In need of accountability...

Perhaps you can tell your hubby that while you appreciate his desire to be encouraging, his lack of understanding in how to be is actually doing more harm than good. Perhaps the best way to encourage is to not try. Just listen and understand.

My wife tends to be negative and discouraging. I just do my thing and don't invite her input. When she offers it I simply say "I'll take that under advisement."
 
Good thinking Bug. Annette, I was about to say you are doing this for yourself & your daughter. Try not to be too dependant on what anyone else, including your husband, says for your motivation. The best motivation is actually doing it. Hopefully he'll learn to be more encouraging & less reactive xo Cate
 
I know how you feel on the "exercising and eating right I should lose a lot more weight a lot faster than I am" feeling. I've been riding a bike between 80-100 miles a week and watching my diet pretty close and only lost 5 pounds per month the last couple months. But hey, that's 10 pounds less than I was and I'm not depriving myself of things I like.

Some things I've done to help my snacking and sweet tooth (to some degree) are bagged carrot sticks and fat free salad dressing. I love carrot sticks. I also eat a good bit of fat free cottage cheese mixed with blueberries, or cut up banana, or diced pineapple. Sometimes a combo of fruits. Sometimes I'll mix a little peanut butter and low sugar jelly with cottage cheese. There's also a lot of low fat yogurts available now. High protein and low sugar ones too. I also get 97% fat free hot dogs and nuke them with some fat free cheese. There's a lot of things out there that can help you get through the snacky need times that aren't going to hurt your weight loss efforts. You've just got to really look, read labels, and understand what to look for and what to stay away from.

I hope this helps...just sharing some of the things I've done. I've lost a total of 37 pounds in 5 months and haven't felt hungry or deprived.
 
Dear Diary (& Cate & BugDude),
Let me start out by saying I'm thankful. It's so nice to have people to encourage you along the way. And to realize someone "feels your pain." Thank you both SO VERY MUCH for encouraging me to NOT depend on my husband (or anyone else for that matter). What another person says or does cannot determine what I eat. I must do this for me and PROVE THEM WRONG, if need be. And BugDude, I like your suggestion of replying "I'll take that under advisement." It doesn't smack down what the other has said and is a nice way of responding. I like your suggestions too. Have you tried PBII? You may not like it but it is powdered peanut butter-you just add water. They have a chocolate peanut butter flavor too. 2 Tbsp has 45 calories, 2 grams of fat, and 5 grams of protein. I eat it with apples or pears sometimes. It's pretty good-doesn't taste EXACTLY like peanut butter or have the same consistency but I manage it just fine :) I get it at Walmart but they have it on Amazon as well. I eat cottage cheese too. It may sound gross to you but, as a meal sometimes I eat kidney beans, cottage cheese & salsa-very filling and tastes pretty good. Congrats on losing 37 pounds-I can only imagine how good that must feel and I'm glad you found an exercise that you are able to do regularly. For the summer it's often swimming for me (in the mornings) but as it gets cooler I'd like to start riding a bike. In fact, my husband and I have discussed beginning so maybe you can give me some pointers on what type of bike would be best, starting out. Anyways, thanks again!

I'm happy to say I did stick to my guns yesterday when I met my old college friend. This is the one with whom we've built memories around Little Debbie's Swiss Cake Rolls. I made wise decisions yesterday and was proud of myself. She wanted to go eat at Red Bowl. It's a Chinese restaurant. I don't know what it is with my friends and Chines food lately but it doesn't move me...AT ALL. Now Italian or Mexican-whole different ballgame but Chinese, no. And I wasn't impressed at all. The chicken was weird looking. You know how it can be at some Chinese restaurants. It makes you question how they got the chicken so flat and in these weird shapes. Anyway, we had a nice visit. She's overweight too and told me she had tried the military diet for a few weeks. As she was explaining I was thinking, "How could anyone enjoy a can of tuna on dry toast with an apple or ice cream or something. It sounds weird, random and nothing I could carry on for more than a few days.

I'm still struggling to get into a good schedule since I've been out of school. I'll probably be in one as it's time to go back. Sigh. Anyway, my daughter had a doctor's appointment today so that got me out of the house. Hubby and I have not exactly made up so it looks like plans are nil for the 4th. Waah waah boo hoo-whatever, it will be fine. I'll take some cute pictures of my daughter and watch fireworks on youtube-LOL! I'm watching this sweet girl play now. And I felt two little teefers (teeth) FINALLY popping through on the bottom yesterday. I don't know why that excited me but it did :) I bought her some sunglasses today. She tolerated them for 2 seconds and then I took them away. I'll try to get some pics on Saturday then let her break them ;)

I really need to start this strength training deal. What is it going to take? I'm not sure. I guess I need to try and do it first thin in the morning so I don't find other things to do the rest of the day and miss out on it again. We'll see. For me, getting my eating under control and feeling my DESIRES change has been huge steps! I'm glad, although I've only lost around 7 pounds, that I don't desire to do anything that will sabotage that. I didn't work this hard these last few weeks to gain anything back. I cannot wait until I'm no longer in the 200s. I remember telling myself I'd never let myself get there (back in high school or college) but I sure did. And if you're not careful, you'll become complacent and somehow be okay with being there. I'd love to be under 200 before I head back to school. I think we start back August 18th. And I WILL NOT allow school to sabotage what I've accomplished.

Let me say this, for those of you who may not know, working in an elementary school is like working in a bakery sometimes. People bring in cookies and doughnuts and we're always looking for reasons to have a party or a shower. Unfortunately, my room is right beside the place where things are often left but I look forward, even now, to sharing on here how I overcome my temptations when the time comes. Anyhoo, I'm sorry I'm not on your pages more & reading your life journeys. I'm doing the best I can with what I have but know I'm cheering you on the whole way! You are absolutely worth it and you can definitely do this!
Many blessings,
Annette :)
 
Dear Diary,
I woke up feeling "bleh" this morning. It's the end of the 2nd week and I'm stuck at 210.4. Granted, it's my time of month (sorry men ;), but I've been told that does effect things. True or not, it makes me feel a little better. My husband and I argued more last night and he told me he didn't trust me to really do this this time. He said he's watched me for 8 years and how I throw in the towel after 2 weeks or so. Well, I woke up this morning feeling like throwing in the towel. I'll be honest. He then said he wanted me to give him a plan. What? No! I'm doing this for the right reasons but I got to tell you, when your husband treats you like a child in this area, it makes you want to rebel. Right or wrong it does. I told him it was his job to love me unconditionally and if I continued to GAIN weight, he could say something but if I continued to lose, he had no right to say anything. I'm amazed at how deep words can go sometimes. I have to do this this time. I want to. It is hard. I'm still longing for connection and my husband doesn't exactly focus on "enjoying" life too much. And I'm not talking about going out to eat. He doesn't look for anything new to try or experience so I've turned to food. But I have to find some things to take the place of that destructive habit. Anyway, I guess I just wanted to get this off of my chest this morning. I will not go backwards. I'll treat today like it's the beginning of something new and I WILL be successful! I'll find joy in today and be able to feel good about my choices tomorrow :) Happy 4th of July and enjoy your day!
Annette :)
 
timeforachange said:
... My husband and I argued more last night and he told me he didn't trust me to really do this this time. He said he's watched me for 8 years and how I throw in the towel after 2 weeks or so....
Click to expand...

Simply respond, "It's not about YOU. I'm doing this for me, on my terms, in my time. Feel free not to share your thoughts and opinions on the matter."
 
timeforachange said:
...maybe you can give me some pointers on what type of bike would be best, starting out...
Click to expand...

I would not waste your money on a Wal Mart bike. I went to a local bike shop that is a Giant (brand name) dealer. I bought a hybrid (a Mountain Bike style bike with less aggressive tires, less aggressive shock absorbers, and more and higher gears designed more towards road riding). The hybrids are comfortable to ride, you're sitting more upright instead of like a road bike where your butt is up in the air, hands and head low, straining your neck to look forward. Mine is the Giant Sedona DX. A local bike shop will fit you for a bike, which is very important. And they service them with regular tune-ups (free for the first year in my case). Bike fit is majorly important. Right size frame, seat height, handlebar height, legs in the right positions at the top of the stroke (less than parallel with the ground), right at bottom of stroke (not straight, about 30 degrees bend at the knees), and seat position front to back (at mid stroke your toes should not be sticking past your knee). I paid $450 for my bike and as much time as I'm spending on it I'm glad I got a good quality bike. It's not really even an expensive bike in relative terms but it will last a long time.
 
Thanks Bug Dude

Hi,
I just wanted to say thanks for your advice. I wrote a "thank you" earlier, but it looks like it didn't post. I appreciate you taking time out of your day to help me.
Sincerely,
Annette :)
 
Dear Diary,
This is one of those days where I feel ashamed that I've gone backwards from the progress I've made. First of all, being on here has made me more accountable and I was doing so well. Then my sister and my nephew came for a visit. I've kind of spiraled from there. Where I was at 208.8 Wed morning, I'm back at 210.4 this morning :( Unfortunately, the numbers just made me want to eat worse. Why do I keep remaining in this ridiculous cycle? Ugh! I make no excuses, but my emotional state has often driven what and when I eat. This is an area I'm working to overcome. When my sister & nephew left on Friday morning, I cried. :( I was so sad and lonely. It's crazy-no one ever really comes to visit us here so when it happens it's so exciting for me. I had an adult friend and we did kid-friendly things like going to the pool, going to get frozen yogurt, etc. and just all around watching movies and hanging out. It was SO NICE. I feel like we are in a transitional time, of sorts right now. My husband is going through paperwork for a new job and, even though it's only July and I don't go back to work until the middle of August, I'm already dreading it. The sheer survival of it all. I so hoped I would get a better handle on things this summer but, I've come to realize that my daughter's cat naps only serve for me to get a tiny amount accomplished and everything else still remains. Today we got fast food after church. I don't even really LIKE fast food. So, just to count down, pizza Friday night, Burger King Saturday night (plus leftover pizza) and Burger King today. Seriously? Ugh! Why can't I realize what I'm doing to myself! I don't want to gain any more of this weight back.

I am running out of things I want to eat. I have to get better at this cooking thing. Although I am beginning to make good use of the crock pot. I need to go to the grocery store & I so want to feel connected where we currently live. We've discussed moving to the city of my husband's new job so we can be closer to friends we've made in the area as well.

I feel sometimes I may not be using this diary "correctly," if there really is an incorrect way :) This is the one place I can unload all of this and I have to do it. Too much builds up and I turn to food. Lack of connection is a big deal. Not to mention, if I'm honest, I feel I have so much improving to do in the mom area daily as well. PLEASE let me learn to let go & just be grateful for what I'm able to accomplish in every area. AND don't get me started on the allergy nonsense. Ugh! HATE THAT JUNK! I REFUSE to take medicine every single day for that so, unfortunately, it leaves me feeling like junk some days then I eat crap I normally wouldn't. I know I'm whining. I'm not making excuses. I own my choices. I just REALLY want to make better ones.

We're going on vacation this week. Our first cruise :) I'm pretty excited but a bit overwhelmed with what I need to make sure I have together (I'm such a teacher when it comes to things like this) and accomplishing a lot is not always easy with a 9 month old. Two words. Bathing suit. AAAAHHHHH!!!!!! The last thing I EVER want to shop for but, being that the one I have is from around 1999, I figure I need to step it up a bit. LOL! I'm embarrassed for people to see me in my current bathing suit with the cover up that's ripped up one side. It is as bad as it sounds-trust me. The whiteness alone is eye-catching enough but throw in an old bathing suit/cover-up and it goes from bad to worse real fast!

It's after 9 now. I told my husband I needed a few minutes to do this. I started, no lie, the other day and as soon as I sat down my sweet girl woke up. My lack of organization and scheduling is apparent in what I've been able to accomplish thus far this summer. But, I know it's the summer and I've been trying to connect and enjoy. Knowing I'm going back to work doesn't give me much motivation to get on a strict schedule. I was also hoping to turn our spare room into our daughter's room but now that we have the talk of moving in the air, I figure I may not want to expend a lot of energy in that area either.

I must go for now. I have to get up and get these roots done. I know I'm back to 210.4 but I have to do it. I was under 210 so I don't feel so bad. I have to love myself enough to continue to do this-I know I can. PLEASE let me get it together and do it this time! I have to stop resorting to my old, tired habits. PLEASE help me Lord! To everyone else, keep on keeping on. Tomorrow is Monday and a perfect time for me to start anew...again ;)
Blessings,
Annette :)
 
Dear Diary,
Yikes is a good beginning. We just got back from our vacation (cruise) and I can honestly say I blew it with intention. Man, the amount of food available the whole time you are on the ship is crazy. When else is pizza, ice cream, and deli sandwiches available 24-7? Well, I'm not sure if it is 24-7 but every moment I was awake it was all available. Not to mention the buffet times or the dining hall. Geez I ate RIDICULOUSLY. I'm even scared to get on the scales. I paid attention to how I felt regarding my weight on the cruise. Now, I could look around and see people A LOT bigger than me and obviously proud by seeing the outfits they wore, but I still paid attention to it. I can't tell you how many things I put on/took off because I felt they made me look fat in one way or another.

I was just plain lazy today. My husband is still home on vacation so the only things I really "had" to do was to put everything away and since that sounded like anything but fun, I didn't do it. It will be there tomorrow.

In the meantime, I've decided to make a major change regarding my weight and being healthy. One I will share at a later time but it is more drastic than steps I've previously taken. This cruise, the way I felt, and ESPECIALLY desiring to make sure my daughter doesn't watch me struggle with this area for the rest of my life and pick up horrible habits has really helped me make the decision. Please cheer me on if/when you read this or have a second. I'm not giving up this time. This is the last official time I begin this nonsense. I'm going to get it right this time. Thank you Jesus!

I'm off for now but I'm wishing you all the best with lots of success in your weight loss endeavors.
Blessings :)
Annette
 
Hi Annette, this is Mark. I'm new here as of yesterday and am trying to meet a few people. I wish you all the best in your weight loss efforts.....feel free to visit my diary should you wish to. Take care.
 
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