I'm 17, almost 18, and a senior in high school with a 3.8 GPA and a few IB credits. I've been overweight since I was about 7. I have a family history of Diabetes, Manic Depression, and to top it off Alcoholism. Even though I'm only 17 I've dealt with my fair share of strife. My "father" was an abusive drunk who use to beat my sisters and myself. My mother divorced him when I was young but unfortunately he had shared custody over us until I was 8 and use to exercise his right to have us on the weekends just hurt my mother, my sisters and me. As a young one I looked up to my uncle as my father figure but he killed himself after his struggle with depression when I was 7. I'm not telling you this because I want your pity just as a possible reason as to why I am the weight I am but as a way for you understand the type of person I am and my situation. I am 6 feet tall and weigh approximately 230 pounds, truth be told I don't even own a scale, and have been diagnosed with PTSD and I am terrible sleeper averaging about 4 hours a night on weekdays and about 8 on the weekends. Because of my weight I've struggled with depression and have used drugs, such as marijuana alcohol and mushrooms to cope. I started smoking marijuana when I was 15 and found it helped tremendously with depression and insomnia. Believe it or not I actually lost weight while I was smoking. Before I quit smoking I had gotten my weight down to about 190. Now I'm not condoning smoking marijuana to lose weight because I've known many people that it had quite the opposite effect what with munchies and whatnot however for me it gave me the motivation I needed to work out and eat right because quite simply everything tasted awesome. In May of 2010 I was arrested for possession of marijuana and I signed a diversion contract with an intake officer to avoid being charged. Part of the contract is frequent drug testing so naturally I quit smoking and as result I'm back to hating my overweight self with suicidal thoughts being a part of everyday life and have gained all the weight I lost. I still remember the pain my uncle left my family with and I often feel that some of my potential died with him that day. I do not wish to make anyone feel that way so I am not worried that I will ever act on any of my suicidal thoughts. I would like to think that I am a strong enough person to lose this weight without drugs or that I can at least start making some positive lifestyle changes. Now please no preaching because I am completely unapologetic about my choices, I did indeed make them being completely aware of the physiological and social consequences, and I'm just looking for some tips for weight loss and if you have any depression. Who people seem nice and genuinely caring.
P.S.
I do plan on moving to a medicinal marijuana state after my graduation to live a more legitimate and socially acceptable lifestyle
P.S.
I do plan on moving to a medicinal marijuana state after my graduation to live a more legitimate and socially acceptable lifestyle
