It's all about me

Cym I've gotta say that it's cool to read that you had a day where you had to talk yourself into exercising. I'm happy that it's rare (makes me think that it'll become a rare thing for me too at some point) but it's good to know that you're able to 'just do it.' Karma to Blancita for helping that along hahaha...I checked out your pics again. I WANT YOUR ARMS! and everything else too. I hope you have a great fourth! :)
 
Heya Cym! just wanted to say it makes me really happy to be able to relate to a person who has struggled in such similar ways as myself. To see someone become so successful at this endeavor, even though they truly were a binge eater and had a very real eating disorder at one point. In no exageration, some of my binges have been around 10k calories, lasting over an hour. Talk about whole cakes, lol. how about a 1 pound stick of pepperoni, 2 pounds of cheese, a very large jar of olives, a 2 pound box of chocolates, half gallon of chocolate milk, and it goes on... 30-40 dollars worth of food gone in an hour or two.

When you have gotten so far out of whack in the past, and have submitted to some truly horrendous experiences, sometimes it really takes an almost equally crazy motivation to not only turn things around, but to keep from ever going back to those dark places. But, what do i need to say that to you for? lol, you obviously already know and understand this. But not so many others do, people who have never fought obesity in ways we have. overcoming this makes us special in ways others will never be. I think we have defeated a demon that is far worse than any alcohol or drug addiction. at least in those regards you can just quit permanent. here you must learn moderation, which means you must consistantly subject yourself to the enemy while never letting it get control of you again. Heck, i know from experience, quitting smoking was 100 times easier than changing my eating habits.

very few people really inspire me cym, i have no heroes, i believe in the strength of the self. but damn its nice to see someone overcome some very common obstacles. what you do keeps my faith alive that success for the lifetime is very possible.
 
But not so many others do, people who have never fought obesity in ways we have. overcoming this makes us special in ways others will never be. I think we have defeated a demon that is far worse than any alcohol or drug addiction. at least in those regards you can just quit permanent. here you must learn moderation, which means you must consistantly subject yourself to the enemy while never letting it get control of you again
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Coach, yea, it's one of those things that you either know cause you've been there and no explaination is needed for a "fellow traveller"...or (God willing) an experience you can imagine but never really know. If I have learned anything important through this entire journey it is the freakin, sheer wonderfulness of the human mind/body/spirit...because no matter how hard something seems, or even is, we all have the possibility within us to change...and that possibility is handed to us every day, hour and moment of our lives like a gift.

Warning: the following is 100% pure superficial b.s.:rotflmao: (truly it really is, my food diary is aptly named)

Somewhat slightly superficial item number one: I finally, finally broke my "no heavier" barrier on my bench press. Okay, this is dumb. But for some reason, ever since I started lifting I've had this thought that I just wanted to bench my body weight. Yes, yes, I said it was dumb. But, even though I have had strength increases on every other movement...I've been stuck on my bench FOREVER....until this morning. I know it's not exactly a world record and i don't care...I can now bench 70# and I feel like an Olympic athlete.

Semi related bit of fluff number two: I had this nice conversation with a guy about length of rest between sets...what made it so cool was way back when I first started he's one of the main ones who made me feel so intimidated about being in the "big boys room"...I distinctly remember him saying, in a not so kind tone (okay, he friggin sneered), something along the lines of "do you know what you're doing?" when I was trying to adjust the incline on a weight bench one day. I know I shouldn't really care, but it gave me a warm fuzzy having this particular guy actually approach me and initiate a conversation like I was peer rather than a clueless chick who wandered into the room looking for the stair stepper.

Flat outright shamelessly shallow, superficial item number three: I almost cried in the store this morning. I mean tears actually welled up. I'm standing there flipping through a rack of pretty little summer dresses, and even though some were totally not suited for the occasion, and some were not to my personal style or taste, all of them just looked so tiny and cute and I had this thought: "OMG, I can wear anything on this rack I want..anything." It's not like I don't shop embarrassingly often...or already own more clothes than I need on any practical level, or even that I haven't been the same clothing size for months on end. So I don't know what the deal was...but just looking at those dresses I was just momentarily overwhelmed by the knowledge that I could actually wear them.

And on my way to the dressing room I couldn't help but detour through my "old home" - the dreaded "Misses Department" where I have spent many a depressing hour or two trying to find something, anything that didn't make me look either pregnant or matronly..and I'm thinking "how the hell did this happen" I mean, I know the mechanics (blood, sweat and tears:) )...but on another level it was almost surreal, standing there with my little clutch of dresses designed to reveal as much as possible, looking at the outfits I'd had to choose from two years ago that were designed to cover as much as possible.
 
There's nothing superficial about that--you deserve to feel that way, and recognize how hard you worked. Also, were you not over weight for longer than a few months? Didn't it take 2 years to get where you are? So just because you've been at that beautiful weight of 126 (or 125 now, not sure) a part of you may be still healing from the pain/anguish or whatever you felt, when you were at your heaviest. Sorry if I'm being too familiar.
 
Hey Val! Gosh, don't worry about being "too familiar"...I figure anything I choose to post in a public place is fair game for anyone who reads it to agree, disagree or plain not care:)

I guess the reason I always feel the need to "red flag" when I'm being exceptionally shallow is because my food diary is really the only place I express those particular thoughts "out loud"...I was totally raised on the "pretty is as pretty does" school of thought
 
cym said:
I was totally raised on the "pretty is as pretty does" school of thought
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I agree, and as a child I used my own logic and reasoning to decide that appearances are deceiving, and blah blah. Growing up I really felt disgusted at outright vanity, or people using others with their good lucks for personal gain. I'm embarrassed sometimes when people compliment me, or when guys give me stuff or discounts or whatever. I have learnt to graciously accept niceities, but I like to think I charmed them into it ;)
 
We women are such a walking contradiction...it's a wonder that all males over the age of 12 aren't totally insane trying to figure us out LOL...I mean I feel the exact same way: I know I'd rather someone value me, or seek my company, or be nice because I'm a kind person, or a good conversationalist, or whatever - tons of stuff not based on physical appearance - and yet....realistically do I put on makeup, get my nails done, wax my legs and select just the right outfit in the expectation that guys will nudge each other and go "wow, check out her....ummm IQ"
 
sometimes you ladies absolutely crack me up, lol

Cym, i wouldnt peg you as the type of person to go around jaunting your successes in other people's faces. But you do deserve to feel great, and damn it, it just feels good to let others know. So I will say that I am more than happy (and I am sure the others are as well) to sit here and listen (read) to you brag as much as you want. Besides, its good influence to see someone so incredibly happy that they made a change. makes the rest of us want to change so we can have that feeling too.
 
CoachCrimson said:
Besides, its good influence to see someone so incredibly happy that they made a change. makes the rest of us want to change so we can have that feeling too.
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YES!! Go C.C.!!

Cym: Walking contradication, totally! p.s. when I first was set to be slim and fit, I wanted so bad to be "hot." Now that a decent # of males view me as such, I lost interest. I still put on flattering clothes and sometimes makeup, but all I really want is interaction because I'ma bit lonely--all my girlfriends moved away from S.C. and my BF and housemates like to stay at home. And I can only take so much of them! ;)
 
Cym CONGRATULATIONS on everything basically, but really, you pushed yourself to bench more than you ever have and that's incredible. :eek: Congratulations on not letting the dudes in the weight room affect your progress and in turn, earning their respect and awe. Congrats also on being able to walk confidently into any store and know that you have worked on your body and can now wear whatever you please, without feeling insecure. I LOVE your head woman!
 
hey cym! Thanks for stopping by my diary! You are so inspirational and I'm glad to see you still going strong and staying true! I'll be around!
 
Lukewarm: LMAO at the "respect and awe" part, you'd have to know these guys...trust me, it's more like "resigned acceptance" - which is cool enough:rolleyes: . And I meant to tell you when you were talking about taking a notebook with you to remember stuff on your weights...for the first month or so I toted along a little red spiral notebook complete with little stickmen figures (I can't draw) demonstrating the movements and notes beside each one saying stuff like "stick butt out", "keep back flat", ect. besides each one...I made checkmarks besides every set I completed because I couldn't remember how many I'd done and I gave myself little smiley faces at the end of each completed session. When somebody asked me what it was I said proudly "oh, it's my training log":rotflmao:

Coach: I've said it before, I'll say it again: smart men are sexy!

Photocrazed: Glad to see you back.

Val: If all my girlfriends moved away I'd be miserable....although I admit they've driven me insane tonight with endless "coordination" phone calls:mad: I actually found myself saying something like "well I just talked to V and she says that M's son's mother-in-law's aunt said":eek:



Not nearly enough veggies but fruit overload, couldn't figure out why I made the choices I did all day until just realized...it's just TOM and my desire for fruit plus more fruit kicks in like this every month.
Tuesday foods:

fruits: 4-5 daily servings chosen from
apples, apricots, bananas, blueberries, canteloupe, cherries, figs, grapefruit, grapes, lemons, limes, papaya, pineapple, prunes, raisins, strawberries,[/B] watermelon


veggies: 5-6 daily servings chosen from
artichokes, avocado, beets, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, califlower, chili pepper, daikon, garlic, ginger, mushrooms, onions, spinach, sweet potatoes, squash, tomatoes
******additional: corn on cobb

grain/nuts/seeds/legumes: 4-6 daily servings chosen from
almonds, black beans, black eye peas, buckwheat, bulgar, lentils, flax, oats, pumpkin seeds, rice, walnuts, wheat bran, wheat germ, whole wheat
***additional: soy beanss
*** whole wheat type: won ton wrappers

dairy 3 daily servings chosen from:
yogurt, whole, skim/2% milk, cheese (any type)
***substituted soy milk for 2% milk
***cheese types: cottage cheese & ff cream cheese


meat: 3 daily servings chosen from
chicken, turkey, fish
additional: lean pork cutlet


other: 1 daily serving each
olive oil
green tea
echitacea tea

optional:
sugar free pudding
organic molassas
 
LOL Cym I love the idea of drawing stick figures to help! Hilarious, I have a binder too, and the ONLY reason I don't have pictures is because my exercises aren't too difficult this month :) Just wait, I'll be busting out the stick-figures soon.:rotflmao:
 
4th of July foods

Impossible to list in my usual format since most food would just be under "optional"...so for pure self accountability purposes I'm just gonna jot down, in no particular order, the indivdual foods...pretty much an day kinda affair from early afternoon till late late night so it was a bit here, a bit there.. Actually, had it not been for the alcohol, calories probably only about 200 over max maint. range. I've decided that while I apparently have objections to "recreational eating to excess"...I have no such objections to "recreational drinking":rolleyes: I killed far, far too many brain cells and I'm paying for it today. 2999th reminder to self: Your body can no longer handle it - suck up that fact and stop trying!

Beer
Pina Colada(s)
Rum & diet coke
chicken
fish
corn on cobb
no bake oatmeal/choco cookie thingy
broccoli
frozen yogurt
cherries
blueberries
grapefruit
frozen orange wedge in jello thingy
almonds
scallops
little cheese cubes of assorted cheeses
kiwi fruit
lumpia
apple

okay, I think that's all.:)
 
cym said:
Okay, basically I want to increase the amount of weight on my bench press. For a long time I've been stuck at 60#,Tuesday was the first day I was able to do 70# in a 5x5 set-up with 120s rest between set. Yesterday I noticed DOMS was localized to right above my inner elbow area...a brand new spot that has never been sore before...so this morning I looked it up and if I understand it correctly it's my Biceps Brachii, a dynamic stabilizer when doing a bench press....except for tri-dips, I don't do any direct arm work at all...so I'm wondering if that's the reason (or one of the reasons) I've been stuck so long on being able to increase my bench press...i.e. if I incorporated barbell curls to strengthen the biceps, do you think this would assist in going heavier on the bench press? Or am I misunderstanding it althogther?
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Cym.. I saw this on Blancita's Diary and althogh I am somewhat an amatuer as well.. I don't think it's really your Biceps that help you increase your bench press. Honestly, for me, I think it's working your Triceps that helps you lift more. They get worked more than Biceps when doing the bench. Also, have you tried doing your bench press with dumbbells instead of a barbell? I seem to get a better lift that way. :)

Oh well, hope that helps you out somewhat. Have a great day!

Bruce
 
I think Bruce has a good idea there. I like to alternate between BB's and DB's on the Bench Press. Keeps things interesting, and keeps your muscles from getting too caught in the groove.
 
Bruce & Tom: Good ideas because, no, I don't alternate with dumbells on my bench press and other than tridips I don't do anything specifically targeted to triceps either. I think it's time for me to sit down and re-evaluate what I want to "get" out of my lifting and what I need to adjust....The first couple months I just "flailed around" feeling my way (although it seemed purposeful at the tmie:) ) and the last year I've more or less stuck to compound movements targeting "big" groups... I think I've been eating at maint. level long enough to stop thinking "lbm preservation"....physically and mentally ready to move on....too bad I killed soooooo many brain cells yesterday that I now have to go take (another) nap so I can work this p.m.....shameful isn't it: "I'm too hung over right now to devise a plan to increase my fitness level":drooling: :mad: :eek:
 
So sorry you're hung, I know how it is! (amazingly I am not today). Feel better soon and glad you enjoyed yourself! :)
 
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