It's all about me

cym said:
I am a lifelong member of the "if it tastes sweet and tasty continue eating (or think about eating) until your belly hurts club". But, yesterday...well i ate a cookie and it was such a "no big deal" thing that I would have totally forgotten it if I hadn't been logging my foods in. I don't know how long this has been going on...I suspect yesterday was not the first time...only I just noticed it...and, well dammit I'm excited:jump:
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Um, yes, I'm a lifelong member of the same club. tee hee

I'd say you have .... arrived ... when one can eat a cookie and go on with their day ... they have ... arrived.
WAY TO FREAKING GO!!!!!!
 
1080

Mal/Kelly/Anna: You know, to 99.9% of the world my "cookie moment" would sound so stupid...but ...very, very nice to know that there actually are people out there that "get" why that felt like such a big deal turning point to me.

Cals only at 1080. Ooooh, not good, not good at all. The never-ending rain gave way to a a crazy intense heat (I swear I don't remember it being like this last year) that just sapped my appetite. Naturally my car a.c. picked yesterday to go wonky on me. Between the weird heat and no car a.c. I've just been a defective sponge: yesterday and today all I seem to be doing is a'drinkin' and a'peein (TMI I know:eek: ).

Liquids:
coffee, 24 oz
lemon juice, 3 oz
green tea, 20 oz
water, 100+ oz

fruit
apple, raw
banana, 1/2

veggies
broccoli, 1 cup chopped
tomato, 1 large
onion, 1/4 cup chopped

dairy:
Muenster cheese, 2%, 1 slice
2% milk, i cup

meat:
oysters, 1 cup

nuts/seeds/grains/legumes
almonds, 1 oz
ww flat wrap, 1 wrap

Total: 1080
Fat: 48 430 41%
Sat: 13 120 11%
Poly: 10 87 8%
Mono: 19 175 17%
Carbs: 125 423 40%
Fiber: 19 0 0%
Protein: 51 203 19%
Alcohol: 0 0 0%
 
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Whoa, did you actually go to bed on so few calories?

I had a similar "cookie" moment with potato chips, my old downfall, yesterday. Put out a portion, only ate 5, "eh, so what" I said and put them back in the bag.

Thanks for stopping by my diary today.

Air conditioning is expensive to fix. I had mine disconnected last year. It was gonna be $700 to fix. Good luck with that.

What's it like to have a "sapped" appetite? (i.e. no appetite). I don't believe I've ever had one.
 
1768

Well, this is odd, and I know it. We went out to eat today at a buffet place. I wasn't even hungry, nothing was all that appealing for some reason. But for some reason I found my self feeling this little stab of jealousy...because we were surrounded by all these kind of large people just happily chowing down on piles of food. I was thinking "gee, I remember how much fun that was". Seriously. Even though there were 5 million things I did not like about being overweight, there was this long period when I also sorta just didn't care...and it was fun to just go to a buffet, stuff myself with heaps of fried foods, get 2 or 3 different desserts, joke about needing wheelbarrow to get me to the car and go home and "sleep it off". There really was something fun about not knowing or caring what/how much I ate and what it was doing to my body...and if I did care even a little bit at the moment I'd think "well, I'm going to enjoy this now and start a serious diet tomorrow". I mean, I don't want for a second to go back to thinking/feeling that way...but I can't deny that there was something very satisfying and seductive about the behavior itself...and the mindset that encouraged it. Like I said, it was an odd thought. Don't know where it came from.:confused:

Yesterday was another "the heat is killing my appetite and making me lethargic" day...funny enough my horoscope advised that it I should stay home and read a book....so I did...it was me, the a.c. on super high, a huge frozen mold (yogurt, milk, nuts, fruits, gelatin) I nibbled off all evening and a good book. The funny thing is I chose to do this instead of going with my girlfriends on a casino boat trip....as it turned out they all lost LOTS of money. Must read my horoscope more often. :)

Cals at 1768, still under low end of maint. range....but much better than Friday! Sat fat okay at 20g, fiber a bit low at only 28g, protein at min., 105g. 8 servings combined fruit/veggies, but could have rounded out with one more veggie, 4 servings low/non fat dairy combined and 3 servings meat/no fish, except for turkey, only 1 choice actually "lean", but not enough to push sat fat over. 4 different grain choices, o'd on nuts just to push up cals.



Liquids:
coffee, 16 oz
lemon juice, 2 oz
water, 100+ oz

fruits:
apple, 1 small
banana, 1/2 medium
blueberries, 1/2 cup
raisins, 1.5 oz
orange, 1/2 small

veggies
cabbage, 1 cup chopped
tomato, 1 small
onions, purple,1/4 cup chopped

dairy:
milk, 2%, 1 cup
yogurt, plain, whole, 2/3 cup
cottage cheese, 2%, 1/4 cup
cheddar, non fat, 1 oz

meat:
pork chop, 4.5 oz
chicken, 1 wingette
turkey, 99% fat free, 1 serving

nuts/grains/seeds/legumes
almonds, 35 nuts
buckwheat, slightly over 1 tablespoon
ww flat wrap, 1 wrap
crackers, 4 saltines

other:
sf/ff pudding, 2 servings
gelatin, plain, 1 envelope

Total: 1768
Fat: 65 583 34%
Sat: 20 178 10%
Poly: 10 90 5%
Mono: 28 249 14%
Carbs: 212 736 42%
Fiber: 28 0 0%
Protein: 105 420 24%
 
Wow, from your lead-in, I thought I was going to read that you consumed 4,956 calories in one meal, and here you didn't even get 1800 for the day!

I know that feeling you're talking about. It's the same feeling I had as a little kid, when I'd be all alone with a bag of chocolate chip cookies, and eat the entire bag in one sitting.
 
I was thinking about something I read in Tom's journal yesterday about the difference a year has made in his health and fitness level from last Father's Day until now. And it made me think about how important the little daily stuff is when taken as a whole (health wise). I'm thinking that it while it often seems somewhat unimportant to me to go "oh, sat fat a little high today" or "not enough veggies today" etc....it's the sum total of all those days that really counts. What would the difference in my overall health, energy and fitness level be in one year if I had an accumulation of 365 days with low saturated fat, high fiber, solid nutritional intake?

So, this morning I've decided to wean myself from the teat of calorie counting and shift my focus to improving my nutritional profile. I decided that after my morning weigh-in which was the same as last week (126)...and pretty much every week before that stretching back for about 5-6 months. Because, calories & appropriate portion sizes I know...heck if I didn't at this point I'd be an idiot considering how long (1 year, 7 months) I've been counting and measuring. If I really, really want to move forward I gotta trust myself enough to start focusing on these other things.

My "problem" at this point, despite the occasional "whoops" of too much or too little, is really not staying within my maint. range. The problem is I tend to consume too much saturated fat, although I've been really improving that, too often fail to balance my fruits/veggies to get a consistent amount of the necessary nutrients, don't eat fish as often as I should, am totally not balancing my healthy fats, and almost daily get my nut/grain/etc. servings from whole wheat sources rather than a good variety.

So, I'm not sure what form this is going to take or what it will look like in practice. I have some idea, but I need to do a little reading and thinking. The only thing I'm sure about is it feels like a huge step forward...like there's a check list in my head: weight loss- check, improved fitness- check, learning to maintain- check, learning to really eat healthy- work in progress:)



Liquids:
coffee, 20 oz
lemon juice, 2 oz
water, 80 oz

fruits:
apples, 2 small
blueberries, 1/2 cup
banana, 1/2 medium
raisins, .05 oz

veggies
broccoli, 1 cup chopped
cabbage, napa, 1 cup shredded
tomato, 1 small
corn, 1 cobb, medium

dairy:
2% milk, 1/2 cup
cottage cheese, 2%, 1/4 cup
cheddar, non-fat, 1/2 cup
yogurt, plain, whole, 1/4 cup

meat:
bacon, 4 strips
turkey, 99% fat free, 1 serving
salmon, 5 oz
eggs, scrambled, 1/2 cup

nuts/grains/seeds/legumes
buckwheat, 1 tablespoon
flat out wrap (ww), 2 wraps
crackers, 2 saltines
grits, hominy, 1/4 cup

other:
sf/ff pudding, 1 serving
 
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Cym, I'll be very interested in watching you with your new measurements. I think I'm learning an awful lot about what the maintenance phase will be like for me, once I get there.
 
Heck Tom, I'm about half a year into it and I'm still learning "what it's like":confused: Actually, when I think about it, I was within 10lbs of my goal weight last July, so in some ways I could say I've been working on it for nearly a year. It is so NOT easy or simple...we think it will be, we want it to be...but the reality is (as statistics bear out) maintaining the loss without yo-yo'ing around is a lot harder than the loss itself.
 
cym said:
..but the reality is (as statistics bear out) maintaining the loss without yo-yo'ing around is a lot harder than the loss itself.
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Excellent point. We're so attuned to thinking that the "battle" is getting to the target, and after that we can just coast along and things will take care of themselves. We forget that "coasting along" is exactly what got us into our situation in the first place. That's why your diary is such a good learning tool.
 
Wow great reading in here. I had to laugh at the phrase wean myself from the teat of calorie counting. LOL

I think it's good to acknowledge the seduction of buffet bliss, because it's a reality. It's when we pretend there's nothing appealing about it, that we head for a fall. Being sober of body and mind is better than all that gorging and gluttony. They may look happier...but I think it's a false happiness. And gluttony dulls a person's ability to deal with other areas in life, I've found for myself anyways.

I really appreciate reading your diary because I agree maintenance is every bit as hard as weight loss, if not harder because there's no longer the reward of weight loss, it's purely devotion to chosen lifestyle. I am no where NEAR moving away from calorie counting so props to YOU for taking the leap.
 
Afternoon CYM, Sounds like you have a whole new way of thinking right now, I can't wait to see how it works out for you. After counting calories for so long, I think your mind just automatically does it whenever you grab a bite to eat, I know mine is always working on it when I stick something in my mouth, it's almost obsessive. I broke down and had two small brownies this weekend, which I rarely eat desserts anyways, but I felt the guilt, then I went outside for a whole hour straight and pushed a lawn mower around the yard until I was drenched in sweat. I just want the whole enchilada, that I think to myself, if I eat something bad, then I need to work it off at the same time. That's not good, it's not healthy and I shouldn't think that way, but I want so badly to be down to that size 8 I can feel it, it's all I think about most of the day. I really need to retrain my mind that's it's okay to have that 200 calorie brownie once a week, as long as it's not everyday, and I shouldn't "punish myself" so to speak for doing it. Did you ever feel that way when you were starting out?? I'm sorry to post so much in your diary about my issues, I'm just so intrigued by your smarts and your insight on eating and maintain. So did it take you an entire year to get from the 180's to the 120's??? did you have break down months when you didn't lose for weeks, like me??
Kim
 
Kim, I have a good way for you to break your habit.

Every time you eat that 200 calorie brownie, come on over and mow MY yard!
 
cym, im so glad to see you consistantly having this sort of inner enlightenment, and understanding more and more as you go about what you need to do to succeed. because i really believe we should learn something new every day, and that more importantly, we should put that new thing to use in order to better a life in some way. and each time you are able to learn something and try to put it to good use, you extend your success time table because you are still consistantly working to improve. i think you will have your fair share of battles against maintaining your success, but at the same time i think youre equipped with a better arsenal to fight with than most people out there. Keep it up, not only for yourself, but for the rest of us who are working to be where you are now.
 
Kim, this is a sorta down and dirty response cause I'm about to run out the door in the next few.....

One: yea, I hear you on everything you're saying...it's common ground for probably 99% of women.

Two: stop stressing crap like an occassional brownie. There's no such thing as eating badly really, it's just about making choices that make sense and fit into the overall big plan... wanting something, denying yourself that thing for a long time, breaking down and having it and then feeling guilty about it and trying to work it off...well, that's just dieting and you can see why it sucks and doesn't work. If you don't want to eat something like brownies soley because of the calorie cost, just figure out how to make your calories work around it and have a brownie or two once a week. The best example I can give you from my own experience is that every Sunday for practically my whole life I have had bacon, scrambled eggs, grits and a buiscit for breakfast. Not your meal of champions. Other than ditching the biscuit, I have continued to eat this same Sunday breakfast through my entire weight loss process and beyond...I just monitor the portions and account for the calories by having a lighter than usual lunch and all is well. Otherwise every Sunday I'd be salivating over what I "'couldn't have", would eventually crack and end up eating it anyway and feel guilty about it. There is stuff I chose to not eat "forever" purely for health reasons...and that's a different animal to fight with.

Three:: Working off the excess calories. To be honest I think this is a trap with long term consequences. The only reason (just IMO) to exercise is because it's good for our bodies, it's a fun activity and it's what the human body was designed to do - move. That perspective makes it pretty easy 9 times out of 10 to keep at it day after day. When we start tying it to a simple calorie burning activity it eventually stops being fun, it gets to tempting to overat too often because we know we can "burn it off" later - making it that much harder to really get a grip on our basic food habits, it disprupts having a normal "routine" that we can follow because we have to keep changing it to account for our food sins, it starts taking on a "punishment" aspect "I was bad at dinner, I have to be extra good in the gym" and, what I see a lot, when we fall off track with food, since we've related it to exercise, the exercise habit is the next to quickly go.

Reality says that if you are consistently maintaining a calorie deficit, whether you exercise like a fiend or not at all, you are going to lose weight. If you just (mentally) let the deficit contribute to your weight loss and the exercise contribute to your health, stamina, body shape, mood stabilization and daily dose of intense physical fun...life is easier and the same thing happens in the end...the weight comes off.

Oh, and for the last part of your question: I'm weird. I was always just as happy to see a change in bodyfat%, inches, sometimes even a gain in strength or running speed as I was to see the scale drop....even when the scale did not go down, which sometimes it did not for weeks, as long as one of those happening, I knew my body was cooperating and taking me where I wanted to go in the long run.
 
Very good!! thanks so much for taking the time to type all that out and when your on the run. It means a lot to me! Thank goodness that even after working out at the gym for over a year now, I still LOVE going. That is a saving grace for me. I was ALWAYS a very active kid, I played on a basketball team, I ran track, I was involved in drill team and cheerleading all through school and you couldn't get me out of the pool, I lived in there. I really, really love the outdoors and I love working out. I'm sure my problems all stem from being really thin as a kid, then having twins as a young adult and not being able to get down to skinny again, unless of course I ate hardly anything. As you well know it was so easy back in our younger years to burn those calories, NOW we have to work twice as hard to get there. I'm learning more and more from this site to stay with it, don't give in, and the biggest thing of all TAKE YOUR TIME! I'm really glad your here! You keep me on the straight and narrow and that's what I need!! THANKS!
Kim
 
Hey Cym, thanks for the book recom. If you say it’s a good investment it must be. I have been curious about some recipes as well, because I’m getting a bit bored of WW toast/turkey. There are a few nice recipe sites but I don’t have the time or money usually to go hunting up the ingredients they include. I like your theory about not so much supplementing the occasional bad food day with excess exercise, but rather enjoying the exercise and pushing yourself because you want to and it’s good for you. Write a book Cym! I’d buy it :)
 
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Coach: I have these long periods where I just slogg along, doing what I do with much whining and gnashing of teeth....and then suddenly something clicks and I have long periods when random things come together and start making sense in a new way...right now things are coming together and clicking - but no doubt any day now I'll be slogging along, whining and bitching again.

Lukewarm: Oh, that book is my food bible. I love it so much, If I were a millionare I swear I would put a free copy in the hands of everyone trying to lose weight and eat healthy.....since I'm not all I can do is reccommend it. Honestly it saved my provervial butt a million times.

Anna: I'm so glad you used the word "gluttony"...cause it's what I was thinking...like greed, sometimes gluttony feels good -at least in the moment...but the price tag is high.

Kim: If you're still working off that brownie when you get done mowing Tom's yard I've got some weeding and a bunch of flowers ready for planting this afternoon!

Not bitching about it, just seeing it for what it is: we live in a culture that promotes obesity and poor health: statistically obesity has risen about 50% in the last 20 years and 80% of all illness are not only preventable, but directly related to poor lifestyle choices. I can, and in fact have, spent most of my life "going with the flow" because it's easier...more socially acceptable, and a heck of a lot more fun....plus I have an inner greedy, lazy chick.
The last couple of months leading up to my latest (and last!) weight loss I kept playing around, going on an off random, slightly insane diets (all cabbage and fish) that each lasted maybe a week. Looking back it was like some mental game I was playing with myself to justify my binging. Like I would decide "Monday, I'm starting a strict diet" and then feel okay about going oink, oink, oink all week-end long. Then, I was told by my doc that I was flirting with diabetes.....and in the same week I went to buy a pair of jeans and realized I needed a size 18 instead of the uncomfortably tight size 16 I was wearing- at 5'3! I don't know which feeling was worse. But between the two I pulled my head outta my rear end and got serious.

And about six weeks in, I was exercising, fighting the cravings (which sometimes left me near tears - my addiction to junk was that strong), eating well for the first time in my life and the pounds were coming off and I remember thinking in amazement "whoa, I'm actually doing this" ... it was such an exciting feeling...and, in the category of "things to be grateful for" that initial enthusiasm and commitment, for whatever reason, remains to this day.

So, I revisited a lot of my "food stuff" and culled it down to fitting in the foods from: "Foods that Heal", "The Perricone Promise" and "The Whole Foods Way" into the overall guidelines suggested by the Harvard School of Nutrition. Instead narrowing in on specific micronutrients, to start I'm targeting foods that primarily support: immune system, cardiovascular, bone density, digestion and brain function. Happily, this is all stuff I happen to love and know how to prepare in yummy ways anyway (except for the bulgar which I have no clue about).

Since I'm not recording calories, I'm sticking primarily to egg whites, fish and poultry to make sure I get in sufficient protein and keep the sat fat down without having to count the specific grams. I put in several sample days of different combinations, and if I stick to the narrow meat guidlines: calories always range from 1825-2050 with protein, fiber and sat fat all falling into line.

The daily recording should be a piece of cake cause all I have to do is highlight the foods I selected. I'll let my weekly weigh-in be my back-up calorie guide: weight up or down=adjust calorie dense servings accordingly. So, I'm off to go shopping and just ready to just do this! A new chapter - yey!

Template:
fruits: 4-5 daily servings chosen from
apples, apricots, bananas, blueberries, canteloupe, cherries, figs, grapefruit, grapes, lemons,limes, papaya, pineapple, prunes, raisins, strawberries, tangerines, watermelon

veggies: 5-6 daily servings chosen from
artichokes, avocado, beets, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, califlower, chili pepper, daikon, garlic, ginger, mushrooms, onions, spinach, sweet potatoes, squash, tomatoes

grain/nuts/seeds/legumes: 4-6 daily servings chosen from
almonds, black beans, black eye peas, buckwheat, vulgar, lentils, flax, oats, pumpkin seeds, rice, walnuts, wheat bran, wheat germ

dairy 3 daily servings chosen from::
yogurt, whole, skim/2% milk, cheese (any type)

meat: combined daily 8 oz serving chosen from
chicken, turkey, fish
supplemented by egg whites
plus:
4 oz beef limited to 1x week
pork temporarily off the menu (except for bacon 1x week -- just cause I wanna)

other: 1 daily serving each
olive oil
green tea
 
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