It's all about me

Lukewarm: Considering my own bf is on the road roughly 3 weeks a month...I'm kinda dating my fridge too! Actually I kinda like it...like being a military wife - I get to have my own life and do my own thing, then just when about the time I start thinking..."hmmmm" - he's back in town & I get to be half of a couple which is great, till it starts to annoy me and I start thinking..."hmmm" and he has to leave again.:)

'm in love...with organic chicken broth: 15 cals % .05g sat fat a cup...I've been adding a little to everything from turkey cutlets to veggies and it's fantastic. A long time ago I tried making faux mashed potatoes with cauliflower and it sucked..bland and paste like. Tommorrow I'm gonna try it again with the chicken broth and I have a feeling it's gonna be my new favorite veggie.

Looking over my food list, I think I was kinda light on cals yesterday...not intentionally, but then again, maybe not because I was a little, uhm, liberal with the olive oil...which was probably balanced out because I eliminated my daily cappucino...oh, the joys of learning to eat within maint.range without calorie counting LOL...actually this is kinda fun in a way I totally can't explain...reminds me of studying for oral exams...all that information crammed in the brain and then having to stand there and demonstrate that you can actually put it together...guess I have a weird idea of "fun".

Thursday foods selected in bold:

fruits: 4-5 daily servings chosen from
apples, apricots, bananas, blueberries, canteloupe, cherries, figs, grapefruit, grapes, lemons, limes, papaya, pineapple, prunes, raisins, strawberries, tangerines, watermelon
***swapped blackberries for blueberries

veggies: 5-6 daily servings chosen from
artichokes, avocado, beets, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, califlower, chili pepper, daikon, garlic, ginger, mushrooms, onions, spinach, sweet potatoes, squash, tomatoes

grain/nuts/seeds/legumes: 4-6 daily servings chosen from
almonds, black beans, black eye peas, buckwheat, bulgar, lentils, flax, oats, pumpkin seeds, rice, walnuts, wheat bran, wheat germ, whole wheat
***additional: popcorn & saltines

dairy 3 daily servings chosen from:
yogurt, whole, skim/2% milk, cheese (any type)
***substituted soy milk for 2% milk
***cheese types: cottage heese & muenster

meat: 3 daily servings chosen from
chicken, turkey, fish
****fish type: shrimp
other: 1 daily serving each
olive oil
green tea

optional:
sugarfree pudding
sugarfree cookie
 
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Well, this is kinda interesting...because right now, in this tiny bubble of time...everything is just sorta perfect.

1) The appetite is, at last, reigned in - apparently my body responds well to the combo of green tea/protein/seafood/fiber/fat, all of which I happen to like and so far have no problem finding ways of combining 4 times a day....I get full before the last bite and have complete disinterest in food until the clock tells me it's time to eat again.

2) Weight holding perfectly steady with usual pound or two fluctuation up or down (currently down) without calorie counting. I can look back at my previous day's food list in the a.m. and make the coming day's adjustments just as easily as I could look at my fitday totals at the end of the night...actually it's better because I had a devious little tendency with fitday to go "oh, I have calories left over" and eat something random just cause I could.

3) Just plain deciding "beef/pork/dark poultry meat once a week only" and sticking to it pretty much eliminated my daily dance with keeping sat fat under control.

4) No silly little "I feel fat days" in so long I've kinda forgotten the last one. On the flip side of the coin, no particular compelling desire to work myself into a frenzy to achieve what I used to consider my "ideal" body which included having a 17% body fat and "perfect abs". I just feel like Popeye...I yam what I yam...and I'm happy with it.

5) And I can stick my head so far in my navel it comes out my spine without finding a single issue I feel I need to address: physically/behaviorally/emotionally. The "worst" I can come up with is "I eat too damn fast"...and it really is faster than I thought now that I'm aware of it...but I sorta don't care. In the big scheme of things, other than being a little socially awkward, it doesn't really mean a damn thing. It doesn't make me eat more, I'm full and satisfied when I'm done inhaling my appropriate portion...so I'm like...who cares? Some people stutter, some people talk with their hands, I happen to eat really fast:rotflmao: ...life will go on.

So, I'm in a "good space". I'm going to enjoy it as long as it lasts. I'm even going to be grateful for it. It's exactly the space I craved to be in way back when. For the first time since I was a child I can honestly say: "Food does not control me. My weight does control me. My appearance does not control me." Wow.

Friday foods:

fruits: 4-5 daily servings chosen from
apples, apricots, bananas, blueberries, canteloupe, cherries, figs, grapefruit, grapes, lemons, limes, papaya, pineapple, prunes, raisins, strawberries, tangerines, watermelon
***swapped blackberries for blueberries

veggies: 5-6 daily servings chosen from
artichokes, avocado, beets, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, califlower, chili pepper, daikon, garlic, ginger, mushrooms, onions, spinach, sweet potatoes, squash, tomatoes
***squash type: zucchini

grain/nuts/seeds/legumes: 4-6 daily servings chosen from
almonds, black beans, black eye peas, buckwheat, bulgar, lentils, flax, oats, pumpkin seeds, rice, walnuts, wheat bran, wheat germ, whole wheat
***swapped: Oat bran for wheat bran
***type whole wheat: won ton wrappers
***additional: soy beans, popcorn & saltines

dairy 3 daily servings chosen from:
yogurt, whole, skim/2% milk, cheese (any type)
***substituted soy milk for 2% milk
***cheese types: 4 cheese blend & muenster

meat: 3 daily servings chosen from
chicken, turkey, fish
****fish type: shrimp

other: 1 daily serving each
olive oil
green tea
***added sesame seed oil

optional:
sugarfree pudding
sugarfree cookies
 
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"Cym has officially arrived."

Awesome that you have no more "feeling fat" days, that is a tremendous accomplishment.

I think the move away from fitday was a good one for you. I always maintained by knowing when I had gone to far and then being "good" for a few days to counteract that. And I've always kept a very close eye on the scale so I know when things are going in the wrong direction and, rather than burying my head in the sand of denial, I would try to take charge and do something about it before the weight gain got out of hand.
 
Well, to clarify a little....I've always had these periodic "I feel fat" days where I got dressed, looked in the mirror and immediately changed clothes to something I thought made me look thinner (yea, dysfunctional I know)....I still have those random "hmm, this makes me fat" thoughts ('cause I accept that I will always be a bit body dysmorphic..it comes with the territory of repeated weight gain/loss)...it's just that...for some unknown reason I don't really give a darn.
 
I agree that it is much better to roll with one slight habit flaw (i.e. eating too fast) than to be mindful of it at all times. It would be very dreary. I'm so happy you're in a good place where you don't need to stress about the diet or cravings or anything. :) All of your hard work has paid off and now you've changed your habits for good. There aren't enough people who can say that. Congrats Cym.
 
cym said:
I just feel like Popeye...I yam what I yam...and I'm happy with it.

The "worst" I can come up with is "I eat too damn fast"...and it really is faster than I thought now that I'm aware of it...but I sorta don't care. In the big scheme of things, other than being a little socially awkward, it doesn't really mean a damn thing. It doesn't make me eat more, I'm full and satisfied when I'm done inhaling my appropriate portion...so I'm like...who cares? Some people stutter, some people talk with their hands, I happen to eat really fast:rotflmao: ...life will go on.
Click to expand...

Cute!

I agree! Here's to people who-eat-too-fast-but-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things-it-does-not-matter! :beerchug: At least we don't play sick, food games.

cym said:
Well, to clarify a little....I've always had these periodic "I feel fat" days where I got dressed, looked in the mirror and immediately changed clothes to something I thought made me look thinner (yea, dysfunctional I know).
Click to expand...

NOT dysfunctional. Trust me--we all know that no matter what we look like (hmmmm, unless maybe we looked like a Victoria's Secret model) some clothes are going to make us look boxy, or bulky, or "fat," whatever--it's always best, no, it's the RULES of fashion to wear the most flattering clothes to one's body-type. Functional, yes.
 
Today was first Sunday in I don't know how long that I bypassed my usual Sunday bacon/eggs/grits brunch order....it was a no-brainer choice 'cause I'm going to a huge cook-out on the 4th...I asked my friend what was going to be in her barbeque sauce and she said: beer, sugar, pineapple - at which point I stopped listening and ordered the fruit plate:doh:

Saturday foods:

fruits: 4-5 daily servings chosen from
apples, apricots, bananas, blueberries, canteloupe, cherries, figs, grapefruit, grapes, lemons, limes, papaya, pineapple, prunes, raisins, strawberries, tangerines, watermelon
***swapped blackberries for blueberries
applesauce for apple

veggies: 5-6 daily servings chosen from
artichokes, avocado, beets, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, califlower, chili pepper, daikon, garlic, ginger, mushrooms, onions, spinach, sweet potatoes, squash, tomatoes
***swapped turnip greens w/turnips for spinach
***swapped recaito for tomatoes
***swapped radish for ginger


grain/nuts/seeds/legumes: 4-6 daily servings chosen from
almonds, black beans, black eye peas, buckwheat, B]bulgar, lentils, flax, oats, pumpkin seeds, rice, walnuts, wheat bran, wheat germ, whole wheat
***type whole wheat: whole wheat flour
***additional: soy beans & saltines & rye flour

dairy 3 daily servings chosen from:
yogurt, whole, skim/2% milk, cheese (any type)
***substituted soy milk for 2% milk
***cheese types: 4 cheese blend, muenster & fat free cream cheese

meat: 3 daily servings chosen from
chicken, turkey, fish
****fish type: shrimp
****additional: eggs

other: 1 daily serving each
olive oil
green tea
***added sesame seed oil

optional:
sugarfree pudding, sf cookies, sf jello
 
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The BBQ sounds fun. I say "go for it and enjoy". In my view, maintaining weight is all about eating what we want sometimes on special occasions or just periodically. Your weight hits a set point and a few extra calories dont usually make it go up automatically. Seriously, you will definitely find that to be the case as you walk (run) the path of maintenance. Even though we prefer not to want to look at food as a source of enjoyment, we DO enjoy our food and I think its OK to eat whatever sometimes. I KNOW it wouldn't make you go back to eating whatever on a regular basis, if anything it would strengthen your resolve while at the same time you wouldn't have gone up in weight. I think you may have a different philosophy but that's mine. :) Hope you're enjoying your weekend Cym :)!
 
Blancita:

....I guess the big thing is (and it's embarassing to admit, but it is what it is) I've spent most of my life enjoying food a little more than the occassion surrounding it.:eek: Like, I'd go to a social function and most of what I looked forward to, and most of what I remembered as being the "fun" part was the food.

I guess one of the things I never really pointed out (but probably should have) in my food diary is that I am not only working on maintenance...but also in recovery from a binge eating disorder that started after my last "how low can you go 1200 cal and cardio till you drop" diet.

I know totally what you mean about food being enjoyment...and I wholeheartedly agree, but for me it's kind of a slippery slope because I spent so many years binge eating - and I mean "binge" in the classic, 6000 cals in a couple of hours period - not just eating too much.

I saw this show when I was in the midst of the worst of it (and it was bad) about this poor guy who was about 700 lbs and he was laying there in his massive bed, totally naked except for a sheet, eating donuts and saying "I know I shouldn't, but every bite is like a little cloud of happiness"...and it scared the piss outta me because I knew exactly how he felt....and the only thing that seperated me from him was the passing of time...cause there were times I could sit on the couch and open a large box of a freshly delivered, hot, loaded, gooey pizza and .... just get this almost physical rush of...happiness...at the thought of eating it.

That's pretty much why I had to learn to primarly think about food, as much as possible, as a source of "nutrition/fuel"....to a degree that is totally unnecessary for anyone without that particular eating disorder.

So, while I may (or may not) indulge in a serving of "OMG that's good" sauce, I'll still have a blast because of:

1. going shopping on Tuesday for a killer outfit to wear...I don't own a single "sundress" and I have visions dancing in my mind of something with thin crossed straps across the back, narrow in the torso and a little flouncy along the hemline with flat sandels that have those casual but sexy ribbon ties that wrap up to mid calf length 2. seeing some friends that I only run into anymore at big gatherings 3. "boat hopping" which is crazy fun because you just sort of "visit" in little groups from boat to boat - and even complete strangers are welcome (as long as you bring an offering of booze 4) watching the fireworks from the water which is amazing and beautiful.
:)
 
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I had no idea but I can see why you're worried about your relationship with food. For me a binge is having about 2500-2800 calories in a day so I guess I dont know at all what your talking about. I'm glad you turned things around and you should definitely be vigilant.

We used to do those boat parties when I lived in Bermuda. They called them raft-ups and about 30 or more boats would be tied together and you'd jump from boat to boat getting totally loaded. Ahhhhh, those were the days.
 
Oh well, it's been pretty much a "non-issue" with me for quite a long time, which is why I seldom even mention it...it was just one of five million other things I had to address as part of the whole weight loss process...I only remain mindful of it in the sense that I know I have to always be diligent about avoiding trigger foods and behaviors and make a firm distinction between enjoying my meal vs. deriving happiness from eating.

Funny enough, I've thought it a bit unusual that it's a topic very rarely mentioned on this particular forum considering that's it's a fairly common problem among people with weight issues:confused:

Actually, writing about it earlier made me go back and visit a related forum that I had spent quite a bit of time on when I was first trying to learn about and deal with the issue. It was kind of sad to see that far too many of the same regulars are still posting there, still trapped in the same patterns and reinforcing each other's negative behaviors in the guise of "support"....like one of those pro-ana sites in reverse.

And this is a bit of a tangent, but it makes me think that for every positive there can be a negative. I think one of the neatest things about Internet weight related sites is all the great support, motivation and suggestions. There are times when it can be invaluable. At the same time I think it can also be a dangerously easy place to find lots of support and encouragement that might feel good at the time, and is offered with nothing but well-meaning intentions, but in reality just reinforces and perpetuates negative behavior......oh well.
 
I can just imagine the "oh, dont feel bad about your 6,000 calorie binge, or throwing it up, just try not to do it next time..we all have bad days". I was always amazed by the people on this other site who only talked about their good days but like you said, never their bad days when they're binging. As if they're all perfect at dieting but are at the same time morbidly obese with no scale change. One girl was 305 lbs and she was the first to critique a plan or give advice in a sassy way, but the sad thing was over the several months that I visited the site she never lost any weight. She just never discussed what was really going on and that's what I think would have helped people more than her practical advice that she clearly was not following.
 
I have wondered why you are so strict with yourself. I thought it was wonderful, though unusual. I can also see why now. I know what you guys mean about support forums. I have seen some people utilize the opportunity and others who haven't.

I'm excited for you, I hope you have a lovely time. Your proposed outfit sounds gorgeous and right for you. I've been lusting for a beautiful pair of grecian goddess sandals for FOREVER! Enjoy yourself Cym :)
 
Cym, I totally relate to your comments about binge eating. Obviously, we can't have the same relationship to food that an alcoholic does to drink, because we must eat, but many of us still have to exercise the same caution. I don't think there will ever be a day again where I could live comfortably in a place where junk food was all around. That means in our house, there is NO junk food of ANY kind -- nothing, nada, zip.
 
CurvieGirl: you know what, I sorta read that thread, or at least the first part of it ...because I have to admit I remember reading something about eating "a whole candy bar at once" and thinking..."this is a binge? hit me up if you wanna talk about 'whole cake'":)

Blancita: you must have been reading over my shoulder cause that's exactly what it was...right down to the fountain of advice from a venerated senior member who apparently takes none of it herself....I've developed little patience for people who are adept at "talking the talk" without putting the first step forward to "walk the walk" for themselves. Oh, whoops, I'm supposed to be working on the impatience thing:rotflmao: ...p.s that reminds me, you totally saved my butt this morning (literally cause it was squat and other fun lower body stuff day)...I got up totally not feeling like working out this morning (rare but it happens) and had half talked myself into a good reason not to, then I read your post and thought..."oh hell, now I gotta go get my ass in gear - as much as I like to encourage other people to make like Nike and "just do it".

Tom: I once added up the number of times in the course of a year I would need to eat...just so I could see the huge number (I'm a data oriented person...can ya tell) and make sense of it......totally put into perspective why I needed to get a handle on it

Lukewarm: I'm so excited to shop I can't wait...I'm only going to be disappointed if I can't find the outfit I have in my head....makes me wish I had paid attention and been interested when one of my aunties tried to teach me how to sew...I could whip up that little number in an hour:mad:

Sunday foods:

fruits: 4-5 daily servings chosen from
apples, apricots, bananas, blueberries, canteloupe, cherries, figs, grapefruit, grapes, lemons, limes, papaya, pineapple, prunes, raisins, strawberries, tangerines, watermelon[/B

veggies: 5-6 daily servings chosen from
artichokes, avocado, beets, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, califlower, chili pepper, daikon, garlic, ginger, mushrooms, onions, spinach, sweet potatoes, squash, tomatoes

grain/nuts/seeds/legumes: 4-6 daily servings chosen from
almonds, black beans, black eye peas, buckwheat, bulgar, lentils, flax, oats, pumpkin seeds, rice, walnuts, wheat bran, wheat germ, whole wheat
***additional: saltines

dairy 3 daily servings chosen from:
yogurt, whole, skim/2% milk, cheese (any type)
***substituted soy milk for 2% milk
***cheese types: 4 cheese blend, muenster

meat: 3 daily servings chosen from
chicken, turkey, fish

other: 1 daily serving each
olive oil
green tea

optional:
 
cym said:
Tom: I once added up the number of times in the course of a year I would need to eat...just so I could see the huge number (I'm a data oriented person...can ya tell) and make sense of it......totally put into perspective why I needed to get a handle on it
Click to expand...


LOL, how about this?
Calories I've consumed in food since January 1, 2007: 479,619
Calories expended in normal (non exercise) activity: 424,330
Calories expended from exercise: 128,853

That's a LOT of calories!!
 
Great posts in here ... Cym, you've done so incredibly well and you continue to do well. I completely understand the need for vigilance and the slippery slope thing. Hope you find that dress!!
 
Anna: I LOVE your new avatar...you look stunningly lovely and happy.

Tom: why do I find it so cool that you actually know that...:)

Thought I'd better post my today's foods now instead of waiting 'till tommorrow 'cause I won't be able to get to it in the morning...in addition to shopping and some stupid girly stuff like a mani/pedi, I have to run all over town on five million errands that will take all day but cannot be put off because of the holiday falling in the middle of the week:

Monday foods:

fruits: 4-5 daily servings chosen from
apples, apricots, bananas, blueberries, canteloupe, cherries, figs, grapefruit, grapes, lemons, limes, papaya, pineapple, prunes, raisins, strawberries, tangerines, watermelon
***substituted peach for apricot

veggies: 5-6 daily servings chosen from
artichokes, avocado, beets, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, califlower, chili pepper, daikon, garlic, ginger, mushrooms, onions, spinach, sweet potatoes, squash, tomatoes

grain/nuts/seeds/legumes: 4-6 daily servings chosen from
almonds, black beans, black eye peas, buckwheat, bulgar, lentils, flax, oats, pumpkin seeds, rice, walnuts, wheat bran, wheat germ, whole wheat
***additional: saltines
*** corn muffin

dairy 3 daily servings chosen from:
yogurt, whole, skim/2% milk, cheese (any type)
***substituted soy milk for 2% milk
***cheese types: 4 cheese blend, muenster
***substituted oat bran for wheat bran

meat: 3 daily servings chosen from
chicken, turkey, fish
fish type: shrimp
additional: lean ground beef
eggs

other: 1 daily serving each
olive oil
green tea

optional:
sugar free cookies
organic molassas
 
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