I'm shiny and brand new!

[Redsyroo]

Hi guys! I heard a tip today that joining a forum would be a good way to motivate someone to lose weight or get fit! I can see why this would be possible. Such a large community of people trying to accomplish the same things would want to try their best to help others and so I hope I can find help on this site.

I'm 18 and 5 foot. It's bad enough that I'm teeeeny tiny, but it definitely doesn't help that my brain has decided to stop growing my body upwards, but instead has decided to grow it outwards...

My biggest weight is 9 stone, although I don't weight that much anymore. I'm 8 and a half. But it changes every week, I'll probably be 9 stone again next week...Is that even possible?

The problem I have in life is that I rely too much on others. By this, I mean that I won't even go outside for a walk by myself because I just want to be with someone else. I won't even stick to a meal plan because I want someone to do it with me! When I used to be 8 stone (And this wasn't that long ago, probably last year) I was always with friends and outside. I would take part in sporting activities and had a lot to be happy about. But I'm at a point in my life where I'm not doing much any more. My friends all moved on to college and I chose to work, so my days consist of a lot of sitting down and not a lot of time to see my friends. It's sad, but I don't think I'm the only one who's been through this. So please don't think I'm feeling sorry for myself.

Basically, what I'm looking out for is someone who has been through something similar. Maybe there's someone out there who also used to find it hard to get out there and be independent with their health and well-being. I don't have the mind-set to just...go! I want to get healthy and go for jogs and get outside, but I'm afraid of the feeling of being alone. I have a feeling I'm going through a spout of depression, which is why this is all 10000 times worse in my head than what it needs to be.

I have a feeling I would lose the half a stone pretty quickly. I know I'm very lucky in the sense that I know I don't need to stick to a strict diet and fitness plan to lose weight, I just don't know why I'm letting this silly little thing get in the way. I'm sort of...cutting off my nose to spite my face?

Thank you for reading my essay! (I do like to babble...)

Emma.

 

[knotty1]

Hi and welcome Emma, yes it's great to have supportive people around you like in a forum. Personally, I've found when it comes to fatloss, people I used to hang out with turns out to be mostly a negative experience as far as understanding and supporting your efforts.

knotty

 

[Omega]

Welcome to the forum.

I think that a big part of the issue is that you are missing your friends and maybe the best thing would be that you made a new circle of friends... Your old friends have gone off to college and you are at work.

Have some of them gone to a college in or near your home town so that you can still socialise with them... Then you could meet their new college friends and broaden your circle...

When I was your age I made lots of friends where I used to work and that may be a good idea too.

Then you could maybe find a friend from work who maybe wanted to go walking at lunch time which would be both a nice opportunity to chat and also good exercise...

You may not believe it - because I am in my 50s but we have a fair bit in common... The world does not change as much as you imagine just because we get older...

A year ago we moved back to Newcastle from West London. I had lived down south for nearly 30 years. I lost touch with almost all my old friends because they moved away and I moved away too...

I started going to a zumba class near where I live... I knew that I needed to do some exercise and wanted to try it... I spoke to people and realised that they did a number of other classes - so I asked them which classes they did that they enjoyed most and decided that I would try those... I thought that I might as well try to do the stuff that was most fun...

It was a bit daunting at first - going somewhere that I knew no-one but I decided that I wanted to do some exercise and knew that I needed to make friends... I have got to know quite a lot of people just by going to these classes... The teacher is also a salsa teacher and quite a lot of the people that go do salsa too... It has now got to the point where I go to either zumba or salsa on 5 days out of the week...

When you think back - probably the first day you started school you knew no-one... You would be apprehensive - but you made friends... then probably the first day at work you knew no-one, were apprehensive - but you made friends...

I encourage you to try such as a gym or exercise class... If you can persuade one of your friends to go too then that would be easier - but either way you may well be rewarded with meeting a whole bunch of potential friends...

As far as your weight variation goes - that is perfectly normal... For one thing - you may not be aware but most women gain weight due to water retention around the time of their period...

When you get on the scales you do not just weigh your fat... You weigh all of you... this includes things like the following:
the food and drink that you have eaten that are being processed by your body
possible constipation issues
water retention due to time of month TOM (period)
water retention due to sodium in diet
water retention due to not drinking enough water
water retention due to dehydration from things like alcohol or coffee
muscles get built up due to exercise

all these things mask the way that you are reducing your fat level which is what you hoped that you would see in the change in weight when you got on the scales...

 

[Redsyroo]

Thank you so much for the response!

Knotty - I think I can agree with you on that one. I want to take my lifestyle and health very seriously right now, but my friends are very laid back. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but when they're all so chilled out about it, you sort of take a "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" approach to the situation.

I wouldn't be so worried about my weight, if it wasn't for the fact I know I'm very nearly bordering the risk of being above average weight for my height and age.

Omega - I also agree with everything you've said. My friends are at a point now where they're applying for universities and concentrating on their exams and whatever else they need to organise for their big move to uni. My other friends who I am in contact with and still visit them regularly are boys. I don't know this for sure, but I don't think my guy friends would enjoy spinning and zumba! However, I do go swimming with my boyfriend, and my mum is taking my baby sister swimming once a week once she fits in a pair of swimming pants. I also have one other friend on a "get slimmer for summer" mission. So that's a plus!

I'm so used to moving houses and having to leave my school and making new friends. I've moved well over 15 times in my life, that's nearly 1 new house every year of my life. So I remember vividly the feeling of not knowing any one, and having a class full of children stare at me and the feeling of them already having their own social circles. Then there's just me, trying to adjust and trying to get to know people. It was so much easier when I was younger, but the older I got, the more I just gave up trying to adapt and I just kept myself to myself.

So trying to overcome that is actually harder than you might think. I didn't even think it would be so tough. I just thought that if I knew what I wanted to do, I would just go out and do it. But there's so many things mentally and emotionally that can stop you, it's strange how much we let all the silly stuff get in the way.

My diet is pretty good. Some days I don't want to eat that much, some days I eat 3 to 4 meals. I try to not concentrate too much on what I can't eat, and more of what I WANT to eat. If I eat what I enjoy, I feel happy. Feeling happy then gives me the energy to go out and go for walks and take trips to the beach. I never want to go on a diet where I have to exclude food that I love. I never over eat, I never binge. I'm pretty good with knowing when I'm full and I don't really eat junk. So that's one thing I have under control.

Thank you for your advice.

Emma.