It's all about me
- Thread starter cym
- Start date
So, I'm at the bank this morning, filling out my little white slip and when I wrote down the date it hit me outta nowhere - today marks the day I can say "officially" that I am now entering my 2ND YEAR OF MAINTAINING a 60+ pound weight loss!!!!!!!!
In fact, I actually weigh a little bit less than I did this time last year. I almost peed my pants and did a little two-step right then and there!! This is soooo friggin huge for me - unprecedented in my roller coaster ride over the years - I had to come home and just think about it for a little while and let my fingers do the keyboard walk to organize my thoughts.
Normally at this point, following my usual well worn pattern I would have already regained some weight at this point and be doing one of two things: 1) overeating again and not really exercising on a regular basis but struggling to "get back on track" or 2) "letting go completely" and just burying my head in the sand for a couple more years before starting all over.
How come this time the "dots connected"? And my head is saying "Because darlin', you finally, finally made the Mind/Body/Behavior connection". And that feels like a truth to me. The weight loss itself was inevitable: I counted calories, ate at a fairly consistent deficit and exercised 5-6 days a week with a mix between weight and cardio - - my body is not "special" or "different" - under those circumstances of course I lost weight! I've done that so many damn times it was nice but familiar.
But the keeping it off - every single friggin pound of it...and seeing a future stretching in front of me where staying at a lean weight becomes the "norm" for me...ahhh, that's just sweeeeet.
Mind/Body/Behavior...not willpower, not "clean" vs. "processed" foods, not any particular thing or things I could have made a list of for myself to follow...only finally making that connection between the three. And it's still somewhat a tangle in my mind - because in daily life I think they are so interconnected it's impossible to separate....at different points I think each has more/less control/influence over the other - but they always, always operate in tandem. I know in the past my number one focus has been on controlling one aspect totally "the body", a sorta of half-assed attempt of controlling "the behavior" (and that only as far it directly affected weight loss (i.e. counting calories, burn so many calories with exercise, etc) and little if any attempt at controlling "the mind". And never considering that the three worked in tandem. Ummm, what a success that approach was!
And, here's the one example that I'm thinking that puts it in total perspective for me...though heaven knows with my little OCD brain I'll be turning this idea over all week-end in my head......
I can go to a bar after work, have a single beer and a little single serving bag of baked chips or pretzels and be happy and satisfied with zero thoughts of "I want another bag"...If I'm actually hungry I don't think "another bag" but "need to order real food".... but if that same bag (only in the 2lb size) were in my kitchen and I was home alone, hungry or not, it would drive me nuts until I'd gone back for more and more and eventually had an empty bag taunting me with my lack of willpower.
And what makes sense to me is the only time I've ever eaten those little single serving bags is in a non-bingy setting...my mind sees that little bag and the only previous behavior associated with it is "eat one, be happy and satisfied"....but ever since I've been a little kid, a big bag of snacks in the house meant dive in and demolish...half the time we were already munchin on the chips as the rest of the groceries were still being put away....so now when I open the cupboard and see a big bag of chips, no matter what my conscious intentions may be, I have 20+ years of previous behavior associated with "open bag, sit down and eat 'em all".
I can only say I'm getting the connection...still putting it together...but actually getting it...as I "officially" move into YEAR TWO OF MAINTAINING.
In fact, I actually weigh a little bit less than I did this time last year. I almost peed my pants and did a little two-step right then and there!! This is soooo friggin huge for me - unprecedented in my roller coaster ride over the years - I had to come home and just think about it for a little while and let my fingers do the keyboard walk to organize my thoughts.Normally at this point, following my usual well worn pattern I would have already regained some weight at this point and be doing one of two things: 1) overeating again and not really exercising on a regular basis but struggling to "get back on track" or 2) "letting go completely" and just burying my head in the sand for a couple more years before starting all over.
How come this time the "dots connected"? And my head is saying "Because darlin', you finally, finally made the Mind/Body/Behavior connection". And that feels like a truth to me. The weight loss itself was inevitable: I counted calories, ate at a fairly consistent deficit and exercised 5-6 days a week with a mix between weight and cardio - - my body is not "special" or "different" - under those circumstances of course I lost weight! I've done that so many damn times it was nice but familiar.
But the keeping it off - every single friggin pound of it...and seeing a future stretching in front of me where staying at a lean weight becomes the "norm" for me...ahhh, that's just sweeeeet.
Mind/Body/Behavior...not willpower, not "clean" vs. "processed" foods, not any particular thing or things I could have made a list of for myself to follow...only finally making that connection between the three. And it's still somewhat a tangle in my mind - because in daily life I think they are so interconnected it's impossible to separate....at different points I think each has more/less control/influence over the other - but they always, always operate in tandem. I know in the past my number one focus has been on controlling one aspect totally "the body", a sorta of half-assed attempt of controlling "the behavior" (and that only as far it directly affected weight loss (i.e. counting calories, burn so many calories with exercise, etc) and little if any attempt at controlling "the mind". And never considering that the three worked in tandem. Ummm, what a success that approach was!
And, here's the one example that I'm thinking that puts it in total perspective for me...though heaven knows with my little OCD brain I'll be turning this idea over all week-end in my head......
I can go to a bar after work, have a single beer and a little single serving bag of baked chips or pretzels and be happy and satisfied with zero thoughts of "I want another bag"...If I'm actually hungry I don't think "another bag" but "need to order real food".... but if that same bag (only in the 2lb size) were in my kitchen and I was home alone, hungry or not, it would drive me nuts until I'd gone back for more and more and eventually had an empty bag taunting me with my lack of willpower.
And what makes sense to me is the only time I've ever eaten those little single serving bags is in a non-bingy setting...my mind sees that little bag and the only previous behavior associated with it is "eat one, be happy and satisfied"....but ever since I've been a little kid, a big bag of snacks in the house meant dive in and demolish...half the time we were already munchin on the chips as the rest of the groceries were still being put away....so now when I open the cupboard and see a big bag of chips, no matter what my conscious intentions may be, I have 20+ years of previous behavior associated with "open bag, sit down and eat 'em all".
I can only say I'm getting the connection...still putting it together...but actually getting it...as I "officially" move into YEAR TWO OF MAINTAINING.
Curvie Girlie
New member
HI CYM! I think this sounds lovely, and it's really the way to think as far as food fueling one's body. I want to be there one day soon, and for the most part I am, but there are days when I eat for pleasure, and while I think that's ok, sometimes it spurns me into eating badly for longer than just a day...so yeah, it's a struggle now. I'm working on myself constantly. Tahnks for coming back for a moment!
Ohhh, the absolute coolest workout in the world this a.m. and I just felt like "documenting" it cause it has the weird feel of a door closing/opening in my head. One of those little things that every now and then reminds me of how far I've come....I need these random moments...and need to "savor" them because I never want to get too complacent...that way leads to "slippage"...
So, lately my work-outs have been kinda of blah...mostly because my time is a bit more limited in the a.m. so I basically don't have time to get in any long runs at all, just a weekly HIIT session cause I can be in and out in 30 mins and 3 days of heavy duty full body lifting...with none of the "fun" but not really necessary little bells and whistles that I kinda enjoy (like stuff on the swiss ball, crunches, etc.).....
Anyway, I'm there this morning and this trainer who has always given me the hardest time (in a good natured way..kinda) during the entire period of my weight loss and beyond ('cause I did - and happily continue to - do it my way - instead of "his way"
) was doing bench press with 70lb dumbells and he says semi-seriously "aren't you impressed?" And I said, totally seriously "shit no, it's only 40lbs total more than I can do...and I'm a girl...and little...and a novice"
So, being the macho muchacho that I guess all men are at heart he grabs a pair of 100lb dumbells and goes "well, would this impress you?" And I'm secretly thinking, a la Whitney "oh, hells to the no!" but I said "yea"...cause I didn't want him to hurt himself. And...here's the cool part....
Not only did the guy who has spent a whole two years clucking over my insistance on lifting heavier than he thought was "safe or advisable" ask me to "spot" him...he then had to sit and listen to my mini-lecture when he was done....cause lecture I did..."
As soon as he finished the set with this big grin on his face expecting me to go "wow" or something, I'm like "well, if you can obviously press 200lbs without that much effort - what's the point of just doing 140lbs and calling it a work-out just because you sweat?" And lecture commenced....
Ohh, it was fun...and priceless...and a neat reminder that I am soooo not the timid, clueless, fluffy, flabby chick who once upon a time tip-toed into the "big boys room" hoping no one would notice me.
So, lately my work-outs have been kinda of blah...mostly because my time is a bit more limited in the a.m. so I basically don't have time to get in any long runs at all, just a weekly HIIT session cause I can be in and out in 30 mins and 3 days of heavy duty full body lifting...with none of the "fun" but not really necessary little bells and whistles that I kinda enjoy (like stuff on the swiss ball, crunches, etc.).....
Anyway, I'm there this morning and this trainer who has always given me the hardest time (in a good natured way..kinda) during the entire period of my weight loss and beyond ('cause I did - and happily continue to - do it my way - instead of "his way"
) was doing bench press with 70lb dumbells and he says semi-seriously "aren't you impressed?" And I said, totally seriously "shit no, it's only 40lbs total more than I can do...and I'm a girl...and little...and a novice"So, being the macho muchacho that I guess all men are at heart he grabs a pair of 100lb dumbells and goes "well, would this impress you?" And I'm secretly thinking, a la Whitney "oh, hells to the no!" but I said "yea"...cause I didn't want him to hurt himself. And...here's the cool part....
Not only did the guy who has spent a whole two years clucking over my insistance on lifting heavier than he thought was "safe or advisable" ask me to "spot" him...he then had to sit and listen to my mini-lecture when he was done....cause lecture I did..."
As soon as he finished the set with this big grin on his face expecting me to go "wow" or something, I'm like "well, if you can obviously press 200lbs without that much effort - what's the point of just doing 140lbs and calling it a work-out just because you sweat?" And lecture commenced....
Ohh, it was fun...and priceless...and a neat reminder that I am soooo not the timid, clueless, fluffy, flabby chick who once upon a time tip-toed into the "big boys room" hoping no one would notice me.
slimmom
New member
So, I'm at the bank this morning, filling out my little white slip and when I wrote down the date it hit me outta nowhere - today marks the day I can say "officially" that I am now entering my 2ND YEAR OF MAINTAINING a 60+ pound weight loss!!!!!!!!
Normally at this point, following my usual well worn pattern I would have already regained some weight at this point and be doing one of two things: 1) overeating again and not really exercising on a regular basis but struggling to "get back on track" or 2) "letting go completely" and just burying my head in the sand for a couple more years before starting all over.
How come this time the "dots connected"? And my head is saying "Because darlin', you finally, finally made the Mind/Body/Behavior connection". And that feels like a truth to me. The weight loss itself was inevitable: I counted calories, ate at a fairly consistent deficit and exercised 5-6 days a week with a mix between weight and cardio - - my body is not "special" or "different" - under those circumstances of course I lost weight! I've done that so many damn times it was nice but familiar.
But the keeping it off - every single friggin pound of it...and seeing a future stretching in front of me where staying at a lean weight becomes the "norm" for me...ahhh, that's just sweeeeet.
Mind/Body/Behavior...not willpower, not "clean" vs. "processed" foods, not any particular thing or things I could have made a list of for myself to follow...only finally making that connection between the three. And it's still somewhat a tangle in my mind - because in daily life I think they are so interconnected it's impossible to separate....at different points I think each has more/less control/influence over the other - but they always, always operate in tandem. I know in the past my number one focus has been on controlling one aspect totally "the body", a sorta of half-assed attempt of controlling "the behavior" (and that only as far it directly affected weight loss (i.e. counting calories, burn so many calories with exercise, etc) and little if any attempt at controlling "the mind". And never considering that the three worked in tandem. Ummm, what a success that approach was!
And, here's the one example that I'm thinking that puts it in total perspective for me...though heaven knows with my little OCD brain I'll be turning this idea over all week-end in my head......
I can go to a bar after work, have a single beer and a little single serving bag of baked chips or pretzels and be happy and satisfied with zero thoughts of "I want another bag"...If I'm actually hungry I don't think "another bag" but "need to order real food".... but if that same bag (only in the 2lb size) were in my kitchen and I was home alone, hungry or not, it would drive me nuts until I'd gone back for more and more and eventually had an empty bag taunting me with my lack of willpower.
And what makes sense to me is the only time I've ever eaten those little single serving bags is in a non-bingy setting...my mind sees that little bag and the only previous behavior associated with it is "eat one, be happy and satisfied"....but ever since I've been a little kid, a big bag of snacks in the house meant dive in and demolish...half the time we were already munchin on the chips as the rest of the groceries were still being put away....so now when I open the cupboard and see a big bag of chips, no matter what my conscious intentions may be, I have 20+ years of previous behavior associated with "open bag, sit down and eat 'em all".
I can only say I'm getting the connection...still putting it together...but actually getting it...as I "officially" move into YEAR TWO OF MAINTAINING.
Congratulations on two years of maintaining and accessing your own bright future of a slim, healthy Cym! That's awesome!
On the one hand you could say "food disinhibition" and my 99% healthy diet has gone to hell
...on the other hand you could say I'm testing my bounderies and finding a balance between "sustainable for life" and "sustainable for now"...I chose to say it's the latter, but time will tell.
So, first I had 2 SLICES OF VEGGIE PIZZA a couple weeks ago....my taste buds were in heaven but my gut rebelled, within less than two hours you'd think I'd taken one of those Allie tabs....as my body decided to get rid of all the fat as quickly and explosively as possible (and, at the risk of TMI, with little "leaks" for a bit afterward...ewwww)...not a fun experience and now I can't even think about pizza (or anything really greasy) without getting a little nauseated.
Second, (not in the same day, or even week) I thought I'd see how I reacted to pure sugar in the form a piece of New York Style cheesecake. 1. I only managed to get down about 1/3 or less before I felt too stuffed to continue (it was after dinner), 2. it didn't taste nearly as good as I remembered...too icky sweet and cloying...funny, I remembered it as tasting like a little slice of heaven 3. to my great shock it did not set up any kind of cravings more carbs or sugar later in the evening...just left an unpleasent kind of too full feeling that lasted through the night.
Third, THERE IS A BIG OL BAG OF NACHOS ON MY KITCHEN COUNTER! They are for a "thing" I'm having over the week-end. They've been sitting there for two days, unmolested and unloved...even when the middle of night "munchies" hit last night they got ignored in favor of a fat crunchy apple.
So far I'm learning that:
just like my body "lost" the capacity to handle alcohol, it seems to have "lost" the ability to digest overly fatty foods....
I actually enjoy the concoctions I make with sugarfree jello, nuts and plain yogurt a lot more than real cheesecake....
I can keep "junk" in the house afterall without triggering the "eat me" monster....
Eventually, if I keep this up, I will run into a food demon that outsmarts me and will land me firmly on my butt....
but I wanna know, really know, what's the occassional indugence I can handle without consequences...and what's the line in the sand.
...on the other hand you could say I'm testing my bounderies and finding a balance between "sustainable for life" and "sustainable for now"...I chose to say it's the latter, but time will tell.So, first I had 2 SLICES OF VEGGIE PIZZA a couple weeks ago....my taste buds were in heaven but my gut rebelled, within less than two hours you'd think I'd taken one of those Allie tabs....as my body decided to get rid of all the fat as quickly and explosively as possible (and, at the risk of TMI, with little "leaks" for a bit afterward...ewwww)...not a fun experience and now I can't even think about pizza (or anything really greasy) without getting a little nauseated.
Second, (not in the same day, or even week) I thought I'd see how I reacted to pure sugar in the form a piece of New York Style cheesecake. 1. I only managed to get down about 1/3 or less before I felt too stuffed to continue (it was after dinner), 2. it didn't taste nearly as good as I remembered...too icky sweet and cloying...funny, I remembered it as tasting like a little slice of heaven 3. to my great shock it did not set up any kind of cravings more carbs or sugar later in the evening...just left an unpleasent kind of too full feeling that lasted through the night.
Third, THERE IS A BIG OL BAG OF NACHOS ON MY KITCHEN COUNTER! They are for a "thing" I'm having over the week-end. They've been sitting there for two days, unmolested and unloved...even when the middle of night "munchies" hit last night they got ignored in favor of a fat crunchy apple.
So far I'm learning that:
just like my body "lost" the capacity to handle alcohol, it seems to have "lost" the ability to digest overly fatty foods....
I actually enjoy
the concoctions I make with sugarfree jello, nuts and plain yogurt a lot more than real cheesecake....I can keep "junk" in the house afterall without triggering the "eat me" monster....
Eventually, if I keep this up, I will run into a food demon that outsmarts me and will land me firmly on my butt....
but I wanna know, really know, what's the occassional indugence I can handle without consequences...and what's the line in the sand.
Miss Ladybug
New member
It's really good to see you post today!! And even better to know that your still on the move! My body did the same thing as yours when I tried to bring back crap I used to eat, it made me sick! Which I guess is a good thing, because I really don't need it and well my body is telling me that even though my brain is saying another. It will sure keep you from going over the edge so to speak, and well that's what you've been training it to do all these years anyways, so isn't your body paying attention or what?? 
I get REALLY BAD cramps when I try to use flavored creamer in my coffee, OH NO that doubles me over in pain now, can't do it anymore. Now I just use fat free half/half if I want to and that works fine. SO, how's that garden coming along? Any pretty flowers blooming?? PICTURES!!!! Have a great day!
Kim
I get REALLY BAD cramps when I try to use flavored creamer in my coffee, OH NO that doubles me over in pain now, can't do it anymore. Now I just use fat free half/half if I want to and that works fine. SO, how's that garden coming along? Any pretty flowers blooming?? PICTURES!!!! Have a great day!Kim
well, it was hella fun while it lasted!!!
After two years of being 100% engaged in the process of losing weight and maintaining that loss I took a break. At first it wasn't intentional, life just became temporarily crazy, and then it did become a conscious, purposeful decision. I wanted/needed a mini-vacation from thinking about calories, measuring & weighing food, portion sizes and always opting for the best nutrient/calorie choice. I wanted to occasionally eat a damn piece of pie or blow off a work-out without feeling like the sky would fall. So I did. And it was gooooooood. And the sky did not fall.
But, reality being the bitch that she is, I can't do that forever without paying the price in terms of health/fitness/weight control. Plus I gained two pounds. I'm not sweating the two pounds "extra"...but I know it's got to go before it becomes 20.
Actually, I'm feelin pretty damn good. I've continued to lift heavy through out my little "hiatus" - the work-outs I chose to blow off were always cardio (imagine that) and my lifts have actually improved. And, even though I was in the mental frame of mind that I was gonna just eat whatever I damn well pleased - 90% of the time what I ended up wanting werewell balanced healthy meals...and the 10% of time when I wanted (and ate) junk never turned out to be a binge.
But the time has come. I'm getting my ass back into a regular routine of weights/cardio, cleaning up the diet (no mo' ho-ho's) and journaling my daily food intake for personal accountability. But I'm also cutting myself a little more slack along this journey.
After two years of being 100% engaged in the process of losing weight and maintaining that loss I took a break. At first it wasn't intentional, life just became temporarily crazy, and then it did become a conscious, purposeful decision. I wanted/needed a mini-vacation from thinking about calories, measuring & weighing food, portion sizes and always opting for the best nutrient/calorie choice. I wanted to occasionally eat a damn piece of pie or blow off a work-out without feeling like the sky would fall. So I did. And it was gooooooood. And the sky did not fall.
But, reality being the bitch that she is, I can't do that forever without paying the price in terms of health/fitness/weight control. Plus I gained two pounds.
I'm not sweating the two pounds "extra"...but I know it's got to go before it becomes 20. Actually, I'm feelin pretty damn good. I've continued to lift heavy through out my little "hiatus" - the work-outs I chose to blow off were always cardio (imagine that) and my lifts have actually improved. And, even though I was in the mental frame of mind that I was gonna just eat whatever I damn well pleased - 90% of the time what I ended up wanting werewell balanced healthy meals...and the 10% of time when I wanted (and ate) junk never turned out to be a binge.
But the time has come. I'm getting my ass back into a regular routine of weights/cardio, cleaning up the diet (no mo' ho-ho's) and journaling my daily food intake for personal accountability. But I'm also cutting myself a little more slack along this journey.
Hey Cym, nice to hear from you again . I think you've done an excellent job in minimizing the obsessive aspect of this that most of us share. I dont think its healthy to be so strict that you can't EVER miss a workout or eat something decedent without feeling guilty. On the other hand, all in moderation which it sounds like you've achieved. And its definitely worth nipping any extra pounds in the bud. TTYL
. I think you've done an excellent job in minimizing the obsessive aspect of this that most of us share. I dont think its healthy to be so strict that you can't EVER miss a workout or eat something decedent without feeling guilty. On the other hand, all in moderation which it sounds like you've achieved. And its definitely worth nipping any extra pounds in the bud. TTYL Curvie Girlie
New member
WOW you're back! I had started posting at the end of the day with the amount of calories as the subject, like you used to, and thought, "I wonder what's up with CYM?" We all admired you so much, we're looking forward to hearing more. You sound like you're in a great place, either way, but "cleaning up" is always good.
Are you 127 lbs now?
Are you 127 lbs now?
Miss Ladybug
New member
Hey Stranger!! Good to see your time off was a good one!! we missed you around here, but we know everyone needs to take a break! By the way, did you get much done with the garden??? I think you must have your mind trained well, thus the reason you ate healthy over half the time you were on a time off mode so to speak, it's just second nature for you to eat well now and it will probably continue that way for the remainder of your life, as long as you don't go nuts or something like that. LOL Great job on keeping up with the strength training, I'm sure you still look fantastic. Have a great rest of your week!
Kim
Great job on keeping up with the strength training, I'm sure you still look fantastic. Have a great rest of your week!Kim
Reluctantly pulling my head outta my navel with a big POP!
CG: No idea. 125...126...127....? TOM reared it's ugly head the same day I posted that and it's useless weighing again until it passes...it's entirely possible that the stupid 2lbs was just due to that anyway...but at any rate seeing a higher number when I wasn't expecting it kinda made me go "uh oh" and reassess.
Kim: Oh, my poor little flower garden. For this brief moment in time it was glorious...seriously beautiful with everything in bloom complete with butterflies fliting around. Then it started raining...and it rained for about 7-8 days straight - buckets and buckets...in one 24h period it rained so much we actually had some serious flooding. They didn't like that much and now they're in "recovery" mode. About the mind being well trained. Well, that's sad and funny at the same time. Cause even though there's no caloric guilt in my head about munching a random piece of pie (for some reason it's just pie that really calls me), there is this little voice that says "okay, it tastes good, but remember, sugar is inflammatory on the cellular level" with every friggin bite.
Blancita: Moderation .... yeah, well that's one of those concepts I've never quite grasped. I guess that's what I'm needing to work on...I'm looking at the really big pic here...this is THE REST OF MY LIFE...I know it's always going to be a kind of juggling act...I just keep trying to figure out how many balls, and which ones, I can keep in air at the same time
AND NOW FOR MORE SNIVELING ABOUT NEEDING TO GET BACK ON TRACK
I'm not really even worried about getting fat again. Because the truth is I'm too damn vain to allow that to happen. Seriously, I am and that's the shameful truth. After too many years of being "the fat funny friend" I am now just inordinately conscious of, and overly vain about, being one the smallest chicks in my particular pack - and that'll keep me in line for years to come.
I'm just thinking (scale weight aside) about what I want/need to do long term. I'm very, very disinclined to return to calorie counting. Unless I'm eating a lot of crap every day it's not even necessary 'cause there's only a certain amount of food my tummy can even hold anymore at one time anyway...I get full insanely fast....it's ain't like the old days when I could literally pack away half a pie (with ice cream) following a full dinner...it's more like choosing to eat a teeny amount of real food at dinner 'cause I want to leave room for a slice of pie afterwards....Stupid.
The thing is, by not writing down my food, I'm not really as aware as I'd like to be about what's going into my body on a regular basis....am I getting enough protein?...too much satfat?...enough nutrients? yada yada. I'm serious about being wanting to be healthy, not just a small size and unhealthy.
I know, I guess, what I need to do. My ass really needs to start running again on a regular basis. I could happily (but obviously wouldn't) lift every day of the week and twice on Sunday...but here lately running just bores the crap outta me. Just like the idea of recording my food (in any format) bores the crap outta me.
Okay, pulling my head outta my navel long enough to make a plan - even if it sorta sucks.
1) Weigh when TOM's over and see if I've actually gained weight. If so, bite the bullet and count cals, eat at a deficit 'till it's gone.
2) Go back to running twice a week, or one run plus one HIIT whether I want to or not.
3) Start listing my food...not going to bother recording the portion sizes/cals right now, but starting Monday I'm going to just start listing the food choices themselves - good or bad - on a daily basis.
CG: No idea. 125...126...127....? TOM reared it's ugly head the same day I posted that and it's useless weighing again until it passes...it's entirely possible that the stupid 2lbs was just due to that anyway...but at any rate seeing a higher number when I wasn't expecting it kinda made me go "uh oh" and reassess.
Kim: Oh, my poor little flower garden. For this brief moment in time it was glorious...seriously beautiful with everything in bloom complete with butterflies fliting around. Then it started raining...and it rained for about 7-8 days straight - buckets and buckets...in one 24h period it rained so much we actually had some serious flooding. They didn't like that much and now they're in "recovery" mode. About the mind being well trained. Well, that's sad and funny at the same time. Cause even though there's no caloric guilt in my head about munching a random piece of pie (for some reason it's just pie that really calls me), there is this little voice that says "okay, it tastes good, but remember, sugar is inflammatory on the cellular level" with every friggin bite.
Blancita: Moderation .... yeah, well that's one of those concepts I've never quite grasped. I guess that's what I'm needing to work on...I'm looking at the really big pic here...this is THE REST OF MY LIFE...I know it's always going to be a kind of juggling act...I just keep trying to figure out how many balls, and which ones, I can keep in air at the same time
AND NOW FOR MORE SNIVELING ABOUT NEEDING TO GET BACK ON TRACK
I'm not really even worried about getting fat again. Because the truth is I'm too damn vain to allow that to happen. Seriously, I am and that's the shameful truth. After too many years of being "the fat funny friend" I am now just inordinately conscious of, and overly vain about, being one the smallest chicks in my particular pack - and that'll keep me in line for years to come.
I'm just thinking (scale weight aside) about what I want/need to do long term. I'm very, very disinclined to return to calorie counting. Unless I'm eating a lot of crap every day it's not even necessary 'cause there's only a certain amount of food my tummy can even hold anymore at one time anyway...I get full insanely fast....it's ain't like the old days when I could literally pack away half a pie (with ice cream) following a full dinner...it's more like choosing to eat a teeny amount of real food at dinner 'cause I want to leave room for a slice of pie afterwards....Stupid.
The thing is, by not writing down my food, I'm not really as aware as I'd like to be about what's going into my body on a regular basis....am I getting enough protein?...too much satfat?...enough nutrients? yada yada. I'm serious about being wanting to be healthy, not just a small size and unhealthy.
I know, I guess, what I need to do. My ass really needs to start running again on a regular basis. I could happily (but obviously wouldn't) lift every day of the week and twice on Sunday...but here lately running just bores the crap outta me. Just like the idea of recording my food (in any format) bores the crap outta me.
Okay, pulling my head outta my navel long enough to make a plan - even if it sorta sucks.
1) Weigh when TOM's over and see if I've actually gained weight. If so, bite the bullet and count cals, eat at a deficit 'till it's gone.
2) Go back to running twice a week, or one run plus one HIIT whether I want to or not.
3) Start listing my food...not going to bother recording the portion sizes/cals right now, but starting Monday I'm going to just start listing the food choices themselves - good or bad - on a daily basis.
I guess a girl's gotta have a plan
I don't want to list my foods every day. I don't want to count calories every day. I do want to occasionally include a bit of crap in my diet. I do want to hit, on a fairly consistent basis, a certain nutrient profile and set of macros. I don't want to spend ('cause I simply, REALLY don't have it right now) a lot of time on daily food prep/planning. I do want to maintain my weight. I am good at exercising discipline and sticking to a plan once I've laid it out. I am rotten at "just winging it" without a plan of some sort - a combo of too anal AND too scatterbrained I guess.
So, giving the above some thought, this is what I can and will do. I entered into Fitday all the foods and portion sizes I either normally eat or am comfortable eating on a daily basis, keeping in mind what's also going to be fast/convenient/portable/easily combined/available away from home.
Everything totaled up to 1891 calories with satfat, protein, carbs & fiber where I want it. Chances are there will be days I don't eat everything on the list, days I chose to include something not on the list and days I pretty much stick to it. Providing a pretty natural, self-regulating balance between higher/lower/maint. cal days. Just highlighting everything I actually ate on the list at the end of every day will tell me where I am on the cal. spectrum and give me a bit more accountability. It's a down and dirty approach, but I like it. It's gonna suit my goals, lifestyle and mindset at the moment.
Funny enough, I thought about, but didn't add a single item of crap to the daily calorie allowance pot. Cause last night I discovered that this stupid blackberry pie I've been so in love with lately is a whopping 280 cals for a piece about the size of my palm - and I've got tiny hands. Suddenly it looked way less appealing.
So, the foods, and accountability for the foods are a lock. Now I just have to sit myself down and forcefully remind myself that, once I get back in the habit of doing it consistently, I like running, I like running, I like running.
fish, 4 oz
Beans, 1/4 cup
Beef, 4 oz
Broccoli, 1 cup
Cabbage,1 cup
Cheese, cottage, dry curd, 1/4 cup
Milk, soy, 1/4 cup
Olive oil, 1 tblsppon
Sweetpotato, 1/4 whole small
Turnip greens, 1 cup
Yogurt, plain, whole milk, 1/2 cup
Almonds, 1 oz
puddings, sf/ff, 1 serving
Eggplant, 1 whole
Apple, raw, 1 whole
Tomato puree, 1/4 cup
Mango, raw, 1/2
Blueberries, frozen,
Popcorn, air-popped, 4 cups
Rice, brown, medium-grain, 1/4 cup
Soy flour, low-fat, 1/4 cup
Egg, white only, 4 whites
Flax meal, 1/4 cup
Total: 1891
Fat: 66 592 34%
Sat: 13 114 6%
Poly: 19 167 9%
Mono: 29 264 15%
Carbs: 217 650 37%
Fiber: 55 0 0%
Protein: 130 519 29%
I don't want to list my foods every day. I don't want to count calories every day. I do want to occasionally include a bit of crap in my diet. I do want to hit, on a fairly consistent basis, a certain nutrient profile and set of macros. I don't want to spend ('cause I simply, REALLY don't have it right now) a lot of time on daily food prep/planning. I do want to maintain my weight. I am good at exercising discipline and sticking to a plan once I've laid it out. I am rotten at "just winging it" without a plan of some sort - a combo of too anal AND too scatterbrained I guess.
So, giving the above some thought, this is what I can and will do. I entered into Fitday all the foods and portion sizes I either normally eat or am comfortable eating on a daily basis, keeping in mind what's also going to be fast/convenient/portable/easily combined/available away from home.
Everything totaled up to 1891 calories with satfat, protein, carbs & fiber where I want it. Chances are there will be days I don't eat everything on the list, days I chose to include something not on the list and days I pretty much stick to it. Providing a pretty natural, self-regulating balance between higher/lower/maint. cal days. Just highlighting everything I actually ate on the list at the end of every day will tell me where I am on the cal. spectrum and give me a bit more accountability. It's a down and dirty approach, but I like it. It's gonna suit my goals, lifestyle and mindset at the moment.
Funny enough, I thought about, but didn't add a single item of crap to the daily calorie allowance pot. Cause last night I discovered that this stupid blackberry pie I've been so in love with lately is a whopping 280 cals for a piece about the size of my palm - and I've got tiny hands. Suddenly it looked way less appealing.
So, the foods, and accountability for the foods are a lock. Now I just have to sit myself down and forcefully remind myself that, once I get back in the habit of doing it consistently, I like running, I like running, I like running.
fish, 4 oz
Beans, 1/4 cup
Beef, 4 oz
Broccoli, 1 cup
Cabbage,1 cup
Cheese, cottage, dry curd, 1/4 cup
Milk, soy, 1/4 cup
Olive oil, 1 tblsppon
Sweetpotato, 1/4 whole small
Turnip greens, 1 cup
Yogurt, plain, whole milk, 1/2 cup
Almonds, 1 oz
puddings, sf/ff, 1 serving
Eggplant, 1 whole
Apple, raw, 1 whole
Tomato puree, 1/4 cup
Mango, raw, 1/2
Blueberries, frozen,
Popcorn, air-popped, 4 cups
Rice, brown, medium-grain, 1/4 cup
Soy flour, low-fat, 1/4 cup
Egg, white only, 4 whites
Flax meal, 1/4 cup
Total: 1891
Fat: 66 592 34%
Sat: 13 114 6%
Poly: 19 167 9%
Mono: 29 264 15%
Carbs: 217 650 37%
Fiber: 55 0 0%
Protein: 130 519 29%
Curvie Girlie
New member
Sounds like a great plan, looking forward to your posts!
Ended up deviating sooooo far from planned intake I decided I had to list it out in fitday to see what was what.
blackeye peas
Rice, brown,
Sweetpotato, candied
Turnip greens,
Chicken breast
Chicken, drumstick
Cappuccino
Tartar sauce
Beef steak, broiled
Tomato puree
Eggplant, raw
Boston baked beans
Protein bar
Total: 1642
Fat: 51 457 29%
Sat: 18 164 10%
Poly: 10 90 6%
Mono: 15 138 9%
Carbs: 125 401 25%
Fiber: 25 0 0%
Protein: 148 594 38%
blackeye peas
Rice, brown,
Sweetpotato, candied
Turnip greens,
Chicken breast
Chicken, drumstick
Cappuccino
Tartar sauce
Beef steak, broiled
Tomato puree
Eggplant, raw
Boston baked beans
Protein bar
Total: 1642
Fat: 51 457 29%
Sat: 18 164 10%
Poly: 10 90 6%
Mono: 15 138 9%
Carbs: 125 401 25%
Fiber: 25 0 0%
Protein: 148 594 38%