so many people who didn't need to, or didn't chose to do what I did, felt it necessary to apply it to me so often: "Damn girl, you're so obsessive"........But, since you can't really pull an obsessive person off the object of their obsession without a crowbar, I ignored the little voices (no, not the ones in my head - I like those LOL) and kept on with my little researching and sorting ideas and data gathering and measuring and counting and recording etc. until the time I was ready to let go, in the way I was ready to let go, with the provision that any/all of my little obsessive behaviors could be brought back onboard when/if needed.

And to me, the proof is in the pudding. Of everyone I know who at one point or another used the "O" word: 1) some of the thin people who've never struggled with weight issues yet felt strangely free to comment (sometimes daily) on my being obsessive are no longer quite so thin themselves anymore (I'm trying to pretend I care) 2) ALL of the fat people who were even quicker to throw that term around and suggest I "lighten up" are still either overweight or have lost a bunch of weight and gained it (plus more) back. (I'm trying even harder to pretend I care) Meanwhile, my obsessive little ass still fits quite nicely into a tiny little pair of Junior's jeans.

I probably sound like a total bitch, but with the exception of my "sisters" (in love, not blood), for some reason (and I still don't know/understand why) the fact that I transformed my body, sustained the change, and my method of doing it have been under continual scrutiny and commentary by friends, relatives, co-workers (ex) for a long, long time - and it gets old.
 
Big, big difference between "counting calories" by 1) adding stuff up as I go along all day and trying to reach/not exceed a specific target and 2) just tossing everything into fitday at end of the day and seeing what totals fall out. The first is an ongoing pain in the butt that makes me feel like I'm in perpetual "diet mode" - the second is 15 min. "no brainer" that's no more time consuming that balancing my checking account at the end of the day. I can keep rolling with it indefinitely.

Knowing I'm going to be accountable in writing for it at the end of the day does seem to be a buffer against "random" eating. At least twice found myself deciding not to eat something stupid just because I knew I didn't want to see it on show up on my food list at the end of the day....maybe that's why "daily food recording" in on the list 21 habits common to sucessful long term maintainers.

Since protein bars seem to be at least one daily "meal of choice" might as well make up a 2 week supply that will a) taste better and b) have less crap in them then the processed crap I'm currently buying.

Thursday
Almonds
Beef steak
Cabbage, green
Cappuccino
Mango, raw
Pork roast
Sweetpotato
Turnip greens,
protein bar (x2)
Pie, apple
Lima beans
Grapes
Carrots

Total: 1951
Fat: 79 712 36%
Sat: 30 267 14%
Poly: 10 94 5%
Mono: 28 252 13%
Carbs: 133 441 23%
Fiber: 23 0 0%
Protein: 137 549 28%
Alcohol: 36 255 13%
 
cym said:
And to me, the proof is in the pudding. Of everyone I know who at one point or another used the "O" word: 1) some of the thin people who've never struggled with weight issues yet felt strangely free to comment (sometimes daily) on my being obsessive are no longer quite so thin themselves anymore (I'm trying to pretend I care) 2) ALL of the fat people who were even quicker to throw that term around and suggest I "lighten up" are still either overweight or have lost a bunch of weight and gained it (plus more) back. (I'm trying even harder to pretend I care) Meanwhile, my obsessive little ass still fits quite nicely into a tiny little pair of Junior's jeans.

I probably sound like a total bitch, but with the exception of my "sisters" (in love, not blood), for some reason (and I still don't know/understand why) the fact that I transformed my body, sustained the change, and my method of doing it have been under continual scrutiny and commentary by friends, relatives, co-workers (ex) for a long, long time - and it gets old.
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The proof IS in the pudding and they are all probably jealous ass haters, so whatever! I think you are "conscious" and "conscientious" :)
 
Hey GC: yea, probably a little bit of that "jealous hater" thing, but in my calm, rational, non-venting moments I recognize that the whole issue of weight is really screwed up in most of us, especially women, and I understand (don't like but understand) the mindset where a lot of the bs has come from.

Not happy with the totals & slightly surprised at how far over maint cals I went, double-sucks 'cause we're going out to movies/dinner/club tonight and now I have to be much, much better than I had planned to be - but, guess I should have thought about that yesterday when I was munching the pb & crackers instead of whining about it today when I'll be ordering the veggie platter & sucking down water instead of wine.

Almonds
Beef steak,
Broccoli
Cappuccino
Mango
Olive oil
Rice, brown
protein bar x2
Popcorn
Peanut butter
Saltines
Tangerine
Blueberries
Cottage Cheese
Yogurt
Pudding/sf/ff

Total: 2151
Fat: 81 727 34%
Sat: 25 222 10%
Poly: 10 90 4%
Mono: 36 324 15%
Carbs: 193 658 31%
Fiber: 29 0 0%
Protein: 130 519 24%
Alcohol: 32 229 11%
 
cym said:
It sucks, I may have to take a mini-break from it once in a blue moon, but I really only have two choices 1) suck up the "pain" required to stay lean and fit or 2) get tired of it, say WTF, and get fat again and then stay that way cause I swear I do not have the energy to lose all that weight again.
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I believe fat begets fat. Fat spews out hormones that increase hunger and mess up the metabolism, which puts overweight people in a vicious cycle of fat causing more fat. So I think you can relax to a certain degree, that it wont be as easy to gain all that weight again. Plus I just can't picture you, the way you are now, going into a buffet and filling up 3 times like you may have in the past (you have been more truthful than most in telling us about some of your former eating habits).

You may (or may not) be happier if you allow yourself a slightly higher, but still attractive and healthy, set point. I'm not sure what size you are, but you may look just as good or sometimes better one size larger yet its far easier to maintain something a bit higher. Sometimes just an extra 5 pounds allows a few more treats and an easier ability to maintain without being incredibly strict, but still careful and health conscious.
 
You may (or may not) be happier if you allow yourself a slightly higher, but still attractive and healthy, set point. I'm not sure what size you are, but you may look just as good or sometimes better one size larger yet its far easier to maintain something a bit higher. Sometimes just an extra 5 pounds allows a few more treats and an easier ability to maintain without being incredibly strict, but still careful and health conscious.
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Hey Cita! Funny you say that, 'cause I've thought pretty much the same thing...truthfully an extra 5-6 pounds is not going to make a huge visable difference (I don't imagine) in either appearance or maybe even clothes size at this point....but would give me a wee bit more flexibility in food choices...which would be nice. Here's the kicker though, which I will freely admit: for the FIRST time in my life I love the way I look naked:jump: as much as when fully clothed. I find that an embarrassing admission...but what the hell - there it is. For a chick with practically life long body image "issues" that's such a amazing feeling that it kinda makes the "there will be no dessert for you tonight Missy...now get off your ass and go for a run" choices worth it. I can't explain it other than to say I've "got" something I've never had before, and maybe I'm just scared to screw around with it.

This has nothing to do with my yesterday's food choices but I feel compelled to say that I wasted 90 mins. of my life watching the worst movie ever...."30 Days"...yea, it felt like 30 years of boredom.

Almonds
Beef steak
Blueberries
Broccoli
Cheese, cottage
Olive oil
Popcorn
Yogurt, plain, whole milk
Pork Rib-B-Q with Barbecue Sauce
White potato, french fries
Merlot
Pudding, sf/ff


Total: 1577
Fat: 77 696 46%
Sat: 20 178 12%
Poly: 11 96 6%
Mono: 41 366 24%
Carbs: 115 382 25%
Fiber: 19 0 0%
Protein: 93 371 24%
Alcohol: 10 68 4%
 
Maybe it's because I'm a bigger control freak than I realized. Maybe it's because I'm just a walking/talking contadiction who doesn't know my own mind. Maybe it's because I'm just entering the info and not over-analyzing it or making attempts to micro-manage the details. Maybe..... I don't know.

I just know that I just suddenly realized, that despite all my bitchin' and moanin' about "I don't want to count calories/I don't want to list my food"....Now that I seem to have "fallen" into the habit of doing both again I kinda like it:eek:...whether my choices were good/bad or indifferent, I'm actually liking this end of the day moment when I look at the totals and go "okay, that's what I ate today". And, partly, I'm seeing that, if I really do want to keep a more flexable approach to my daily choices without paying the price on the scale, I kinda do have to count calories......Looking at my totals from Friday let me know I needed to be "good" (for lack of a better word) last night instead of the mini-splurge I had planned....but, looking at my calorie totals for today (not planned, just ended up pretty low) lets me know that, if I chose tommorow, I will have leeway to say "yes" to something nice but naughty without worrying about it. :)

Good Lord, have I stumbled my way into some kind of balance? Knowing me, it's doubful, but I'm rolling with it for a while longer.

Beef steak
Blueberries
Broccoli
Cappuccino
Cheese, cottage
Tangerine
Yogurt, plain, whole milk
protein bar
Couscous
Pine nuts
Cheese, Parmesan
Pudding, sugarfree/fat free
Buckwheat

Total: 1463
Fat: 42 381 26%
Sat: 22 198 14%
Poly: 3 23 2%
Mono: 11 99 7%
Carbs: 118 414 29%
Fiber: 14 0 0%
Protein: 129 518 36%
Alcohol: 18 127 9%
 
cym said:
for the FIRST time in my life I love the way I look naked:jump: as much as when fully clothed.
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That is a BEAUTIFUL thing! :D

cym said:
Now that I seem to have "fallen" into the habit of doing both again I kinda like it:eek:...whether my choices were good/bad or indifferent, I'm actually liking this end of the day moment when I look at the totals and go "okay, that's what I ate today".
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That's excellent! It's part of being mindful, and yes, balanced. You're a blessed woman, CYM!
 
Taking today off because it's going to be a long working week-end. Gonna take the opportunity to make protein bars...I know for 300 cals I can make something a lot healthier and tastier than what I'm buying.

And, totally OTC but I feel like writing it down: my boss is a friggin perverted lecherous old man in desperate & urgent need of getting laid - but not by me......and the next time he invades my personal space and sidles up to me to whisper one of his stupid perverted lecherous comments "What would happen if I just picked you and ran out the door with you" I'm going to "accidently" spill something painfully hot and sticky on his lower region. I am. I swear I am.

Beef steak
Cabbage
Cappuccino
Pine nuts
Rice, brown
protein bar
Broccoli
Pork ribs, bb'q
Sweetpotato
Pie, blackberry
Apple

Total: 1746
Fat: 70 630 37%
Sat: 25 227 13%
Poly: 11 99 6%
Mono: 25 225 13%
Carbs: 157 544 32%
Fiber: 22 0 0%
Protein: 103 410 24%
Alcohol: 18 127 7%
 
Val: naw, too late now to play the shocked innocent maiden cause, partly my bad for encouraging him & responding with some fairly off color remarks myself when I thought he was just joking 'cause I have a very non-pc sense of humor...only just recently realized that one of us is not kidding......

not gonna bother with the fitday thing 'cause I'm in more need of hitting my bed and getting some sleep than getting an exact cal count...plus I'm pretty sure that even though the nutrition aspect was in the toilet the cals aren't over maint...so just the foods for accountablility with my personal guesstimate of the cals:

PB & crackers: 220
Cheese & crackers: 220
Pistachios:150
Popcorn: 400 (I had a lot)
Olive Oil: 200
Tangerine: 60
Coucous: 200
Pine Nuts: 50
Cappucino: 100
Beefsteak (actually it's thin strips of very lean Koren style beef and courtesy of a friend I have 8 million tons of it so will be eating for the next 80 years): 300
Spinach: 25
Whole Milk, plain, yogurt: 75
protein bar: 300
So, somewhere around 2100....it'll do lil' piglet, it'll do.
 
cym said:
Val: naw, too late now to play the shocked innocent maiden cause, partly my bad for encouraging him & responding with some fairly off color remarks myself when I thought he was just joking 'cause I have a very non-pc sense of humor...only just recently realized that one of us is not kidding
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Been there. Me too, and understood. Men! I said it before and I'll say it a thousand times, you give them an inch, they fucking walk all over:banghead:
 
being anal in the face of planned gluttony

Our Halloween "treat" was attending a very lovely "tasters" menu thrown by a local high end bakery. The "trick" was figuring out how to "pig out" without "pigging out".

I know pretty exactly what "one cup" looks like cause I've been measuring it out so long. So the plan was to fill my little plate with a sliver of this and a dab of that of assorted goodies to amount to a total of "one cup". I picked one cup as the target 'cause I knew that one cup of two-crust blackberry pie is 600 cals.

Had a decent, well balanced dinner about an hour before hand so I could enjoy the experience without the edge of hunger motivating me to go beyond my pre-planned one cup limit. I got a little delicious taste (like or two small bites) of several goodies. Stuck to stuff that was truly special/out of the ordinary - heck I already know what cookie tastes like. How anal is anal? Well I know what carrot cake tastes like and don't care for it that much, so had zero hesitation over just going for a "dollop" of the icing only (which I looooove).

Had a mini- meal of hi protein/hi fiber meal after coming home just to make sure all that concentrated sugar wouldn't later set off my "feed me more, more, more" bells.

The thing is, I totally, 100% enjoyed myself - my little anal planning in no way detracted from the experience.....if anything it allowed me to totally relax and enjoy it....both in the moment and without any "dieters regret" hanging over my head today.:hurray:


Apple, raw
Beef steak
Cappuccino
Olive oil
Desserts: taster's menu
Pine nuts
Rice, brown
Sweetpotato
Yogurt, plain, whole milk
Lima Beans
Turnip greens
Spinach
Eggs, whole

Total: 2152 - probably not exact, but well within the ballpark.
 
rest weeK: Thursday-Tuesday....stayin under 1800 till next Wens....

Total: 1532

Apple
Blueberries
Buckwheat
Cheese, Parmesan, dry grated
puddings Fat Free Sugar Free
Olive oil
Rice, brown
Spinach
Yogurt, plain, whole milk
Chicken
Cappuccino
 
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