I'm really depressed....

KasumiNeko

KasumiNeko

New member
I need help... I feel so incredibly down all the time... I've been having SUCH a hard time loosing weight... feels like i'll never get down there to 130... I'm still obese after loosing over 70 pounds... I feel horrible... now I;m working out 3x as hard as i used to and no results for the past month or so... not even a pound, not an inch, nothing! no changes.... I don't know weither i should starve myself and work out even harder (up to 4-5 hours a day).. I've considored expensive fat camps.. I dont' know what to do and I can't live with myself... I try so hard to look in the mirror and like what I see but I can't because I hate that person.. I try to take on a possitive attitude most of the time because people are always telling me how unapprochable I am... but I'm so depressed I dunnot what to do... My boyfriend even told me that my depression is worse than some of the things he's seen in movies and on those TV shows (like oprah and stuff)..
I've been seeing psychiatrists since elemtry school... they never help... they're out to dish medications down my throat and nothing more (most of which make me GAIN weight!).. I have no friends and nobody to talk to with that understands my pain.. my boyfriend has always been skinny and one time underweight.. so he doesn't understand...
I dont' know what to do.. I'm ashamed to show my face... I hang my head in public and hardly leave my room. Even going to the gym is horrible b/c of all the skinny girls working out around me.. makes me break down crying in the bathroom sometimes...
I just need to loose 48 more pounds.... I've bn stuck at plateuas for months now... I dunno what to do!! if I dont' loose this weight I won't be able to live with myself!! I'm even saving up for cosmetic surgery for when I turn 18.. I wanna be able to wear a bikini. I bought one the other day that pretty with rainbow hearts (pics below).. because I only wear black one-pieces.. and i told myself if i ever loose the weight I'll wear something with all the colors of the rainbow on it because I'm so sick of ugly black!!(like the one in the pic attatched)..

I'm just so down and I don't know what to do....
 
hello. :) u know what im just new to this forum but one of the reason that i like it here is because of you. i saw ur before and after pic and i read ur story..and ur such an inspiration!

I hope you won't feel so bad about urself just because you think u need to lose weight. and please don't overworked and starve urself...

be kind to urself..ur such a beautiful person. don't rely ur happiness on your weight alone. learn to love urself no matter what. ur lucky because u have a loving boyfriend. try to make some friends. be nice and smile all the time. ur only young once...enjoy it to the fullest.

thats a lovely bikini.i'm sure u will be able to reach ur goal...just take it one day at a time. u know what i also want to wear something sexy as it is soon summer here in our place.

take care okay....

P.S. just wanna share this quote "No one is more beautiful than a woman who is comfortable with herself."
 
Have you had your thyroid checked? If it is underactive, they can fix that and it will make a world of difference to you. I have an underactive thyroid and am taking one little pill a day, and boy, let me tell you, the pounds just melt away with regular exercise. I'm praying for you!
 
hey...
just read your account n believe me i can totally empathise n understand.i can only say what i've been telling myself...get a sense of perspective.while it's v important for me too to lose weight, look good n wear all the stuff i never could even before i had a baby,it's not the end of the world even if it feels like that at times.there are bigger tragedies in this world than the size of my butt.i kno a young girl who works as domestic help n has known all grief from parental loss to her husband's death n now her kid.feel so grateful to the lord above.
best wishes for a very happy life
 
70 lbs is an awesome loss! Look how far you've come! You have less left to go! I am sure that 70 lbs made a huge difference for your health. I understand how you feel about looking back in the mirrow, but you really need to find something in yourself that you like. Appearance is only a small part of the equation. And it is only temporary, because you have power to change it, and you already proved it by loosing 70 lbs!

Unfortunately, it gets harder to loose when you get closer to your goal, but you need to stick to it, and keep going. How many calories a day are you eating? Don't starve yourself, make sure you're eating enough to keep your metabolism up and running. As you're getting slimmer, your body does not require as many calories per day as it used to, so you may need to cut out more calories, but there is danger in this - if you go too far down, your metabolism may slow down because of going in to "starvation mode". Rule of thumb is not going below 1200, although that varies by indivuduals. You may also need to switch around your exercise. Also, what type of exercise you do can make a difference.

Platoes can be very frustrating, but sometimes our bodies do that - hang on to the weight for some reason. It is a temporarily state, because if you keep exercising and eating right, your body will have to adjust and start loosin weight again. Your efforts will pay off!
 
Whatever you do, don't starve yourself. I wouldn't look at it as a plateau, but a fluctuation, or an adjustment, so to speak. Your body is changing, your weight may drop in inconsistent intervals. But the depression is definately part of it. If your mind is depressed, than all of you is depressed. And you should probably goto an actual medical doctor for this as previously mentioned, that would most likely help more than any psychiatrist would. If theres a medical condition present, the doctor can address that as well as your depression. Also could tell you what kind of things you need to eat, and what to avoid. Its time for a more comprehensive plan than just dieting and working out, you need a plan tailored specifically for you, and you may need help in doing so. Hang in there you are capable of doing it, if you work smart, not just hard.
 
I understand

Congrats on the 70pds..:D That is a huge accomplishment...I would love to have that kind of dedication....But I also know about depression and I deal with it myself...The thing is, you cannot let it consume you..You have to constantly tell yourself that it will not take over your life..I can't give you advice on weight lose..By the looks of things ,you'd have plenty to tell me...My ears are wide open! But if you need help dealing with your depression, I am very fluent in pep talks..I give them to myself often..and I found that has helped me heal...
 
I've been told alot of times that depression affects my weight loss.. and I was thinking maybe that is why I'm on this long plateau.. I wanted to go to a fat camp or somethibg but they are so outrageously pricely ($3000 is the cheapest i found.. for just 3 weeks.. O_O!!!) and I'm so broke. it seems like it's be good to get out to some fun camp and meet other kids going thru the same things... since I never get out to anywhere but the gym..

but it makes me feel better there's people out there who actually care.. I just need some1 to talk to... my friends compair their weight to mine all the time getting me even more down.. and my bf just doens't understand.. =|

I'm not starving myself. I'm simply eating a half of what I usually eat... I dont' know if it's enough (b/c i didn't eat alot int he 1st place) so I eat a TON of fruits and veggies as snacks (it's like I've become a vegatarian or something)

I've tried to go to my doctor a/b my depression and everything. I tell her how I get VERY down and cant' loose weight... she does no more than what the usual psychiatrists do... give me pills and tells me to keep up my dieting and exercise... I wish I could afford to do more a/b my weight...

I try to be happy. my prom is comming up in less than a month.. and I'm just so scared it'll turn out terrible... like everythign else usually does... and I'll be worried a/b the way I look the whole time.. I cant' help that... I'm so used to hearing people saying something a/b the way I look behind my back.. and it'd hurt me so bad.. I'm afriad of being hurt like that again so I feel like I have to worry...
..and prom pictures... because whenever pictures of me are developed they usually looks horrible! I'm afraid those expensive pictures will look bad...

thanks, every1, for caring~ :eek:
 
ask yourself if YOU dislike others if they are overweight? i bet you don't, truth is, the only person who really cares about you being (what you perceive to be) overweight is you. you are very lucky you have a boyfriend who cares about you. i did the same thing - being 'unapproachable' because i hated my appearance, until a friend told me to stop it. it really made me look at myself properly, ie the inside. there is no point living in limbo. live now and start by thinking how wonderful you are for losing SO MUCH weight (imagine if you were still 70lbs heavier now?), and how great the journey to good health is. you don't have that much to go, and even though i know plateaus are very frustrating, the fact is by eating right and exercising regularly you are still far healthier. i think you've done incredibly well. start to focus on other aspects of your life, not just weightloss. start eliminated that negative self-talk and put energy into feeling better about yourself - only you can do it.

good luck..
 
It sounds like you're feeling down about a lot of things. I've been depressed before but not near where you're now. I think you do need profesional help, although people on this forum are very happy to listen and help if we can. I wish I could say to you to be easier on yourself, not to beat yourself up that much, not to bring yourself down, and those things that seem so bad are not really that bad at all. But I don't think it will work, because when a person is depressed, they have completely different perception of things, and no matter how sunny the day is, it always seems cloudy and rainy. You're young, healthy, you have friends and a boyfriend (I did not meet anyone I could call a boyfriend until 24!), but I know you cannot see the positive side right now, but please try! You have to fight all the darkness and depression, and you have to keep telling yourself that you will come out on the other side happy and thin! And, by the way, thinness does not equal happyness, happyness can only come from within!
I also would like to say that anti-depressant pills are not that bad. I took them for half a year, and they really helped me to even out the deep dark feelings, and they enabled me to function and do things untill I was able to see the brighter side of things on my own.
Hang in there! I also know that a person is not supposed to feel so bad about their body and themselves, no matter what size they are. I think you need to do some soul searching and figure out why you gravitate to those feelings. Sometimes feeling bad about yourself is easier then facing the world and taking responsibility for yourself. I sence you have a lot of anxiety of how people see you, and you give too much power to them. It is much more important that you have faith in yourself and you treat yourself with respect and love you deserve.

I hope you will feel better soon! Take care of yourself please! Emotional work takes time, but if you keep telling positive thoughts to yourself, you will soon believe them!
 
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